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anyone complain to a court
I was quite lucky one time nearly lost my licence speeding when I explain situation to police man he was very understanding. He could see why I was so stressed out. He actually said my driving was good, and I was slowing down in heavy traffic, but when road was clear my foot was down. I explained if I lost my licence I couldn't see my children, he mention train and I said she wouldn't meet me, I told him my court orders and said about text messages I could of showed him. In the end he just gave me a sturn talking too, and let me go phew. He could obvousily tell I was distressed by whole situation. Told me to stop at next services take a break and have some food. He was actually a decent copper and on my side.
It gets even better now, she making me pick them up and drop from her mum's which is even further FML, that court system for you a complete joke no wonder I have mental health issues! They seem to think it ok for me to do full journey.
Does she have a car? If so a court would probably expect her to meet you partway, if not halfway. And certainly not expect you to drive further to someone else’s house. Your ex is just making things difficult.
How much further does childrens nan live than their mum
She has a car but she said she can't drive to medical reasons, I know full well she can drive, she always taking kids out and travelling places. Her mum lives another 10 miles further that another 20 miles on my journey so 260 miles round trip. Apparently she sent the court all her doctors and medical records, so they used that as her evidence. I didn't go well for me, I had no way of defending my self. It cost me alot of money, and I seek a solicitor for advice just couldn't afford to represent me. I'm now in process off getting my CMS reduce for traveling costs, but everytime I do that, she stop me from seeing them again. It like a viscous circle as say this is 3rd time I took her to court. Seems to beat system everytime
(04-29-2021, 09:09 PM)civic4 Wrote: Has anyone complain to a court, if so what was the outcome.  Basically over xmas period from previous post, my ex decided to stop me seeing children because of lock down, right over xmas untill nearly end of March.   This effect my mental health badly put me in a bad place i wanted to give up, in the ended had professional help.  I also contacted a solicitor who told me to enforce court order, well that finally happened yesterday took nearly 4 months.  It cost me abit too, but i couldnt afford for a solicitor to represent me.  She then had her say and defense.  Basically she sent them lots of doctors notes and medical records which  of course im not aloud to see.  Just gave loads of negative stuff about me how i put the children at risk alot of things werent even true.  I was then hoping to defend my self afterwards.  I was then put on mute for 20 mins.   Then afterwards they come to a verdict, basically said we not taking any further action against my ex for not letting me see my children due to the uncertain situation at the time.   Due to all her so called medical issues, handovers will still take place at the mother house.  Which is a 240 mile round trip, but they must think that exceptable.  They also said to her contact between the children and there father is very important.   As parents we need to communicate better with one another, which is impossible as she just sent me abusive messages constantly.  Was already messaging me after court case winding me up.   I explained the journey made me tired and ill, and there been a few occasions i literally dosed off at wheel.  i also had accident going back home, luckily that wasnt my fault, but if i was more alert probably could of avoided it.   Do you think i would get anywhere complaining or they just side with the mother again.

Hi Civic4, hold out there, your not alone.  It will be the toughest thing you will ever do in your life but don't give up.

Like you I wasn't able to see my Children one Christmas and the ex had told them that I didn't want to see them.  It broke me waking up to an empty house with a Christmas tree and wrapped presents I had got all ready for the children.  

I'm not sure if this helps but it is from the Courts and Judiciary stating: - 

''where parents do not live in the same household, children under 18 can be moved between their parents homes'' during lockdown. 

Here is the link:-

Therefore the ex's reasoning would really have to be something solid to deny you contact.
  • Document all your communication and the requests to see the children in a daily diary.  Text messages can be used in court so respond as suggested above in other posts and they will show genuine reason. There are some software's that will put your text messages into pdf so you can print them and use them as evidence to court.  
  • Track your mileage by date and keep all your fuel receipts to use in court.  Hopefully you maybe able to get some reimbustment back?   
  • Document all your calls to the children by date and duration and keep requesting to speak with them on a regular basis.  Also pop the ex a text on a regular basis asking how the children are and if they are OK.
  • Seek some form of family support to show to the court how serious you are about your children and that you are prepared to work with professionals to find the best solutions for the children.  It carries a lot of weight.
The court systems are not fair and they never will be but that doesn't mean we have to roll over.  Trust me everything that you are feeling most fathers on here have or are going through the same thing and it's a ride from hell.  Usually it's our children that keeps us going.

Writing to the court, well I did and it did get some attention and made a few people jump.  I truly believe that I if I hadn't I wouldn't have got the results I did as the ex wanted me cut out from everything.  

All courts have an email system, write an email and attach a personal letter to your email outlining the concerns you have for your children's wellbeing and your views in regards to the difficulties you are facing during the interim period seeing them. Address it to the designated judge in your area and ask for their help.  What have you got to lose?  The court have a duty to reply in any case and it might just push your next hearing sooner?

Designated judges are the big cheeses at the court and generally oversee other judges.   Here's a link to a list of designated judges by area.  Look under family judges for your area: - 

One thing that I have learned throughout all my years of litigation and I've attended over 20 court hearings is that if you don't take action yourself you may as well just toss a coin.  

I did all the solicitors, barristers, and McKenzie friends and discovered that none of them truly projected what it was that I wanted to say and I would cringe when clear opportunities arose in a hearing that were being in my view missed by these so called professionals. They could 'talk the talk' but couldn't 'walk the walk'. 

I became a litigant in person and whist it is tough it is doable with a clear mind and focus. Having to cross examine your Ex is definably worth the role.  

As you know you don't really get the opportunity to say what you want in court as you can't talk if you are being represented. The courts, solicitors, and barristers will all try and deter you from sending in large position statements. 

My view is that your position statement is key to informing the court clearly of what your position is and trust me I've sent statements containing some 50 pages!  

Seriously, I found that I was treated with far more respect in court as a litigant in person than being represented and found that the judges took the time to explain certain things for your benefit as your not a lawyer.  This gave further opportunity to ask more questions and have more of a say.   I can tell you the other side don't like it because the judge's time is being focused more on you. 

Keep up the fight my friend, you will get through.
Thanks for the replys I keep fighting it ?

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