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After the Initial Court Order

By: Abigail Taylor - Updated: 10 Oct 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Court Court Order Breaches Child Ex

Our three-part guide to 'Going to Court' covered all the issues you might experience throughout the court process. Many people experience issues after a court order has been made - and this guide "After the Initial Court Order" is aimed at helping you through difficulties following a court ruling.

Breaches of Court Orders

It is always important to keep a record of any breaches of a court order, however minor. Whilst it may not seem important at the time that a payment was a couple of days late or a couple of pounds short, these minor breaches all add up. A series of minor breaches on top of a more major breach of an order (such as a payment missed altogether) may be the evidence that makes a difference between a judge just giving your ex partner 'a telling off' and be told not to breach the order again, and the judge altering the order (to reduce contact or make them pay a month in advance).

You can keep a record however you like really, as long as you keep it safe. Below are a couple of popular choices:

  • Quick typed word document saved in a separate file on your computer
  • A small pocket diary kept just for the purposes of recording breaches
It is also important to keep track of any communication with your partner, even if it is just a 'courtesy call' in which there were no disagreements or agreements made. This will enable you to easily refer to exactly what was said (particularly if in person or over the phone) at a later date.

Your diary entries / notes don't have to be long.

For Example: 21/08/12 - Mark dropped Katy off at 8pm as agreed. He said she had been out with her friends at the shops all afternoon and had not had tea.

It is also worth if anything is agreed (in person or over the phone) to confirm this in writing (email is fine) with your ex partner. They do not have to reply, but they have then had the option to object if this was not their recollection of the situation.

Police Involvement in Court Order Breaches

The police generally won't get involved in breaches of court orders as it is a matter for the court to deal with. Even if your ex partner keeps your children for an extra couple of nights than they are meant to, this is not a matter for the police as the children are safe with someone who has parental responsibility. (Also consider whether you would want to upset your children by having the police come into the house and drag them away from your partner.)

If your ex partner repeatedly or seriously breaches the court order, you can apply to the courts to enforce the order. All contact orders after 2008 contain a warning about what could happen if an order is breached. If your order is breached, you need to ensure that you have an attached warning notice. You can then apply for enforcement of your order. The police will then only become involved if there are repeated serious breaches and the court punishes your ex partner via community service (or, in rare cases, imprisonment).

The police will not immediately get involved in enforcing a court order relating to children if they are with someone with parental responsibility, even if you make allegations of abuse. The correct procedure should you wish to make allegations of abuse is to make an emergency (same day) application to the courts. The police may then be used to enforce that court order, accompanying a Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) officer to remove children from a party's care.

Applying For a Change of Contact Arrangements

Clearly the easiest way to agree contact arrangements is between you and your ex partner, clarifying arrangements in writing. If this is the case and you wish to change your contact arrangements, you can simply ask to have a discussion with them and set new arrangements.

If however you have a court order detailing your contact arrangements, changing them is a little more tricky and you may need to apply to the courts again; a costly and lengthy process. The best way to deal with a change in arrangements, even if you currently have a court order is:

  • Talk to your ex partner and explain what you want to change and why. If it works out better for both of you they might not object.
  • Go your solicitor and draft a letter to your ex partner setting out the arrangements you wish to change in a more official manner on their letterhead.
  • If neither of the above has settled matters, apply to the courts to decide your contact arrangements again.

Going back to court takes time and money, so it is important to consider a) how important it is that you make changes to the current arrangements (especially if they work) and b) how major are your changes. If your changes are purely for convenience, but can still work now, then it is really not cost effective to take your ex partner back to court if they won't agree to them. Equally if your change is to which evening you have the children (e.g. Weds / Thurs) or what time they are returned (1pm / 2pm), there is also little point in taking this matter to court.

Remember the No Order Principle: the courts will not make an order, if the position is no worse if they don't make an order than if they do.

You should always aim to work together as parents and be reasonable. If you are on the receiving end of a request to change arrangements, consider if the request is reasonable and what effect it would have on you. If for example it is a change of day when you would be in all week anyway, then why object; objecting just to annoy your ex partner is never advisable as, like it or not, you have a long-standing relationship with them (until your child is 18!)

