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final hearing done!
#1
so everyone if you read my previous thread sub; "first hearing done" you will know my case went straight for a final hearing. 

the past two years have been extremely difficult.  ive had accusations of domestic violence and abuse, ive had the ex insinuate that i had supposedly done things to my daughter who is 5.  i had cafcass investigate.  all this happened before my initial hearing.  thankfully everyone saw through my ex lies and the truth was simple in that i did none of anything she accused me of.  on the initial hearing that was all put to bed and as there was no S7 report needed the cafcass officer said she had zero concerns of the kids in my care and invited the courts to decide.

i wanted 50/50 shared live with order but more importantly a school change for my daughter to be closer to me and for my son to also attend the nursery next to my daughters new proposed school.  not one person gave me any confidence that i could get  school changed.  i was constantly told by anyone with a mouth basically that a school change is not looked upon favourably by the courts and the courts do not like to disrupt a childs learning.  so for me to try and get a school change during an academic term felt impossible.  But there was something in me which made me believe again in why i was fighting for this.  that if the courts really do what they say and have the interests of the children at thr front of their decision that i would want a justification as to why the school change and 50/50 was not possible.  when i spoke to my barrister she did say it would be extremely difficult as the kids are part way through the year and even then the courts rarely move childrens schools.  i believed in the reasons why it was necessary and the judge was there to be convinced.

i prepared all my facts and figures and presented my fight to the courts for my children.  if i was to get 50% the judge would then need to also grant the school change which was where the challenge stood.  if the school change was not granted i knew i would not be able to get the shared care.  

but

the facts and my pure fighting spirit and belief in doing this for my children paid off.  after 6 hours in a court 20th April 2021 i was granted everything i asked for.  i was granted 50/50 shared live with order so no more paying the ex £400 per month maintenance.  i was granted more importantly the school change for my daughter and my son to where i live! ive also got standard half holidays and the ex has had a very bitter pill to swallow.  i fought for my children and i won.

i have read alot on this forum and want to say a big thank you to everyone.  your stories have given me strength when i was down, i have not met or seen any of you but there are people in this forum who have given so much advise to people you are heros in my eyes and support people like me who where broken and supported my journey without even knowing it.

i will continue to always check in on this site and if anyone wishes to message me for anything or adivse or any questions please dont feel afraid to ask.  one thing i will say is always get your facts right, get your fight ready inside and keep a vision of the future in your mind the future being your children.  i would also recommend using a good barrister even though im not rich i had to fork out on a barrister that cost me £5k for the day but she tore my ex and her barrister a new A hole.  money well spent.

for now again thank you to those people who have given me strength i send you nothing but positive energy and love.

kind regards
from a dad who feels his worth again

stay strong
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#2
Congratulations brother!!! Sounds like justice was served. Really happy for you. Well done for not giving up in what you believe in. Your children are lucky to have a father like you and your efforts, determination and legal fees have certainly paid off and have no doubt changed your children’s future for the better.
A sign the biased family court system is slowly changing maybe? It did however sound like you kept your shit together which inevitably helped. It is unfortunately still the exception that a father gets 50\50.
Did you get get a solid final order drawn up as in holiday arrangements, hand over times, who keeps the passport etc? As gaps can often lead to further conflict and further proceedings down the road? Sorry don’t want to rain on your parade but this often catches people out.
Did she request permission to appeal during the final hearing? If not you should be good.
Was it heard before magistrates or a judge? I’m assuming the latter possibly due to the added complexity you were also requesting a change of school. If my assumptions are correct then you’ve done well as magistrates often don’t have the balls to go against the grain and more often than not providing no safeguarding issues go with the default lives with mother and every other weekend and a midweek overnight with father.
Respect brother....let the wounds of battle heal and enjoy the fruits of your labour.
I would like to echo your shout out to those on this forum. It’s a shame it has dried up somewhat of late but people’s willingness to help out other fathers in their time a need when they are fighting for what’s most important is truly mindblowing and touches my heart and restores my faith in humanity. The family court system is a cunt especially if you haven’t got shit loads of money to burn not too mention the huge anxiety of trying to second guess which way things will go.
Enjoy the new chapter in your life, all the best!
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#3
hi thank you for your post, indeed karma is a bitch. constantly being told by the ex she was primary carer and i would only get to see them every other weekend in her belief and that her being a teacher there would be no way i would get the school changed let alone mid way through a term. when the judge gave his verdict it was a world of emotions i even cried it was like i was free. my case was due to be heard at magistrates in February but then got delayed until 20th april so it went before a district judge, i didnt really know the difference but district judges carry alot more power. He was good to be fare even when he was concluding it took him like 20 mins of talking before he announced his decision and why he has done so. I was very passionate in court and when under cross examination from ex barrister i would speak directly to the judge with my answers, i think he liked that.

