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Can I still see my son if my ex doesn't want me to?
#1
I'm in the UK

Hi all

So long story short, my ex is controlling my life completely, deciding what I do on what days. We have split time with my son, who I have been an amazing dad for since he was born 5 years ago!

I've been dating someone for 6 months or so and it's pretty serious. But I have my son 3-4 days a week and my ex will never let her meet him. 

I know when he's with me, she has no say on who I introduce him to, so long as it doesn't harm him.

But if I did introduce her, and she found out, she'd stop me from seeing him completely.

Lets say I told my ex I'm going to introduce them and she'll be around him 1-2 days a week. She says "well no or you're not seeing him. And I don't trust you so while you and her a thing, you're not seeing him". Is there anything I can do?
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#2
Hi

As the law stands it’s more that the rights are with the child to maintain a relationship with both parents.

You seem to be quite clued up about what will happen if you try to introduce your new partner to your son: she may well stop your current arrangement of split care for your son.  It happens often when a new partner is around.  If this does happen then your first step would be to contact your ex in writing (via letter or email) to try to resolve the situation.  If she just ignores this or replies negatively then your next step would be to arrange an appointment with a Mediator, who will contact your ex and ask them to attend a mediation session to try to work out an agreement.  If she doesn’t want to attend mediation, then the mediator can sign off the appropriate page in the C100 form so that you can apply to the Family Court for a Child Arrangement Order.

That’s the general process, but, of course, things can get very complicated in the Family Court if there are any allegations made by your ex. While you are having 3-4 days a week access to your son, make sure that you keep a diary of all the days he spends with you, and anything that shows how he spends his time with you. It may come in handy later if you do ever have to go to Family Court.
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#3
Thanks guys, booked in for mediation on Monday Smile she has of course refused to go.

She now wants to change his school and get him baptised. But I've read it requires my consent since I'm on his birth certificate.

Any way I can stop her from doing so? He's fine at the school he's in, doing really well. She's doing it out of spite and to save 5 mins of driving 3 days a week Sad
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#4
(09-04-2019, 01:07 PM)ryemck Wrote: Thanks guys, booked in for mediation on Monday Smile she has of course refused to go.

She now wants to change his school and get him baptised. But I've read it requires my consent since I'm on his birth certificate.

Any way I can stop her from doing so? He's fine at the school he's in, doing really well. She's doing it out of spite and to save 5 mins of driving 3 days a week Sad

As far as the law is concerned, your both on the same legal standing until a CAO is made.

All that changes then, is you out rank her in the time the child is with you.

The only lawfull way for your ex to stop the child meeting your new partner, is by Prohibited Steps Order.
To get this , she would need to evidance she is a risk to the child.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#5
OK great Smile

So basically I need to get this contact order in place, then I can start doing whatever I want (so long as it doesn't harm him ofc)

Just worried it takes months for this court order to be made. And by then she could have changed his school, stopped me from seeing him and claimed child allowance Sad

Anything I can do in the mean-time?
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#6
I had this in the early days. Ex refusing to allow my partner to be involved and threatening to stop contact. Waited a year and then saw a solicitor who said - do it anyway - your decision. If she stops contact you apply to court and you’ll get it back again within 4 weeks via an interim order. In the end she backed down when I said I would go to court. Still ended up in court a few years later though.

I would take this one step at a time. Keep very careful records of when your child is with you so she can’t deny it was 3 or 4 days a week. Make sure everything is in writing - either text or email as that can be used as evidence. Particularly her threats to move etc. If she has threatened to move and declined mediation then get your C100 into court for child arrangements and prohibited steps to prevent mother changing chikd’s School. What you ask for in your application is very important. I would suggest asking for 50/50 shared care as now. Which is why you need clear evidence when he comes now. How far away is new school?
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