Parental Alienation

In some cases the child may state that they do not want to have any contact with the non resident parent, this is sometimes due to the fact that the resident parent has alienated the child from the other parent. This is known by some as parental alienation, this is a controversial pathological ailment most commonly claimed during divorce or separation of parents. Symptoms of parental alienation are expressed as unjustified extreme hatred for one parent.

Parental alienation remains a controversial condition in both the legal and medical professions, as similar symptoms can easily be brought on by negative comments by the other parent, or a child blaming one party (particularly if they were unfaithful) for the relationship breaking down.

Proving it in Court

Generally legal advice would always be not to plead parental alienation in court. Judges like evidence based submissions, so if you are claiming a medical (psychological) condition, the judge will want to see a medical report to prove this. This is not the sort of report a regular GP would be able to give, so would be expensive to obtain, and many medical professionals (much like with conditions such as ME) don't recognise it as a "real" medical problem.

The best way to effectively plead parental alienation would be to produce evidence in court of your child's behaviour being unsubstantiated or unreasonable. You essentially want the judge to give the wishes of your child (one item on the welfare checklist) little weight. You are far more likely to achieve this by demonstrating how good a parent you are and your closeness with your child before the separation to show how their sudden hatred is irrational. Often mention of "parental alienation syndrome", a condition proposed by controversial American psychiatrist Richard Gardner, will damage an otherwise valid point.

SUMMARY:

  • Parental Alienation Syndrome is highly controversial
  • Many medics and lawyers do not accept it exists
  • You are more likely to succeed by proving that behaviour is irrational / influenced by the other party using evidence

Applying For a Change of Contact Arrangements

Clearly the easiest way to agree contact arrangements is between you and your ex partner, clarifying arrangements in writing. If this is the case and you wish to change your contact arrangements, you can simply ask to have a discussion with them and set new arrangements.

If however you have a court order detailing your contact arrangements, changing them is a little more tricky and you may need to apply to the courts again; a costly and lengthy process. The best way to deal with a change in arrangements, even if you currently have a court order is:

  • Talk to your ex partner and explain what you want to change and why. If it works out better for both of you they might not object
  • Go your solicitor and draft a letter to your ex partner setting out the arrangements you wish to change in a more official manner on their letterhead
  • If neither of the above has settled matters, apply to the courts to decide your contact arrangements again

Going back to court takes time and money, so it is important to consider a) how important it is that you make changes to the current arrangements (especially if they work) and b) how major are your changes. If your changes are purely for convenience, but can still work now, then it is really not cost effective to take your ex partner back to court if they won't agree to them. Equally if your change is to which evening you have the children (e.g. Weds / Thurs) or what time they are returned (1pm / 2pm), there is also little point in taking this matter to court.

Remember the No Order Principle: the courts will not make an order, if the position is no worse if they don't make an order than if they do.

You should always aim to work together as parents and be reasonable. If you are on the receiving end of a request to change arrangements, consider if the request is reasonable and what effect it would have on you. If for example it is a change of day when you would be in all week anyway, then why object; objecting just to annoy your ex partner is never advisable as, like it or not, you have a long-standing relationship with them (until your child is 18!)

SUMMARY:

  • Only resort to changes through the courts if you have to
  • If changes are opposed consider carefully whether they are strictly necessary before applying to the courts

Sample Letters

We've produced 10 sample letters to help you communicate with your ex and with the various authorities to help you achieve a positive outcome with any issues relating to your children. You find them here:

After court letters part one.

