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After the Initial Court Order

By: Abigail Taylor - Updated: 12 Sep 2020 | comments*Discuss
 
Court Court Order Breaches Child Ex

Our three-part guide to 'Going to Court' covered all the issues you might experience throughout the court process. Many people experience issues after a court order has been made - and this guide "After the Initial Court Order" is aimed at helping you through difficulties following a court ruling.

Breaches of Court Orders

It is always important to keep a record of any breaches of a court order, however minor. Whilst it may not seem important at the time that a payment was a couple of days late or a couple of pounds short, these minor breaches all add up. A series of minor breaches on top of a more major breach of an order (such as a payment missed altogether) may be the evidence that makes a difference between a judge just giving your ex partner 'a telling off' and be told not to breach the order again, and the judge altering the order (to reduce contact or make them pay a month in advance).

You can keep a record however you like really, as long as you keep it safe. Below are a couple of popular choices:

  • Quick typed word document saved in a separate file on your computer
  • A small pocket diary kept just for the purposes of recording breaches
It is also important to keep track of any communication with your partner, even if it is just a 'courtesy call' in which there were no disagreements or agreements made. This will enable you to easily refer to exactly what was said (particularly if in person or over the phone) at a later date.

Your diary entries / notes don't have to be long.

For Example: 21/08/12 - Mark dropped Katy off at 8pm as agreed. He said she had been out with her friends at the shops all afternoon and had not had tea.

It is also worth if anything is agreed (in person or over the phone) to confirm this in writing (email is fine) with your ex partner. They do not have to reply, but they have then had the option to object if this was not their recollection of the situation.

Police Involvement in Court Order Breaches

The police generally won't get involved in breaches of court orders as it is a matter for the court to deal with. Even if your ex partner keeps your children for an extra couple of nights than they are meant to, this is not a matter for the police as the children are safe with someone who has parental responsibility. (Also consider whether you would want to upset your children by having the police come into the house and drag them away from your partner.)

If your ex partner repeatedly or seriously breaches the court order, you can apply to the courts to enforce the order. All contact orders after 2008 contain a warning about what could happen if an order is breached. If your order is breached, you need to ensure that you have an attached warning notice. You can then apply for enforcement of your order. The police will then only become involved if there are repeated serious breaches and the court punishes your ex partner via community service (or, in rare cases, imprisonment).

The police will not immediately get involved in enforcing a court order relating to children if they are with someone with parental responsibility, even if you make allegations of abuse. The correct procedure should you wish to make allegations of abuse is to make an emergency (same day) application to the courts. The police may then be used to enforce that court order, accompanying a Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) officer to remove children from a party's care.

Applying For a Change of Contact Arrangements

Clearly the easiest way to agree contact arrangements is between you and your ex partner, clarifying arrangements in writing. If this is the case and you wish to change your contact arrangements, you can simply ask to have a discussion with them and set new arrangements.

If however you have a court order detailing your contact arrangements, changing them is a little more tricky and you may need to apply to the courts again; a costly and lengthy process. The best way to deal with a change in arrangements, even if you currently have a court order is:

  • Talk to your ex partner and explain what you want to change and why. If it works out better for both of you they might not object.
  • Go your solicitor and draft a letter to your ex partner setting out the arrangements you wish to change in a more official manner on their letterhead.
  • If neither of the above has settled matters, apply to the courts to decide your contact arrangements again.

Going back to court takes time and money, so it is important to consider a) how important it is that you make changes to the current arrangements (especially if they work) and b) how major are your changes. If your changes are purely for convenience, but can still work now, then it is really not cost effective to take your ex partner back to court if they won't agree to them. Equally if your change is to which evening you have the children (e.g. Weds / Thurs) or what time they are returned (1pm / 2pm), there is also little point in taking this matter to court.

Remember the No Order Principle: the courts will not make an order, if the position is no worse if they don't make an order than if they do.

