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No contact from pregnant ex
#1
Hi
I'm posting on behalf of my son as he is just distraught about his situation.  Him and his girlfriend broke up a couple of months ago and there's no way they are likely to get back together.  The baby is due in 2 weeks and his ex has cut off all means of contact with him.  He is anxious to have access, has said he will pay maintenance and would set up a parenting plan or go to Mediation.  She is very angry, thinking that he would get back together with her.  Is there any way he can find out when the baby is born and what can he do about arranging mediation etc if she has blocked all means of contact.  He wants his son to have a father and to play as big a part in his life as possible.  He's at his wits end and has even tried to get back together with her but it was a disaster.
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#2
(10-03-2016, 08:35 PM)PChattey Wrote: Hi
I'm posting on behalf of my son as he is just distraught about his situation.  Him and his girlfriend broke up a couple of months ago and there's no way they are likely to get back together.  The baby is due in 2 weeks and his ex has cut off all means of contact with him.  He is anxious to have access, has said he will pay maintenance and would set up a parenting plan or go to Mediation.  She is very angry, thinking that he would get back together with her.  Is there any way he can find out when the baby is born and what can he do about arranging mediation etc if she has blocked all means of contact.  He wants his son to have a father and to play as big a part in his life as possible.  He's at his wits end and has even tried to get back together with her but it was a disaster.

The Child has rights soon as its born, to see both parents unless a court decides there is a risk (for example Child Protection or Welfare Issues).

Your son will get to get PR to have any legal standing, and this can be either by his ex agreeing for him to be present to sign when the birth is registered, or he can apply to court. Should she claim hes not the farther, then it will go to DNA.

He then has responsibility's, in terms of providing for the child (what the law says he has to do form birth), and he is entitled to know once he has PR, what Doctors the child is registered with, and detail about any treatment being carried out (either at the Doctors or anywhere else), and once the child is older, he has a right to know what school (who normally will then email him newsletters, let him buy photos taking in school and he can have his own parents night appointment.

Once he has PR, he needs to go to Mediation to get contact, and only when he has a letter saying she did not show, or a "Deadlock" letter, can he apply to court.

Until a child is 2, the normal is none staying contact, of 4-6 hours per week, over 1 or 2 days.

From 2, its more like Friday till Sunday every 2 weeks, and up to half school holidays. Staying contact will lower child support payments.

Sometimes you can get more towards shared care, with midweek stays/visits.

Note that any money changing hands had no bearing on Child Arrangements, and no requirement for him to pay starts until the child is born, but there is also nothing wrong with offering money or items if he is able to

If you need any support yourself, then the Grandparents Association might be worth you contacting.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
(10-03-2016, 08:53 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(10-03-2016, 08:35 PM)PChattey Wrote: Hi
I'm posting on behalf of my son as he is just distraught about his situation.  Him and his girlfriend broke up a couple of months ago and there's no way they are likely to get back together.  The baby is due in 2 weeks and his ex has cut off all means of contact with him.  He is anxious to have access, has said he will pay maintenance and would set up a parenting plan or go to Mediation.  She is very angry, thinking that he would get back together with her.  Is there any way he can find out when the baby is born and what can he do about arranging mediation etc if she has blocked all means of contact.  He wants his son to have a father and to play as big a part in his life as possible.  He's at his wits end and has even tried to get back together with her but it was a disaster.

The Child has rights soon as its born, to see both parents unless a court decides there is a risk (for example Child Protection or Welfare Issues).

Your son will get to get PR to have any legal standing, and this can be either by his ex agreeing for him to be present to sign when the birth is registered, or he can apply to court. Should she claim hes not the farther, then it will go to DNA.

He then has responsibility's, in terms of providing for the child (what the law says he has to do form birth), and he is entitled to know once he has PR, what Doctors the child is registered with, and detail about any treatment being carried out (either at the Doctors or anywhere else), and once the child is older, he has a right to know what school (who normally will then email him newsletters, let him buy photos taking in school and he can have his own parents night appointment.

Once he has PR, he needs to go to Mediation to get contact, and only when he has a letter saying she did not show, or a "Deadlock" letter, can he apply to court.

Until a child is 2, the normal is none staying contact, of 4-6 hours per week, over 1 or 2 days.

From 2, its more like Friday till Sunday every 2 weeks, and up to half school holidays. Staying contact will lower child support payments.

Sometimes you can get more towards shared care, with midweek stays/visits.

Note that any money changing hands had no bearing on Child Arrangements, and no requirement for him to pay starts until the child is born, but there is also nothing wrong with offering money or items if he is able to

If you need any support yourself, then the Grandparents Association might be worth you contacting.

Thanks, that's so helpful and clears up a lot of questions.  Thanks for the Grandparents Association, I had no idea there was such a thing.  Thank you again, it's made everything a bit clearer.  Fingers crossed she can calm down a bit and they can sort something out.  She is so angry that he wants the child and not her - not something he envisaged 6 months ago.
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