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Parental Alienation
#1
Dear all dads,
I have been to see me son today at contact centre. Due to false allegations I see him 2 hours a week till we do find a fact hearing so I can clear my name. My son is 4 . Alienation started when children mother took the children away from me. They left family home to live with her parents an hour away from me. I reported this to children services and CAFCASS but it was ignored. CAFCASS officer mentioned something in section 7 report that my son told him that I heart his mum and he knew this because his mum told him. There were no comment from CAFCASS officer whatsoever. The officer gets on the phone to me when ex makes new allegations even in contact centre.
Today my son told me that his mum said it isn’t safe to live with me and I did x y z etc. I am really concerned about this as every day I hear something new. If I report this to children services it will be ignored. If I report it to CAFCASS they will refer it to children services and will be ignored.

What are my options? I can make a video of my child saying stuff but I was told this would be counted as evidence.
Thanks
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#2
Don't make a video. I had advice from a very good barrister that in 30 years of court experience, he'd never seen one go well when presented the court. Courts HATE anything that might seem like kids being coerced into giving evidence.

Keep reporting to children's services. They might seem like they are ignoring it but it's building a record which can be useful later.

Which hearing is next? The DRA? What recommendations did the S7 make ?
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#3
CAFCASS didn’t make any recommendation but suggested finding a fact hearing. I am waiting since February for that date from the court. Ex seems to get away with manipulating the child. I’ve read a lot that alienation is a serious matter and should be dealt with urgently. It should take 10 minutes for an expert to interview the child to find out what has fed to him though.
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#4
Parental aliention is very tricky to prove in courts, without expert psychologist reports. Everything I have read suggests not using the terminology directly but showing things like "manipulation" of the child or coersion of the child into doing/saying something. And it's still hard to show evidence of that. I think the best option is, in any statements or applications, to honestly and carefully describe your concerns about the child, and avoid saying the Mother is doing xyz or Cafcass see you as being negative about the Mother. Describe any changes in child's behaviour - when they were normally loving and happy but became strange and rejected you etc after being at their Mothers, but became normal and happy again as the week-end went on etc. It all needs to be child focused and about how things are affecting the child.
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#5
Can I ask an expert to asses the child and report back to court? I can’t allow this to happen knowing my child is being manipulated and turned against me. I’d like to bring this up in court . I know social services and children services won’t do anything and won’t support me in court. Children services ignored it already and backed the mother so I need an independent expert who my ex doesn’t get a chance to poison.
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#6
The advice I was given 18 months ago was to ask the court for psychologists reports on both parents. I didn't go this route - it is extremely expensive. I focused, after advice, on getting a really good defined order, to ensure son was with me regularly and was less exposed to this alienating stuff - and it stopped - for a while - partly because she hadn't managed to achieve stopping him coming. Everything regarding court depends on clear evidence, not hearsay. They will expect a Mother to make allegations and a Father to claim parental alienation - hence your fact finding where it will be weighed up who says what. In the absence of clear paper evidence it is very hard to claim parental alienation. It can be turned against you into - well it must be something about the Father that is making the children like this. That kind of thing. The other danger is (a bit mind blowing)that anyone who claims Parental alienation must be an alienator! Because that is the kind of thing alienators do. So ultimately they don't know who is telling the truth without hard evidence. Psychologists reports are evidence that is a higher professional level than Cafcass and a court will follow what a psychologist advises. But that type of scenario is usually when it has become extreme and a child is screaming and kicking and refusing to go and saying they hate you. The low level insidious stuff is harder to prove.

Ok so I think it's positive that Cafcass have suggested a fact finding hearing. That suggests they do suspect the Mother is saying these things to the child. Do have evidence to disprove any allegations she is making against you?

I would advise having some legal advice before the fact finding. From what I understand a fact finding basically comes down to who a court believes - and some ex's can be convincing in court. Main thing is to show no anger or frustration (or you'll be labelled as "possibly aggressive"). Be calm, look and sound like the reasonable one.

What are her allegations? Is she claiming she had to leave quickly because of your behaviour or something? ie going the route of painting you as the abusive one?
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#7
Hi Charlie, for the last 11 months I had supervised contact 2 hours a week in a contact centre so in reality who has more chance to manipulate the child. The fact that my son goes to school and nursery saying I did horrible things to his mother shows that he has been manipulated and alienated against me. I just need some expert to prove it. As explained earlier on CAFCASS picked up on this but there was no comments as why mother doing so.
Fact finding hearing is just for me to clear my name. Ex made tens of false allegations against me . There was none from my side. She did make it up that she flew the house from domestic via lance but this was all planned by her and her family. Allegations are from kidnapping child to rape in marriage etc. When she left she went to the police and created a monster of me and told them what a horrible person I was from start the relationship. I went to the police station voluntarily and interviewed. Case was closed and mother was referred to her doctor for mental health assessment. She does have mental health issue and it is genetic and runs in her family.
I went for full custody of both children due her mental health issue and now her physical illness ( she has some sort of blood cancer). It may sound horrible but children are better of with me growing up in a normal family .

I have witnesses and lots of love letters and evidence to support she is lying. There is a letter to me few weeks before break up saying how wonderful I was and how happy she was and what she would do without me etc. Witnesses will be coming to court to give evidence. Ex has nothing but herself and all lies she told the court. Police disclosures came in my favour so all good.
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#8
If child is 4 then can I suggest something that I found out. When mine started school I found it got a lot easier [evidence gathering], having made considerable effort to be involved in the school and communicate often, the school have pulled me in a couple of times to tell me theyve noticed strange behaviour from child regarding what Mums been saying. Im pretty certain if/when we go back to court the school will [back me up] by stating the facts they've told me.

I also record all conversations I have with head mistress, just for reference.
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#9
I had advice from my solicitor that there isn't anything we can do as yet. We will have to first get over fact finding hearing which I had to wait 9 months then we can raise this. Surely this isn't acceptable? I think it's time to switch solicitors.

I cant allow this alienation to carry on. My son goes to school I hope that school pick it up and do something about it. I am sure ex has poisoned the school already and created this monster of me . She is a convincing liar and always plays victim
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