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This is the end of 2 year long case.
#11
Congrats Sean! That is amazing news and well deserved! You've done well putting up with the contact centre for so long, all of exes accusations and representing yourself. You should be proud of yourself. Enjoy the twins Smile
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#12
Well done Seans. Hope you had great Sunday.
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#13
Well done Sean S. I can tell you it isn't easy being at contact centre to see your children for so long. And also representing yourself all the way through the proceedings. Tou have done a great job and should be proud of yourself to get what you deserved.
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#14
(01-22-2020, 11:35 AM)SeanS Wrote: SO had the final hearing yesterday


After Finding of fact, section 7, spending 16 months at the contact center...

CAFCASS in their section 7 recommended this

a) there is no pattern of abusive behaviour from the father
b) No findings made of mother's concerns towards father of children welfare or capacity
c) Children contact to go ahead outside contact center 'immediately'
d) do not recommend DVPP for father based on Finding of fact
e) Children contact to build up gradually in community leading to 1 overnight stay, and 1 day of tea
f) MOther to be main resident and live-in with dad 


Mother asked for :

a) Court to recommend DVPP for dad !
b) father to continue at the contact center until father completes the course
c) After long conversation with CAFCASS, mother came around to contact build up but with pre-condition of DVPP !
d) Mother would agree an end state of only 1 night per week. Few special days and few holidays, thats it
e) Mother wants to be the main resident and accepts cafcass recommendation of live-in order for dad


Father (me) asked for :

a) Get the F out of contact center !
b) 3 nights per week, half the holidays, special days
c) During the course of the negotiation compromised one night over the weekend and, overnight on the day of weekday nursery pick up
d) Shared residence order


Judge said to the mother :

a) Contact MUST start in the community starting from this Sunday ! 
b) Dad is not the type of candidate for DVPP !
c) This is the kind of normal case where the norm is Dad gets 50-50 if he makes another application
d) What dad is asking whcih is 2 nights is absolute minimum 
(could hear mother gasping for breath at this time)
e) Interrupted mother when she was trying to say '2 nights is too much', judge quipped 'No it is not' 
f) Made a comment to the mother that mother fitted the pattern of most mothers who come to court asking for all the contact to themselves !

Final order :

a) I got 2 nights a week for start and made provision for dad to come back to court after mediation if I wanted more
b) all special days and festival days I asked for
d) Was out of time to talk about holidays, but I will wait for the order
d) No DVPP
e) Contact to begin this weekend
f) Mother got residence and I got live-in, but again made comment in the order that dad could come back asking for more time and shared residence order. 


I'm ecstatic and happy I couldn't sleep the whole night at the thought of having children home. I'm making preparations to welcome them this Sunday.

Seans

Amazing news mate, you are right to be delighted.  So pleased a rough jounrney has turned into a positive. 

Enjoy your kids mate  Big Grin
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#15
thanks you all the dads. I went to contact center to pick the children on Sunday ( 2 weeks of handovers at contact center followed by community). My children came running to me when they saw and I was almost in tears ( the last time I was in tears is when I met them at the contact center 16 months ago). Children started playing with me ( they are 2 year 6 months) and I had to tell them that 'we are going home'...children repeated after me 'home' :-)

Drove them in my car, which was all new to them, took them home where I had plenty of toys stocked up and food. They wouldn't stop going 'daddy' all the time. Had a video chat with my family back home. Got me emotional again when my time was up and children would say 'No mommy' lol. Can't wait to see them again tomorrow - I have few play / craft activities ready for them.

I intend to write a short summary of my journey, good times bad times alike, so that it might be useful for fellow dads. Thank you everyone who supported me here all the way through.
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#16
Congrats! well done for keeping with it, if you can do 50/50 then go for it fella
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#17
That’s just wonderful to read SeanS  - well done   Smile
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#18
Congratulations! That is fantastic and a special moment. Your ex is a mean xxx to prevent the kids spending time with their Father.
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#19
Well done mate, great result. Wish all magistrate's and Judges had the same thinking as yours!
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#20
(01-29-2020, 09:57 PM)andynumpty Wrote: Well done mate, great result. Wish all magistrate's and Judges had the same thinking as yours!

Yes agree credit to the Judge, but the Ex made judge' job so easy by keep piling up on the allegations to the extent that in the end judge saw that as just waffling. From what I can reflect back Ex tried to bite way more than she could chew and she made her position untenable. Furthermore all the agencies who were involved (children services, health visitor, contact center, CAFCASS, nursery) never had any concerns about me as a father, whatsmore they saw me as a loving father. To top it all I had spent 16 months at the contact center never missed a session except when my dad died at Christmas. From my part I also prepared a final statement with exact evidence with timelines as to how my contact was stopped at family home 2 days after mediation was failed due to financial disagreements and how all the allegations came to the fore after the mediation. 

All of that put together, I could clearly see judge had made up their mind even before the proceedings began on the final hearing. Thankfully I had the same judge all the way from directions, finding of fact, more directions and final hearing. CAFCASS told me that judge is VERY AWARE of this case. The final hearing was allocated 3 hours, Judge wasn't bothered to look thru another 50 page document ex created for the hearing. He said to her 'unless you are telling me something new which I'm prepared to listen, I won't bother looking at that bundle'

as the saying goes, Ex had the watch but I had the time ( patience)...Ex had long rope (unsubstantiated allegations) to hang herself and I just watched her getting roasted by the judge.

The most important thing I said in my statement after spelling out Ex's spiteful behavior with evidence that 'despite all what I consider the facts of mother's spiteful act, I would make no claims against the mother as the children need both parents playing active and constructive roles in their lives'...Obviously i felt that statement genuinely as I genuinely care about my children who still so very young...I believe this would have lingered on Judge's mind too as they probably saw me as someone willing to move forward despite the fact that I was shafted in all these months and years.
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