After court letters, part two.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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The final (out of 5) custody hearing, where my ex was to apply to be the main carer for the two gilrs was to take place on this coming 23rd October. Her wish to become the primary carer was so as to not have to pay me the money, and to make my life more financially difficult. She has always sought more time from the courts to prepare her case, and has been granted time extensions by the court several times before, always being warned "this is the last time". She has now sent me an email saying she now only wants to see them 4 nights every month, cannot commit to specific dates, and despite the £90k salary, cannot afford wrap around child care. The October hearing was to determine her petition to become the full time carer. This whole thing was designed to cause me maximum stress and difficulty. Is it possible to have the intent of the original application stayed or enforced by the court so she becomes the full time carer and the gilrls stop being messed around? Thanks for any thoughts on this
Primrose Hillbilly - 10-Oct-18 @ 6:44 PM
Hi, I've got a court order to see my 2 daughter's but my ex has moved one of them out of the school I knew she was at, and now I don't know where she is so I can't get photos or school reports. He's not told me he was gonna move her. She's 10 and I'm scared ill never see her again now. My court order was in 2011.I can't afford top go back to court or pay £200 Just for a letter from my solicitor. And now they've stopped legal aid. What can I do? Please
Lotty - 8-Oct-18 @ 1:12 PM
My ex and I was in court because of her very heavy and erratic drinking. She is a binge alcoholic basically and once she starts she won’t stop, whatever time of day it is. The court case went on for almost two years whilst I had the kids with me for 2 years whilst she had supervised contact. After 3 months of clear testing the court gave her 3 days per week overnight. After 3 months of the order she literally went back to her old ways and has been up and down constantly. My kids routine keep having to change and ideally they need stability now for school. My question is what will the court do if I apply to the court to vary the order? Will they just keep giving her chances or will they cut her days down to possibly once per week and that be the end of it?
Al - 19-Sep-18 @ 9:11 PM
Zoe27 - Your Question:
Hey. Looking for a bit of advice. In 2010, a court order was placed for my daughter's father to see her every other Saturday for 2 hours (she was 3 at the time) after a year or so we upped contact until he was having her every Saturday day and night. THis lasted 2-3 years, with not much drama. the past 3ish years have been hit and miss with contact, he comes and goes as he pleased. Last year she went up there at 7am for me to go to work and he stayed in bed asleep ALL day, my daughter made her own dinner and asked me to pick her up, I picked her up at 5pm and he came down the stairs as I was leaving with her. Then he didn't ask to see her for 6 months, missing her 10th birthday. He asked to see her just before Xmas, I met up with him, told him the effect it has on our daughter and gave him one last chance. He was doing well for 3 months, then didn't pick her up when be said he would, then when she was staying over, he disappeared in the night and didn't come back until the evening the next day! Luckily he lives with his parents. Then he didn't turn up to take my daughter to a family party, then his mum (Who hates me) text me to tell me she didn't think he was in a fit state to be around our daughter. He is using drugs. What and when I don't know. But my question is, as he has gone against the court order so many times over the years and now it is unsafe for my daughter to be around him, legally can I say no if he asks to see her (he never asks because he doesn't care about seeing her). I don't want to be forking out £250 to change the court order when he doesn't care about seeing her anyway, I just need to know where I stand legally. Thanks in advance :) x

