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PR, maintenance and general help
I'd really appreciate some help from someone in the know.

I am the father of 9 week old twin boys yet have separated from the mother.

She is refusing me access to the boys yet they are not registered yet because of COVID-19 so I don't have PR (yet).

I am wary that the mother won't grant me PR yet she is asking for maintenance payments.

I am happy to pay maintenence yet don't want to go through CSA. I'm happy for them to calculate what I pay her and set up my own standing order but don't want to pay them a percentage for collecting the money - yet I think this will be the mother's preference, more out of spite. I've a few questions:

1) Can I apply for PR before they are registered?
2) Can I start the process of meditation before they are registered?
3) If the mother asks CSA to collect the payments, will her income be affected and do I have a say in us not getting CSA to collect the money?
4) Do I have any legal rights now to see my children?

Thanks in advance!
HI, sorry you are going thru some difficult times. Father of the twins myself here.

I can comment on the CSA and others perhaps can comment too..

CSA won't collect it unless you want them to or the paying parent refuses to pay. You can opt to pay 'directly' to the receiving parent's bank account the same amount calculated by the CSA.

Since the children are too little this poses a bit of challenge. However I know sadly the trouble starts at the early days of children's birth from my own experience, some mothers turn nasty and spiteful in some cases due to all the hormones still playing up ! As much as it is painful you might consider being gentle and handle things delicately. To the question of PR, you are right COVID is affecting everyone, however as PR is an important record to have, you might want to make CSA payments contingent on getting the PR ! Technically speaking that is true as well, as without PR what is the evidence that you are the father .

If the mother insists on CSA to collect the payments, that will affect her final amount she gets from yes...effectively both parties would lose some portion of the money.
I can help with some of this.

Pay child maintenance and pay it TODAY. Here's the link for calculating it yourself.

Do it now and don't let the Child Maintenance tw@!s get a foor in the door - they like nothing more than to think that all dads are deadbeats and to throw out some standard threatening letters.

Send your ex an mail after you have paid the first instalment (pay it through bank transfer) and tell her you will pay child maintenance monthly on pay day by bank transfer (calculating what you should pay from each monthly salary) and that the first payment has *already *been made. Leave it at that. She can be stupid enough to insist the money is collected from the CMA (or whatever they call themselves) but they will (in the end) take what you should be paying less their fees for doing so. So, yes she can be that ignorant/spiteful to insist the money is collected this way - but she will be literally taking food out of your kids' mouths.

No, her income will not be affected by child maintenance. What you pay is (meant to be) for the children and nothing to do with her.

I'll let others who are more clued up reply about the other matters you raise.


I've just seen the answer a voice from Sean S. I know he was half-joking, but if you start withholding maintenance now, it'll lead to bad feeling from her in the short term and that will only get worse down the road.
I pay maintenance each month for my two children. The mum is trying to say that I need to pay nursery fees for the days that I have them too. Is this right or is this convered in my maintenance?

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