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Child Maint Financial Help
#1
Hi all again, I'll keep it brief and to the point for ease of answers.
  • Two kids, been through court 2 years ago- got court order for 1 night every other weekend, and a Thursday day alternate weeks. (shit right? but youngest was 1 at the time).
  • Kids now 4.5 and 3. I've been recently asking for 2 nights every other week and one night on off week (where I can pick up from school).
  • She ignores countless requests, even gives my daughter to her Mother on her 3rd birthday rather than me while she disappears for a couple nights. I begged weeks in advance to have and see them on birthdays/ bank holidays.
  • I pay £400 a month in child maint, never failed to pay (average income)
Question 1
- For about 7 months, I had a change of job where I couldn't see them on the alt weeks Thursday day as agreed (didn't stick to court order). She WILL use this against me if she can, do you think it'll be a major thing to go against me in court even though I'm now in a decent job again where I can and do get time off?


Question 2
- I want to withhold the cost (£200) of going to court AGAIN from her child maintenance...unwise? If so is there any way of making her pay for these constant inconveniences of time and money?

Question 3
- Is there any groups out there for dads where we meet up and talk about this shit and help each other in person? For three years i've suffered alone with serious anxiety leading up to picking them up, and depression when i'm not with them. I cant afford to see a therapist and its getting so exhausting. How can anyone have such a lack of empathy after a mutual break up?!

Question 4
-Drop offs and pick ups are done through the Grandmother. The ex refuses to talk to me. She uses the Grandmother as the second parent instead of me (when she's ill or otherwise occupied), never even asks me to take them even though i've constantly asked that she does. I have no parents, but am I not entitled to extra time as if they were going to see my parents?

Thanks!
Reply
#2
(08-30-2019, 11:58 AM)Peggy9 Wrote: Hi all again, I'll keep it brief and to the point for ease of answers.
  • Two kids, been through court 2 years ago- got court order for 1 night every other weekend, and a Thursday day alternate weeks. (shit right? but youngest was 1 at the time).
  • Kids now 4.5 and 3. I've been recently asking for 2 nights every other week and one night on off week (where I can pick up from school).
  • She ignores countless requests, even gives my daughter to her Mother on her 3rd birthday rather than me while she disappears for a couple nights. I begged weeks in advance to have and see them on birthdays/ bank holidays.
  • I pay £400 a month in child maint, never failed to pay (average income)
Question 1
- For about 7 months, I had a change of job where I couldn't see them on the alt weeks Thursday day as agreed (didn't stick to court order). She WILL use this against me if she can, do you think it'll be a major thing to go against me in court even though I'm now in a decent job again where I can and do get time off?


Question 2
- I want to withhold the cost (£200) of going to court AGAIN from her child maintenance...unwise? If so is there any way of making her pay for these constant inconveniences of time and money?

Question 3
- Is there any groups out there for dads where we meet up and talk about this shit and help each other in person? For three years i've suffered alone with serious anxiety leading up to picking them up, and depression when i'm not with them. I cant afford to see a therapist and its getting so exhausting. How can anyone have such a lack of empathy after a mutual break up?!

Question 4
-Drop offs and pick ups are done through the Grandmother. The ex refuses to talk to me. She uses the Grandmother as the second parent instead of me (when she's ill or otherwise occupied), never even asks me to take them even though i've constantly asked that she does. I have no parents, but am I not entitled to extra time as if they were going to see my parents?
If your avablibe then the child would be with you if you asked the courts, when the ex is not about. Now the children are older, you would get every other weekend Friday - Sunday, and up to half the school holidays.
Q1.
Contact is based on the avaliablity of you.
Q2.
You can not do that, but you can check with the court if you can get any reduction.
Q3.
Post what general area your in, and see if anyone else lives nearby.
Q4.
Grandparents have not rights, unless the child has been fostered or placed with them by a Court/Local Authroity.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#3
(08-30-2019, 11:58 AM)Peggy9 Wrote: Hi all again, I'll keep it brief and to the point for ease of answers.
  • Two kids, been through court 2 years ago- got court order for 1 night every other weekend, and a Thursday day alternate weeks. (shit right? but youngest was 1 at the time).
  • Kids now 4.5 and 3. I've been recently asking for 2 nights every other week and one night on off week (where I can pick up from school).
  • She ignores countless requests, even gives my daughter to her Mother on her 3rd birthday rather than me while she disappears for a couple nights. I begged weeks in advance to have and see them on birthdays/ bank holidays.
  • I pay £400 a month in child maint, never failed to pay (average income)
Question 1
- For about 7 months, I had a change of job where I couldn't see them on the alt weeks Thursday day as agreed (didn't stick to court order). She WILL use this against me if she can, do you think it'll be a major thing to go against me in court even though I'm now in a decent job again where I can and do get time off?


Question 2
- I want to withhold the cost (£200) of going to court AGAIN from her child maintenance...unwise? If so is there any way of making her pay for these constant inconveniences of time and money?

Question 3
- Is there any groups out there for dads where we meet up and talk about this shit and help each other in person? For three years i've suffered alone with serious anxiety leading up to picking them up, and depression when i'm not with them. I cant afford to see a therapist and its getting so exhausting. How can anyone have such a lack of empathy after a mutual break up?!

Question 4
-Drop offs and pick ups are done through the Grandmother. The ex refuses to talk to me. She uses the Grandmother as the second parent instead of me (when she's ill or otherwise occupied), never even asks me to take them even though i've constantly asked that she does. I have no parents, but am I not entitled to extra time as if they were going to see my parents?

Thanks!

Q3. Google Families need Fathers. They have monthly meetings in many locations nationwide.
Reply


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