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After the Initial Court Order

By: Abigail Taylor - Updated: 8 Jan 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Court Court Order Breaches Child Ex

Our three-part guide to 'Going to Court' covered all the issues you might experience throughout the court process. Many people experience issues after a court order has been made - and this guide "After the Initial Court Order" is aimed at helping you through difficulties following a court ruling.

Breaches of Court Orders

It is always important to keep a record of any breaches of a court order, however minor. Whilst it may not seem important at the time that a payment was a couple of days late or a couple of pounds short, these minor breaches all add up. A series of minor breaches on top of a more major breach of an order (such as a payment missed altogether) may be the evidence that makes a difference between a judge just giving your ex partner 'a telling off' and be told not to breach the order again, and the judge altering the order (to reduce contact or make them pay a month in advance).

You can keep a record however you like really, as long as you keep it safe. Below are a couple of popular choices:

  • Quick typed word document saved in a separate file on your computer
  • A small pocket diary kept just for the purposes of recording breaches
It is also important to keep track of any communication with your partner, even if it is just a 'courtesy call' in which there were no disagreements or agreements made. This will enable you to easily refer to exactly what was said (particularly if in person or over the phone) at a later date.

Your diary entries / notes don't have to be long.

For Example: 21/08/12 - Mark dropped Katy off at 8pm as agreed. He said she had been out with her friends at the shops all afternoon and had not had tea.

It is also worth if anything is agreed (in person or over the phone) to confirm this in writing (email is fine) with your ex partner. They do not have to reply, but they have then had the option to object if this was not their recollection of the situation.

Police Involvement in Court Order Breaches

The police generally won't get involved in breaches of court orders as it is a matter for the court to deal with. Even if your ex partner keeps your children for an extra couple of nights than they are meant to, this is not a matter for the police as the children are safe with someone who has parental responsibility. (Also consider whether you would want to upset your children by having the police come into the house and drag them away from your partner.)

If your ex partner repeatedly or seriously breaches the court order, you can apply to the courts to enforce the order. All contact orders after 2008 contain a warning about what could happen if an order is breached. If your order is breached, you need to ensure that you have an attached warning notice. You can then apply for enforcement of your order. The police will then only become involved if there are repeated serious breaches and the court punishes your ex partner via community service (or, in rare cases, imprisonment).

The police will not immediately get involved in enforcing a court order relating to children if they are with someone with parental responsibility, even if you make allegations of abuse. The correct procedure should you wish to make allegations of abuse is to make an emergency (same day) application to the courts. The police may then be used to enforce that court order, accompanying a Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) officer to remove children from a party's care.

Applying For a Change of Contact Arrangements

Clearly the easiest way to agree contact arrangements is between you and your ex partner, clarifying arrangements in writing. If this is the case and you wish to change your contact arrangements, you can simply ask to have a discussion with them and set new arrangements.

If however you have a court order detailing your contact arrangements, changing them is a little more tricky and you may need to apply to the courts again; a costly and lengthy process. The best way to deal with a change in arrangements, even if you currently have a court order is:

  • Talk to your ex partner and explain what you want to change and why. If it works out better for both of you they might not object.
  • Go your solicitor and draft a letter to your ex partner setting out the arrangements you wish to change in a more official manner on their letterhead.
  • If neither of the above has settled matters, apply to the courts to decide your contact arrangements again.

Going back to court takes time and money, so it is important to consider a) how important it is that you make changes to the current arrangements (especially if they work) and b) how major are your changes. If your changes are purely for convenience, but can still work now, then it is really not cost effective to take your ex partner back to court if they won't agree to them. Equally if your change is to which evening you have the children (e.g. Weds / Thurs) or what time they are returned (1pm / 2pm), there is also little point in taking this matter to court.

Remember the No Order Principle: the courts will not make an order, if the position is no worse if they don't make an order than if they do.

You should always aim to work together as parents and be reasonable. If you are on the receiving end of a request to change arrangements, consider if the request is reasonable and what effect it would have on you. If for example it is a change of day when you would be in all week anyway, then why object; objecting just to annoy your ex partner is never advisable as, like it or not, you have a long-standing relationship with them (until your child is 18!)

