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Daily Dad - sign up for some great, daily, positive philosophical tips
#1
Free, no adverts or anything, have found it to be pretty useful - just go here: http://dailydad.com to sign up.

Today's email is pretty useful for anyone with hate in their hearts right now:

Quote:“One of the greatest things a father can do for his children,” the Howard W. Hunter, the former president of the Mormon Church once said, “is to love their mother.” Now we can grant that our notions of what a family is has expanded since he made that remark, likely beyond what he was remotely comfortable with. We have single families. We have divorced families. We have trans families. We have blended families and co-parenting families. We have gay families and even poly families. 

But the truth of the sentiment doesn’t change--in fact, it only expands. The best thing you can do for your kids is love the person who brought them into this world. The best thing you can do for your kids is love the person you are parenting them with.

Because in doing this, you are creating a powerful example for your son or daughter. You are making your home feel safe and kind. You are showing them what a good relationship looks like, what happiness looks like. Even if you are no longer with their mother, or if their mother has deeply hurt or even betrayed you, you must love their mother. No child benefits from seeing their father dislike--let alone feel hate--towards the person responsible for 50% of their DNA. No child benefits from seeing their mother forgotten, ignored, or under-appreciated. 

Love their mother and you teach your kids. Love their mother and you make them feel love. It’s the greatest thing to do. 
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#2
Cheers Tamogoto - wise words. No hate in my heart right now just sheer frustration at being constantly poked by a big stick and then whacked over the head with it.
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#3
I fully applaud and understand the sentiment, logic of thought and it be completely the right place to be - but when you have given everything and more unconditionally for many years and then have been properly shafted and constantly lied too, reaching a point of almost complete destruction by someone who cares not a jot to anyone other than to herself - then I accept I have some way to go before I could ever get there.

I know Tamago that you have managed to find a middle ground with your ex and some inner peace after years of hell at the extreme end of the scale which is to your credit and must be a huge benefit to your children Whilst i think I'm very forgiving, we are all wired differently and even after a period of time, litigation and court free in the future, I don't think I have it in me now. 

It's not 'hate' it's just now an enormous dislike which is the only protection I can give myself. I don't hate rattlesnakes either and whilst having no desire to have  children with them, the Ex has a similar mindset and movements - so I keep a safe distance from them as well !

I'm not suggesting otherwise but I'm not thinking as I haven't got to that place of motherly love then I must of failed or be deficient in some way. I've just taken too much from an ex wife and mother who is as nasty, uncaring and deceitful today as she was when she started her affair and then left over a year ago.
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