Home > Download Guides > After the Initial Court Order

After the Initial Court Order

By: Abigail Taylor - Updated: 23 Jun 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Court Court Order Breaches Child Ex

Our three-part guide to 'Going to Court' covered all the issues you might experience throughout the court process. Many people experience issues after a court order has been made - and this guide "After the Initial Court Order" is aimed at helping you through difficulties following a court ruling.

Breaches of Court Orders

It is always important to keep a record of any breaches of a court order, however minor. Whilst it may not seem important at the time that a payment was a couple of days late or a couple of pounds short, these minor breaches all add up. A series of minor breaches on top of a more major breach of an order (such as a payment missed altogether) may be the evidence that makes a difference between a judge just giving your ex partner 'a telling off' and be told not to breach the order again, and the judge altering the order (to reduce contact or make them pay a month in advance).

You can keep a record however you like really, as long as you keep it safe. Below are a couple of popular choices:

  • Quick typed word document saved in a separate file on your computer
  • A small pocket diary kept just for the purposes of recording breaches
It is also important to keep track of any communication with your partner, even if it is just a 'courtesy call' in which there were no disagreements or agreements made. This will enable you to easily refer to exactly what was said (particularly if in person or over the phone) at a later date.

Your diary entries / notes don't have to be long.

For Example: 21/08/12 - Mark dropped Katy off at 8pm as agreed. He said she had been out with her friends at the shops all afternoon and had not had tea.

It is also worth if anything is agreed (in person or over the phone) to confirm this in writing (email is fine) with your ex partner. They do not have to reply, but they have then had the option to object if this was not their recollection of the situation.

Police Involvement in Court Order Breaches

The police generally won't get involved in breaches of court orders as it is a matter for the court to deal with. Even if your ex partner keeps your children for an extra couple of nights than they are meant to, this is not a matter for the police as the children are safe with someone who has parental responsibility. (Also consider whether you would want to upset your children by having the police come into the house and drag them away from your partner.)

If your ex partner repeatedly or seriously breaches the court order, you can apply to the courts to enforce the order. All contact orders after 2008 contain a warning about what could happen if an order is breached. If your order is breached, you need to ensure that you have an attached warning notice. You can then apply for enforcement of your order. The police will then only become involved if there are repeated serious breaches and the court punishes your ex partner via community service (or, in rare cases, imprisonment).

The police will not immediately get involved in enforcing a court order relating to children if they are with someone with parental responsibility, even if you make allegations of abuse. The correct procedure should you wish to make allegations of abuse is to make an emergency (same day) application to the courts. The police may then be used to enforce that court order, accompanying a Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) officer to remove children from a party's care.

Applying For a Change of Contact Arrangements

Clearly the easiest way to agree contact arrangements is between you and your ex partner, clarifying arrangements in writing. If this is the case and you wish to change your contact arrangements, you can simply ask to have a discussion with them and set new arrangements.

If however you have a court order detailing your contact arrangements, changing them is a little more tricky and you may need to apply to the courts again; a costly and lengthy process. The best way to deal with a change in arrangements, even if you currently have a court order is:

  • Talk to your ex partner and explain what you want to change and why. If it works out better for both of you they might not object.
  • Go your solicitor and draft a letter to your ex partner setting out the arrangements you wish to change in a more official manner on their letterhead.
  • If neither of the above has settled matters, apply to the courts to decide your contact arrangements again.

Going back to court takes time and money, so it is important to consider a) how important it is that you make changes to the current arrangements (especially if they work) and b) how major are your changes. If your changes are purely for convenience, but can still work now, then it is really not cost effective to take your ex partner back to court if they won't agree to them. Equally if your change is to which evening you have the children (e.g. Weds / Thurs) or what time they are returned (1pm / 2pm), there is also little point in taking this matter to court.

Remember the No Order Principle: the courts will not make an order, if the position is no worse if they don't make an order than if they do.

You should always aim to work together as parents and be reasonable. If you are on the receiving end of a request to change arrangements, consider if the request is reasonable and what effect it would have on you. If for example it is a change of day when you would be in all week anyway, then why object; objecting just to annoy your ex partner is never advisable as, like it or not, you have a long-standing relationship with them (until your child is 18!)

