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Covid 19 Shenanigans
#1
Have had issues with ex partner recently. I'm sure there are others in same boat. Haven't seen the kids almost two months. The mum says she is fearful for the children's health and hers. She states she is an at risk person but also says her and the children are symptom free. Still will not let me pick them up and have them at mine. Won't even permit phone or video calls. Ignores my communications for weeks. Had order in place which she has breached numerous times. I'm trying every avenue to avoid going back to court but feel like I'm being left with no choice. My question... Is there any point or will the court say if believes the children are at risk she is allowed to stop all contact?
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#2
Judicial guidance below. If she feels she is at risk, via the children picking it up when with you and passing it back, that will be accepted as a unilateral variation to the order due to the circumstances. However if the kids are staying in one home, then she should be allowing a lot of phone/video contact (see the info in the link). You could link it to her and say that if she is keeping the children at hers "for now" then legal decision is that the children must have regular phone and video contact with the other parent, for their best interests, and you ask that this takes place 6pm every Monday Friday for at least 15 minutes with text messages etc in between. You also would like to spend half an hour one day a week by video call assisting with the kids online schoolwork.

If she says no, ignores, or this doesn't happen then you have evidence for court that she is taking advantage of the situation. The problem is, however careful you are at your house, even if you work from home, don't go out and get everything delivered, she will never be reassured that your home is as safe from virus contamination as hers - with general hygiene etc. People have different degrees of precaution and don't trust anyone else in these circumstances. For example we disinfect tins of food when they're delivered and quarantine parcels that are delivered for a few days. Other members of my family go to the supermarket and don't disinfect anything. Different levels of risk.

Because of the circumstances, any parent can say they think the kids should stay in one home to avoid risk of spread of the disease and it would be accepted. But they must make sure the other parent has regular contact by phone/video. She will say she can't make them or somethng which is why you want to ask for something formal, as above, at a set time and day, so it is then her responsibility to make sure the kids do what she tells them to do - and make a routine for them. And she can't just say "they were busy".

I hope she sees sense. Don't mention court yet, but the formality of your request might suggest to her that you will take it further if she doesn't allow it. I am on the verge. I am getting some infrequent contact with my son via Whatsapp but I think she tries to stop him. If it doesn't improve I will ask for something more formal.

Unfortunately either parent can make a unilateral decision under the current circumstances and it is seen as a legal variation of the order due to the serious circumstances. It's better if you can agree something. But it's not reasonable to make a unilateral decision to keep them at hers and not allow any phone or video contact. If she refuses that on paper I would be tempted to ask the court for the children to remain with you and have phone contact with her. But they might say no to that unless you can show that your lifestyle protects the kids from contracting the virus as well.

https://www.judiciary.uk/announcements/c...nt-orders/
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#3
(05-04-2020, 09:28 PM)RD84 Wrote: Have had issues with ex partner recently. I'm sure there are others in same boat. Haven't seen the kids almost two months. The mum says she is fearful for the children's health and hers. She states she is an at risk person but also says her and the children are symptom free. Still will not let me pick them up and have them at mine. Won't even permit phone or video calls. Ignores my communications for weeks. Had order in place which she has breached numerous times. I'm trying every avenue to avoid going back to court but feel like I'm being left with no choice. My question... Is there any point or will the court say if believes the children are at risk she is allowed to stop all contact?

I would wait until Thursday  and watch the review from boris johnson. Next day i would contact your ex and say you would like contact re - instated.  You could also say you would like your child to ring you within 24 hours .

If you dont hear nothing apply for enforcement at family  courts. You will have to wait at least 5 weeks before hearing.
Your ex is acted out of malice and used the covid situation to prevent contact. At moment there is no guarantee if you dont when she will let you see your child.

You could mention in email that numbers have dropped significantly and we are over the worst phase
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#4
(05-05-2020, 07:40 AM)warwickshire1 Wrote:
(05-04-2020, 09:28 PM)RD84 Wrote: Have had issues with ex partner recently. I'm sure there are others in same boat. Haven't seen the kids almost two months. The mum says she is fearful for the children's health and hers. She states she is an at risk person but also says her and the children are symptom free. Still will not let me pick them up and have them at mine. Won't even permit phone or video calls. Ignores my communications for weeks. Had order in place which she has breached numerous times. I'm trying every avenue to avoid going back to court but feel like I'm being left with no choice. My question... Is there any point or will the court say if believes the children are at risk she is allowed to stop all contact?

I would wait until Thursday  and watch the review from boris johnson. Next day i would contact your ex and say you would like contact re - instated.  You could also say you would like your child to ring you within 24 hours .

If you dont hear nothing apply for enforcement at family  courts. You will have to wait at least 5 weeks before hearing.
Your ex is acted out of malice and used the covid situation to prevent contact. At moment there is no guarantee if you dont when she will let you see your child.

You could mention in email that numbers have dropped significantly and we are over the worst phase

Sunday we find out off Boris btw.
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#5
I have been tested today so I'm hoping if that comes back negative she will potentially reconsider. But i have very realistic expectations about the liklihood. Ha ha. I'm keeping things civil and logging everything so if it does result in court proceedings they'll see exactly what's going on. Thanks for all your advice. ?
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#6
(05-06-2020, 04:51 PM)Tom_W88 Wrote:
(05-05-2020, 07:40 AM)warwickshire1 Wrote:
(05-04-2020, 09:28 PM)RD84 Wrote: Have had issues with ex partner recently. I'm sure there are others in same boat. Haven't seen the kids almost two months. The mum says she is fearful for the children's health and hers. She states she is an at risk person but also says her and the children are symptom free. Still will not let me pick them up and have them at mine. Won't even permit phone or video calls. Ignores my communications for weeks. Had order in place which she has breached numerous times. I'm trying every avenue to avoid going back to court but feel like I'm being left with no choice. My question... Is there any point or will the court say if believes the children are at risk she is allowed to stop all contact?

I would wait until Thursday  and watch the review from boris johnson. Next day i would contact your ex and say you would like contact re - instated.  You could also say you would like your child to ring you within 24 hours .

If you dont hear nothing apply for enforcement at family  courts. You will have to wait at least 5 weeks before hearing.
Your ex is acted out of malice and used the covid situation to prevent contact. At moment there is no guarantee if you dont when she will let you see your child.

You could mention in email that numbers have dropped significantly and we are over the worst phase

Sunday we find out off Boris btw.

Yes I see that earlier that's it sunday now . making us all stay in weekend as bank holiday Sad
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#7
Just out of interest how did you get tested?
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#8
in the same boat here. I have very little contact with our child already. I was half expecting the ex to pull this move. I know the court (even if it was operating ) would side with her, so didnt see any point in fighting it. The court has sided with mum from day 1 on account of excellent acting skills. Mum plays it perfect by saying " child has asthma, so high risk. You can have more phone calls" . Always helpful. Making it look like she is flexible and supportive. One problem for me is, even if i phoned every 2nd day there is nothing to talk about as mum wont let the child out of the house the whole time and she hasnt done much to talk about.
There must be thousands of mums taking advantage of this situation and breaking contact to separate dads more.
my thoughts for the other dads suffering
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#9
Could you send little YouTube clips ? That’s what I’m doing (and son is when he gets chance) . Keeps contact and shows you’re thinking about him - gets round the nothing to say/not being allowed to say much thing.
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#10
Going through same thing here although I stopped it first. No joke when I first heard of this virus in March - I thought it would take half the planet out. In May now we can clearly see looking at the death data that just isn't the case. UK Government have scared everyone to pieces though.
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