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Access during school holidays
#1
A couple of months ago I told my ex that I would have my daughter for 2 separate weeks during the school break, so far no problem...

Money is tight so I have not promised my 12 year old daughter who I see every week that we will be definitely be going away anywhere. In my mind I am thinking of a few days away in each week if finances allow, but I believe in not making false promises and so have nothing concrete at the moment.

My ex has texted me today saying that my daughter only wants to stay with me the first week. And the second week she wants to stay at home and I pick her up each day.

My daughter and I have a good relationship and nothing has been mentioned prior to this. 

My ex is a nurse and is in bed for 2 days each week and I don't want my daughter sitting in the house on her own.

Should I insist that my daughter stays with me the second week also.

I do feel that parental alienation is taking place and I am really concerned and do not know what to do?

Thank you for any guidance on this.

Kind regards
Nick
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#2
Do you have a child arrangement order in place?
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#3
I wouldn’t accept this. My ex tried this one year and I let it go as I was up to my eyeballs with a sick family member and organising a house move. It was a disaster - son had to adjust daily to different parenting and we ended up in court lol. It wound her up hearing about his days every night and he was strange after being at hers overnight.

Far too convenient to say - daughter wants this. She should be saying to daughter - you’ll enjoy a week at your Dad’s.

So I woukd do a biff email saying it has been agreed that daughter would spend 2 separate weeks with you over the summer and wish this agreement to be kept to. You are sure daughter will enjoy her holiday time with you. That you already have some plans and will collect her as agreed on x date and x date.

Shame you haven’t got anything booked - even a couple of nights away - or you could have gone for specific issues order of ex refuses.
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#4
(07-18-2019, 07:42 PM)andynumpty Wrote: Do you have a child arrangement order in place?

Sort of yes, a verbal agreement, she took out a non mol order against me so when she breaks our agreement I tend to keep my mouth shut, as to be honest I am scared of what she will do next

(07-18-2019, 08:02 PM)Charlie7000 Wrote: I wouldn’t accept this. My ex tried this one year and I let it go as I was up to my eyeballs with a sick family member and organising a house move. It was a disaster - son had to adjust daily to different parenting and we ended up in court lol.  It wound her up hearing about his days every night and he was strange after being at hers overnight.

Far too convenient to say - daughter wants this. She should be saying to daughter - you’ll enjoy a week at your Dad’s.

So I woukd do a biff email saying it has been agreed that daughter would spend 2 separate weeks with you over the summer and wish this agreement to be kept to. You are sure daughter will enjoy her holiday time with you.  That you already have some plans and will collect her as agreed on x date and x date.

Shame you haven’t got anything booked - even a couple of nights away - or you could have gone for specific issues order of ex refuses.

Hi Charlie,

My daughter is similar it takes me an hour or two to break the unhappiness in her when she comes to mine, then she is back to her happy vibrant self, I know its not good her being with my ex.

I agree, the ex should be saying she will enjoy being with me, however lets just say she is not a nice individual.

Sorry whats a BIFF email? and yes this is what I am tempted to say.

Problem is like most ex Dad's renting somewhere suitable is crippling me, so going any court route that is going to cost money is tough, she also took out a non mol order that I didn't fight because I was emotional exhausted from it all and just wanted to be as far away from the ex as possible. I can't believe the lies and twisted statements... hindsight is a wonderful thing...

Kind regards
Nick
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#5
Hi, I'm no expert but I'd get these holidays out of the way and then consider applying to Court for a defined Child Arrangement Order. More experienced people might give you more advice.
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#6
I can see that is tricky if she took out a non mol - she can contact you but you can’t contact her! But they only last a year don’t they? How long left? If you book something you could apply for a specific issues order for your holiday and at the same time explain it was agreed you would have two full weeks and she is now not keeping to this agreement (helps if you have emails or texts to show that was agreed). You could also ask for Child Arrangements in same application so there’d be a further hearing for that. You could do it yourself and just pay the court fee which is £215.

A biff email is - brief, informative, formal, friendly. As if writing to a business colleague. But not if you’re not allowed to contact her.
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