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What Happens If My Ex Keeps the Children Without My Consent?

By: Abigail Taylor - Updated: 26 Apr 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Child Abduction Parental Responsibility

The thought of your ex partner taking your children is the worst nightmare of many parents, and so if it happens, understandably it is a very emotional and stressful time. Many people turn to the police for help to return their children, but how much the police can help is very dependent upon your personal situation. If both parents have Parental Responsibility and one parent is keeping the children against the other's wishes, the police CANNOT help, even if the children do not normally live with them. However, if the parent does not have Parental Responsibility, the police will be able to intervene.

So what is Parental Responsibility?

The Children Act 1989 defines 'Parental Responsibility' as 'all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child'.In plain English, this means that you have responsibility to:

  • house the child
  • protect and maintain the child
  • make decisions about their education
  • name the child
  • consent to any medical treatment for the child

Mothers automatically have Parental Responsibility as they are listed on the child's birth certificate. A father will automatically have Parental Responsibility if he was married to the mother at the time of the birth or was listed on the birth certificate. Alternatively, both parents can sign a Parental Responsibility Agreement and register it with the courts, or more commonly, a father can apply to the courts for Parental Responsibility.

To apply to the courts, you will need to fill in form C1 found at Gov.UK - Forms and Guidance. A court fee of £215 is also payable though you may be able to get assistance with this if you receive benefits or have a low income.

But what if both parents have Parental Responsibility?

The father of my son has decided not to return my child. He has access every week, but we had an argument about what time he should return my child and he said he wasn't going to return him as he has parental responsibility and he has found out he can legally keep our son. I called the police, but they said they can do nothing about it as he is named on the birth certificate and therefore has PR. I am beside myself with worry. It has been four days now and my ex is still refusing to return him. My son is only four and has never been away from me longer than a day. I can't eat or sleep and I am beside myself with worry. I just want my little boy back.

If both parents have Parental Responsibility then the police cannot intervene to take the child off one parent and give them to the other; the police cannot choose between parents, that is the remit of the courts.

In this situation, if you are concerned about being able to see the children, or, if you think that the children should live with you, you can apply for a Child Arrangement Order.

Note: You may have heard about Contact Orders or Residence Orders. A Child Arrangement Order replaces these older orders but those with Contact or Residence Orders need not re-apply. Also confusingly often those in practice will still refer to (for example) obtaining a Residence Order when applying for a Child Arrangement Order.]

What is a Child Arrangement Order?

This court order determines where your child lives, which relatives they have contact with, and what type of contact (e.g. in person, phone calls, or letters). Anyone with Parental Responsibility can apply for an Order.

To apply to the courts, you will need to fill in form C100 found at Gov.UK - Forms and Guidance. A court fee of £215 is also payable though you may be able to get assistance with this if you receive benefits or have a low income.

I am a father of two children six and three. When I went round to pick them up last week I found my ex collapsed on the sofa through drink and drugs and her ex partner also high on drugs. My daughter and son were not dressed and my daughter's nappy had not been changed for hours and she was playing with food in the dog's bowl. I have heard they are not being fed or looked after properly and the Social Services are looking into this.

Ordinarily, the court will give notice of the hearing to both parties so that they can attend and give their side of the story. However if you think that your child / children may be in danger, then you may be able to apply for an emergency without notice hearing which will be much quicker than a full "with notice hearing". However be aware that this will only be a temporary solution and that any without notice hearing will be followed shortly after by a full "with notice" hearing in which the court order may be changed. If you are considering this option, seek professional advice or contact your local Citizens Advice Bureau for some free assistance.

If you can show that your former partner is not able or appropriate to look after your child / children, you may be able to get an order stating that the children should live with you. However you will need to evidence this.

Below are easy ways to obtain this evidence:

  • Take photographs of the condition of your children when you see them (e.g. unwashed / dirty clothes / dirty nappy)
  • Video or photograph your interaction with your former partner when going to collect your children, including any condition of their house as you can see it from areas into which you are invited / the doorway. However remember that you must not trespass into the property.
  • Take a witness with you when you go to try to collect the children (e.g. a family friend or if possible an independent person such as a local church minister).