Parental Alienation

In some cases the child may state that they do not want to have any contact with the non resident parent, this is sometimes due to the fact that the resident parent has alienated the child from the other parent. This is known by some as parental alienation, this is a controversial pathological ailment most commonly claimed during divorce or separation of parents. Symptoms of parental alienation are expressed as unjustified extreme hatred for one parent.

Parental alienation remains a controversial condition in both the legal and medical professions, as similar symptoms can easily be brought on by negative comments by the other parent, or a child blaming one party (particularly if they were unfaithful) for the relationship breaking down.

Proving it in Court

Generally legal advice would always be not to plead parental alienation in court. Judges like evidence based submissions, so if you are claiming a medical (psychological) condition, the judge will want to see a medical report to prove this. This is not the sort of report a regular GP would be able to give, so would be expensive to obtain, and many medical professionals (much like with conditions such as ME) don't recognise it as a "real" medical problem.

The best way to effectively plead parental alienation would be to produce evidence in court of your child's behaviour being unsubstantiated or unreasonable. You essentially want the judge to give the wishes of your child (one item on the welfare checklist) little weight. You are far more likely to achieve this by demonstrating how good a parent you are and your closeness with your child before the separation to show how their sudden hatred is irrational. Often mention of "parental alienation syndrome", a condition proposed by controversial American psychiatrist Richard Gardner, will damage an otherwise valid point.

SUMMARY:

  • Parental Alienation Syndrome is highly controversial
  • Many medics and lawyers do not accept it exists
  • You are more likely to succeed by proving that behaviour is irrational / influenced by the other party using evidence

Applying For a Change of Contact Arrangements

Clearly the easiest way to agree contact arrangements is between you and your ex partner, clarifying arrangements in writing. If this is the case and you wish to change your contact arrangements, you can simply ask to have a discussion with them and set new arrangements.

If however you have a court order detailing your contact arrangements, changing them is a little more tricky and you may need to apply to the courts again; a costly and lengthy process. The best way to deal with a change in arrangements, even if you currently have a court order is:

  • Talk to your ex partner and explain what you want to change and why. If it works out better for both of you they might not object
  • Go your solicitor and draft a letter to your ex partner setting out the arrangements you wish to change in a more official manner on their letterhead
  • If neither of the above has settled matters, apply to the courts to decide your contact arrangements again

Going back to court takes time and money, so it is important to consider a) how important it is that you make changes to the current arrangements (especially if they work) and b) how major are your changes. If your changes are purely for convenience, but can still work now, then it is really not cost effective to take your ex partner back to court if they won't agree to them. Equally if your change is to which evening you have the children (e.g. Weds / Thurs) or what time they are returned (1pm / 2pm), there is also little point in taking this matter to court.

Remember the No Order Principle: the courts will not make an order, if the position is no worse if they don't make an order than if they do.

You should always aim to work together as parents and be reasonable. If you are on the receiving end of a request to change arrangements, consider if the request is reasonable and what effect it would have on you. If for example it is a change of day when you would be in all week anyway, then why object; objecting just to annoy your ex partner is never advisable as, like it or not, you have a long-standing relationship with them (until your child is 18!)

SUMMARY:

  • Only resort to changes through the courts if you have to
  • If changes are opposed consider carefully whether they are strictly necessary before applying to the courts

Sample Letters

We've produced 10 sample letters to help you communicate with your ex and with the various authorities to help you achieve a positive outcome with any issues relating to your children. You find them here:

After court letters part one.

After court letters, part two.

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[Add a Comment]
Burt - Your Question:
My ex walked out on me an my 3 children last year she took me to court just for access, I agreed with cafcas for the arrangement order and last June she ran away with the children, over 60 miles moved my children's school, house, everything they know! It is all going through court but she has breached the order and now not turned up to court twice, this will be the 3rd time she doesn't show if she doesn't turn up on the 24th of Jan. What will be the outcome if she keeps repeating this?

