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Handover Book
#1
I was suggested by Cafcass to start using a ‘handover book’ to pass info between separated parents to make notes that is relevant to the other parent at the time of handover. Although I heard about it for the first time, I feel it is a good idea, especially in my case as children are young, to record things like what they ate, nappy change time etc.

Question - has anyone done or used that handover book ? If yes any advice which book to use and whether a single copy of the book is used ?

Cafcass also suggested that sometimes the handover book can be useful at the court as well if anyone needed to refer back to the book.

Thanks
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#2
It's a 'book' but really it's just an A5 notebook. The things you state should go in there should as well as any meds, matters of health, allergies etc. Word of csution, my ex is an inveterate liar and trucjy as can be. She failed to produce the handover book for the last few handovers before court and it was obvious why when I saw it. She'd amended it. So, she's meant to pass it you when you get the children. Find five minutes before going back and fill it in. Fill in hiur time of arrival before and after (leave the last blank till you get back and write it in then) and draw a line under it Take a photo and leave it in the cloud.. Should the book and its contents ever arise in court you can produce the unaltered version.
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#3
This handover book recommended by Cafcass has given me no end of bother, if anything, it has caused more hostility. If used well then it can be extremely beneficial to share RELEVANT information at the time of the handover that is useful for a parent to be aware of before the children come into their care.

However, if their is hostility already their in the relationship between you and the ex then things said in the handover book can be interpreted in the wrong way - this is easily done.

I would suggest agreeing with the ex up front what key information you would be sharing with each other in the handover book (setup up rules/criteria upfront), otherwise as in my case and others I know, this book will be used as another tool by the ex to control. My mediator referred to it as the "bully book". If she does start using the handover book to take swipes at your parenting then don't respond, just ignore, by only providing key information to her for the handover

As mentioned, keep the content focussed on what is relevant for the ex to know before the kids go back into her care, if she wants to talk about any general things about the children then I would suggest setting up a generic email account as well where this information can be shared.
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#4
very sound advice and potential pitfall to avoid too, thank you Chi21965, Leader1978. I will find a suitable book online and set some guidelines as to how to follow it.
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#5
You don't need to find anything online - just buy a notebook from your local stationary shop.

Just put the date in for each time you make an entry:

Mon 8th July
Breakfast -
Lunch -
Dinner -

Anything else relevant: nap times, medication given etc...
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#6
Like others on here I have an ex who is a manipulative liar who puts revenge ahead of her children’s wellbeing, so although we use a handover book because Cafcass told us to, I take pictures of the pages because I do not trust her one bit.

Hopefully your ex is not a nutter, but if any comment is added to the book that you disagree with, ensure you initial and date your objections clearly. You don’t need to argue the point, just make it clear that you disagree, or believe it to be false, so if it ever came up in court you will have it all there.
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#7
I scrapped the book after our court case last year. Mostly because the ex just used it as a tool for criticizing and controlling, she flatly refused to agree what we should BOTH put in it.

Anyway I looked at phone apps. There are some spectacular ones out there now, they do all kinds of things like uploading receipts, calendars etc etc. But most importantly they record the handover entries and communication. You can also add your solicitor so they can view everything too.
A great tool for equal co-parents, hence my ex flatly refused to use it, even to the judge.
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#8
thanks for the response...feels like mixed results for the handover book then. It feels like an ex who is still spiteful can use this as a tool, and in my case I have already seen signs of this where in ex moaned about as silly as children losing their butterfly hair clip !! yes she sent me an email about missing hair clip, i can't make this up. I was thinking to myself 'you are someone who is the mother of our children and cant you see their father and children ended up in contact center for the whole year which they don't deserve, and you are moaning about missing hair clip' and some choice words followed up after that ! Only question I ask is, when will these spiteful mothers learn to put children's interests first.

Anyway I will give the handbook go with a clear expectation that it must not be used as slug fest, we will see how it goes.

Just out of curiosity, would you be able to PM me the mobile app name pls, thanks
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#9
Cafcass have some great ideas, but they assume people are normal lol. Enough nasty stuff via email here, without it being in a contact back. You could try it - and keep photocopies of your pages now and then in case it does go back to court and she "loses" the book. But if she abuses it I would send a polite email saying you think communication by email would be better for now, or just verbal updates at handover.

Would also be interested in the app details please Naive. Are they nutter-proof?
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#10
The one I set up was Appclose, it came recommend and looked pretty good but never saw it working I’m afraid. Lots of functions
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