Note that the courts are very unlikely to not award at least contact to a parent, even if they are inappropriate to look after a child. However this contact may be indirect, such as by letter, or supervised at a contact centre.

Remember that whilst the police cannot take a child away from a parent with Parental Responsibility, they are able to intervene and remove a child if there is a real risk to life. If you are concerned about a real and immediate threat to your child's safety, speak to your local police force and social services.

If you are unsure about your rights, speak to your local Citizens Advice Bureau who will be able to provide you with free assistance. The courts may be able to help, but this can be a lengthy process and you will need to evidence any concerns. It is therefore important to know your options before seeking a court order.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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[Add a Comment]
I had a x that cut all contract I don’t (blame her )after everyone found out the truth about her ??.i wouldn’t be able to show (my face )to .as for child it’s( mothers job )and to pay (not mine )don’t come looking for me I (disown you gods truth ).thanks ps remove surname please save me from the shame.
C laurie - 26-Apr-18 @ 10:12 PM
My friend is separated from his wife, 18 months separated. She has recently stopped him from seeing his youngest son(eldest two are grown up) she has cut all contact with my friend and his family, he can't ring her or text her. His son is now 12,i am wondering at what age, his son is able to make his own mind up about seeing his dad? If he says he wants to see his dad, can his mum refuse? Many thanks
Hawkeye - 26-Apr-18 @ 8:09 PM
birgit - Your Question:
My son lived with me for 5 years than I was in a abusive relationship for 3 month. social service gave my son to his dad. I sorted my live out now, moved away too. my ex promise me I can see my child, than changes his mind. And my child is upset.He lived with his dad for 1 year. 3 weeks ago my child told me his dad mother and brother hurt him. so I took him. Now he got a court order and I have to hand my child over today. Court hearing is Friday. My son wants to live with me. He wont even talk to his dad on the phone. His dad lied at the last hearing. I didn't know that there was a hearing.Can the court asked a 6 year old where he wants to live and how do I get my child back.

Our Response:
As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. This is regardless of the child's opinion and preference of where the child wishes to live.
SeparatedDads - 23-Apr-18 @ 11:34 AM
My son lived with me for 5 years than I was in a abusive relationship for 3 month. social service gave my son to his dad. I sorted my live out now, moved away too. my ex promise me I can see my child, than changes his mind. And my child is upset.He lived with his dad for 1 year. 3 weeks ago my child told me his dad mother and brother hurt him. so I took him. Now he got a court order and I have to hand my child over today. Court hearing is Friday. My son wants to live with me. He wont even talk to his dad on the phone. His dad lied at the last hearing. I didn't know that there was a hearing.Can the court asked a 6 year old where he wants to live and how do I get my child back.
birgit - 22-Apr-18 @ 12:35 PM
Hi my 12yr old son recently came to stay with me for a fortnight. He was currently under social services due to his mother needing to go on parental courses due to neglect. Social services told me as I have parental responsibility for him I can take him out of his house and put him in my care. But with him staying for 2 weeks with me he has told his mother he wants to live with me now and doesn't want to live with his mother. His mother has told me I need a court order to keep him is this correct as I don't want to send my son back to his mother against his wishes.
P - 5-Apr-18 @ 11:15 PM
Gee - Your Question:
My son is liveing with his partner and there 1year old she's saying he can't bring him to see his family they live at least 250 miles away he is on the birth certificate and dose most of the care for him can she stop him

Our Response:
Mediation should be the option where there is a disagreement that neither party can agree on, please see link here and here . Court is used as a last resort where mediation fails.
SeparatedDads - 5-Apr-18 @ 12:29 PM
Chavvie - Your Question:
Hi there while I was out fishing last month my wife sent me a txt message ending the marriage.we have a 4 year old son and she is refusing to let me see him.i have had no contact for 4 weeks not even a phone call.i have parental responsibility and if I go and take him as is my right not to keep but just so I can see him is there anything she can do to stop me.i know the police have no authority to take him from me as long as he is not in danger.