Parental Alienation

In some cases the child may state that they do not want to have any contact with the non resident parent, this is sometimes due to the fact that the resident parent has alienated the child from the other parent. This is known by some as parental alienation, this is a controversial pathological ailment most commonly claimed during divorce or separation of parents. Symptoms of parental alienation are expressed as unjustified extreme hatred for one parent.

Parental alienation remains a controversial condition in both the legal and medical professions, as similar symptoms can easily be brought on by negative comments by the other parent, or a child blaming one party (particularly if they were unfaithful) for the relationship breaking down.

Proving it in Court

Generally legal advice would always be not to plead parental alienation in court. Judges like evidence based submissions, so if you are claiming a medical (psychological) condition, the judge will want to see a medical report to prove this. This is not the sort of report a regular GP would be able to give, so would be expensive to obtain, and many medical professionals (much like with conditions such as ME) don't recognise it as a "real" medical problem.

The best way to effectively plead parental alienation would be to produce evidence in court of your child's behaviour being unsubstantiated or unreasonable. You essentially want the judge to give the wishes of your child (one item on the welfare checklist) little weight. You are far more likely to achieve this by demonstrating how good a parent you are and your closeness with your child before the separation to show how their sudden hatred is irrational. Often mention of "parental alienation syndrome", a condition proposed by controversial American psychiatrist Richard Gardner, will damage an otherwise valid point.

SUMMARY:

  • Parental Alienation Syndrome is highly controversial
  • Many medics and lawyers do not accept it exists
  • You are more likely to succeed by proving that behaviour is irrational / influenced by the other party using evidence

Applying For a Change of Contact Arrangements

Clearly the easiest way to agree contact arrangements is between you and your ex partner, clarifying arrangements in writing. If this is the case and you wish to change your contact arrangements, you can simply ask to have a discussion with them and set new arrangements.

If however you have a court order detailing your contact arrangements, changing them is a little more tricky and you may need to apply to the courts again; a costly and lengthy process. The best way to deal with a change in arrangements, even if you currently have a court order is:

  • Talk to your ex partner and explain what you want to change and why. If it works out better for both of you they might not object
  • Go your solicitor and draft a letter to your ex partner setting out the arrangements you wish to change in a more official manner on their letterhead
  • If neither of the above has settled matters, apply to the courts to decide your contact arrangements again

Going back to court takes time and money, so it is important to consider a) how important it is that you make changes to the current arrangements (especially if they work) and b) how major are your changes. If your changes are purely for convenience, but can still work now, then it is really not cost effective to take your ex partner back to court if they won't agree to them. Equally if your change is to which evening you have the children (e.g. Weds / Thurs) or what time they are returned (1pm / 2pm), there is also little point in taking this matter to court.

Remember the No Order Principle: the courts will not make an order, if the position is no worse if they don't make an order than if they do.

You should always aim to work together as parents and be reasonable. If you are on the receiving end of a request to change arrangements, consider if the request is reasonable and what effect it would have on you. If for example it is a change of day when you would be in all week anyway, then why object; objecting just to annoy your ex partner is never advisable as, like it or not, you have a long-standing relationship with them (until your child is 18!)

SUMMARY:

  • Only resort to changes through the courts if you have to
  • If changes are opposed consider carefully whether they are strictly necessary before applying to the courts

Sample Letters

We've produced 10 sample letters to help you communicate with your ex and with the various authorities to help you achieve a positive outcome with any issues relating to your children. You find them here:

After court letters part one.

After court letters, part two.

