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Dazed and Confused
#1
Hi Guys
Was married for 12 years, have 2 sons - 9 and 7 and a joint mortgage.
My Wife petitioned me for divorce on October 27th - I had left the family home about 2 weeks prior (she threatened a bogus NMO to get me out.....Had some experience of this with her in the past!  I spent 16 hours in Croydon custody centre before and released without charge)

Chased the court last week as no sign of decree nisi, they had no record of either of us - turns out she was waiting for financial assistance to pay for the court costs.  Long story short, have been sitting at my folks for the last 4 months with nothing happening!

Am on part time hours now and my previously successful sideline business has been decimated by Covid.

She has her own beautician business and obviously can't work presently.

On second mortgage holiday, another 2 months left.  Can't afford to pay it without all my salary being wiped out.  Barclays assessed my income/expenditure as minus £800 a month.  Paying my folks a bit of housekeeping but need my own place for my boys, we are sharing one room at the moment and this is causing stress with my parents.

What would you recommend as first course of action?  Should I raise my own petition?  I have the boys between 2 and 3 nights a week but it's the financials I am worried about.  She has made it clear she won't leave the house - it's a 3 bed detached with about £360k equity so we could make 2x places from it.

Thanks Guys
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#2
(02-03-2021, 11:39 AM)jc22_uk Wrote: Hi Guys
Was married for 12 years, have 2 sons - 9 and 7 and a joint mortgage.
My Wife petitioned me for divorce on October 27th - I had left the family home about 2 weeks prior (she threatened a bogus NMO to get me out.....Had some experience of this with her in the past!  I spent 16 hours in Croydon custody centre before and released without charge)

Chased the court last week as no sign of decree nisi, they had no record of either of us - turns out she was waiting for financial assistance to pay for the court costs.  Long story short, have been sitting at my folks for the last 4 months with nothing happening!

Am on part time hours now and my previously successful sideline business has been decimated by Covid.

She has her own beautician business and obviously can't work presently.

On second mortgage holiday, another 2 months left.  Can't afford to pay it without all my salary being wiped out.  Barclays assessed my income/expenditure as minus £800 a month.  Paying my folks a bit of housekeeping but need my own place for my boys, we are sharing one room at the moment and this is causing stress with my parents.

What would you recommend as first course of action?  Should I raise my own petition?  I have the boys between 2 and 3 nights a week but it's the financials I am worried about.  She has made it clear she won't leave the house - it's a 3 bed detached with about £360k equity so we could make 2x places from it.

Thanks Guys

I would personally petition for divorce to get the ball rolling, as I hear court delays due to COVID-19 are massive.

It is a shame you moved out of the marital home. I would document all the the activities you do with the kids through photos and a diary to demonstrate that despite you not living in the family home, you are an active equal parent.

Finances are more tricky as it looks like your ex is trying to get all her ducks in a row. If finances goes to court, it will cost you both loads.

Get mediation sorted soon so you both know where you stand. If you both don't have honest solicitors involved, then they will make you both adversaries which will add time and money to the process.

Be strategic, non-emotional and focussed on the big picture - being an involved loving father in the lives' of your kids.
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