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First midweek overnight tomorrow Ex freaking out!
#21
It's important to keep these communications from her - print them out straight away (texts and emails) and file them (I had some emails disappear/withdrawn). And also any responses you send. Just in case you do go to court again, because it's evidence. Yes my ex used to question son about everything, then twist it into "he says you forced him to do xyz and he hates coming". That kind of thing. Shocking to read. But it was the evidence I needed to show what she was doing.

Your ex is trying to build a case to stop the extra contact. If she is trying to pressurise your child it's not working, so that's good. Focus on your time with him and don't get into dialogue with him about what Mummy says and does. She may send messages that are bombshells - eg Mummy says your food made me ill -etc etc. No response. Then reassure him there is no problem with the food. Change the subject - he'll have forgotten about it in a few minutes. But make a diary note. "Son sent with message from ex to tell me my food makes him ill. Reassured him the food was fine".

I would not respond to that "devastated" message personally. You have a court order, your son is coming. That message would just show a court that your ex is not supportive of contact and is not encouraging your son.

Mine is here this week-end. The phone stuff all forgotten - am ignoring it. But made a diary note that she sent him with negative messages accusing me of something. They are not supposed to use the child as a messenger (and particularly for accusing the other parent of something!).
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#22
Be very careful now . If an ex partner doesn't want you to have your son during week overnights she will just get worse and worse until she accepts it. They will do things you would never expect including false allegation after false allegation. Whe one is dismissed another one will be made up usually by them upping their game until they can prevent contact. All you can do like Charlie said is write down everything your son says in diary and date it and could even log down what you have done during your contact
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#23
Absolutely, I back up online and on physical drive my whole iphone including all texts and emails. Have done so religiously for over 3 years now.

My boy is here this weekend too, having a nap now, and we will meet my ex in couple hours to go to school friend bday party. Will certainly be in 'radar' mode for the slightest thing by her, whilst always friendly and polite to her, I have had to become a master at that! Sad but true.

I have a full list of all my son say, dated and backed up. I always brush over nonsense, change the subject and have a laugh and a play like we always do. Between us he is absolutely as always, happy, confident, affectionate and so thats the main thing I look out for.

I dont believe she would go to the extend of taking us to court based on nonsense, not least because I literally give her not an inch of anything to use against me, unless she just made a complete lie up.. I am also hoping that she would not in a sense, and inher eyes, 'risk' going to court as she knows I would be reviving my application to have our child in larger blocks, ideally one week with her and one with me.

As long as I felt we are working together amicably and supportive, I honestly was never going to contemplate us going to court again, even if it meant not having 50/50. But if I was forced to by her, one way or the other, then I would take the opportunity to try and convince the court that our child would benefit enormously by having a clearly defined and ordered life and home with each of us. this behaviour of hers only supports the many other reasons for doing this.


Thanks for the responses guys....please do keep them coming, they really help..
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