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50:50 arrangement
#11
SB1353 i am not going to make any comments. The best thing to do is sleep on it. Traditionally when you receive a report it sends generally all dads into a very angry state and wanting to lose the plot. Give it a few days and read the report again and it will make a little more sense. I will comment then and am sure other members will as well
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#12
Thanks Warwickshire I’m angry but haven’t lost it. Just trying to digest what CAFCASS has recommended. And why they think it is in children best interest from seeing their father every week to every other weekend. They didn’t even follow their own welfare checklist.
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#13
When is your next hearing and is it an final contested hearing?
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#14
End of January and it’s another direction hearing. I think Judge wanted to see if we can agree on something. I’m not agreeing with CAFCASS for sure. What ex was telling my son was more than CAFCASS. I bet she is pleased that CAFCASS recommended less than their standard ever other weekend and midweek contact.
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#15
I would personally agree as long as it can start by next hearing. If you refuse it will be then a contested final hearing months later. You could agree on basis it starts straight away. contact would need to be phased anyway. Before you know it you will be having children from school friday and dropping them off on monday every other weekend.
Once contact is up to a lot more if anything was to happen where ex cant look after kids then its easier for them to give u temporary residency as well.

You could ask after 1st set of 6 weeks @ 1 night for it to be upped a night every 4 weeks after to speed things up. You will get half of the holidays as well. They also offered u midweek contact supper and play. if u moved closer that would be overnights. maybe consider in long run to live a lot closer
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#16
Do you really think it is fair after going through hell for last 28 months from going to police station due to falls allegations and fact finding and all lies ex told the court I accept less than minimum every father would get? I thought winning fact finding should favour me in court but CAFCASS is just recommend minimum to all regardless of circumstances.
Judge was reviewing ex medical report personally this month and if he find that mothers health issue in enabling her to care for children then he would let us know.
The problem is CAFCASS report is all over and officer didn’t follow their own welfare checklist.
I don’t think I will want to start this process all over again by going to court and asking for more later on. I want to move on with my life and enjoy having my children as often as I can. Trust me ex would do anything to stop that even though she is on hospital bed.
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#17
I agree to sleep in it. Progressing should be no less than you are getting now. So if you are seeing them every week end now it certainly shouldn’t be less for progression. What Cafcass have done basically is recommended the “standard” of every other weekend but a midweek tea time instead of overnight due to the distance.

Unfortunately they are hugely biased towards residency being with Mothers and will have the sympathy factor for your ex and her health. What they are doing is say - keep the status quo for the kids as now and contact with Dad.

That in itself is success after all this time but I totally agree that it is not an ideal outcome for you. I would let it go to final hearing and say it needs to be lives with both and with you modeeek.

I agree that if you moved closer it would be easier to have 50/50 with two consecutive midweek nights.

Personally I would want to argue for more than Cafcass are offering- particularly as - who are the staying with when you have a teatime? Grandparents? But it’s clear they are not wanting to transfer residence. No it isn’t fair but they don’t do fair - they do what is best for the kids (in their view).

You said yourself they missed their Mum. Ex is hostile towards you so amicable co parenting can’t happen. Therefore they need to live with someone who can regularly let them see their Mother (in their view) - assuming ex wouldn’t want you taking them to hospital etc.
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#18
I am sorry but you need to face reality. Cafcass havent really made bad suggestions. You are best to accept it and if mum faces complications its easy for you to have more contact.

Cafcass CANT advise any more than 2 weeks in 4 ( IMPOSSIBLE) , They cant advise anymore than 1/2 of holidays (IMPOSSIBLE) , They cant advise midweek overnight contact as its not workable as you live too far away, however they offered u pick up and supper/dinner instead 1 day a week. It is yourself that cant so midweek so that would make 50-50 impossible.

Stop fighting by all means questions small bits and just accept it, they arent against you if your ex falls unwell in 2022 for example kids will come into your care. you need to get contact built up fast and ignore ur ex . more contact easier to transfer residency if she is unwell

(12-24-2020, 06:57 PM)Charlie7000 Wrote: I agree to sleep in it.  Progressing should be no less than you are getting now.  So if you are seeing them every week end now it certainly shouldn’t be less for progression.  What Cafcass have done basically is recommended the “standard” of every other weekend but a midweek tea time instead of overnight due to the distance.

Unfortunately they are hugely biased towards residency being with Mothers and will have the sympathy factor for your ex and her health.  What they are doing is say - keep the status quo for the kids as now and contact with Dad.

That in itself is success after all this time but I totally agree that it is not an ideal outcome for you.  I would let it go to final hearing and say it needs to be lives with both and with you modeeek.

I agree that if you moved closer it would be easier to have 50/50 with two consecutive midweek nights.

You really dont want a final hearing that would be 3-4 month delay minimum to get the ball rolling which would mean more delays Charlie. He can accept cafcass recommendations and get ball rolling immediately

By all means try and change in my opinion after one overnight that it should be only 4 weeks before 2 nights and 4 weeks after for 3 nights saving 4 weeks if that makes sense and at same time judge may agree to that also
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