Our Response:
Please see link: Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do, here. Yes, we are in agreement with Jem's comment below. It may seem a futile battle currently, but make sure you persevere. It will hopefully be all worth it in the long run.
SeparatedDads - 9-Jan-17 @ 2:08 PM
@Burt - It is very much worth continuing to take the matter through court as your ex can only run for so long. She's wasting the court's time and the fact she has moved without your consent (if you have PR), is also flouting the law. The courts can inflict a prison sentence or fine a person if they continue to be in 'contempt'. So keep going buddy, you'll get your access in the end if Cafcass has recommended it. The courts can even make an order to bring your ex back to the area if they choose. You have the upper hand here, so keep on with the good fight. Jem.
JOwen - 9-Jan-17 @ 2:06 PM
My ex walked out on me an my 3 children last year she took me to court just for access, I agreed with cafcas for the arrangement order and last June she ran away with the children, over 60 miles moved my children's school, house, everything they know! It is all going through court but she has breached the order and now not turned up to court twice, this will be the 3rd time she doesn't show if she doesn't turn up on the 24th of Jan. What will be the outcome if she keeps repeating this?
Burt - 8-Jan-17 @ 11:58 PM
I have a final courtorder in place. I went to pick my son up christmas day at the court ordered time 3pm. He was not made available. This was a clear breach. What normally should happen from here will the court do something about this?
bob - 25-Dec-16 @ 1:15 PM
I'm speechless, I can't even be bothered to say what I've been through, I have my court hearing on the 20th of January,"(The law is a joke for the dad's )"
Aaron - 24-Dec-16 @ 11:33 PM
sausage party - Your Question:
My consent order is 5 years old. I agreed to pay a certain amount monthly based on the fact that my ex had custody and I had access. However since then I now have our child on a joint custody basis but I still pay money to my ex. She will not allow me to pay less as she says I would be in breach of the order. also part of the order says that the order is only enforceable until the former joint property was sold, which it now has. I believe I should now pay no money to my ex at all based on the 50/50 split on access. How do I change the order? thanks, STuart.

Our Response:
Please be mindful that should you decide to stop child maintenance payments without consent, your ex could revert to the original terms of the order and attempt to restrict access. Therefore, legal advice is advisable here and/or asking your ex to attend mediation in order to resolve the issue, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 22-Dec-16 @ 10:06 AM
My consent order is 5 years old. I agreed to pay a certain amount monthly based on the fact that my ex had custody and I had access. However since then I now have our child on a joint custody basis but I still pay money to my ex. She will not allow me to pay less as she says I would be in breach of the order. also part of the order says that the order is only enforceable until the former joint property was sold, which it now has. I believe I should now pay no money to my ex at all based on the 50/50 split on access. How do i change the order? thanks, STuart.
sausage party - 21-Dec-16 @ 3:45 PM
Sad-Mummy - Your Question:
Hi, I have a contact order with my ex partner for our daughter. When we were in court last 2 years ago, her Barrister advised that the order was just a starting point and that we would be able to work together to give me more time. I had been the stay at home parent at the time, but because of my ex hadn't seen our daughter for 7 months, so I agreed. How ever I only get 2 hours every Wednesday and a full Weekend fortnightly. My ex has planned activities on the Wednesdays and every Saturday, which I take Part in for our daughter. However my daughter has been asking for the last year for more time with me and for the last 2 months been very tearful about it. We have talked and she said she would like to now stay over on a Wednesday and the Sunday of my weekends, I have emailed my ex-partner and put this to her 3 times and she has said no. Last Wednesdays my daughter had a proper melt down and I feel that for both of us we need more time. I need to draft a letter/email, but I am unsure as to what I need to put into it and how to ask so that she is aware that if she says no again I will be going back to court to seek more time and putting in a time for her to respond by.I think if it does end up in court I would have to apply for a variance to the order, its just getting there and writing a good email that I am struggling with.