Our Response:
Your only recourse would be to either breach the court order and stop access. However, you will risk being taken to court, please see the link here . Refer the matter to court yourself, or suggest mediation as a way of trying to solve the issues out between you. The court would prefer if you chose the latter option in the first instance.
SeparatedDads - 18-Sep-18 @ 3:26 PM
@zoe27.i think he does care about his child .i think his mother hates you with( good reason )and the only one not in a fit state is (you) .i think you are alienating the father and twisting everything around to make the( father look bad) .becuase you know you are in the wrong and feel( awkward with guilt) because your lieing hasbeen exposed for a (scheming vindictive jealous ex )because your ex (upgraded from you) .and the only way you feel in control is stopping access to his child you women are all the same text book .
Ted bundy - 17-Sep-18 @ 10:41 PM
Hey. Looking for a bit of advice. In 2010, a court order was placed for my daughter's father to see her every other Saturday for 2 hours (she was 3 at the time) after a year or so we upped contact until he was having her every Saturday day and night. THis lasted 2-3 years, with not much drama.. the past 3ish years have been hit and miss with contact, he comes and goes as he pleased. Last year she went up there at 7am for me to go to work and he stayed in bed asleep ALL day, my daughter made her own dinner and asked me to pick her up, I picked her up at 5pm and he came down the stairs as I was leaving with her. Then he didn't ask to see her for 6 months, missing her 10th birthday. He asked to see her just before Xmas, I met up with him, told him the effect it has on our daughter and gave him one last chance. He was doing well for 3 months, then didn't pick her up when be said he would, then when she was staying over, he disappeared in the night and didn't come back until the evening the next day! Luckily he lives with his parents. Then he didn't turn up to take my daughter to a family party, then his mum (Who hates me) text me to tell me she didn't think he was in a fit state to be around our daughter... He is using drugs. What and when I don't know. But my question is, as he has gone against the court order so many times over the years and now it is unsafe for my daughter to be around him, legally can I say no if he asks to see her (he never asks because he doesn't care about seeing her)... I don't want to be forking out £250 to change the court order when he doesn't care about seeing her anyway, I just need to know where I stand legally. Thanks in advance :) x
Zoe27 - 17-Sep-18 @ 2:39 PM
Sandy89 - Your Question:
Hi, my ex and I couldn’t agree over several issues such the child’s surname (has mine since birth 3 years ago but ex wants his name used), where our child will live And what contact arrangements to follow. A child arrangement order was made with myself and the child able to live abroad in (both child and I are Belgians and my ex is British residing in England) and her father was to visit monthly and the name would not be changed. One of the conditions of the court order was for the father to register the court order abroad where I live and that the courts in Belgium has jurisdiction over PR and family matters involving our child. To date, he has not registered the court order, not visited regularly (only visited once and there are no plans for future visits) but had sent me an email stating he will put himself on the English birth certificate and change our child’s name in England and that he is fully capable to do so without my consent. My understanding is that if he wanted to change any of the agreements made in the order then we would need to go back to court, is this correct? My concern is that I’m being told he can go and change whatever he likes without going back to court even though we went to court to agree on these matters and now he’s changed his mind and I’m concerned how it works as we are an international family with different laws in each country. As far as I am aware, because he has not registered and activated the court order in Belgium, it does not apply here but would apply if my child and I were to be in England for any length of time although there are no plans to go to England.

Our Response:
Your child's father would not be able to change the contact order and/or agreement unless he referred the matter back to court. It is highly unlikely a court would agree to make the changes he is suggesting.
SeparatedDads - 13-Sep-18 @ 11:34 AM
Hi, my ex and I couldn’t agree over several issues such the child’s surname (has mine since birth 3 years ago but ex wants his name used), where our child will live And what contact arrangements to follow. A child arrangement order was made with myself and the child able to live abroad in(both child and I are Belgians and my ex is British residing in England) and her father was to visit monthly and the name would not be changed. One of the conditions of the court order was for the father to register the court order abroad where I live and that the courts in Belgium has jurisdiction over PR and family matters involving our child. To date, he has not registered the court order, not visited regularly (only visited once and there are no plans for future visits) but had sent me an email stating he will put himself on the English birth certificate and change our child’s name in England and that he is fully capable to do so without my consent.My understanding is that if he wanted to change any of the agreements made in the order then we would need to go back to court, is this correct? My concern is that I’m being told he can go and change whatever he likes without going back to court even though we went to court to agree on these matters and now he’s changed his mind and I’m concerned how it works as we are an international family with different laws in each country. As far as I am aware, because he has not registered and activated the court order in Belgium, it does not apply here but would apply if my child and I were to be in England for any length of time although there are no plans to go to England.
Sandy89 - 12-Sep-18 @ 5:34 PM
Dan - Your Question:
I have a court order in place and I want to make some changes to it. I have sent an email stating what I would like to change to my ex and she is saying because in court the judge asked her solicitor to type up the court order, if I want to make any changes I have to pay her solicitor is this correct?

