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Mother's disappeared aboard
#1
Hi all,

I'm in an awkward situation. Mother and I live 1 hour 15 mins apart and I have a contact order in place as of this year. (every other weekend and I am looking to eventually get back to 50/50 that I once had before some changes). She had asked me to watch them for about a week because she had something important to do, that she wouldn't tell me. She even suggested that the children could miss school instead of me making the trip to drop them and pick them up every morning and evening. I, of course, told her that would be impossible to do right now, so maybe reschedule for a better time.

I've found out today, she has left the kids with a student friend (who has upcoming exams in a couple of days), to a country 7 hours by flight away, for two weeks. I spoke to her and expressed my disappointment that she had not considered this poor friend's situation, only to find out that the friend only thought that the children's mother would be gone only a handful of days. I took them home today (As I get mid-week afterschool visits to take them out and get them a bite to eat) and I am now not sure what to do. I will make to 3+ hour journey, 3 hours by car that is, to their school when I can, but I'm not sure whom to speak to about this. What should I say to the school on the days they can't attend?

Thanks for all your support.
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#2
(05-08-2019, 04:23 PM)superdaddy Wrote: Hi all,

I'm in an awkward situation. Mother and I live 1 hour 15 mins apart and I have a contact order in place as of this year. (every other weekend and I am looking to eventually get back to 50/50 that I once had before some changes). She had asked me to watch them for about a week because she had something important to do, that she wouldn't tell me. She even suggested that the children could miss school instead of me making the trip to drop them and pick them up every morning and evening. I, of course, told her that would be impossible to do right now, so maybe reschedule for a better time.

I've found out today, she has left the kids with a student friend (who has upcoming exams in a couple of days), to a country 7 hours by flight away, for two weeks. I spoke to her and expressed my disappointment that she had not considered this poor friend's situation, only to find out that the friend only thought that the children's mother would be gone only a handful of days. I took them home today (As I get mid-week afterschool visits to take them out and get them a bite to eat) and I am now not sure what to do. I will make to 3+ hour journey, 3 hours by car that is, to their school when I can, but I'm not sure whom to speak to about this. What should I say to the school on the days they can't attend?

Thanks for all your support.

At 9am tomorrow, phone your local County Court. You need to do an application for an emergancy Ex Party Child Arrangement Order.

The Court will make an order saying they live with you until a set date, when she will be invited to attend.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
I'm trying to find more information on this order, but I can't find much. Is it just a section that would be filled out on the typical Child Arrangements Order?

Forgive my ignorance, and thanks for your speedy reply.
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#4
Yes it would be C100 but urgent application.
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#5
Okay, thank you, I'll give them a ring tomorrow and see what happens.
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#6
how you get on?
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#7
Hi all,

I think I may not have been too clear in my first post. Mother has gone on holiday, I believe, Monday (She could have been gone from before but to the best of my knowledge, she's been gone since at least this Monday). When I did get to speak to her, she said she would be back by 18th of this month.

So I called the school, informed them of what was happening and was told by the helpful receptionist that she'd let the headteacher know and will contact me if the head teacher needs more information. Their mother may have found out as she messaged me that her kids need to be in school (ironic). She says the friend did know about how long she would be away for and that she didn't know about her exams. (The exams bit is just rubbish, she had to have known. Other people did).

I tried getting through to my local county court but when I press the option to speak to someone, the phone cuts. I'll try again at around 2 pm. I did get through to Citizen's Advice Burea and they directed me to Child Law Advice. A gentleman, after hearing my situation, advised she does have the right to delegate care to someone she trusts, but he understands my situation and why I had to take them. He advised that I could apply to vary the order we already have in place, to change residence/I become the main caregiver etc. To be honest, I've wanted to return to 50/50 (by me moving closer to her and kids) or have the children live with me, for a long time, but I've been biding time for the appropriate moment, as I don't know if I have enough to prove they'd be better off in my care.

I am very disappointed and upset with all this but it just seems that all I can do is take them to school when I can, cancel all my work/plans and just wait for when she returns to bring them back, given the fact she is coming back by the given date. Am I wrong?
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#8
If your kids cant attend school that is in no way your fault. U should phone school and say you do the best you can to get them In.You have a child arrangements order . If they dont attend mum will be liable to be fined as they are meant to be in her care .
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#9
UPDATE:

Late yesterday the Headteacher asked to have a meeting with me and I came up to see her this morning. She wanted to have a talk about the situation and the children in general, as they themselves have a few welfare concerns regarding them.

She was lovely. I explained in detail the current situation and she was not impressed but she was not shocked either. She explained that their attendance is "irregular" at best (I believe she was referring to both punctuality and attendance) and that the younger twin was struggling. I explained to her the reasons as to why she didn't know I existed until around March of this year; Mother had stopped all contact due to a falling out and I had to take their mother to court just to see twins again. They asked a few questions about mum, in other to gauge her "stability" I suppose (i.e. is everything okay, physically, mentally).

The school just seemed to want clarity as they seem to be in the dark about things. They expressed it's also my right to know about the twins' wellbeing and will be contacting me separately from their mum. They told me to bring them to school when I can, but they understand if I cannot make it in.

The whole situation is making me feel that I need to move and not wait until September to try and increase contact (or change residence), because these precious children need someone to look after their best interest daily.
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#10
It's really good that school are showing a duty of care and interested in the children welfare which means in my opinion they are in a good school for them.

The fact they are going to contact you separate from their mum on correspondence is also brilliant as you know what is going on at school too.

All you can do is keep doing what you are doing as clearly the mother has other things going on that she views as a priority but needs to ensure as a minimum the kids turn up to school on time on a daily basis as there is no excuse for that
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