Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
FDR Hearing and Ex to quit the job
#1
Hi - I have finance FDR hearing tomorrow (Divorce going for a year now), married only for 2.5 years with 2 children aged 2 

We both had full time job during the marriage, where ex had no contribution to family finance. Now as the finance application is coming up for hearing she quits her full time job claiming she needs to look after the children and claims for lumpsum from me (surprise !). I will be making a point to the judge to take notice of Ex deliberately putting herself in a disadvantageous position...Has anyone been in similar situation and any advice ? Thanks
Reply
#2
(06-05-2019, 12:36 PM)SeanS Wrote: Hi - I have finance FDR hearing tomorrow (Divorce going for a year now), married only for 2.5 years with 2 children aged 2 

We both had full time job during the marriage, where ex had no contribution to family finance. Now as the finance application is coming up for hearing she quits her full time job claiming she needs to look after the children and claims for lumpsum from me (surprise !). I will be making a point to the judge to take notice of Ex deliberately putting herself in a disadvantageous position...Has anyone been in similar situation and any advice ? Thanks

Make it clear to the Judge that she got herself into a better position than when you first got together, during the seperation period

Therefore, you can not be held accountable for her current situation.

What you might want to do, if its workable, is say that its clear that she can not cope with the children and keep a job down, so that you are considering applying for a shared residance order, to help her out.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#3
Both are excellent points, thanks Mark. I will bring that up at the court.
Reply
#4
Another great day at the court. Went for FDR (Finance) today fully expecting that there will be final hearing...

Judge asked Ex what does she want from final hearing...couple of funny (for me) moment followed where Ex was trying to find the papers, said sorry for not finding the paper...Judge looking little perplexed said 'you can tell from what you remember'. So ex rambled 700 per month maintenance, 16 K one time lump sum and 10K pension sharing. A total of approx 50K

It was my turn next, I asked for the permission from judge to explain some background about marriage, contribution in the marriage, job situation, children situation and how Ex is taking advantage of the system, different agencies and finally wanting to quit the job deliberately putting herself in a disadvantageous position, and asked Court to see thru Ex design. I said my only proposal is a clean break where no one has to give money to anyone, work hard to their fullest earning capacity and play active role in children's future ( finance)...after some deliberations the asking money was down to 20K !

Judge said to ex, you lost your job that is your bad luck but court system go by 'earning capacity' when it comes to settlement and not necessarily whether you have a job or not. Ex was close to tears by then she said 'oh I got my mother who is financially dependent on me'...judge stopped her mid way to say "mothers fathers siblings don't matter here, this is the case between husband wife and children. it is noble that you are able to do something for your parents but is not part of settlement"..at this point the asking money was down to 10K

Judge said it is such a simple case and one that doesn't have to go to final hearing...here comes the interesting bit...Judge said to ex "if i were to handle the final hearing you will not get any spousal maintenance",

Judge turned towards me asked if I'm willing to pay 10K, I said referring to ex 'here is the mother who terminated my children access at family home, made me and children go to contact center for last one year, made me fight to see my children for every hour, and that situation has not changed even today even after all the judges have said there are no welfare concerns, so I find it hard to separate finance with my relationship with children so in conclusion I will never agree to pay 10 k, not today not tomorrow not in million years and apologized to judge for feeling so strongly which judge kindly accepted" at this time Ex was in tears ( well she deserved some after what she made me go thru with children)

At this point Judge came up with 6K so that Ex can meet her immediate requirements while finding the job, which Ex readily agreed. SO it was my turn - I said to judge if this is not going to final hearing which I plan to get representation then the only money I will be happy to pay the legal fees for the final hearing which is 3K...

guess what 3K was accepted !! All in the matter 50 mintues, started from 50K, ex left the room with the draft consent order signed for 3K and whole box of tissues Judge kindly offered her to wipe her tears !

To think of it, Ex ruined my family and children contact for some 50 K and made me go thru the hell for whole year, to get a meagre 3K and tissue to wipe tears ? I think I will accept the judgement.
Reply
#5
Well done mate. Was this only for financial settlement as part of divorce process?
Reply
#6
thanks, correct financial settlement as part of the divorce.
Reply
#7
Another case where the ex thinks she will demand and the court will give all gone wrong.

Well done mate, you can move forwards now.
Reply
#8
Excellent result mate! Chuffed for you! Glad the judge saw through her!
Reply
#9
Thanks Leader and Astroman. The end is in sight. Children access final hearing to go. Hopefully for some normal life and some good times to spend with children after this nasty process of divorce.
Reply
#10
(06-06-2019, 07:42 PM)SeanS Wrote: Thanks Leader and Astroman. The end is in sight. Children access final hearing to go. Hopefully for some normal life and some good times to spend with children after this nasty process of divorce.

Great result.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)