Our Response:
Any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts, or agree through a solicitor or mediation. If you are the parent who wishes to make the changes, then it is not up to the other parent to help pay, unless the other parent agrees to.
SeparatedDads - 11-Sep-18 @ 10:43 AM
I have a court order in place and i want to make some changes to it. I have sent an email stating what I would liketo change to my ex and she is saying because in court the judge asked her solicitor to type up the court order, if I want to make any changes I have to pay her solicitor is this correct?
Dan - 9-Sep-18 @ 9:51 PM
My ex went to court falsely claiming parental abduction and the short of it is that it was proven false and then a child arrangements order was made which stated contact arrangements for our daughter. My ex has never followed this order and in the last 3 years has only seen her twice, the last being in July. He’s ignored all my attempts of contact to him (texts,calls,emails) and our daughter was first very upset but has now stopped asking about him. Is there anything I can do to get the order changed as he doesn’t follow it nor does he want to. In court he stated he wanted to visit every 6 weeks but never followed the schedule he chose and I’m concerned that leaving contact open as I have done will be more damaging to our daughter as she cannot understand why her daddy dips in and out of her life whenever he chooses. He’s previously been threatening me that he will take me to court for not following the order when I told him that two sets of dates he gave me were unsuitable (as we were on holiday) but apart from that he’s not mentioning and definately not committed to following the Order he took me to court for.
Kerri - 7-Sep-18 @ 4:50 PM
Nic84 - Your Question:
Me and my ex we sign a child arrangement in January regarding school arrangement. We made few changes in the summer holiday but just for the summer. When I asked him to respect the agreement as school start next week he replied that the agreement as not validity as I have move house and there is my old admin it. Can he do that?

Our Response:
If the child arrangement order was administered through the courts, then please see the link here , which will tell you what constitutes a breach.
SeparatedDads - 4-Sep-18 @ 10:28 AM
Me and my ex we sign a child arrangement in January regarding school arrangement. We made few changes in the summer holiday but just for the summer. When I asked him to respect the agreement as school start next week he replied that the agreement as not validity as I have move house and there is my old admin it. Can he do that?
Nic84 - 30-Aug-18 @ 8:51 PM
Hi my partner has had a CAO for 2 years now and it was working ok but over the last few weeks we’ve been finding out a lot of things which raise serious concerns of emotional abuse especially with his eldest who’s 10. We spoke to a solicitor social services and police for advice and they said under safeguarding to stop contact and reapply back to court. We’ve done this and are filing the application in a few days when we have the money but I’m just wondering is this right? She’s been giving him alcohol, sending him back here with a non retractable Stanley knife, and he’s sat down and told us that she follows him round when he’s on the phone and he has to lock himself in the bathroom to get away from her. She tells him he’s not allowed to tell his dad certain things so he worries about talking to us because she has a go at him. She was emotionally abusing him before they came to like with us and it obviously hasn’t stopped. Do you think the judge will understand? We’re still going to let them ring her so they’re not completely cut off but will have to monitor it, and will be arranging a supervised visit for youngests birthday in 2 weeks. Also would I file as urgent or is it non urgent?
GNC - 26-Aug-18 @ 9:34 AM
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voirel - 23-Aug-18 @ 8:19 PM
Caz - Your Question:
Court order states no consumption of alcohol. Ex breeched and got drunk last night. I need to take him back to court how much will this cost me

Our Response:
The link here , should help you further. Most family court orders cost £215, please see the link here in section 2. Your other option would be to obtain advice from a solicitor about withholding access because of the breach. A solicitor can send a letter regarding the terms of the breach, which would mean your child's father would have to refer the matter back to court himself.
SeparatedDads - 17-Aug-18 @ 9:42 AM
I went to court 3 years ago and a agreement was met but no court order was placed my ex hates my wife to be even tho we've been together 2 and a half years and have a son together but my ex is refusing access now she has called social services police on us and even social have said our property is safe and kids are happy what do I do
Abonnick - 14-Aug-18 @ 7:52 PM
Matt - Your Question:
Hello I am In need of help.I have a Child Arrangement Order in place which I applied for. It is currently 12pm-7pm on Saturday , 10am-5pm Sunday, this is every other weekend.At the time this order was put in to place I lived near my ex wife.Due to work I have been moved to the Midlands 2 1/2 hrs away. I have applied for a change in order , which I am currently awaiting a date to return to court.Even though is stated exact times on the Order, it also says progression to overnight contact and additional contact should be encouraged/supported.I have had over night contact now for around 6/7 months all has been going well.This weekend my partner has stated that she is now adhering to the court order , she has not suggested that overnight contact will be removed , but with that statement I believe that’s her attention.I live so far away now , I have nowhere to stay in the local area to her. Therefore my plan is to take my chilldren back home and keep them overnight as usual. I do have parental responsibility as well.Can anyone advise me, she is the kind of women who will phone the police etc. Thank you anxious dad