Separated Dads Chat Room & Forum

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
[Add a Comment]
I agreed on a court order to pay x per month to my ex wife, this amount is more than the amount that is recommended on the Child Maintenance website.However I now get to see the children for about 8 days a month on average and they never have any money brought with them when they come to visit.So essentially I am paying twice for them.Do you have any advice as to how to deal with this as my ex wife wont send any money with the children when I have asked.As I understand it, child maintenance top whack for if you have the children more than 1 day a week on average would be £160 per week (based on 2 children), I pay more than that.Do I need to take this back to court to get a new court order?
Deano - 23-Jun-17 @ 2:25 PM
Hi My ex partner and I have a little boy and there is a court order in place, however recently an incident as taken place with my partner and in court it was seen as an out of character incident however I have been left with criminal records. My ex partner is saying I have to see my little boy with her until his 18 of I want to see him however that is normality for my little boy I have suggested my mother his Nan but she is having non of it. I am just seeking some advice as to where I stand.
LAKS - 20-Jun-17 @ 8:08 PM
nutbrittle - Your Question:
Hi my sons ex girlfriend is pregnant and she is saying my son will never see his baby, he is 17 and she is 18 although my son is so young he wants to be in his babit's life and be a good dad (he grew up without his dad and do sent want the same for his child) she is saying she will not put his name on the birth certificate so he won't have any rights, is there any rights he will be granted or can apply for? Thank you.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. If your son's ex refuses to register his name on his child's birth certificate, he can apply for parental responsibility of his child through the courts, please see link here. While applying for PR does not guarantee access, he can apply for access to see his child at the same time via a C100 contact form, please see link here. However, your son must suggest mediation to his ex first before the matter goes to court, please see link here. Only if she refuses mediation, will he be allowed to apply directly to court. The courts do wish fathers to have access to their children and his ex would have to have a very good reason to justify to the courts for not allowing it. If your son cannot afford the legal fees, he can self-litigate in court and if he is on a low income he may get a reduction in court fees. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 12-Jun-17 @ 11:23 AM
Hi my sons ex girlfriend is pregnant and she is saying my son will never see his baby, he is 17 and she is 18 although my son is so young he wants to be in his babit's life and be a good dad (he grew up without his dad and do sent want the same for his child) she is saying she will not put his name on the birth certificate so he won't have any rights, is there any rights he will be granted or can apply for? Thank you.
nutbrittle - 11-Jun-17 @ 10:50 PM
I have a court order allowing me to see my children on a Friday 5pm until Saturday 5pm, my ex has stopped me seeing my children now since beginning of may and will not allow me to see them until I have been on a parenting course which could not be until September/October. What can I do? I can't afford more court costs after taking her to court in the past. She refused mediation and has changed her number so I cannot have any contact with my children
Dad78 - 7-Jun-17 @ 3:37 PM
My ex partner took me to court a year ago and has had contact but keeps changing when he has him. Hes suppose to have him once a month over night stays and some months he hasnt been doing this. The summer holidays he has 14days and wants him for the whole 2 weeks i have said no itll be split into 2 lots as i dont think my son would cope that lengh of time away from me and his btother as he always asks when hes coming home when he does go. What do i do go back to court as he keep changing everything this is days and times
Bekah - 3-Jun-17 @ 10:46 AM
Dp777 - Your Question:
Hi,My ex and I have a court order that allows 50/50 custody on a 2-2-3 / 2-2-3 nightly pattern. This was after she stopped me having contact for almost 12 months. My eledest daughter turns 13 in 1 week and keeps sending me messages saying she hates her mother, her mother calls her names, her mother makes her depressed and bully's her. I appreciate teens will be teens. But she has said she wants to live with me full time many times now. And this weekend packed her bags. Now she is 13 and her will is to live with me how does this work if she were to just turn up on my doorstep, even despite my best efforts to advise her that she should try to resolve her issues with her mother. If she wants to live here and refuses to go to her mothers what are the implications etc? Obviously I would happily have my daughter full time and will ensure my daughter is 100% certain and that I have attempted to resolve there issues. I just cannot turn her away but am worried about breaking the court order. Many many thanks

Our Response:
If there is a court order in place (and your ex does not agree to your daughter moving in with you) then you would have to take the matter back to court if you wish to apply to vary the terms. Otherwise you will be in breach of the order, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 25-May-17 @ 2:05 PM
BabyCakes - Your Question:
Hiya my daughters dads name isn't currently on the birth certificate but he's been granted PR by the court, in court I said I'd add dad's name, but now I really don't want to, Can I change my mind or do I have to do it? He only sees my daughter 2 days a week totalling 16hrs. Does his PR only cover him these two days as appose to what it would if he was on birth certificate?

