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She is moving house - can I vary the court order?
#1
Hi everyone, I hope all fellow dads are doing ok.

It seems the stress never ends with my ex!

I have a current child contact order in place.   It says, "The mother shall make the children available for collection at the following times:"  It does not mention an address.
I have done all the dropping off and collecting for the past 2 years.  She does drive and could do this.  
She had constantly threatened me with court if I am 2 mins late on collection or drop off and any other number of things and on my last visit, my children told me that she was filming me through the blinds (god only knows what goes through her head!)
I have spent the last 2 years on the back foot it feels.

She is moving home next week and I see this as an opportunity to change the collection/drop off point to a mutal location.  
I have suggested this to her and she has said, that If I dont collect them from her then I wont get to see my children.  I have so far relented as I just dont want to upset my children and I want to see them.

So, to my question:  

if the court order says "The mother shall make the children availble for collection at the following times:" 
She is moving and therefore wants to change the collection point to her new address even though she will not agree to a mutal meeting point - is she in breach of the court order if she insists that I collect the children from her new address? (she said that if I don't collect them then I won't get to see them and she will tell them that I have just not turned up).

Does anyone know my options?

Thank you
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#2
No, as mum is making children available to you albeit from her new home address

Also stop rising to stupid little threats she makes if you are 2 mins late. Courts would do absolutely nothing and she is clearly doing it on purpose to get a reaction and probably cause u unnecessary stress and anxiety
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#3
Thanks mate. Sometimes I just need to run this by someone.

Am I breaking the order by saying that I want to do the exchange in a mutual location?
Is it a reasonable request considering she is moving home, she drives etc?
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#4
(05-06-2021, 09:33 AM)Chester Copperpot Wrote: Thanks mate.    Sometimes I just need to run this by someone.

Am I breaking the order by saying that I want to do the exchange in a mutual location?
Is it a reasonable request considering she is moving home, she drives etc?

I think it is a reasonable request.

You may want to vary the a clause of the order to read: 

"the person with whom [name of child] shall live [ or spend time with] shall be responsible for picking her/him up from the other party (with whom she is currently living). For the avoidance of doubt, the mother shall be responsible for picking up [name of child] from the father's home and vice versa." 


This is a very reasonable request and would put the onus on arriving on time on the other party (i.e. the mother). The amount that you would save in fuel over a few months could more than easily justify the £215 cost of applying to vary your existing order.
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#5
I think they would expect you to have mediation over this. Which of course prinsbky wouldn’t work or she may not go. As circumstances have changed then there are grounds to vary re collections and drop offs. But your order should havd a clause that says something like “such further or other times as agreed between the parties “.

Basically all that is needed is an agreement in writing between you (email is fine) that as ex is moving to x location the collections and drop offs will be shared with Dad collecting one week and Mum dropping off the following week or whatever.

However she doesn’t sound like she wants to agree and the order says she makes available for collection - therefore you collect.

Is it much further away anf is it feasible? I just sucked it up (after some stressing) when my ex moved once and my journey was 45 minutes each way for 2 or 3 years. I made an event of it with son and we would stop off at a swing park on the way home or go out for tea on the way home.

But no she doesn’t have to do any drop offs or collections of residence is with her. All she has to do is make them available.

If it simply isn’t feasible then you’d prinsbky have to apply to vary and ask for changes to how collections and drop offs work. Would it be easier for you to and from school? As this is better anyway - seamless transition.
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