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Children going to my ex's ex's house?
#1
I have just collected my children from their mother's. They informed me that they went to their half brother's dad's house because she was working. She's an NHS worker and I work in education. I don't really have an issue with them going there in general but it was at the weekend and she knew I was home as I'd volunteered to have them if needed, then I feel she's put them, herself and myself at unnecessary risk. I feel this is especially selfish and flouting government guidelines whereby children are only supposed to move between birth parents house/those with PR. The man caring for them does not really know them and is not in their lives. What would the hive mind advise? I think she's trying to bait me into an argument and I'm hoping this is a one off occurrence, if it isn't then what should I do? There's no point going to court because by the time it's seen by a judge, this might all be over. Children's service acknowledge that it goes against guidance and is extremely unusual/inappropriate, but doesn't constitute a safeguarding risk as far as they're concerned. I already know if I text her she'll say their half brother is already moving between houses then it doeant matter that my children moved between 3 households rather than 2. Feeling sad, worried and anxious ?
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#2
I have now found out my children have gone there again and she is planning to make it a regular thing. Can she do this, as far as I'm aware it's breaking regulations?
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#3
unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it. Resident parents seemingly can do what they like and dads with spends time with orders have to follow the rules or risk not seeing kids for a long time.

Hope you are seeing kids
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#4
Yup. If it’s her weekend with kids she can leave them with who she likes. Under these circumstances with virus situation it’s not great - and yes they should only be moving between parents homes. She is bending the rules because half brother is actually moving between parents homes! And your kids are in her care. NHS workers also seem to have a different set of rules I find. They are at risk son they minimise all other risks (on my experience of ex and another family member).

The biggest risk is probably from your ex work and her ex more at risk than the kids I’d think.

Even so can see your concern and it is unusual. No you don’t want to get into arguments- you could try making polite negotiations but I think her argument would be as kids are with her it is also their family time to spend with their half brother, and they wouldn’t have that if they came to you when she is working. She would probably also argue that as she is working she can leave kids with “family” but not grandparents. And that is her only option to keep all the kids together. Logical but insensitive.

Also asking if you are still getting to see them as usual. If not that is a different matter.
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#5
I'm still seeing them as usual. She is now sending them to her exes every Monday even though I'm off. I sent an amicable text reminding her that I'm off and free to have the children. My other concern is that they then don't do their work on a Monday but then have to do twice the work with me on a Tuesday., but it seems that once again I'm powerless to do anything unless she becomes reasonable
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#6
Again there is nothing you can do. However its meant to be fun seeing your children and I wouldn't be doing twice the work because they missed Monday. I would personally just do the usual work you would do. Its very hard for children to learn at home and likewise for parents.
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#7
I was just going to do the Tuesday work but my eldest gets very emotional about it, he is worried that his mum will make him catch up on his own so he'd rather do it with me so he understands it {I'm a teacher)
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