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Phone contact issues
#1
Does anyone know what the court's views are these days, when kids have their own smartphones.  There is no phone contact in my court order.  However ex is using the smartphone she got son to cause trouble.  So he was here for half term and she instructed him to call her regularly.  He got stroppy when I suggested a text instead.  He is under pressure to do what Mum says - a lot of pressure.  She wants it to look like he wants to call her and it's his choice.

Of course he is blocked from any phone contact with me when at hers. My concerns, apart from the disruption, are based on her history of allegations. It's a shared care order. No communication with ex these days - almost impossible.
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#2
(06-03-2019, 10:22 AM)Charlie7000 Wrote: Does anyone know what the court's views are these days, when kids have their own smartphones.  There is no phone contact in my court order.  However ex is using the smartphone she got son to cause trouble.  So he was here for half term and she instructed him to call her regularly.  He got stroppy when I suggested a text instead.  He is under pressure to do what Mum says - a lot of pressure.  She wants it to look like he wants to call her and it's his choice.

Of course he is blocked from any phone contact with me when at hers. My concerns, apart from the disruption, are based on her history of allegations.  It's a shared care order.  No communication with ex these days - almost impossible.

how olds your lad?
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#3
I’d be interested to know this as my daughter is approaching 9 and she wants to get a smart phone but my ex has told her she can’t call me obviously ?
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#4
He is 11. She recently told him I had put malware on it and told him to keep it in his bedroom. In direct contradiction of my house rules which are - no phones or internet gadgets in the bedroom. He's 11, not 16.

A standard smartphone wouldn't be so bad, if both parents know the unlock code and can check on the phone to see that everything is as it should be and no inappropriate messages etc. But my ex provided a phone she monitors remotely - it's like a spying/tagging/blocking device!

Anyway there are no court ordered phone calls except on one birthday once a year. And as she is not allowing any phone contact I want to know where I stand setting a rule that he can only use the phone once during the week-end or something for texting. I gave him another one to use for games and contacting me when he's here.

Basically the alienation has started up again. She lied to son, convinced him I did something untrustworthy to the phone so he must keep it safe in his bedroom - which of course is just an excuse to disrupt his home life with me (he of course is in conflict not knowing who is telling the truth). Then instructed him he had to call her regularly. I don't know what she did or said to scare him into doing it, but scared he was. But also believing it was "his wishes" to call his Mum regularly and got aggressive when I said it was too late. Totally out of character.

He was quite alienated last year but it wore off after the court order - it's started up again. She only ever gave him a smartphone to cause trouble.
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#5
(06-03-2019, 10:22 AM)Charlie7000 Wrote: Does anyone know what the court's views are these days, when kids have their own smartphones.  There is no phone contact in my court order.  However ex is using the smartphone she got son to cause trouble.  So he was here for half term and she instructed him to call her regularly.  He got stroppy when I suggested a text instead.  He is under pressure to do what Mum says - a lot of pressure.  She wants it to look like he wants to call her and it's his choice.

Of course he is blocked from any phone contact with me when at hers. My concerns, apart from the disruption, are based on her history of allegations.  It's a shared care order.  No communication with ex these days - almost impossible.

Assuming you have a CAO or Consent Order, putting the Child in your care for contact, then I inform you ex that you outrank her in your time, and that the child is not allowed to contact her in it, unless its the childs decision to do so.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#6
Cheers Mark. That is the problem. I don't know what she has done or said but son is terrified and saying it is him wants to call his Mum (which he hasn't done before) - she has told him to say that. He seems a bit brainwashed. I know she has done something to scare him into ignoring me and saying he will phone her all the time, because he has been stuttering badly.

Annoys me this idea of "if the child wants to" as it's like "he doesn't want to come to your house" type thing. He wouldn't do it voluntarily and it has always only been texts before.
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