Our Response:
It's never the best idea to take such a decision as to take your child without the other parent's consent. Firstly, it may be distressing for your child, secondly it will give your ex ammunition to blow the story out of context in a court (should the matter end up in court). The link here and here will show you the correct process to take. If you go through the right process in all likelihood a court will grant you a contact order that your ex has to keep to. If you cannot afford legal representation, you can self-litigate, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 5-Apr-18 @ 11:05 AM
Hi there while i was out fishing last month my wife sent me a txt message ending the marriage.we have a 4 year old son and she is refusing to let me see him.i have had no contact for 4 weeks not even a phone call .i have parental responsibility and if i go and take him as is my right not to keep but just so i can see him is there anything she can do to stop me.i know the police have no authority to take him from me as long as he is not in danger .
Chavvie - 4-Apr-18 @ 1:35 PM
My son is liveing with his partner and there 1year old she's saying he can't bring him to see his family they live at least 250 miles away he is on the birth certificate and dose most of the care for him can she stop him
Gee - 3-Apr-18 @ 7:02 AM
Hi, my daughter lives with her mum and for the last 5 months has been showing clearly that she us upset and is not happy. Her mum has recently moved in with her new partner of 4 months and he has kids also but my daughter is the oldest by a long shot and is constantly getting verbal abuse from her mum and partner and they are constantly making up lies about myself to my daughter. She has made the comment today that she wants to live with me and since her mum heard the comment she is now saying that my daughter can't see me, if I was to drive down to my daughter and pick her up as im registered on her birth certificate can the police be called? Thanks
Daddy2316 - 31-Mar-18 @ 10:52 PM
Nicdee - Your Question:
My ex and I have shared order, 1 x week with Mum and 1 x dad. He's going away next week and my son 8 informed me that daddy's girlfriend is looking after him. I have emailed my ex- he denigrated me and confirmed this is what is happening. I am free to take care of my son- he says he will stay with his girlfriend! She is unknown to me, I have been advised not to return him and exercise my parental responsibility, as my ex cannot look after my son. I'm expecting trouble.

Our Response:
Much depends whether there is a court order in place. If you breach the court order, it will give your ex the option to refer the matter back to court. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 27-Mar-18 @ 12:31 PM
Mother13 - Your Question:
Hi , I'm looking for advice for my husband. His ex let's him have contact when it suits ( When she's not in a relationship or needs help ) She was in a domestically violent relationship which ended badly and with a non Mol put in place.My stepdaughter was witness to the abuse she's 6. Social service were involved etc. My husband has learnt his ex has moved without telling him , moved his daughters school and got back with her abusive ex. Given the history my husband is terrified for his daughters safety and we'll being. We have contacted social services etc. however my husband feels his ex isn't safeguarding their daughter and wants her in our care ASAP. Can he take her if he informs his ex , the police and social services he is doing so? She has been hit by both the ex and her partner in the past so it is not without good cause. Any help or advice would be appreciated. Thank you

Our Response:
If your husband has parental responsibility, then as highlighted in the article he can keep her without his ex's consent. However, it is never a good idea to take this route without consent unless absolutely necessary, as it can backfire or trust is lost. If your husband and his ex are on speaking terms then negotiation is the always the best way forward. If your husband takes his daughter without negotiation and/or consent, then he will have to be prepared to possibly go through a court case that may ensue as a result. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. Your husband may also wish to take some family law legal advice in order to explore his options before he makes any concrete decisions. He should also keep in contact with Social Services who can put action into motion if needed.
SeparatedDads - 23-Mar-18 @ 10:23 AM
BangingMyHead - Your Question:
Hi, please can you help and advise me on where I currently stand? I have 3 children, twin girls who are 18 and a son who is 15 and have now been divorced for over 8 years. At the time of the divorce, I was self employed and had a relatively good disposal income. Through advice from my solicitor, I put a consent order in place for £1,500 a month purely for child maintenance. As the years went by, my company went and I had to get a job. My income took quite a nose dive and my ex wife reluctantly agreed to accept less money. She has since remarried. Over the past 6 years, through open communication channels and with my income having less than halved, the monthly child support figure I pay her has gradually reduced down to £650. I have since remarried and I am expecting our first child at the end of June. There has been many ups and downs with my kids over the years that I won't bore you with, but have always contributed financially to their upkeep and well being as much as I can. My ex has been pushing for an increase for quite some time and is constantly lording the consent order over me, saying that she can take me to court for the difference between what I have paid and what the consent order states, going back for a period of 12 months. Please can you confirm the following;1. As my financial circumstances have changed significantly from those when the consent order was first put in place and she has agreed to a reduced figure, can this be upheld in a court?2. If I was to contact the child support agency myself today, will this supersede the consent order?3. With my new child due in June, at what point will the baby's arrival influence my child support payments? 4. One of the twins will be starting university in september. Will this mean she falls outside of any compulsory child support payments?Thank you in advance of any help