Our Response:
A solicitor's letter outlining the details of the original court order and your ex's refusal to work with you in trying to extend access may help. The letter could suggest that you attend mediation in order to come to a mutual resolution. It is sometimes worth paying the money for this, as it will give written evidence the court (if you need to take the matter back there), that you are being fair, but also you desire more time with your child and think it is in your child's best interests to develop your relationship further (as recommended by the original court order). I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 14-Dec-16 @ 10:47 AM
Hi, I have a contact order with my ex partner for our daughter. When we were in court last 2 years ago, her Barrister advised that the order was just a starting point and that we would be able to work together to give me more time. I had been the stay at home parentat the time, but because of my ex hadn't seen our daughter for 7 months, so I agreed. How ever I only get 2 hours every Wednesday and a full Weekend fortnightly. My ex has planned activities on the Wednesdays and every Saturday, which I take Part in for our daughter. However my daughter has been asking for the last year for more time with me and for the last 2 months been very tearful about it. We have talked and she said she would like to now stay over on a Wednesday and the Sunday of my weekends, I have emailed my ex-partner and put this to her 3 times and she has said no. Last Wednesdays my daughter had a proper melt down and I feel that for both of us we need more time. I need to draft a letter/email, but I am unsure as to what I need to put into it and how to ask so that she is aware that if she says no again I will be going back to court to seek more time and putting in a time for her to respond by. I think if it does end up in court I would have to apply for a variance to the order, its just getting there and writing a good email that I am struggling with.
Sad-Mummy - 13-Dec-16 @ 1:26 PM
Pip9901 - Your Question:
My ex and I have a court order in place, which has never been adhered to finicially and later on the access was not adhered yo either. My court order is approx 10 yrs old. Am I able to go back to court for non payment of child maintenance or I have left it too late? My children are now 17 &15.

Our Response:
I think in this case I would seek some legal advice before you apply to court as much depends upon your ex's financial means. If your ex has avoided paying whilst having an income, then you may have a case. If your ex hasn't paid i.e because he has been unemployed, then there would be little you could do in order to pursue the claim.
SeparatedDads - 12-Dec-16 @ 11:59 AM
My ex and I have a court order in place, which has never been adhered to finicially and later on the access was not adhered yo either. My court order is approx 10 yrs old. Am I able to go back to court for non payment of child maintenance or I have left it too late? My children are now 17 &15.
Pip9901 - 11-Dec-16 @ 8:57 AM
Sparkle - Your Question:
Hi me & my ex have a court order for our daughter. Over the course of seven years it's been a nightmare. He's always blamed me for everything & even after our daughter said she doesn't like sleepin at her dads the courts & cafcass say she must. I've never been obstructivery and encouraged her. However recently she's told me that her dad has said if she says anything to anyone about him she will have to live with him permanently which of course has upset her and she's frightened to say anything cause he's told her he will find out and she will live with him. He said she won't like that so has to not say anything. She gets upset when going and whilst she's with him. Please can you advise

Our Response:
If you stop contact you will be in breach of the contact order, please see link here which would mean your ex could take the matter back to court to have the order enforced. Therefore, I suggest you seek legal advice in order to explore your options if you decide to breach the order by stopping contact.
SeparatedDads - 9-Dec-16 @ 12:07 PM
Hi me & my ex have a court order for our daughter. Over the course of seven years it's been a nightmare. He's always blamed me for everything & even after our daughter said she doesn't likesleepin at her dads the courts & cafcass say she must. I've never been obstructivery and encouraged her. However recently she's told me that her dad has said if she says anything to anyone about him she will have to live with him permanently which of course has upset her and she's frightened to say anything cause he's told her he will find out and she will live with him. He said she won't like that so has to not say anything.She gets upset when going and whilst she's with him. Please can you advise
Sparkle - 8-Dec-16 @ 10:36 PM
ray6666 - Your Question:
Hi ive been having my daughter for 2 years now having her once in week stay over after school and taking her to school and one over night stay at weekend this happens every week contact broke down when she was 2 and I didnt see her for three years now that ive been seeing her for two and a half years we have a solid relationship and she has a stable routine now my ex has said she want my daighter not to see me anymore will a court give me the contact back in writing that I had

