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It's been a year and a bit
#21
(07-12-2019, 12:40 PM)Fatcat1980 Wrote: I have a serious concern about giving her the money from the house though.  This bloke raises lots of red flags and she's as gullible as they come these days.  I wouldn't be surprised if she has "investment" plans with this guy as she has no interest in buying a house and told me she had no plans for the money.

When it comes down to it, if she blows the money on a whim it really isn't your problem so shouldn't be your worry now. You're buying "out" of financial ties with her & as you've said, that puts you in a much better position moving forward.

You have a good work/life balance when it comes to the time you can have your kids & that won't change no matter what she screws up, you may even find you have the kids more if your hunch is right & she screws up epically again!
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#22
Thanks Dan, what you say at the end there is very true. I'm very lucky. I need to hang on to my job. But if I can get the security of buying the house from her, the pressure will be off. I'd seriously consider cutting my hours, at least for 3-4 years so that I can be more available for the kids.

You also help me to accept something else: I feel loads of guilt and am constantly asking myself what I did for this to happen. But my close friends and family are quick to remind me that she did this. Her reasons were pathetic and she is making a fool of herself now. I wasn't perfect, but I was a decent, loyal partner who let her have her own way virtually all the time. Parents at school have said things to me that suggest that they see this for what it is - they know she's lost the plot and I've stood firm for the kids and for my own self-respect and future. And now that enough time has passed, she feels she can be relaxed about the affair, just last week telling me what a lovely man this guy is that helped break up my family.
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