Our Response:
Firstly, any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If you have both agreed to the change in child maintenance payments because of a change in circumstances, the courts will take this into account. The court will assess why your ex did not apply for a breach of the order earlier. However, from your perspective any variation made to the court order should have been referred back to court. So, there remains a risk that the court could make an order for arrears to be paid. Although, this may be unlikely if you can prove you both agreed to the changes made and the reasons why these changes were made.2) If your consent order contained an agreed order for child maintenance and was made before March 3, 2003 you cannot opt out after 12 months and if your order was made after March 3, 2003 you can opt out and refer payment for CMS assessment. 3) Child maintenance ends in line with when child benefit does, please see link here , which shows you when payment ends (at A-Level or equivalent qualification course completion). You can also see more information here, on how child maintenance is worked out. In your case, give CMS Options a call - its advisers will give you free guidance.
SeparatedDads - 22-Mar-18 @ 2:07 PM
Hi , I'm looking for advice for my husband . His ex let's him have contact when it suits ( When she's not in a relationship or needs help ) She was in a domestically violent relationship which ended badly and with a non Mol put in place .My stepdaughter was witness to the abuse she's 6. Social service were involved etc.. My husband has learnt his ex has moved without telling him , moved his daughters school and got back with her abusive ex . Given the history my husband is terrified for his daughters safety and we'll being . We have contacted social services etc.. however my husband feels his ex isn't safeguarding their daughter and wants her in our care ASAP . Can he take her if he informs his ex , the police and social services he is doing so?She has been hit by both the ex and her partner in the past so it is not without good cause . Any help or advice would be appreciated.Thank you
Mother13 - 22-Mar-18 @ 9:45 AM
My ex and I have shared order, 1 x week with Mum and 1 x dad. He's going away next week and my son 8 informed me that daddy's girlfriend is looking after him. I have emailed my ex- he denigrated me and confirmed this is what is happening. I am free to take care of my son- he says he will stay with his girlfriend! She is unknown to me, I have been advised not to return him and exercise my parental responsibility, as my ex cannot look after my son. I'm expecting trouble.
Nicdee - 21-Mar-18 @ 8:40 PM
Hi, please can you help and advise me on where I currently stand? I have 3 children, twin girls who are 18 and a son who is 15 and have now been divorced for over 8 years. At the time of the divorce, I was self employed and had a relatively good disposal income. Through advice from my solicitor, i put a consent order in place for £1,500 a month purely for child maintenance. As the years went by, my company went and i had to get a job. My income took quite a nose dive and my ex wife reluctantly agreed to accept less money. She has since remarried. Over the past 6 years, through open communication channels and with my income having less than halved, the monthly child support figure I pay her has gradually reduced down to £650. I have since remarried and i am expecting our first child at the end of June. There has been many ups and downs with my kids over the years that i won't bore you with, but have always contributed financially to their upkeep and well being as much as I can. My ex has been pushing for an increase for quite some time and is constantly lording the consent order over me, saying that she can take me to court for the difference between what i have paid and what the consent order states, going back for a period of 12 months. Please can you confirm the following; 1. As my financial circumstances have changed significantly from those when the consent order was first put in place and she has agreed to a reduced figure, can this be upheld in a court? 2. If I was to contact the child support agency myself today, will this supersede the consent order? 3. With my new child due in June, at what point will the baby's arrival influence my child support payments? 4. One of the twins will be starting university in september. Will this mean she falls outside of any compulsory child support payments? Thank you in advance of any help
BangingMyHead - 21-Mar-18 @ 5:48 PM
I have been to court and have been told that my ex partner has to have my son 3 days a week and no over night stays (because of drink, drug and mental health issues), I do not get any help from her at all and have been offered a job in another city that is over 2 hours away. I have finally decided to stop any contact because of personal issues with her family and she is seeing him when ever it is good for her but also because she smokes inside the flat while he is with her and he now needs an inhaler. where do I stand with the moving side of things? please
Skinny - 20-Mar-18 @ 2:00 PM
W189s - Your Question:
My partner has a four year old son who has been staying with us 9 nights out of 14 for the last six months, to accommodate his mums working hours. We pay his mum child support and are always the ones to pick up and drop off her son. We suggested moving him to a more local nursery, as his is over a 1 hour round trip and we have two other children living in our home. We have him most week nights so it seemed to make sense. She is now threatening to cut all contact because she feels we are trying to take her son away from her.