Our Response:
If contact has been frequent and consistent and your ex has no good reason why she has stopped contact, then it is likely the courts will re-issue the contact via a contact order. However, if you already have a contact order in place, then if your ex has breached this, you can take this back to court to have the order enforced, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 8-Dec-16 @ 2:49 PM
Hi ive been having my daughter for 2 years now having her once in week stay over after school and taking her to school and one over night stay at weekend this happens every week contact broke down when she was 2 and i didnt see her for three years now that ive been seeing her for two and a half years we have a solid relationship and she has a stable routine now my ex has said she want my daighter not to see me anymore will a court give me the contact back in writing that i had
ray6666 - 2-Dec-16 @ 6:02 PM
A court order was given specifying Saturday night overnights with me. Before the date of the first overnight had even been reached, my ex and I mutually agreed to change this to Friday nights. This mutual agreement was confirmed by her lawyer ( I had none). She now wishes to change back unilaterally to Fridays, and her lawyer claims that if the mutually agreed amendment has"broken down" I am legally obliged to accept a reversion to the "fallback" default of the court order. Is this legal fact?
Haggis - 24-Nov-16 @ 6:00 AM
Hi, i have divorce my ex... and since separated she has been so difficult with the tine that i spend with my two boys... we came to a sort of agreement with a mediator to have the kids collected from school once a week and return them at 6, wich i find absolutely poor, as by the time they finish ah their tea i have to take them to her.. and we also agree to have them overnight every two weeks in a saturday night... we also agreed to a phone call 3 times a week at 5pm...wich all of this was a better deal than vefore when i was having to see them once a week for 2 hours and i couldbt take them to my home and also she wouldnt allow me to be by myself with them..... to all of this, she always has the last word, so when i call my kids she wouldn't answer or she would distract them i cant speak properly with them, she always demands things but i don't get my rights with my kids... why do i just need to follow everything that she says but i get no saying into my kids... or better quality time with them??!!!
Jlop - 18-Nov-16 @ 8:18 PM
clinton - Your Question:
Can anyone advise me please? Contact arrangements were set by the court for 2016 but for 2017. my ex wants to change them. This will be a breach of the order. Can I write to the court now (C79 Enforcement Procedure) saying that this is what she wants to do, or do I have to wait until an actual breach of the order takes place in spring next year?peter

Our Response:
Please see link: Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do, here which explains more fully what constitutes a serious breach. Rather than taking the matter to court, a solicitor's letter reminding your ex of the obligations of the court order and what may happen if she makes the breach might be suffice to make sure she keeps to the order.
SeparatedDads - 14-Nov-16 @ 3:06 PM
Can anyone advise me please? Contact arrangements were set by the court for 2016 but for 2017. my ex wants to change them. This will be a breach of the order. Can I write to the court now (C79 Enforcement Procedure) saying that this is what she wants to do, or do I have to wait until an actual breach of the order takes place in spring next year? peter
clinton - 14-Nov-16 @ 11:55 AM
Random1234 - Your Question:
I have a court order in place for my son. I have taken his mother to court twice due to her constantly breaking it. I told her and the court that we was moving to Cambridge and I have to provide an address when known. Anyways this past weekend we went to Cambridge and I told her on the friday that she would need to collect my son from Cambridge and she declined and refused to travel their. Instead picking going out and getting drunk over traveling to pick our son up. The court order is I pick him up at the start of the school holiday and she collects him at the end of the school holiday. My partner is pregnant so it delayed moving as she has been bleeding and she works and her kids attend school and I also work. We have to work around our current commitments and visit cambridge for houses jobs etc when we are all off work and school and this means I have my son with me. I let his mother know with 48 hours notice of why we are here and new collection and she declined to come and pick him up. She then went ro my house in my current town and said she had rang the police and courts would be in touch tomorrow (monday) and shes changing the court order and ive broken the court order and then went on to threaten me, got personal saying she wants him to be nit free and healthy (he eats well and never has nits) mother senda him in clothes to small for him, nits and bad attitude and he stinks of cigarette smoke etc. Shes even gone as far as saying my partner kids give my child infections. Anyways she has been nothing but personal and difficult. I want to know who is in the wrong. Am I in the wrong for coming here when I want to move here and before the baby is born and she knows this or is she in the wrong for refusing to collect him and having enough notice to change her plans. I had to change my plans and come back to my current town as she sais that is where she is and then changed it to I drop him home (dorset) I offered her mutiple times to meet and hand him over so I could return back to Cambridge and she continued to refuse. He has now missed school today because she has refused to get him and is blaming me and saying im facing a fine, community service or prison. I have a vaild reason for being in Cambridge and I gave her notice so who is actually in the wrong and what do I do if she carries on refusing to collect him and he stays with me. I don't want to lose seeing my son over this. Please help

Our Response:
It sounds as though things have spiralled a little out of control. If the court order states your ex is supposed to pick your son up frm a particular place, then she has to comply with this. Please see link: Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do, here. However, there is room for negotiation and each parent should do what they can in order to comply with the order as much as possible, with regards to what is in the best interests of your child, not regarding what is in the interests of each parent. The courts are not interested in the parent's spats, but only in the child's welfare. Therefore, ensuring your child was taken to school should have been the top priority here, not who should and who shouldn't pick him up.
SeparatedDads - 1-Nov-16 @ 10:45 AM
Lou - Your Question:
Hi what happens if one parent has a supervised contact order for the other parent and they brake the court order by allowing the other parent to have child overnight unsupervised ?

