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Ex threatening to move away again
#1
Ex has just received the solicitors letter asking for costs.  She is now threatening to move away again, citing needing to earn more.  And saying she will pay the costs at £1 a week and give the £1 to son to give me. Also says the court order says were equal and it is my shared parental responsibility to pay half of all uniform and school lunches. I buy school shoes and my own uniform and paid £50 towards the extra items for secondary school but she reckons that's not half! (Depends how much you spend on school shoes!)
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#2
Hi Charlie,

She's relentless. Counter claim for full residency.

Enough is enough. The harm this is causing your son is incalculable. She is not worthy of caring for him when she is relentless in her pursuit of hurting you through you son.

We're here for you Charlie.
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#3
Thank you. £1 a week would take 50 years lol. Fed up with having to take legal advice as that's costing me money. Son only went back yesterday so she's probably filled his head with rubbish and scare tactics.

Anyone know what the next step is with costs? ie if she's saying she can't afford to pay more than £1 a week, does she have to disclose her income etc? Her H is on a good salary, they have two houses, but the one they own is in his name and the rented one in her name.
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#4
I expect you can enforce debt through civil courts and a bailiff will go round and collect it for you

Sounds harsh but it is highly likely u be going to go court again. Perhaps not if she got to pay you , will make her think twice. Regardless what you do she isnt going to stop being awkward
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#5
She would move out of spite. Don't understand why she emails me lying about her financial situation when I know she has a good income!
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#6
Assuming she is serious and it would be an internal relocation, one you would wish to oppose, it would help to start by reading the case law on these.

Here are two excellent articles to get you started on solid ground.

https://www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed158634

https://www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed168323

If her only reason is purely to slightly improve her financial position it is not the strongest of positions I think. A huge improvement that would arise form her being given permission to move would have more weight. Of importance will be where she would wish to move to (distance) and what that would mean on the ground in terms of the effect on the child's relationship with you, practicalities for arrangements taking into account the substantial time your child currently lives with you. This is assuming that all else is ok and planned, such as schooling, accommodation etc in the place she wishes to move to.

Her plain and demonstrable hostility to you child's relationship with you will be a very important ground in opposing this.

The court would basically have to weigh it all up, all the options, and decide which would serve the child best. to put it in a simple way.

If it becomes real, ie she make san application, we'll get right into it mate Wink
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#7
look into hiring a private investigator
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#8
The mere fact she is wanting to pay a £1 a week is showing how she is not taking this seriously and basically is take the p***. As above take her backside to civil court and enforce the debt, even if she was hard up a £1 a week is just pathetic and no one is going to find that acceptable, I would suspect she would have to provide a financial disclosure at court and she’ll only make herself look even more stupid. She clearly is out to get you and doesn’t care that your poor son is stuck in the middle, as above i would seriously consider full residency. You can easily evidence her behaviour, is it feasible for you to have your son full time?
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#9
Cheers all - cheers JamW - yes prepare for that if it comes to it. Cheers Astroman - yes it absolutely is taking the xxxx. It is very typical of her. Had a solicitors letter today as well (seems to have been written by her) - very long and going on and on about uniform costs, school lunches and school trips and how I am not fulfilling my equal parental responsibility as I haven't paid half when it is equal shared care blah blah.

This is after two emails politely saying I would prefer to continue as before (which is basically sharing uniform costs as I buy some things and she buys others) and paying half of additional new items for secondary school. She has increased the costs of uniform with every email/letter! By £100 this time and claiming I haven't paid half again.

She also doesn't agree with my proposal to both consent to school trips up to £200 and share the cost (which I didn't have to propose!) and wants carte blanche - ie an open cheque book with me paying half of any school trips she decides on (claiming it will be son's wishes) and which she can consent to whether I like it or not.

Shame it's in a solicitor's letter and not an email! As it would be good evidence.

Anyway she has found a sort of loophole in the court order. It says - for the avoidance of doubt the above arrangements are full shared care of the child, despite the imbalance of midweek school nights. And Judge told her we were equal.

So she is claiming as it's full shared care I should pay half of everything - as well as child support - which she wants increasing as it hasn't been increased for 11 years (that is true because I'm paying way more than the assessed rate).

So I've been onto to CMO this morning and thinking of getting an assessment and getting them to determine, by looking at the order - a) whether it is full shared care so I don't pay child support or b) whether I still pay child support due to the unequal midweek nights. I assume they will say it is the latter.

Anyway. Solicitor has said the £1 a week "isn't very fair" and if I want I could apply to court as LIP to ask for her income to be assessed. As suggested above.

So thinking about that. Because she is quite clever at hiding her income - has lots of things in her H's name only and is self employed and probably doesn't declare half of it. So she could produce documents that show she has more going out than coming in.
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#10
Play hardball with her, Charlie. Get a CMO assessment and stick to that. The consider additional costs (uniform, trips etc) on a receipted basis.

By giving her more than the required amount, all you are doing is giving her money to pay her solicitor to give you grief.
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