Our Response:
If a court has ordered you to put the father's name on the birth certificate, or this forms part of the agreement through the court, then you will be in breach of the court order if you refuse. This may be punishable if your ex has to take the matter back to court to have the order enforced. Regardless whether he is registered on the birth certificate or not, his PR status still applies.
SeparatedDads - 22-May-17 @ 1:54 PM
Hiya my daughters dads name isn't currently on the birth certificate but he's been granted PR by the court, in court I said I'd add dad's name, but now I really don't want to, Can I change my mind or do I have to do it? He only sees my daughter 2 days a week totalling 16hrs. Does his PR only cover him these two days as appose to what it would if he was on birth certificate?
BabyCakes - 22-May-17 @ 12:58 AM
Hi, My ex and I have a court order that allows 50/50 custody on a 2-2-3 / 2-2-3 nightly pattern. This was after she stopped me having contact for almost 12 months. My eledest daughter turns 13 in 1 week and keeps sending me messages saying she hates her mother, her mother calls her names, her mother makes her depressed and bully's her. I appreciate teens will be teens. But she has said she wants to live with me full time many times now. And this weekend packed her bags.Now she is 13 and her will is to live with me how does this work if she were to just turn up on my doorstep, even despite my best efforts to advise her that she should try to resolve her issues with her mother. If she wants to live here and refuses to go to her mothers what are the implications etc?Obviously I would happily have my daughter full time and will ensure my daughter is 100% certain and that I have attempted to resolve there issues. I just cannot turn her away but am worried about breaking the court order. Many many thanks
Dp777 - 20-May-17 @ 5:43 PM
jaffacakes - Your Question:
My wife and I seperated two years ago, the children expressed desire to live with their mother. The Decree absolute was issued in April 17 and the court order was stated child maintenance should be payed (as it been done for last two years) for the two children to her. Since the court order, the circumstances have changed drastically and the children now live with me full time but their mother refuses to support financially the children. She stated that I had to pay her the money for the children regardless where the children were living. She got the majority of the house because she stated she had to be mortgage free and create a home for the children. Is it possible to change a court order shortly after it is issued because the circumstances change dramatically without entering into a repeat of the expensive legal process that I have been through once already.

Our Response:
Yes, if there has been a change in circumstances then you can apply to have to order varied. If the children are living with you and your ex is earning, then she should be paying you child maintenance, not the other way around. If your ex does not agree with this turnaround and refuses to pay you child maintenance or agree to have the court order changed through mediation, you can self-litigate, please see link here . By removing legal representation, this will cut down the costs. If you are on a low income, you may also be able to get a reduction in court fees.
SeparatedDads - 16-May-17 @ 10:58 AM
My wife and I seperated two years ago, the children expressed desire to live with their mother. The Decree absolute was issued in April 17 and the court order was stated child maintenance should be payed (as it been done for last two years) for the two children to her. Since the court order, the circumstances have changed drastically and the children now live with me full time but their mother refuses to support financially the children. She stated that I had to pay her the money for the children regardless where the children were living. She got the majority of the house because she stated she had to be mortgage free and create a home for the children. Is it possible to change a court order shortly after it is issued because the circumstances change dramatically without entering into a repeat of the expensive legal process that I have been through once already.
jaffacakes - 15-May-17 @ 1:12 PM
Teary - Your Question:
My ex and I have a court order in place that he initiated two years ago. Since having her for half the Easter half term (7th April 17) he has not brought her back. He wont let me have telephone contact with her, ( changing her phone number) he wont let me see her. He claims that she wants to live with him now and he is showering her with gifts and letting her do things that I wont allow. I have applied to the court for an enforcement order which is sceduled for June. Can the court take her from me despite the fact that im a good mum. She is 11.

