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Harassment?
#1
Hi all,
It has been a while that I’ve posted to this forum.
I have the children for summer holidays for 2 weeks which one week was at the begin and last one was at the end. It was all done in court order. It was Crystal clear where I pick them up and where to drop them off. However, on last day where they were due to be dropped off at their mothers, I had few messages through the app we use to communicate that I was meant to drop the children at 10 am. I didn’t see the messages till lunch time. I responded and told her the all was arranged through court order and she wasn’t having any of it. To cut the story short, I screenshot the court order and sent it to her.
Same time my 3 years old child told me that someone was at the door so when I went there I saw 2 police officers asking for me. Children saw that and they were scared so I asked officers to stay outside so I can talk to them. They said mother reported that I threatened to take the children abroad and same old lies to get the police out on me.
I told the officers that there is a child arrangement order in place and I wanted to show them that but officers didn’t want to see it. Anyway I showed it to the officers that they are not due till later on. They were satisfied that ex gave them wrong information. I told the ex if this to happen again I will report it as harassment.
My question is do I do that to stop her doing it to me and I am sure she will do it again?
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#2
No point reporting it as harassment . Its happened now . Hopefully she doesnt ring police again on you for something so trivial
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#3
Its actually an offence to use the police to harass someone.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#4
Police won't do anything if there is no evidence to support allegations of getting police to harass someone. It will just get logged and filed...
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#5
The evidence was the court order that was crystal clear stating children due to their mother by 6 on. The fact that she lied to the police that I may have taken the children abroad so they come to check is harassment
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#6
Birmingham police would say, can't log it here sir, you must log that complaint with the IOPC, the pretend independent commission who couldn't give a toss about misconduct and negligence unless after it gets exposed via media outlets.
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#7
(08-31-2021, 11:01 PM)Sb1353 Wrote: Hi all,
It has been a while that I’ve posted to this forum.
I have the children for summer holidays for 2 weeks which one week was at the begin and last one was at the end. It was all done in court order. It was Crystal clear where I pick them up and where to drop them off. However, on last day where they were due to be dropped off at their mothers, I had few messages through the app we use to communicate that I was meant to drop the children at 10 am. I didn’t see the messages till lunch time. I responded and told her the all was arranged through court order and she wasn’t having any of it. To cut the story short, I screenshot the court order and sent it to her.
Same time my 3 years old child told me that someone was at the door so when I went there I saw 2 police officers asking for me. Children saw that and they were scared so I asked officers to stay outside so I can talk to them. They said mother reported that I threatened to take the children abroad and same old lies to get the police out on me.
I told the officers that there is a child arrangement order in place and I wanted to show them that but officers didn’t want to see it. Anyway I showed it to the officers that they are not due till later on. They were satisfied that ex gave them wrong information. I told the ex if this to happen again I will report it as harassment.
My question is do I do that to stop her doing it to me and I am sure she will do it again?

I think it would be worth asking the Police to log the incident and explain your ex has made false allegations before (if that's the case) and you wish to have every incident logged to protect yourself.  And ask them for advice as to what to do if it happens again (they should give you advice on harrassment).  Ask them for a copy of the logged incident (you may not get it).  But be clear you would like it logged as if there are further incidents you may need to ask for a formal warning of harrassment.  They can sometimes be more amenable if you ask their advice.  But often don't do much.

So make a diary note yourself.  Of the day, date and time and what happened and email it to yourself.  Then if it happens again you have two incidents to go to the police with, one logged yourself (and they can check their records to see the dates and times tallied) and say you want them to do a formal warning.  That means they go round to see her and warn her that if she does any other such thing she could be prosecuted for harrassment.  That's sometimes enough to make it stop.  But if she does keep doing it then I absolutely would ask for prosecution for harrassment.  The formal warning needs to have been done first to have a prosecution.

Your ex is using the police to bully you and they can get quite heavy when a woman "in distress" claims something about children. And believe her. An example. When I first started seeing my partner, my ex called the Police on her! The Police turned up at partner's door out of the blue - two of them and were very heavy with her. She remained calm and said - I was expecting this - it's a disagreement between parents about custody and I'm just in the middle. And she stayed strong and said to the Police - so why would you come out here when someone hasn't done anything wrong - I consider that harrassment. The Police backed off then and were quite nervous and said - well if we're called we have to go and check. Partner broke up with me for a bit after that!

So roll on a bit and first time in court my ex claims partner has a police record. Because ex had reported her. We sent for her Police record and nothing on it. Not even logged. But that's presumably because partner was very clear she considered it harrassment - so they backed off.

So your ex is trying to get a police record on you. That may backfire on her. I get what you mean - make sure you ask the Police to log it down as harrassment of you. If they won't, make a diary note and next time say you want a formal warning of harrassment.
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#8
Thanks Charlie sounds advice I will call and log this for now and hoping it won’t happen again
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#9
I would back what Charlie said, you need the police on your side.

I had many a late night visit each and every time i had contact, calls of a child being assaulted were common.

I told the police they were harrasing me through my ex and made a official complaint to that. This was taken up by an inspector who agreed that the calls and accusations were malicious but they were duty bound to act on every call to a child in danger.

She was warned but continued to do it even to the point on each call the same cops came round and aid sorry were here again, i even knew them by name by this point. It all went into the court bundle that eventually resulted in a change of residence to me.
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