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Grandparents rights
#1
To cut a very long story short, my ex has 'banned' my parents from seeing my children due to a minor incident that happened nearly 7 years which has escalated over the years from a molehill to a mountain. My parents have not seen my children now for over 2 years now but because they do not live in the same part of the country they only visit me 2 or 3 times a year, but in the past when my ex find out that my parents have visited me and seen my children when they are present with me she has banned all contact not only with my parents but also with myself as well.

This is what lead me to apply for a child arrangements order which I wanted to include them in it. However, after going to court a few times there was nothing in the court order that mentions my parents at all. A cafcass report was done and although my parents were not present when the cafcass officer attended my house, she saw no reason why my parents could not see my children whilst they were with me, this was documented in section 7 of the report. Also at a previous court hearing when I had a barrister he also could not see any reason why my parents could not see my children as on both accounts they said that it was none of my ex's business who I had in my house when my children were with me.

In the last court hearing, my ex made it clear that she did not want my parents to have any contact whatsoever with my children and it was wise in the interim that I just have contact with my children first and then hopefully my parents can start seeing them. As I said, there is no mention about my parents seeing or not being able to see my parents which seems to leaves things up in the air and unfinished business.

My parents are desperate to see my children as being in their late 70's they get very upset not being able to see them as you can imagine. My solicitor has said that they need to apply for a separate child arrangements order but they are reluctant to spend hundreds, if not thousands of pounds doing so just in order to see their own Grandchildren just because my ex says so. I can understand why because why should they have to spend all that money, and even if they did get a court order then the chances are my ex would make up an excuse why I cannot see my children if my parents were coming to see me.

My parents have seen the court order and which dates I will be having my children with me so what would happen if they turned up on my doorstep without me knowing (or I did know but pretended that I was unaware) when I have my children with me? It would definitely cause fireworks as my eldest knows (as she has been brainwashed by my ex) that if my parents made any contact whatsoever she would immediately text or call my ex straight away who would then be onto the phone to me ranting and raving and making all kinds of threats which I can do without. She may even come round to my house to pick them up as she doesn't live far away and could even call the police which I wouldn't put it past her to do.

As much as I would love my parents to see my children I am hoping that does not happen as I am sure that it would make things a lot worse and I could end up paying the consequences. 

Would I really have to turn my parents away after they have driven hundreds of miles to see me and my children and tell them they are not allowed to see them?  Surely that cannot be right, can it?
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#2
(12-29-2019, 07:43 PM)Secret-squirrel100 Wrote: To cut a very long story short, my ex has 'banned' my parents from seeing my children due to a minor incident that happened nearly 7 years which has escalated over the years from a molehill to a mountain. My parents have not seen my children now for over 2 years now but because they do not live in the same part of the country they only visit me 2 or 3 times a year, but in the past when my ex find out that my parents have visited me and seen my children when they are present with me she has banned all contact not only with my parents but also with myself as well.

This is what lead me to apply for a child arrangements order which I wanted to include them in it. However, after going to court a few times there was nothing in the court order that mentions my parents at all. A cafcass report was done and although my parents were not present when the cafcass officer attended my house, she saw no reason why my parents could not see my children whilst they were with me, this was documented in section 7 of the report. Also at a previous court hearing when I had a barrister he also could not see any reason why my parents could not see my children as on both accounts they said that it was none of my ex's business who I had in my house when my children were with me.

In the last court hearing, my ex made it clear that she did not want my parents to have any contact whatsoever with my children and it was wise in the interim that I just have contact with my children first and then hopefully my parents can start seeing them. As I said, there is no mention about my parents seeing or not being able to see my parents which seems to leaves things up in the air and unfinished business.

My parents are desperate to see my children as being in their late 70's they get very upset not being able to see them as you can imagine. My solicitor has said that they need to apply for a separate child arrangements order but they are reluctant to spend hundreds, if not thousands of pounds doing so just in order to see their own Grandchildren just because my ex says so. I can understand why because why should they have to spend all that money, and even if they did get a court order then the chances are my ex would make up an excuse why I cannot see my children if my parents were coming to see me.

My parents have seen the court order and which dates I will be having my children with me so what would happen if they turned up on my doorstep without me knowing (or I did know but pretended that I was unaware) when I have my children with me? It would definitely cause fireworks as my eldest knows (as she has been brainwashed by my ex) that if my parents made any contact whatsoever she would immediately text or call my ex straight away who would then be onto the phone to me ranting and raving and making all kinds of threats which I can do without. She may even come round to my house to pick them up as she doesn't live far away and could even call the police which I wouldn't put it past her to do.

As much as I would love my parents to see my children I am hoping that does not happen as I am sure that it would make things a lot worse and I could end up paying the consequences. 

Would I really have to turn my parents away after they have driven hundreds of miles to see me and my children and tell them they are not allowed to see them?  Surely that cannot be right, can it?

Unless the CAO states they can not be present, or any other Court Order exists, what you do and who you see in your contact time is nothing to do with the ex.

Under the law, assuming you have PR, you outrank her in the time the court has put the child in your care.

Her only way to stop anyone coming into contact with them, is to prove to a court that they are a risk to a child. Normally this would mean a "Sarahs Law" application on the person she wanted to stop. If this evidanced that they are a risk to a child, then she would be able to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order.

I am not sure they the Solicitor has suggested the grandparents getting a CAO, as they would only get one if
a, a Special Guardianship Order was in place
b, it could be evidanced that the grandparents placed an equal part in bringing up the children.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
Once you get a court order that specifies times when the kids are with you, then your ex has no control at all over what they do or who they see during that time unless there is something in the order specifically saying so. It's your decision and yours alone who they see: if your ex doesn’t like you seeing your parents during that time then that’s her problem. If she calls the police, then you show them the court order that says they’re in your care at that time and they’ll have no choice but to go away. If she chooses to break the order by refusing to give you the kids any time they are supposed to be with you then you make an application straight away to the court for enforcement of the court order.
Basically once you have the court order then you have the right to have your parents or anyone you like there every time you have your children. And if your solicitor really has said that your parents need to apply for a separate child arrangements order, it sounds like they are just trying to get some extra business for no good reason.
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