Our Response:
In a situation such as this where parents cannot agree an arrangement, your partner may wish to ask his ex to come to an agreement via mediation. Please see link here. An amicable arrangement is always a better objective to aim for than a non-amicable one.
SeparatedDads - 20-Mar-18 @ 9:50 AM
My partner has a four year old son who has been staying with us 9 nights out of 14 for the last six months, to accommodate his mums working hours. We pay his mum child support and are always the ones to pick up and drop off her son. We suggested moving him to a more local nursery, as his is over a 1 hour round trip and we have two other children living in our home. We have him most week nights so it seemed to make sense. She is now threatening to cut all contact because she feels we are trying to take her son away from her.
W189s - 19-Mar-18 @ 4:44 PM
Step mum- Your Question:
Hello my partner had two boys with his EX wife who are 12 and soon to be 9, they had agreed set days for him to see the boys Tuesday till Thursday morning every week then every other weekend now she had turned round saying he can only have them weds overnight and every other weekend, she had said because it’s too long for them to walk to ours or it’s what the boys want but when speaking to them they didn’t want it she has just told them it’s happening. She had told him if he wants the boys it needs to be one week on one week off but due to his work and the fact we have two children together it’s not something he can do with his hours and me taking our daughter to school and sorting out newborn out. We can’t sfford legal fees but want to know the best way of going about things. She’s not one to sit down and talk with us she will just scream shout and swear and whatever she says goes.,

Our Response:
The next option in such an instance, is to explore mediation, please see link here . If his ex refuses to attend mediation, as your partner wishes to continue to challenge her decision, then applying to court is the remaining option, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 16-Mar-18 @ 12:49 PM
Beatrice - Your Question:
Can I get in trouble for not letting my ex see his kids I never got married with him we just live together I really don't want him seeing the kids because he drinks too much but he's asking me to let him see the kids

Our Response:
You won't get into 'trouble' for preventing your children's father from seeing his children if you separate. However, every parent has the right to appy to court to see and have a relationship with their children. If you cannot agree with your ex about how that access takes place, then mediation should be considered. If you refuse to negotiate, then your ex would have the option to take the matter to court. This is deemed a last resort, as the court process can be stressful all round. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. You can see the process of a child arrangement order via the link here.
SeparatedDads - 16-Mar-18 @ 9:35 AM
My x knows I won't get a solicitor and that I have no interest in my maybe daughter .so we keep our distance and move on with our own lives .we where toxic and no to keep our distance from each other because it will end with more trouble and that's the last thing I want .I gave my consent to remove my surname with depol and have her step father adopt her .
chris - 15-Mar-18 @ 6:50 PM
No you can't get in trouble you have the right to keep them away .but he does have the right to apply to court .if he hasn't done that well speaks for itself .my x was bad tempered so I made the choice to keep my kids away from him .he called years later trying to use my affair and use pity pathetic in book .he can get a solicitor been 9 years so he's got little chance .he has he moved on with hes life now and is happy and told me he wont be getting a solicitor and is happy with things the way they are .and told me he just wanted to verbalize my affair whatever he is a loser in my book .my kids are better off without him plus there step father is a better man .
sammy - 15-Mar-18 @ 6:25 PM
Can I get in trouble for not letting my ex see his kids I never got married with him we just live together I really don't want him seeing the kids because he drinks too much but he's asking me to let him see the kids
Beatrice - 15-Mar-18 @ 4:58 PM
Hello my partner had two boys with his EX wife who are 12 and soon to be 9, they had agreed set days for him to see the boys Tuesday till Thursday morning every week then every other weekend now she had turned round saying he can only have them weds overnight and every other weekend, she had said because it’s too long for them to walk to ours or it’s what the boys want but when speaking to them they didn’t want it she has just told them it’s happening. She had told him if he wants the boys it needs to be one week on one week off but due to his work and the fact we have two children together it’s not something he can do with his hours and me taking our daughter to school and sorting out newborn out. We can’t sfford legal fees but want to know the best way of going about things. She’s not one to sit down and talk with us she will just scream shout and swear and whatever she says goes.,
Step mum - 15-Mar-18 @ 10:39 AM
Desperate dad - Your Question:
My ex partner is saying I cannot pick my 3 kids up from school and I'm not seeing them until I got to go to court.all this started one Friday I picked up my 3 year old from nursery and said "dad I saw name of guy in mum's bed last night naked".as you can imagine I was very angry.this guy my ex partner is with he split up with her after finding out she was pregnant after 2 months into the relationship.so my ex ended up getting an abortion for his babyou not 3 weeks later she takes him back into the home where my 3 kids are living.this guy has a police record for holding his ex partner and son hostage at knife point.there are drugs being smoked in the house and drinking every night. Before this happened I was seeing my kids 3 times a week picking them up from school and my oldest of 9 would staye at mine on a Friday night and the other 2 on Saturday night.now she wants to stop it all because I sent her a message saying I was keeping the kids with me because they are safe that wayou and not in danger.as any concerned father would do protect there children.I took them back the following day as I would never keep them from there mum or home.now she is starting with all this I'm not seeing them and I gotta go to court.surley the court would see I was being a concerned father and keeping my kids safe.any advice please I'm worried sick about my kids.

