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social media
#1
We've got a court case going on at the moment as my partner hasn't seen his children for a year now and CAFCASS due to interview him for the Section 7 in the next few weeks. There have been a number of things going on....

One we are a bit unsure about mentioning as it could look petty but is a bit of a safeguarding concern, is her use of Facebook. She always had her settings to friends only like any responsible adult until some time after they separated, but since then it has veered between posting everything publicly and then setting it back to all private again. She last privatised everything just before the FHDRA, we assumed because someone had maybe pointed out that it wasn't doing her any favours, and then several weeks later got cocky again and it's all back to public. In my opinion it is done to wind up my partner (who blocked her well over a year ago anyhow), as the posts are excessively about the children and designed to humble-brag about what an amazing mother she is and harvest likes off a small group of her friends.

She posts the full names of the children, about their birthdays, their school name, she has even this week posted photos of their school reports which include who their teacher is. The kids are not naked thankfully in any shots but are often sat around in their pants/shorts. Compared to my friends, who post occasionally about their kid's achievements, this is almost daily at times. I suspect she needs to keep proving she is a good mum....

As she stopped contact due to safeguarding concerns, is apparently training to become a child therapist and really should know better, do we carry on trying to ignore it, or mention it?
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#2
Social Media is something that can shoot someone in the foot if they are not careful - once its out there, its pretty difficult to remove - your partner could argue that the ex is putting the children at risk (certainly if I was a teacher I would be pretty miffed if any report I had written had been posted online).

Your partner could ask that the ex tones down the use of social media around where the kids are concerned (screen shots, etc can be taken), however that could open another can of worms.

I have veered completely away from ANY use of Social Media and both my self and my ex have each other blocked (but its not hard to get around this if you know how).
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#3
I never paid much attention to my social media settings. Once in a while when I was on my laptop I would lock all previous posts down but realised after a while that my phone would publish each post publicly. Ive since learnt how to ensure that any post is automatically "friends only"
I mention this because it could explain the erratic locking and unlocking of public posts from the ex.
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#4
kept all my social media accounts open, but private for most other than twitter.
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#5
We did consider the privacy settings were accidental but it has often coincided with a particular event. I'm not too concerned as to what she shares about her own life, although we occasionally screen shot anything potentially concerning (like a post last year about moving away with the children once she had finished her course, saying the dad was no longer a reason to stay), it's more the risk to the children over how much she shares. She was even posting things from school with other people's children in shot a while back.
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#6
Yeah thats a big no no, schools get really funny about posting on social media and I can understand why. Some children cant be pictured at school for legal reasons.
I must say that a post like that, moving away, would scare the living hell out of me.

On the other hand Im sure my ex probably says the same about me, I really only post about my daughter, Ive always used facebook as a type of online diary, days out, significant events etc. I always hope that my daughter will be able to look back over our lives when she is older. I lived abroad in 2007 when I started Facebook, Id give anything to be able to look back over my fathers life like that.
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#7
Some people use social media to try and validate their parenting or social lives, its a sign that they are weak and lacking confidence, unless its harmful (putting the kids at risk) then my advice is to just let them crack on in their own little circle-jerk...
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#8
We do our best, but she is vile

Latest thing. My partners sister in law is still trying to pretend to be friendly so she can see the children, and usually the mother and the kids will spend a few hours with them. This time my partner's brother was along too, who cannot stand the mother, so sister in law asked for the children just to be dropped off. Ten minutes later the 8 year old leaves her a voice message saying that his mum had told him she wasn't going to be there and that he was scared that this meant his dad was going to be, so could she reassure him that his dad wouldn't be there. It just sounded so directed - I don't have children but can't see an 8 year old making the leap that his auntie might try and force him to see his Dad, unless his mother voiced that fear first. He has seen his dad from a distance at a couple of school events and wasn't especially phased by it. My poor partner had to hear the voice message though as it's saved with the rest of the evidence now Sad
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#9
Fairly obvious what has happened here if i read it right. Mum of child cant be there as doesnt want to show as dont get on with your partners brother. This then presents a risk that your partner may see his son and speak to him as shes not there so gets 8 year old son to ring and say hes worried when really he is not but doing as his mum says
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#10
sister in law could hardly say to mum that she wasn't to come along as the brother hates her. Good parenting by mum would have been to ask sister in law if the dad would be there as she was worried, but guess she didn't want to look like that person. So she voiced her fears either directly to the children or to her boyfriend in front of them, and then got the child to ask his auntie. A good parent would have listened to the fears of their child and then taken the steps directly in asking the sister in law. Not making an 8 year old do your dirty work. This is behaviour she has demonstrated on a number of occasions now - I really hope my partner feels able to discuss this with CAFCASS when they do the Section 7
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