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False allegations
#1
Has anyone thought of taking ex partners to court for lies and damaging character? I was talking to a few of dads in con at the centre and they were thinking about it. I think we should start from somewhere to take these nonsense exes to court for lies and damaged they they have done to use. It seems thT they lie and they can walk away easily. This must stope now,
Any thoughts?
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#2
I would advise against this although I can appreciate the frustration and annoyance of many fathers out there who do not get to see their kids for months due to false allegations.

The way I look at it now is, every other ex is making false allegations and the courts are somewhat clued up now on what is happening. Just focus on staying child focussed and making sure you are able to spend time with your kids. The reality is that you should be working with your ex towards co-parenting and trying to get out of the court arena as soon as possible.
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#3
I understand your point but if exes where amicable we wouldn’t be seeing our children in a contact centre supervised for months. The fact that they lie all the way through proceeding without facing any consequences. We must do something now to stop this nonsense going forward.
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#4
There is nothing you can do i am afraid. When anyone tries you are seen as bitter and not co parenting. you cant win i am afraid.
Being quiet getting false allegations thrown at you and doing nothing about it gets best results in long run.
As soon as you go tit for tat you prolong seeing your children you fuel exs fire and they still come out laughing as nothing gets done about it.
More you kick up a fuss the more your ex is getting what they want and that is to keep you away from children

Remember you knocked on a door recently , look what happened for doing something as petty as that. you had a cafcass officer ringing you up and all sorts. you see what i mean.
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#5
Thanks Warwickshire. I know all allegations are silly. I was accused of harassment by knocking on the door even thought she was in hospital 10 miles away. I think is he would look silly when she will tel a judge that. For one allegation she has already changed story twice so yiu can where that one is going.
It is just frustrating that they get away from it and thee isn’t anything fathers can do about it.
My solicitor said if proved she has been lying ( which she is)it will go against her in final hearing.
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#6
Yes when your ex lies it just means judge will treat you more favourable and you would get more if she was to be honest and child focused.
As for lying she will never get into trouble and ex partner will go to any lengths to prevent contact. they will say and do things you couldnt even possibly imagine
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#7
Warwickshire offers sound advice. Having just gone through a contested hearing myself I can reassure you that any allegations need to be proven by your ex, courts don't act upon hearsay but they will never call up your ex on the false allegations made. Don't get involved in a tit for tat with the ex, this will work against you.

Just remember your end goal here, to see the kids, so anything outside of this is irrelevant to you. Just remain child focussed and you'll be fine.
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#8
Thanks guys. I will try my best to put this in the past and concentrate on the children. I will need to clear my name once and for all and move on.
Next hearing is fact finding hopefully in April and final hearing after that. Fingers crossed

Just to add CAFCASS really annoyed me as I raised concerns about my ex’s mental health issue and officer said in his report that I only raised concern after relationship was ended. I was never asked this question though. I was home looking after my family and she was receiving professional help, mental nurse every week, health visitor ever 2 weeks and Psychiatrist every 3 weeks.
My question to officer was why my ex did not raise any of these allegations during relationship? It seems to be only one sided.
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#9
You need to focus on kids . Dont worry what Cafcass are saying about your concerns regarding your ex its irrelevant . Dads never clear their names, false allegations just remain not proven by your ex. she will accuse you still of doing them to whoever chooses to listen until one day they get bored. When one allegation is disproved to them they return with a new one. best way is to ignore be thick skinned and dont rise and be calm. You want to hear my allegations i have had against me constant over a 5 year period, none with any evidence. fabricated and riduculous and it is still going on now.

When as dads even rise or get a little agitated they come down on you like a ton of bricks, do nothing is all you can do . Get as much as access to children through and that is being calm and avoid raising issues about ex. just tell yourself nobody listen and more often than not they are used against you and say your bitter or malicious which results in seeing your kids longer or ex coming back with even more allegations
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#10
(03-04-2019, 03:04 PM)warwickshire1 Wrote: You need to focus on kids . Dont worry what Cafcass are saying about your concerns regarding your ex its irrelevant . Dads never clear their names, false allegations just remain not proven by your ex. she will accuse you still of doing them to whoever chooses to listen until one day they get bored. When one allegation is disproved to them they return with a new one. best way is to ignore be thick skinned and dont rise and be calm. You want to hear my allegations i have had against me constant over a 5 year period, none with any evidence. fabricated and riduculous and it is still going on now.

When as dads even rise or get a little agitated they come down  on you like a ton of bricks, do nothing is all you can do . Get as much as access to children through and that is being calm and avoid raising issues about ex. just tell yourself nobody listen and more often than not they are used against you and say your bitter or malicious which results in seeing your kids longer or ex coming back with even more allegations

Some really good advice here and I am someone who has recently (late last year) come out of the final hearing and self represented - During that final hearing, you (or your solicitor will) get a chance to cross examine your ex. Personally, I knew of numerous lies and incidents where a story reflected badly on me. I exposed these for what they were and there wasn't a lot my ex, or her solicitor could do or say when the facts were presented. Keep calm though.

Whilst it is incredibly frustrating to sit through (now and through court) to hear your ex's lies and deceit, you cannot rise to the bait. Remember why you are going through court, and stay focussed on those children.

Keep child focussed as that is why you are going through court.

Good luck
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