so yes when the judge announced decision ex wanted appeal as they thought the judge did not take into account some things. the judge basically looked at her barrister like a bag of shit at that point and said no appeal will be granted here as he has made the right decision. of course they could take it to an appeal panel but this is a district judge and their decisions are prity much final.

because of the things ive read in this forum i made sure the final order was solid! everything youve aid i have done so holidays are down to the day and times with rotation every year, ive got passport swap must be given 8 weeks prior to traveling along with 3 months notice if taking children abroad. if taking abroad details of holiday must be given to other parent, ive got special days in there like birthdays fathers day xmas etc again i put times in their to so it couldnt come back to me, with my son attending nursery near me now ive also put in their when the time comes he too will attend the new school my daughter is going to be going to just in case. The ex put in some wording about me being flexible to her days off with her being a teacher i took that right out, i said its my discretion but ultimately what has been agreed at court will be the final stance. ive put in the order if either parent needs cover for the children the other parent will get first priority as opposed to friends or family members,

the ex also wanted me to sign something saying i would not drink alcohol when im with my children because she thinks i have a problem which i dont, eitherway i refused it, the other funny one she wanted me to sign was an agreement saying i would not promote the children calling my new partner mummy which they do but again i refused and the judge said this is not something the court deals with.

one thing recently which did happen that i do understand the negative experiences that fathers have had with cafcass is, my children had been playing with real swords in the care of the ex (we are sikh but this does not mean you hand a 3 year old a blade) my son got a cut to his hand and i informed cafcass. they closed the case without even investigating or asking for pictures and said it was not life threatening as he did not need hospital treatment. i felt they where very reactive in their approach as opposed to being proactive to prevent injuries yet when there was abuse accusations with no evidence they was all over me like a tramp on hot chips. so i do feel for those father i know how messed up the system is. but again i cannot highlight it enough that your fight will take you through this and you must remain postive and strong throughout.

i agree has been abit quite on here recently but this is an amazing place to get insite. it has inspired me to help others in situations where parental alienation is in full force and to support those on their journeys to remain apart of their childrens lives.

the system is is slow especially in britain but i agree it is slowly changing and fathers are winning. that is something people all need to realise and find strength from. for me i believe i have done something magical when my back was against it all and one day when my children are old enough they will see the scars of my war and have no doubt that their father did everything he could to remain in their lives and succeeded (sorry for the movie like ending here) lol
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#4
Brilliant news and well done - your belief and tenacity shines through. Astro man found similar- he stayed strong in his belief that what he wanted for his son was the right thing. I have also had to tell a barrister I wanted something they said probably woukdn’t happen but as a result the barrister did push for what I wanted (an undertaking on that occasion).

Hopefully this forum will be less quiet as the pandemic eases and mods are seeking to improve some areas of admin.

It helped my case enormously too - couldn’t have done it without this forum. Yes the system is shit and some Judges are good and some aren’t. And a barrister can sway an iffy Judge. A confident, well prepared Dad can also do that. It is wrong that Dads have to fork out loads of money just to see their kids as they should. The system definitely needs an overhaul.

My bugbear are the moment is teenagers. Teenagers still need Dads. Cafcass and Mums are too keen to say they can decide for themselves but we all know this isn’t the case when there is an alienating parent with an agenda.
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#5
(05-03-2021, 10:25 AM)Charlie7000 Wrote: Brilliant news and well done - your belief and tenacity shines through.  Astro man found similar- he stayed strong in his belief that what he wanted for his son was the right thing.  I have also had to tell a barrister I wanted something they said probably woukdn’t happen but as a result the barrister did push for what I wanted (an undertaking on that occasion).

Hopefully this forum will be less quiet as the pandemic eases and mods are seeking to improve some areas of admin.

It helped my case enormously too - couldn’t have done it without this forum.  Yes the system is shit and some Judges are good and some aren’t.  And a barrister can sway an iffy Judge.  A confident, well prepared Dad can also do that.  It is wrong that Dads have to fork out loads of money just to see their kids as they should.  The system definitely needs an overhaul.

My bugbear are the moment is teenagers.  Teenagers still need Dads.  Cafcass and Mums are too keen to say they can decide for themselves but we all know this isn’t the case when there is an alienating parent with an ago
Yes not many admin on here these days apart from yourself
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