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Here we go again....
#1
I have detailed the court order that has been in place since Feb of this year, working well and also flexibly to suit both of us. Under the order is a letter I received from the EW lawyer yesterday obviously wanting to change things up to only suit the EW, I have numbered the 3 paragraphs I'm about to ask questions about:

1 - our flexible approach to football on a sat morning has been that, when I can, I would pick up our son on a Friday night or Sat morning if available (on some dates I would get my Mum or partner to pick him up), but it was never set in stone. I have suggested that to make things easier I just get our son on the Friday night going forward, allowing her to make plans in advance, this was rejected and now on the basis of the letter its clearly all about her needs. Do I offer the Friday night once again?? or what's my best approach

2 - Why does my EW consider a court order not necessary?

3 - again this is only to suit her, at no point was I ever offered an equal share on holidays....I also work 5 days per week and while I'm happy to take annual leave to cover holidays I'm tempted to ask for every Tuesday night also which would take us to 50/50 (I know she will knock this back as it was only every about money but with the new Child Scotland Bill being introduced in September where they are looking for the starting point to be 50/50 shared parenting I might chance my arm)

The date on the email to my previous Lawyer was 22nd August, but I only received it yesterday, is there a time scale for replying and any other thoughts on how I go about this diplomatically.......as sometimes my fingers reply before my brain engages

Thanks


The sheriff, on joint motion, of consent, grants the pursuer contact on a 4 weekly cycle as follows commencing 18 February 2019:-
  • week 1 - Monday after school until Wednesday at the start of school
  • week 2 - Saturday at times to be mutually agreed between parties until Tuesday at the start of school
  • week 3 - Monday after school until Wednesday at the start of school
  • week 4 - Saturday at times to be mutually agreed between parties until Tuesday at the start of school; thereafter sists the cause for further negotiations and for settlement
     
    We refer to the above and to the ongoing court action. We note that the case last called on 11 February 2019 and your client was found entitled to interim contact on a four weekly cycle. The case was then sisted for further negotiations and possible settlement.
     
    Our client has confirmed that since the case last called, contact has been operating and the parties have been communicating much more effectively. We understand that despite the court order there has been some flexibility in relation to the contact arrangements.
     

  1. We understand that on the weeks your client is due to have contact at the weekends, namely, weeks 2 and 4, the pick-up times are often varied which impacts on our client's plans. We understand that XXXXX sometimes has a football game on a Saturday. On the weekends that XXXXX is due to be with your client and he does not have football our client would propose that your client collect XXXXX at 9.30am. If it is a weekend when your client is due contact and XXXXX has a football game our client would ask that your client take XXXXX to his football game. The times for XXXXX's football games vary so our client would suggest that your client collect XXXXX around 45 minutes before his football.
     
  2. Our client considers that XXXXX does benefit from the flexible nature of contact. It is her view that a court order is not necessary. However, if your client considers that an order is necessary then she would propose that the current order form the basis of a final order, in relation to week to week contact.
     

  3. In relation to school holidays, we understand that our client works Monday to Thursday each week. She proposes that parties spend equal time with XXXXX during the holidays, meaning that all holidays are split.  She  would  propose  that  XXXXX  stay  with  your  client  on  a  Monday   and  a  Tuesday. If child-care is required on those days then your client would be responsible for arranging this. XXXXX will remain in our client's care on a Wednesday and Thursday. Similarly, if child-care is required on those days then our client would be responsible for arranging this. The weekend arrangements would operate as usual.
     

    In relation to Christmas, our client proposes that your client's usual contact is suspended. Our client suggests that Christmas is rotated on a year about basis so that one year one parent has contact with XXXXX over Christmas and the following year they have XXXXX at New Year
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#2
The above looks very reasonable to be fair. Only thing is to query is about xmas . Unless they going to give u xmas this year . Might be worth sharing xmas..for example either parent has child from 3 -4 pm xmas day so you both enjoy xmas separately . One would have xmas eve and other one christmas day

You already have court order as well and her solicitor seems ok and it does seem you are communicating well and can understand why she wouldnt want to do another court order.

You may get friday nights if you went to back court every other weekend i guess but would be from school
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#3
(10-09-2019, 08:28 AM)warwickshire1 Wrote: The above looks very reasonable to be fair. Only thing is to query is about xmas . Unless they going to give u xmas this year . Might be worth sharing xmas..for example either parent has child from 3 -4 pm  xmas day so you both enjoy xmas separately . One would have xmas eve and other one christmas day

You already have court order as well and her solicitor seems ok and it does seem you are communicating well and can understand why she wouldnt want to do another court order.

You may get friday nights if you went to back court every other weekend i guess  but would be from school

Thank you - I will be looking to firm up exact xmas detail, I had our son last xmas so I do agree with an alternating process

He has football training every Wednesday and Friday so pick up on a Friday would only ever be after training, as she insisted that she would remain responsible for his football
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#4
Just a casual observation (and of course I might have read it wrong) but item 1 states client says pick up time often vary and impacts her ability to make other plans but then offers you to pick up at various times .... surely you should have a set time so both parties can plan ahead fairly otherwise if footy isn't on til say 2pm you'd not be collecting until 1.15
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#5
(10-09-2019, 03:09 PM)MikesWife Wrote: Just a casual observation (and of course I might have read it wrong) but item 1 states client says pick up time often vary and impacts her ability to make other plans but then offers you to pick up at various times .... surely you should have a set time so both parties can plan ahead fairly otherwise if footy isn't on til say 2pm you'd not be collecting until 1.15

Exactly my thinking, this current order was at her request following child welfare report, and she's beginning to realise 2 nights at training followed with Sat football doesn't suit her now, to begin with I got 3 days notice to when I could collect, varying from 11:00 to 14:00.

That's why I had previously suggested to her that I would collect on a Friday night after his training, meaning Sat morning wasn't an issue for her, but she knocked that back

I just feel she's throwing out demands now
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#6
(10-10-2019, 09:42 AM)ad0612 Wrote:
(10-09-2019, 03:09 PM)MikesWife Wrote: Just a casual observation (and of course I might have read it wrong) but item 1 states client says pick up time often vary and impacts her ability to make other plans but then offers you to pick up at various times .... surely you should have a set time so both parties can plan ahead fairly otherwise if footy isn't on til say 2pm you'd not be collecting until 1.15

Exactly my thinking, this current order was at her request following child welfare report, and she's beginning to realise 2 nights at training followed with Sat football doesn't suit her now, to begin with I got 3 days notice to when I could collect, varying from 11:00 to 14:00.

That's why I had previously suggested to her that I would collect on a Friday night after his training, meaning Sat morning wasn't an issue for her, but she knocked that back

I just feel she's throwing out demands now

Remember to write everything assuming it may well end up being read by a court, a judge or her solicitor at least !

  
Maybe bounce it back to her along the lines of :

I understand your client may struggle to finalise plans with the current flexibility causing impact and wholly take that on board.  With this in mind, it sounds like we are in agreement for a fixed collect time of Xpm would be the best way forward.  I am sure this will also benefit xxx greatly as it will allow us to create a stable and predictable timetable for our son and overall achieve an agreement that works for all parties but importantly with xxx best interests at heart.
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