Our Response:
Keeping children without the other parent's consent is never a good idea, as it can backfire. Such a short term action often carried out through anger and frustration can unfortunately have long term repercussions. We cannot predict what a court may decide. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. However, if a court order is put in place for access, both you and your ex would have to keep to it. Just because the matter is going to court, it doesn't mean you will be prevented from having access to your children, especially if you have to date played an important part in their day-to-day lives. As a rule, you and your ex would be requested to attend mediation first in order to try to come to an agreement prior to court.
SeparatedDads - 13-Mar-18 @ 2:29 PM
My ex partner is saying I cannot pick my 3 kids up from school and I'm not seeing them until I got to go to court.all this started one Friday I picked up my 3 year old from nursery and said "dad I saw name of guy in mum's bed last night naked".as you can imagine I was very angry.this guy my ex partner is with he split up with her after finding out she was pregnant after 2 months into the relationship.so my ex ended up getting an abortion for his babyou not 3 weeks later she takes him back into the home where my 3 kids are living.this guy has a police record for holding his ex partner and son hostage at knife point.there are drugs being smoked in the house and drinking every night. Before this happened I was seeing my kids 3 times a week picking them up from school and my oldest of 9 would staye at mine on a Friday night and the other 2 on Saturday night.now she wants to stop it all because I sent her a message saying I was keeping the kids with me because they are safe that wayou and not in danger.as any concerned father would do protect there children.I took them back the following day as I would never keep them from there mum or home.now she is starting with all this I'm not seeing them and I gotta go to court..surley the court would see iwas being a concerned father and keeping my kids safe.any advice please I'm worried sick about my kids.
Desperate dad - 12-Mar-18 @ 2:03 AM
concerned father- Your Question:
Hi. for the past 3 years I have been in a constant legal battle with my ex over my two children. It started of with my 3 year old being assaulted by her partner. (since dealt with, he is now is prison). However, social services told me to keep the children with me. I did this. the mother then started a private proceeding for residency. SS told me they need to do a parental assessment on the mother and requested I returned the children so they can complete an accurate, stupidly I agreed. This then lead for her to do all the "right" things (get them in a school, Drs etc etc. That outcome ended badly for me. CAFCASS said they have had too much disruption therefore, stay with their mother. After that things were going well, concerns were lightened, the mother was ingaging with parenting courses etc etc. Although contact was always an issue with speradic calls etc. Anyway, shortly after the final hearing (1.5 years into the situation and 4 months after the final hearing) she packed up and moved to Scotland with the Children.I took it to court which she didn't attend. I was advised by the judge that she is powerless as she is out of jurisdiction. In the end, both kids were doing well in school, and I thought, as long as I can see them and have contact, and there are no concerns, just go with it. Then one day Scottish Social services called. They have significant concerns and that the children are at intimidate risk of harm. These are, neglect, poor and unfit living conditions, drug use (weed), educational neglect, hygiene neglect, exposure to DV, basically all concerns with the exception of sexual. They asked me to come and collect them. Of course I did, I left straight away. There was no court order for them to hand me the children nor to remove the children. I did however give my permission to withhold them and wait for my arrival. Also, the police carried out interviews with both the children. These were recorded interviews. She has since contented it again however, she now faces the problem I have. Scotland have no jurisdiction. I took it back to court which she now attends in England, the battle continues.What I want to know is did Scottish Social remove the children illegally? or are they well within the rights to retain the children and hand to me?