Our Response:
If there is a court order in place that doesn't specifically allow for an overnight stay and you take your children overnight without the consent of your ex, she can ask the police to intervene and bring them home. Any deviation from the essential terms of the order would be considered a breach. Your only recourse for a variation of the order is either via mediation, or if your ex doesn't agree to attend mediation then you would have to refer the matter back to court.
SeparatedDads - 13-Aug-18 @ 1:53 PM
Hello I am In need of help. I have a Child Arrangement Order in place which I applied for . It is currently 12pm-7pm on Saturday , 10am-5pm Sunday, this is every other weekend. At the time this order was put in to place I lived near my ex wife. Due to work I have been moved to the Midlands 2 1/2 hrs away. I have applied for a change in order , which I am currently awaiting a date to return to court. Even though is stated exact times on the Order, it also says progression to overnight contact and additional contact should be encouraged/supported. I have had over night contact now for around 6/7 months all has been going well. This weekend my partner has stated that she is now adhering to the court order , she has not suggested that overnight contact will be removed , but with that statement I believe that’s her attention. I live so far away now , I have nowhere to stay in the local area to her. Therefore my plan is to take my chilldren back home and keep them overnight as usual.I do have parental responsibility as well. Can anyone advise me, she is the kind of women who will phone the police etc. Thank you anxious dad
Matt - 10-Aug-18 @ 8:23 PM
Court order states no consumption of alcohol. Ex breeched and got drunk last night. I need to take him back to court how much will this cost me
Caz - 3-Aug-18 @ 5:17 PM
My step daughter's mum has accused the father of hitting his child.Police looked at the evidence and dropped the case.Social care are currently investigating the mum for making false claims, coercing the child and blackmailing her to say things against her father.As a result of all this work until it is concluded the child is not allowed to visit us and she will be missing our family holiday which we have paid for.I want to sue the mum as this is not the first time she has done this to us.For the last 3 years counting its been this cycle all to spoil our summer holidays.
sam - 25-Jul-18 @ 9:53 AM
Alb - Your Question:
Court order in place to collect child Fri 6pm return sun 10am. Went to collect this evening as ordered mother refused. No explanation. I know child with be with her grandmother in the morning while her mother is at work. Could the police assist as I have parental responsibility? Or will I have to return to court?

Our Response:
The link here will outline your options. In the first instance, a solicitor's letter reminding your child's mother of the terms of the order may help to re-instate it.
SeparatedDads - 16-Jul-18 @ 3:03 PM
Court order in place to collect child Fri 6pm return sun 10am. Went to collect this evening as ordered mother refused. No explanation. I know child with be with her grandmother in the morning while her mother is at work. Could the police assist as I have parental responsibility? Or will I have to return to court?
Alb - 13-Jul-18 @ 10:03 PM
My partner has a court order in place which is working and everything is fine with his ex. Suddenly today we received a letter from cafcass saying they are doing a fact finding and section 17. This court order was granted in April so how can cafcass suddenly try to change it? When my partner has spoken to cafcass they said that there was too cases open for them and only one has been closedhence why they can put this in place. Surley they can't stop him from seeing his kids when we have them every other weekend and extra in holidays??
Tasha - 28-Jun-18 @ 3:15 PM
Frankie- Your Question:
My ex denied me seeing my 2 children on Fathers Day because I didnt let her see my Daughter on her birthday on a weekday as we already had plans to go straight to a toyshop from school and have a family gathering as they couldnt manage the weekend. she had the kids for a joint birthday party as their birthdays are a week apart and also I didnt ask see my son on his weekday as their wouldnt have been enough time before bedtime for both parents.The mum then denied me the Fathers day a week later because of this and her partner even confirmed same in a txt to me. the last 2 years I was able to see children on Fathers day as she was on mothers day even though its not on the court order. should I go to court to Vary the Order already in place to include this date as this was her argument even though she denied access out of spite? ( also I am applying for more time with children too) ?