Our Response:
Please see link: Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do, here, which should answer your question.
SeparatedDads - 31-Oct-16 @ 1:54 PM
I have a court order in place for my son. I have taken his mother to court twice due to her constantly breaking it. I told her and the court that we was moving to Cambridge and I have to provide an address when known. Anyways this past weekend we went to Cambridge and I told her on the friday that she would need to collect my son from Cambridge and she declined and refused to travel their. Instead picking going out and getting drunk over traveling to pick our son up. The court order is I pick him up at the start of the school holiday and she collects him at the end of the school holiday. My partner is pregnant so it delayed moving as she has been bleeding and she works and her kids attend school and I also work. We have to work around our current commitments and visit cambridge for houses jobs etc when we are all off work and school and this means I have my son with me. I let his mother know with 48 hours notice of why we are here and new collection and she declined to come and pick him up. She then went ro my house in my current town and said she had rang the police and courts would be in touch tomorrow (monday) and shes changing the court order and ive broken the court order and then went on to threaten me, got personal saying she wants him to be nit free and healthy (he eats well and never has nits) mother senda him in clothes to small for him, nits and bad attitude and he stinks of cigarette smoke etc. Shes even gone as far as saying my partner kids give my child infections. Anyways she has been nothing but personal and difficult. I want to know who is in the wrong. Am I in the wrong for coming here when I want to move here and before the baby is born and she knows this or is she in the wrong for refusing to collect him and having enough notice to change her plans. I had to change my plans and come back to my current town as she sais that is where she is and then changed it to I drop him home (dorset) I offered her mutiple times to meet and hand him over so I could return back to Cambridge and she continued to refuse. He has now missed school today because she has refused to get him and is blaming me and saying im facing a fine, community service or prison. I have a vaild reason for being in Cambridge and I gave her notice so who is actually in the wrong and what do I do if she carries on refusing to collect him and he stays with me. I don't want to lose seeing my son over this. Please help
Random1234 - 31-Oct-16 @ 8:22 AM
Hi what happens if one parent has a supervised contact order for the other parent and they brake the court order by allowing the other parent to have child overnight unsupervised ?
Lou - 29-Oct-16 @ 11:29 AM
I have previously been to court and in the negotiations beforehand with the solicitor my ex partner agreed to double barrelled my lo surname so this was not put in court order. my ex is now refusing to to sign the form were do I stand with this please help
ljd - 5-Oct-16 @ 8:33 PM
keentoresolve - Your Question:
Hi there,Have an order in place for my 3 year old that states to spend every other weekend with his father. Father recently changed from a mon-fri job to shift work on lower pay, as this better fits in with his living arrangements now that he has a new child. This has not only significantly dropped the maintenance he pays for our son, but means that most of his weekends, he is in the care of his step mum (who I have never met) instead of dad. I also work mon - fri, so effectively feel I am sacrificing time to someone who does not have parental rights over our son. I also have concerns about him spending so much time in her care as his father has previously told me that she is passive aggressive towards our boy due to jealousy issues about him having a child with someone else.I have asked him to be forthright about his shift pattern so that we can arrange contact on weekends when he is not working - but for unknown reasons he is not agreeable to this. I have asked him to reconsider arrangements for Christmas day (order states to swap but for various reasons I don't think this best suits our son), which he originally verbally agreed to, but now won't commit to in writing.I have been flexible a number of times to accommodate his working hours (dropping off/picking up etc) but now feel I have been duped. I am unsure as to whether it would be worth taking the matter back to court to have arrangements re: Christmas altered and also whether I can have a minimum amount ordered for him to pay in maintenance (he has dropped it twice in the last year by voluntarily taking lower paid jobs).Any advice on my situation is gratefully received.

