Situation re holiday - what should i do

[mancuk29]

My 12yr old son is currently on two weeks holiday from school , when i discussed holiday care for my boy my ex a couple of weeks ago advised she was going away on holiday for a week - last Thursday 31st March.

I arranged to have my son for three days last week (Monday to Wednesday) on dropping him off on Wednesday my ex let it slip her mum was looking after him last Thursday , Friday and Saturday as she was working 
I asked why she was now not going on holiday on Thursday she said she never said that it was a Thursday departure and in fact was going Sunday - I asked to have my son for the extra three days and my ex refused saying her mum had arranged things, not to start an argument i just said fine

When my son was with me we set up a Skype account for his iMac (non portable) as he spoke to people on Minecraft, when i returned him on Wednesday i set up Skype - this was too fold so he could speak to his friends re Minecraft and also so i could speak to him as he ignores my texts , he said he would find it easier to speak to me on Skype as my ex would not know (she doesn't want him speaking to me on his mobile) 

Just to paint the picture , he has no access to Skype on anything but his iMac which is the desktop version , he can't add it to his mobile as he doesn't know the password for iCloud and also he doesn't know the password for Skype so even if my ex put Skype on her mobile he wouldn't be able to log in.

I asked on Wednesday if my ex and my son wanted a lift to the coach on Sunday  (my ex said she was going on a coach holiday) she refused despite the joining point being 20 miles away ... I gave my son some spending money and he gave me a kiss and i left him with my ex

On Sunday I was out with my mum and I noticed that my son was on Skype - i sent him a message and he said that he was playing on Minecraft ..... and asked if i was ok i replied asking when he was setting off on holiday and he didn't reply despite reading the message

Come forward to Sunday night , again he was on line , i messaged him and asked what he was up to and he replied saying he had been for a walk after the coach trip as it was a long journey and was settling down to watch the entertainment in the hotel.


There was no way he was on holiday (my ex said they were off to cornwall) i have his mac on find my iPhone and it was live , my ex always switches it off when my son is not using it ..... furthermore his iPhone was also shown at his home plus he only had Skype on his iMac.

I asked what they were up to today (as in monday) and he said they were going to exeter for a day ..... he said he was using skype on his mobile and was speaking to friends on Minecraft so had to go

I didn't let him knew I was aware he was at home and was telling porkies as he obviously was doing what my ex instructed him to .... I was tempted to drive down and confront my ex who in my opinion had lied to stop me having my son during half term however a few weeks ago she rang the police when she kicked off with me so i knew she would do it again. I said good night to my son and switched off my mobile

I was nearby my marital home where my ex and son live, so I called I was passing and there was no one in , checking on his iPhone (which i have on my iTunes account) he was on the m6 so i knew they obviously had gone this morning


My question is this 

Do i confront my ex re lying to me re going way yesterday and also the fact she had lied about going on thursday so i could only have him for 3 days 

Do I confront my ex for making my son lie and be deceitful to myself , if he hadn't made up such a story re his trip out today and his journey down yesterday i wouldn't be so annoyed

I am due at mediation initial meeting next Friday , is this something i need to raise or do i wait for our first meeting between my ex and myself ?

I know that my son is trying to keep his mum from nagging hence him lying to me , but he is 12 and should know better what do i do re my son do i say something or do i leave it to confront my ex only ?




Thank you in advance

[Norfolk n Good]

Bring it up in mediation, this would then be mentioned in mediation notes written after the event. Obviously there is little you can do about it now, and the ex's behaviour is rather selfish, but if your Son does what he needs to do to stop things "upsetting" his mum then creating a fuss could make things harder for him as he'll be more torn in respect of where his loyalties are.

I know it's pretty crap, but you have to expect the ex to lie on occasions, it's pretty much par for the course....I know mine does but I really can't be arsed to get into a row about it...life is way too short, and ultimately my daughter will see things for what they are.
When she does lie it just reminds me leaving her was the best thing I did.

[MarkR]

(04-05-2016, 08:19 AM)Norfolk n Good Wrote: Bring it up in mediation, this would then be mentioned in mediation notes written after the event. Obviously there is little you can do about it now, and the ex's behaviour is rather selfish, but if your Son does what he needs to do to stop things "upsetting" his mum then creating a fuss could make things harder for him as he'll be more torn in respect of where his loyalties are.

I know it's pretty crap, but you have to expect the ex to lie on occasions, it's pretty much par for the course....I know mine does but I really can't be arsed to get into a row about it...life is way too short, and ultimately my daughter will see things for what they are.
When she does lie it just reminds me leaving her was the best thing I did.

The courts do not like children being used to find out what is happening in the ex partners house.

The way to bring this up is that you agreed to arrangments based on her providing you will incorrect information. What she was doing during the time the child is with her does not come into this.

What I done to protect myself from my ex messing up my holiday arrangments, is as well as the normal half school holidays being on the order, its stated that in the summer holidays, there must be a period of at least 14 days together, to facilitate me being able to take them on holiday.