Our Response:
The court will always decide upon what it thinks is in your daughter's best interests. If your ex has kept your daughter away from you he is in breach of the court order and this is not condoned in court unless there is a very good reason. While age 11, your daughter is allowed to voice her preference in court, it does not guarantee the court will go with her preference. Stability and consistency are considered the upmost importance and if you have to date offered this and there is no good reason why your ex has kept your daughter, then the court should hand your child back to you. However, this is pure supposition, we cannot guarantee this as we have no knowledge of the case and why your ex has taken this action. Cafcass are likely to get involved and generally the report it produces will be adhered to by the courts, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 8-May-17 @ 12:47 PM
My ex and i have a court order in place that he initiated two years ago. Since having her for half the Easter half term (7th April 17) he has not brought her back. He wont let me have telephone contact with her, ( changing her phone number) he wont let me see her. He claims that she wants to live with him now and he is showering her with gifts and letting her do things that i wont allow. I have applied to the court for an enforcement order which is sceduled for June .Can the court take her from me despite the fact that im a good mum.She is 11 ....
Teary - 7-May-17 @ 3:55 PM
Tracert - Your Question:
Hi After 9 months of not seeing my 2 daughters due to the eldest disclosing feeling scared and intimidated by my Ex husband he applied to the court. A court order was put in place with conditions he didn't swear or speak bad about me to the children. My youngest daughter has now told me he is still doing this and telling her that I am 'grooming' her and brainwashing her. He still swears and speaks bad of me and my partner. All of the conditions in the order he is not adhering to. My youngest is now seeing a counsellor and suffering from emotional distress. She now says she doesn't want to go and gets worried. I am not sure how I get him to abide by the conditions! Please any advice would help.

Our Response:
Please see link: Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do, please see link here which should answer your question.
SeparatedDads - 25-Apr-17 @ 12:11 PM
Hi After 9 months of not seeing my 2 daughters due to the eldest disclosing feeling scared and intimidated by my Ex husband he applied to the court.A court order was put in place with conditions he didn't swear or speak bad about me to the children.My youngest daughter has now told me he is still doing this and telling her that I am 'grooming' her and brainwashing her.He still swears and speaks bad of me and my partner.All of the conditions in the order he is not adhering to.My youngest is now seeing a counsellor and suffering from emotional distress.She now says she doesn't want to go and gets worried.I am not sure how I get him to abide by the conditions! Please any advice would help.
Tracert - 24-Apr-17 @ 5:08 PM
My ex wife and I have a court order in place where I get to see my children once a month I would love more but due to the distance involved of where we both live it's not possible. The court order was worded that after the first 4 months of contact being in my ex wife's home we would come to an arrangement ourselves to further the contact and the court states they expect to see a greater increase at this time. Now she has agreed that I be able to take my children out of her house and have personal time with them although she is trying to limit the amount of time I am out and who is able to accompany me on my visits. My family have not seen my daughter for over a year and a half and have never met my son. Where do I stand on taking my family members and indeed my new partner to meet my children? Bare in mind my ex has already moved my children in with her new partner without my knowledge and In fact has moved their home twice and not told me. She has breached the court order against her numerous times but I have always let it go as to not take her back to court. She seems to be trying to call all the shots when she really does not have the rights to in my eyes. I'm allowed contact with my children and as far as I'm aware when they are in my custody as long as the persons with me are not a danger to my children I can choose who they are with when I have care of them one day a month ? Any advise please.
Luke - 19-Apr-17 @ 6:14 PM
John - Your Question:
My youngest daughter turns 18 in my and is not in school full time. My court order does not mention any condition when support ends. What would be proper procedure?