Our Response:
Our other article: Breach of Court or Residence Order - What to do? here should help answer your question.
SeparatedDads - 28-Sep-16 @ 2:37 PM
Hi there, Have an order in place for my 3 year old that states to spend every other weekend with his father. Father recently changed from a mon-fri job to shift work on lower pay, as this better fits in with his living arrangements now that he has a new child. This has not only significantly dropped the maintenance he pays for our son, but means that most of his weekends, he is in the care of his step mum (who I have never met) instead of dad. I also work mon - fri, so effectively feel I am sacrificing time to someone who does not have parental rights over our son. I also have concerns about him spending so much time in her care as his father has previously told me that she is passive aggressive towards our boy due to jealousy issues about him having a child with someone else... I have asked him to be forthright about his shift pattern so that we can arrange contact on weekends when he is not working - but for unknown reasons he is not agreeable to this. I have asked him to reconsider arrangements for Christmas day (order states to swap but for various reasons I don't think this best suits our son), which he originally verbally agreed to, but now won't commit to in writing... I have been flexible a number of times to accommodate his working hours (dropping off/picking up etc) but now feel I have been duped. I am unsure as to whether it would be worth taking the matter back to court to have arrangements re: Christmas altered and also whether I can have a minimum amount ordered for him to pay in maintenance (he has dropped it twice in the last year by voluntarily taking lower paid jobs). Any advice on my situation is gratefully received.
keentoresolve - 27-Sep-16 @ 3:44 PM
After 13 years in my son's life I separated from his mother,,,after months of hell I took her to court to gain access to my son, the judge ordered 4 hrs per week. Which I thought was pretty poor as there is no reason other than my ex can't stand the fact ive moved on and wants to hurt me as best she can! So at the child walfare hearing 4 hrs was ordered by the judge and this has to be when my sister is present! Again no reasoning as ive actually done nothing wrong!But I will do anything start anyware so I do not miss any more time with him! His mother tried to commit suicide.... And I'm the bad parent!! I just don't get it!! So it's been 2 weeks and still nothing...I've had no visit..no times offered...and now my lawyer is telling me after 2 weeks.. tells me that my ex has changed lawyer...as she didn't understand what happened in the walfare hearing!!! Surely this is contempt of court! She's breaking the court order. Not giving me the access to my boy...surely the judge will see that my ex is not promoting a healthy relationship between my son and me!!! Is it possible that she has the right to break this order... What am I meant to do....my lawyer just talks about how much my fees are. Still no results...I have now missed my son's birthday.. First time in 13 years and his first day at high school....my ex also change his school..I don't even know what school he's at...can any one give me advice or help.... His mother was commited to the phsyciatric unit after her suicide attempt..however I'm the one being held back from his son.. I just dont get it.. The more time goes by the more worried i am about my son's walfare....and state of mind....
troubles - 23-Sep-16 @ 12:28 AM
I have court next week and received my ex's parental questionnaire in the post today , the first 4 box's on the first page of the questionnaire was filled out by my ex but the rest of the form was filled out from recognizing the writing of my 15 yr old daughter.My ex has signed and dated it themselves and nowhere does it state on the form that its not being completed by my ex..... its a legal form i didn't think it would be allowed to be filled out by my 15 yr old daughter . Do i inform the court about this , as my ex has been emotionally brainwashing my daughter against me and even brought her to court and made her wait outside and bring coffee to them whilst we waited to go into court. Any help would be appreciated.
Mastergamer - 18-Sep-16 @ 1:52 PM
Ray you have any luck I'm just gone to collect my son and mother picked him up at half 2, on my day in the court order.
#downriver.... - 13-Sep-16 @ 3:50 PM
jodie - Your Question:
Hi. My son is divorced with 3 daughters. He has just been ordered to pay maintenance for all 3 girls + his ex until the youngest leaves university. The youngest is presently 12 yrs old. The oldest is 19, which means he will be paying for her until her late 20's. Neither the eldest nor the youngest live with their mother. Is this right?

Our Response:
If the court has ordered this, then yes. However, normally a court order for maintenance usually lasts until a child leaves further education. It doesn't matter who his daughters live with, he is still deemed responsible for their day-to-day financial welfare.
SeparatedDads - 13-Sep-16 @ 11:47 AM
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