Our Response:
I'm afraid this matter is beyond our remit to advise given the complexity of the issue. It is one that only a qualified legal professional can answer. Therefore, you would have to seek family law legal advice.
SeparatedDads - 27-Feb-18 @ 10:30 AM
Hi. for the past 3 years i have been in a constant legal battle with my ex over my two children. It started of with my 3 year old being assaulted by her partner. (since dealt with, he is now is prison). However, social services told me to keep the children with me. I did this. the mother then started a private proceeding for residency. SS told me they need to do a parental assessment on the mother and requested i returned the children so they can complete an accurate, stupidly i agreed. This then lead for her to do all the "right" things (get them in a school, Drs etc etc. That outcome ended badly for me. CAFCASS said they have had too much disruption therefore, stay with their mother. After that things were going well, concerns were lightened, the mother was ingaging with parenting courses etc etc. Although contact was always an issue with speradic calls etc. Anyway, shortly after the final hearing (1.5 years into the situation and 4 months after the final hearing) she packed up and moved to Scotland with the Children. I took it to court which she didn't attend. I was advised by the judge that she is powerless as she is out of jurisdiction. In the end, both kids were doing well in school, and i thought, as long as i can see them and have contact, and there are no concerns, just go with it. Then one day Scottish Social services called. They have significant concerns and that the children are at intimidate risk of harm. These are, neglect, poor and unfit living conditions, drug use (weed), educational neglect, hygiene neglect, exposure to DV, basically all concerns with the exception of sexual. They asked me to come and collect them. Of course i did, I left straight away. There was no court order for them to hand me the children nor to remove the children. I did however give my permission to withhold them and wait for my arrival. Also, the police carried out interviews with both the children. These were recorded interviews. She has since contented it again however, she now faces the problem i have. Scotland have no jurisdiction. I took it back to court which she now attends in England, the battle continues. What i want to know is did Scottish Social remove the children illegally? or are they well within the rights to retain the children and hand to me?
concerned father - 26-Feb-18 @ 4:48 PM
Hi last week my fiancée of ten years left me trying to take our three children with her our eldest (5) refused and stayed at home with me whilst she took the younger two to her mums I wasn't allowed to see my children again untill fri night and enjoyed looking after them through the weekend untill Monday morning when the mother decided she wanted them back I didn't refuse even tho it was just before lunch and I had already prepared it for them but after a horrible handover where the mother in law became agressive towards me I had to near on force all three of my children out of my arms and into the mother in laws car screaming that they don't want to leave me because of this my ex partner and her mother in law are refusing me any access not even a phone call to spk to my children and have told me I won't see them again untill they have been able to inflict supervised visits I am obviously heart broken that both my ex partner or her parents would have complete disregard for the well being of our children and completely refuse their dad any chance no matter how small even to be allowed to see them I have already started mediation but am deeply concerned for the children as they have always had me there in their lives and to not be allowed to read them a bed time story or give them a cuddle whilst watching a movie or just enjoying every little thing they do each day is forcing me to feel like I'm failing my babies they have always looked to me for discipline and I'm sure the mum is struggling because of them not having me around but I can't bare to think about how much my children are missing me please what can I do is it really legal to just walk away with your children and force a full time dad to no longer be allowed any access at all ?
Sad dad - 13-Feb-18 @ 8:42 PM
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