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Hello Rock, meet Hard Place. Ah! You're already aquainted I see!
#1
Hi guys.

I'll try to keep it short, because as we all know sh*t gets complicated very quickly when dealing with ex's, CAFCASS and the Family Courts etc...

Last time I was in court the magistrates granted an order that was exactly what I wanted (won't go into all the details) but ultimately it would have ended up with my daughter seeing me for overnight stays every fortnight.

That should have started in February last year.

But due to Covid and the contact centre (where handovers would take place) being shut, this has not happened.

A pandemic is obviously mitigating circumstances, so I can't apply for an enforcement order.

So I tried the zoom meeting option and asking my ex for updates via email about what's going on, how our daughter is developing, which school she'll be attending and also for zoom contact sessions and maybe a picture once a month.

Unfortunately none of that is in the court order so my ex isn't even replying to my texts or emails.

Even now the contact centre has reopened, it's been so long since I last visited they've closed my case file, so I'll have to apply for a place from scratch!

My ex isn't breaching the court order (because of covid) but she's not engaging with me for a work around solution (because the court order doesn't state she has to)

So what can I do!?
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#2
Tricky. I am not sure she had reasonable excuse to stop your daughter staying over with you every fortnight, just because the contact centres were closed. So you could have enforced and had the order amended to allow for the circumstances - different pick up place eg. The best option now might be to apply to vary saying ex has witheld daughter due to the changeover location being closed and is refusing video contact with daughter and you would like the order varied so there are alternative changeover locations, plus some additional time with daughter due to the long absence.
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#3
I've tried calling my ex, texting her and emailing but she's not replying to any of it.

I'm considering sending her a recorded delivery letter now!
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#4
Surely its as good as a breach as shes not made your daughter available. With contact centre been closed she should of just met you somewhere else instead
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#5
Court order says hand overs at the contact centre only.
(This was for my protection)

Nobody expected a pandemic at the time
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#6
I opted for handovers at places that had mad amounts of CCTV
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#7
I did suggest that, but then my ex said she wouldn't feel safe and accused me of being a violent alcoholic (again, despite this accusation being disproved at a previous hearing)

Then the whole thing went back to square 1 and I had to prove (once again) that I'm not a violent alcoholic.

I don't feel confident in how the UK deals with Family Law.
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#8
I circumvented the alcoholic accusation at my latest court case (I dont drink at all now) ...... so got to go for Psychological Risk Assessment ...

Yes ... they get you in any way they can.....
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#9
I'm sick and tired of having to go back to square 1 and disprove every crazy accusation she makes against me!

I told the magistrate I have actual evidence and witnesses I can provide to them that will confirm what I'm saying about her.

I get nothing.

Meanwhile the ex tells the court that when I was 17 and she was hanging out with me I got drunk and found a hedgehog in the middle of the road, which I picked up like a rugby ball and then gently deposited it in a hedge.

That was enough for me to be instructed to prove again that I'm not a drunk and for the council to come and check if I'm looking after my cat properly

I'm almost 40 now! The hell!?

Now don't have any money left to go back to court again.

Drained all my savings, sold everything I have of value ages ago.

I chose a hill to die on and maybe I have now.
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#10
Don’t go thinking about dying please. I think you need to put an enforcement application in. You just need to find £215. You have an order for contact and she is preventing it. The Judge can amend the order to change pick up location to a public place. They will see your ex is trying it on. If you were a violent alcoholic they wouldn’t have given you an order for staying contact. So on the enforcement application state that there are no welfare issues as determined by the court previously but Mrs Ex is preventing contact because the changeover location is unavailable. You can self rep snd get help on here.

Get some evidence first. Send the recorded letter- maje it very brief abd very polite and say you request she fulfills her obligations to comply with the order and allow your daughter to spend time with you as per the court order. Changeover can still take place at the contact centre even if it is closed and there is cctv outside it. )Check if there is! There might be).

You request a FaceTime meanwhile at x time on x day, provide your mobile number in the letter and say you will await the call. And you will be at the contact centre at x time on x date.

If you don’t get the call (likely) and she doesn’t show up at the contact centre (likely) then you put in your enforcement application, with the letter and anything else refusing contact as evidence and confirm that your daughter has still not been made available.
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