Our Response:
Is your daughter working and earning money? Do you know if child benefit has stopped? Please see link: At What Age Do Child Maintenance Payments Stop? here. If child benefit has ceased, then you can cease paying child maintenance as they both fall in line with each other. Therefore, if you're on good terms with your ex, then ask her directly. If not, you might wish to seek legal advice about finalising the child maintenance process via your solicitor. Your solicitor could send a letter outlining your rights (dependent upon your daughter's circumstances). Alternatively, you could give CMS a call and ask what the correct protocol is.
SeparatedDads - 19-Apr-17 @ 10:07 AM
Missintrigued - Your Question:
Hi, not sure if there's any advice, but due to my ex using my tax code (long story) but I couldn't claim the little benefit I was entitled to to help me live for about 3 years, so I ended up paying 4,500 to take him to court. We settled and a court order was given that he would pay me a certain amount of money each month until my son finished full-time education. He is due to finish at the end of June and I had budgeted for this so we would be able to live when it ended. Without warning he stopped the money after the end of Feb. It's left me struggling for my son and I to live as we are renting. My sons college course is nearing an end, so he is only attending one day a week as he only has one unit to finish, my ex says that's why he has stopped paying as he is not attending fu'll time these next few months, so doesn't count as a full time college course. and I can't afford to take my ex back to court to fight this. He earns 150k a year, I earn 25k a year. Any advice as to what I should do? Thanks

Our Response:
Legally, your only option is to take the matter back to court in order to have the order enforced. Child maintenance should stop in line with when child benefit does, which is at the end of the school year when the college course finishes (officially Aug 31). Therefore, it is in your best interest to try to sort this matter out as if it rules in your favour your ex will be liable to pay arrears. If you have the original court order, perhaps a solicitor's letter outlining the agreement, the current situation and your rights should the matter be take to court, may do the trick.
SeparatedDads - 18-Apr-17 @ 11:29 AM
My youngest daughter turns 18 in my and is not in school full time. My court order does not mention any condition when support ends. What would be proper procedure?
John - 18-Apr-17 @ 11:01 AM
Hi, not sure if there's any advice, but due to my ex using my tax code (long story) but I couldn't claim the little benefit I was entitled to to help me live for about 3 years, so I ended up paying 4,500 to take him to court. We settled and a court order was given that he would pay me a certain amount of money each month until my son finished full-time education.He is due to finish at the end of June and I had budgeted for this so we would be able to live when it ended. Without warning he stopped the money after the end of Feb.It's left me struggling for my son and I to live as we are renting.My sons college course is nearing an end, so he is only attending one day a week as he only has one unit to finish, my ex says that's why he has stopped paying as he is not attending fu'll time these next few months, so doesn't count as a full time college course.and I can't afford to take my ex back to court to fight this.He earns 150k a year, I earn 25k a year.Any advice as to what I should do? Thanks
Missintrigued - 17-Apr-17 @ 11:40 AM
my childs farther has supervised contact order this is supervised by grandparents he asked for overnight stay and then worked the night he was supposed to be with my son at his grand parents is this breech of order as grandparents ended up looking after him that night
becks - 8-Apr-17 @ 10:23 PM
Hi I've just received a section 7 report back and extremely happy with the recommendations on contact, alternative weekends, mid week and all holidays split 50/50 - what I asked for in the initial contact order. The cafcass officer has suggested a parenting plan is done. My understanding this isn't enforceable? I am self representating and unsure what this means. Their mother and I won't be able to agree (I'm not being negative but court was my final option after 3 years of threats and the children being withheld when she didn't like something, most recently for 3 month!) has anyone been in a similar situation? How can I get an order for contact? Review hearing in 1 week! Many thanks
Stiggy - 30-Mar-17 @ 2:28 PM
Joe - Your Question:
Hello there. My ex has given me my daughter after complaints about her behaviour. She is in my home now and I am in the process of applying for new schools for her.However this is not the first time she has done this and I am worried she will take her back again. My ex has had social services involvements for a good while because of abuse in her home from her ex boyfriend, though he no longer resides there. There's been police incidents also. However she has now been discharged. We have a court order, in place for about 5 years or more, stating she has residency and I have a contact order. How can I get the residency order changed in my favour to prevent her from taking her back again?This is has happened multiple times with both my children with her kicking them out on numerous occasions because of their bad behaviour and inability to cope. I was thinking about applying to court with a c100 form but it says we have to mediation first? But if it's amicable, at the moment, do we really have to? We only would be amending an order in place for one child and not both as is on the court order.Is a cafcass parenting plan worth completing? Many thanks.

