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Mediation/How to inform the child/ISW
#1
Hi,

I am writing in this section as I'm not sure which section it belongs.

I have two questions:

- How does mediation usually contact the other party? My ex didn't respond to mediation and I proceeded with Court application. Now that we have a Hearing date she is claiming that she was never contacted by the mediation who had her telephone number and address. I assume that they have a procedure to follow to contact the other party?

- How to approach it with the child. My daughter is 8yo and isn't aware that I'm asking for more time. Eventually we will have to mention it to her, especially as CAFCASS or an independent worker will visit her. Not sure how to mention it to her in way that doesn't involve her too much in adult worlds.

Actually I have another question.: Does anyone out there has experience of an independent social worker? My lawyer recommended that I go this route and I applied for it at Court. 

Thanks for any answer.
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#2
Do not listen to your ex partner !!. You tried mediation , they said she was not contactable so not your problem,they signed it off. I would advise not to discuss anything with your daughter and let professionals do their job( sure your ex may but cafcass will, pick up on that ) , but by all means spend quality time and praise her lots and do everything natural. I wouldn't want a social worker involved . From my experience they aren't much help at all, they take sides and are overworked and seem to make matters worse.
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#3
My ex also claimed she didn’t get invited initially and then sabotaged it by making false and unfounded allegations against me. Mediator clearly knew what her game was and signed us off, despite ex in numerous emails claiming she is looking forward to mediation. Do not trust her and carry on with court proceedings.
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#4
Yes I agree, carry on with the court application.

I always remember a great statement by the late John Wayne, "Never trust a person who paints their face".
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#5
Lol andy! I was advised to say to my son, that Mum and Dad couldn't agree on some things and mediation and court is to help people sort some things out when they can't agree and not to worry about it and just enjoy being a kid and having fun.

When you get to final hearing, just tell Cafcass that the mediator had tried to invite ex a few times but she didn't respond. Cafcass may order mediation after first hearing, then she'd have to go.

Your daughter is 8 so Cafcass won't be asking her what she wants - your order will be based on what is standard and reasonable, assuming there are no welfare issues or allegations by your ex.

The standard is every other week-end, a midweek overnight and half the school holidays.
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