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I’m financially destroyed and frankly ready to check out
4 years of battling through the Scottish family law system at costs of £70k so far. I’m done. I’m fucking done. I despair at this rotten corrupt dysfunctional broken system that allows lawyers to prey on desperate parents unconditional love for their children.

If there had been a presumption of shared care at the start then we wouldn’t have been in this sorry state of affairs. There have NEVER EVER been any safeguarding issues or concerns as to why shared care couldn’t be implemented. The ex simply doesn’t want me in the children’s lives. End of

Instead I have been thrown into a cauldron of disgusting legal adversarial manoeuvres by lawyers and law firms, designed to divide & conquer both parents whilst raping us both off all our financial assets as I desperately battle to remain in my kids lives.

My ex wife has been carrying out a consistent course of parental alienation which has been highlighted as being “credible evidence” of such in the child welfare report, yet the sheriff refused to acknowledge this & told me “not to mention PA again to her”. My ex had changed my kids surnames, removed me from NOK at school, repeatedly blocked and limited my contact, breached numerous court orders with impunity, made up numerous ludicrous false allegations which are never formally reported or followed through on or investigated, phoned police multiple times for no justifiable reason, alienated my dying mother from seeing her grandchildren (mums now dead).

My ex wife has made my life a living hell to the point that I regularly contemplate suicide as the only way to cease this pain.

The courts do nothing. The politicians do nothing, media do nothing. Nobody cares. I’m in debt now to the tune of tens of thousands of pounds.

I tried to get the ex to negotiate on increasing my contact last year. She ignored all my attempts to contact her and instead she raised proceedings forcing me back in to court to protect the contact I had with the kids. This has now cost me a further £30k. Sheriff ordered me to do mediation (the Bill of which arrived today for £1700) where the mediators have done fuck all, (3hrs zoom mediation over two sessions)

I cannot take any more of this. My ex has abused me psychologically, mentally, emotionally and financially but the police state I have no grounds to take her through criminal courts for domestic abuse.

I’m done guys, I’m fucking done
I am so sorry. First thing I wanted to say is - please don’t ever contemplate suicide (although I fully understand the feelings). Because one day you’re kids will be adults. There is always hope then. I agree about the system. It needs a massive kick up the backside. Maybe more so in Scotland.

I have also spent my life savings and cannot afford another big case. I may have to self rep as no doubt I will be back in court. Did you have psychologist reports at any stage. As I understand it that is the only way to get solid evidence for PA leading to transfer of residence. It costs a fortune though. A case including psychologists reports can cost 50 to 70k. Very unfair on the targeted parent.

So are you seeing your kids at all? And how old are they? I feel for you. I am at a fairly crucial stage also - 13 year old and order not being followed.

The pandemic hasn’t helped - everything slowed up and on hold.

Yes it should be automatic shared care. That was being campaigned for in 2014 when the family justice review was being done but a bunch of women objected strongly (as I understand it) saying it would force kids to live with abusive Dads. Terrible argument- lumping all Dads as possibly abusive when abuse is a criminal offence and can be dealt with if it’s relevant.

I am not sure it would work with an alienating parent - they have an arsenal of weapons up their sleeve to disrupt any order. I have a shared care order but my ex just manipulates my child so it isn’t followed.

Not sure what you have instead of Cafcass but to me Cafcass is where the problem starts.

I have stopped using solicitors (who I find untrustworthy snd running up enormous bills) and have used a direct access barrister for a hearing instead.

All I can say is - hang in there. Your ex might be trying to get rid of you but I bet your kids still want to see you. Are you seeing them at all?

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