Our Response:
You can apply for a variation to the initial court order. Or use a solicitor to draw up an agreement. It's always tricky where the relationship is currently amicable. However, if your ex has a residency order, then she can always demand you hand your daughter back and you would have to comply. If there was no residency order involved and you have parental responsibility, then you could refuse.
SeparatedDads - 27-Mar-17 @ 11:27 AM
Hello there. My ex has given me my daughter after complaints about her behaviour. She is in my home now and I am in the process of applying for new schools for her. However this is not the first time she has done this and I am worried she will take her back again. My ex has had social services involvements for a good while because of abuse in her home from her ex boyfriend,though he no longer resides there. There's been police incidents also. However she has now been discharged. We have a court order, in place for about 5 years or more, stating she has residency and I have a contact order. How can I get the residency order changed in my favour to prevent her from taking her back again? This is has happened multiple times with both my children with her kicking them out on numerous occasions because of their bad behaviour and inability to cope. I was thinking about applying to court with a c100 form but it says we have to mediation first? But if it's amicable, at the moment, do we really have to? We only would be amending an order in place for one child and not both as is on the court order. Is a cafcass parenting plan worth completing? Many thanks.
Joe - 26-Mar-17 @ 4:05 PM
Sue - Your Question:
My child's father keeps breech in the court order.He has done from day one.one of things is my child is not allowed to share a bed with any adult other than sibling.He shares a bed with a young woman and her two kids.He's done a lot more stuff aswell and verbally abusive to me all the time.I find that once a court order is in place they wash their hands of you.please can you tell me who to turn to.I'm tired of dealing with this man on my own and him getting away with everything.

Our Response:
Any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to court, please see link here. This should answer your question further.
SeparatedDads - 21-Mar-17 @ 1:39 PM
Can someone please give advice on how to write a statement to a S37 report? I am representing myself in the family court as I cannot get Legal Aid. My children are under a new local authority care as they are on a care plan under Emotional Abuse catagory. The social worker from the previous LA has been found guilty of lying and manipulating records and cherry picking evidence to favour my ex. As a result my children have suffered emotionally and things has been reported by the school. My children lived with me for sometime until my ex decided to pay for a court proceedings. The original interim order was so strict and unfavourable for the kids that the new LA got it varied. Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Stu - 21-Mar-17 @ 8:22 AM
My child's father keeps breech in the court order.He has done from day one.one of things is my child is not allowed to share a bed with any adult other than sibling.He shares a bed with a young woman and her two kids.He's done a lot more stuff aswell and verbally abusive to me all the time.I find that once a court order is in place they wash their hands of you.please can you tell me who to turn to.I'm tired of dealing with this man on my own and him getting away with everything.
Sue - 20-Mar-17 @ 7:15 PM
my ex has always shown up whenever he feels like it to see our child weve tried mediation which worked for about 2months then went back to how it was before where he just wouldnt turn up ans not contact me to let me know then say "slept through alarm" or "left phone somewhere". i took him to court and we got an order put in place which he stuck to for 2months until we went back to court then since that hes back to how he was doesnt turn up and can go a week without seeing our child or even contacting me. how can i get his access stopped? i feel every dad should have a right to see their child IF they can be bothered which he cant and its just going to affect our child waiting around for him to turn up then being let down
Aj - 8-Mar-17 @ 7:35 AM
I've had a court order with my ex for 10 years now. My sons nearly 16 & my daughter now 14. They go every weekend as per the order. They don't want to go every weekend now & don't get on with his new wife. They say horrible things to them about me which isn't fair on them. Is there anything I can do without having to go back to court as I can't afford to take him to court. My daughter gets upset & they have turned up at my house kicking off as got plans & it's not fair to let them down. I think it should be up to them now. Help.
Emmy - 4-Mar-17 @ 8:42 PM
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice...
Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Latest Comments
Further Reading...
Our Most Popular...
Add to my Yahoo!
Add to Google
Stumble this
Add to Twitter
Add To Facebook
RSS feed
You should seek independent professional advice before acting upon any information on the SeparatedDads website. Please read our Disclaimer.