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opinions is she messing with child's head
#1
my child is in my care has been for two years court order in place contact twice a week
for around 4 months ex has been asking child questions she has to be supervised on contact recently  i had a unexpected stay in hospital and allowed her to sleep at grans during that stay i tried contacting her to take child to a relative she ignored calls msgs etc this caused me more stress in hospital in the end i rang ss who have no involvement anymore they rang her to take child to relatives ,after that child said she slept on couch at grans and mam was on the other end when she woke ,the rest where in bed (this is unsupervised) contact days she is always late back ,on 5 occasions she said infront of child .child wants to sleep at hers grans
really child has said nothing to me up until recently when she says it infront of child couple mins after its forgotten even got child at one point to lie and say it was childs idea now its someone else is sleeping to this is to encourage the idea ,bottom line is i dont trust her child would be on couch while they drank till 5am one time she slept and she never even got that right there's no effort on contact took to grans that's it activities dont happen furthest child goes is charity shop 1 min walk and sends her back here with pure tat but obviously i dont convey that to child if it was pure and simple sleep at grans in a bed and mum wasnt there i say yes no problem give the women an inch she wants a yard
no she texting me unsuitable times saying its not good for child how about stop putting stuff in child's head
i asked one day hows that making you feel child ( SAD DAD WISH SHE LEAVE ME ALONE) 
and she wants to discuss contact arrangement (this was set by the court)
OPINIONS PLEASE
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#2
Suggest trying to stay calm - not easy I know. Main thing is you see your child regularly and show her normality. Don't get her caught up in the middle of parents talking about the other parent. Yes your ex is interfering in your parenting and claiming the child wants xyz. I can't quite work out all the scenarios you mentioned. What does your court order actually say? You say contact twice a week. Is that staying overnight contact? Does she come for a full week-end?

Why do you think your ex is suddenly saying contact should be supervised? Does she have genuine concerns about anything? This can often happen when the Dad has a new partner and the Mother doesn't like it. Or if you share a house eg. Assume it's not particularly amicable so you can't discuss it with her?

If you want to sort this out and can't discuss it with her, then you could try sending a BIFF email. (Brief informative, friendly, formal - as if writing to a business colleague). This is an approach to get agreement on something, but also documents what is happening (evidence) if you ever need to go to court again. Avoid getting into any arguments, or hostilities in email or text - it can also be used as evidence against you. You said at the end of your post that she wants to discuss contact, so that's a start.

So something like

"Dear Ex Name

I am writing to clarify a few matters with regards to our daughters care, and to request that the times in the court order that daughter comes to me are followed. While I am happy to be flexible over times on occasion, this needs to be agreed in advance between us. I see no reason for the arrangements to change. Due to my recent spell in hospital I arranged for her to stay with her gran when she was in my care and consider this to be a perfectly suitable arrangement. I hope we can agree that the court order will be followed. If there is some disagreement over the current schedule for our daughter's care, then I suggest we discuss this at mediation. Please let me know your thoughts.

Regards, you"

No-one can argue that that isn't reasonable and it shows that she isn't keeping to the court order (which could be useful). Could it be that your ex genuinely has anxiety about knowing where daughter is, if you were in hospital. If things had been going fine for a couple of years then something must have changed (and does she have a new partner?!).

Next stage, if you can't sort it out, is mediation. That costs money. If she won't go or things can't be agreed, you get signed off and can apply to court for variation (if you want to). There will then be another opportunity for agreements to be reached at first hearing.

I would try and sort this out if you can. When one side feels offended and angry it can lead to arguments. Clearly you feel angry that she is messing about. It's difficult when we know things are fine and it's private and she reads something into things because she wants to control everything. It sounds like a lack of trust as well.
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#3
court order says she is to be supervised nothing about overnights i keep handover with no conversation child says mam wants you a minute she says child wants sleepover i never reply court order is child to remain in fathers care ,yes arrangements should stay as is not deviate from whats set out
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#4
Sorry I wasn't clear. So the court order says supervised contact. When you say twice a week but not overnight, is that tea times then? I am a bit confused. Are you saying ex WANTS child to have overnights but you can't do them because they need to be supervised?
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#5
Child lives with dad and court order states supervised contact only for mother as I understand it Charlie.

Tdci, supervised contact, whether for dad or mum, is usually a temporary situation/restriction. Unless there is serious continuing risk of harm from mother to child then you can expect that she will have overnight stays. Of course it is up to her make an application to move things forward and to convince the court, unless there are ongoing proceedings?

From what you say the child must be at least 3-4 years old?

If you have serious concerns, you will be able to present them to court and Cafcass if/when she applies for overnights. But they would have to be of a serious nature for the court to refuse overnights.
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#6
Cheers. Sorry about that. Ok so she lives with you and has supervised with ex. So just ignore ex and stick to what you think is best. If your ex wants to discuss increased time then she can invite you to mediation. I don’t think increased time sounds like a good idea if she is pressurising child.

Gran can visit at your house.
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