Our Response:
Any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. Please see link here , which should help answer your question.
SeparatedDads - 21-Jun-18 @ 11:49 AM
my ex denied me seeing my 2 children on Fathers Day because i didnt let her see my Daughter on her birthday on a weekday as we already had plans to go straight to a toyshop from school and have a family gathering as they couldnt manage the weekend. she had the kids for a joint birthday party as their birthdays are a week apart and also i didnt ask see my son on his weekday as their wouldnt have been enough time before bedtime for both parents.The mum then denied me the Fathers day a week later because of this and her partner even confirmed same in a txt to me. the last 2 years i was able to see children on Fathers day as she was on mothers day even though its not on the court order. should i go to court to Vary the Order already in place to include this date as this was her argument even though she denied access out of spite? ( also i am applying for more time with children too) ?
Frankie - 20-Jun-18 @ 1:13 AM
danny - Your Question:
After the final order was made ,in the order it says that my ex must encourage the children to call ,,for the 1st month it was great and when I was dropping the children of they seemed really happy ,,But then all of a sudden all contact stopped between the time I dropped them off and collect them (12 days later) I asked the children why and they said that there mum had either hidden the i-pads and phones or just simple said no to the children contacting me ,,For the last 2 drop offs after my weekend my daughter has been in tears as she knows it will be another 12 days until we speak again ,,,i have e-mailed my ex but she just ignores my e-mail`s !!!I have contacted Caffcass but as the order has been made they no longer can help It cost me over 20k to get access to my children due to the mother just stopping access for no reason ,,,What can I do ???

Our Response:
The link here should help answer your question. A solicitor's letter reminding your ex of the terms of the contact order may help get contact back on course. However, it is also important to diarise each breach of the order and each effort you have made to get the order back on track (i.e solicitor's letter, suggesting mediation etc) will help if you need to take the matter back to court. If you can show the court you have done all you can to get contact back on track without having to resort to court, then this will work in your favour if you have to take the matter back to court.
SeparatedDads - 14-Jun-18 @ 10:54 AM
After the final order was made ,in the order it says that my ex must encourage the children to call ,,for the 1st month it was great and when i was dropping the children of they seemed really happy ,, But then all of a sudden all contact stopped between the time i dropped them off and collect them (12 days later) I asked the children why and they said that there mum had either hidden the i-pads and phones or just simple said no to the children contacting me ,,For the last 2 drop offs after my weekend my daughter has been in tears as she knows it will be another 12 days until we speak again ,,,i have e-mailed my ex but she just ignores my e-mail`s !!! I have contacted Caffcass but as the order has been made they no longer can help It cost me over 20k to get access to my children due to the mother just stopping access for no reason ,,, What can i do ???
danny - 13-Jun-18 @ 10:33 AM
Rebecca Alchin - Your Question:
Numerous court hearings final was last october contact center always having to encourage her to go she was so upset nothing for xmas then refused to go as she was meant to be going to paternal aunts for contact but was affraid to be alone with her father away from center contact center ended as she refused to go I have since made contact with the sister who she is comfortable with the judge said it shoukd go at daughters pace c center were very co ersive now been called to attend enfircement hearing the father has stated she should be dragged kicki g and screami g aunt has stated all out of spit only littke interest in the sweetest girl in the world much more to this story but so affraid she will be hurt and damaged if forced surely this is wrong?

Our Response:
Unfortunately, we cannot predict what a court may decide.
SeparatedDads - 8-Jun-18 @ 2:32 PM
Glen - Your Question:
Nothin related to anyone else but I was wandering if someone else has a case like mine. There was a contact order in place but then we got back together as that contact order still valid???

Our Response:
Any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. If you both agree to change the order, then you can and do not have to get permission fromt he courts.
SeparatedDads - 8-Jun-18 @ 12:53 PM
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