You should always aim to work together as parents and be reasonable. If you are on the receiving end of a request to change arrangements, consider if the request is reasonable and what effect it would have on you. If for example it is a change of day when you would be in all week anyway, then why object; objecting just to annoy your ex partner is never advisable as, like it or not, you have a long-standing relationship with them (until your child is 18!)

Parental Alienation

In some cases the child may state that they do not want to have any contact with the non resident parent, this is sometimes due to the fact that the resident parent has alienated the child from the other parent. This is known by some as parental alienation, this is a controversial pathological ailment most commonly claimed during divorce or separation of parents. Symptoms of parental alienation are expressed as unjustified extreme hatred for one parent.

Parental alienation remains a controversial condition in both the legal and medical professions, as similar symptoms can easily be brought on by negative comments by the other parent, or a child blaming one party (particularly if they were unfaithful) for the relationship breaking down.

Proving it in Court

Generally legal advice would always be not to plead parental alienation in court. Judges like evidence based submissions, so if you are claiming a medical (psychological) condition, the judge will want to see a medical report to prove this. This is not the sort of report a regular GP would be able to give, so would be expensive to obtain, and many medical professionals (much like with conditions such as ME) don't recognise it as a "real" medical problem.

The best way to effectively plead parental alienation would be to produce evidence in court of your child's behaviour being unsubstantiated or unreasonable. You essentially want the judge to give the wishes of your child (one item on the welfare checklist) little weight. You are far more likely to achieve this by demonstrating how good a parent you are and your closeness with your child before the separation to show how their sudden hatred is irrational. Often mention of "parental alienation syndrome", a condition proposed by controversial American psychiatrist Richard Gardner, will damage an otherwise valid point.

SUMMARY:

  • Parental Alienation Syndrome is highly controversial
  • Many medics and lawyers do not accept it exists
  • You are more likely to succeed by proving that behaviour is irrational / influenced by the other party using evidence

Applying For a Change of Contact Arrangements

Clearly the easiest way to agree contact arrangements is between you and your ex partner, clarifying arrangements in writing. If this is the case and you wish to change your contact arrangements, you can simply ask to have a discussion with them and set new arrangements.

If however you have a court order detailing your contact arrangements, changing them is a little more tricky and you may need to apply to the courts again; a costly and lengthy process. The best way to deal with a change in arrangements, even if you currently have a court order is:

  • Talk to your ex partner and explain what you want to change and why. If it works out better for both of you they might not object
  • Go your solicitor and draft a letter to your ex partner setting out the arrangements you wish to change in a more official manner on their letterhead
  • If neither of the above has settled matters, apply to the courts to decide your contact arrangements again

Going back to court takes time and money, so it is important to consider a) how important it is that you make changes to the current arrangements (especially if they work) and b) how major are your changes. If your changes are purely for convenience, but can still work now, then it is really not cost effective to take your ex partner back to court if they won't agree to them. Equally if your change is to which evening you have the children (e.g. Weds / Thurs) or what time they are returned (1pm / 2pm), there is also little point in taking this matter to court.

Remember the No Order Principle: the courts will not make an order, if the position is no worse if they don't make an order than if they do.

You should always aim to work together as parents and be reasonable. If you are on the receiving end of a request to change arrangements, consider if the request is reasonable and what effect it would have on you. If for example it is a change of day when you would be in all week anyway, then why object; objecting just to annoy your ex partner is never advisable as, like it or not, you have a long-standing relationship with them (until your child is 18!)

SUMMARY:

  • Only resort to changes through the courts if you have to
  • If changes are opposed consider carefully whether they are strictly necessary before applying to the courts

Sample Letters

We've produced 10 sample letters to help you communicate with your ex and with the various authorities to help you achieve a positive outcome with any issues relating to your children. You find them here:

After court letters part one.

After court letters, part two.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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[Add a Comment]
My partner has just had to apply to the court again as his ex had breached the court order with access to his son and now he’s had the court case and he’s not happy with the decision made even after his ex breaking the first court order is there anyway that he can appeal or anything as he’s not happy with going anywhere near her family unless it’s in a public place and she stated she could never do that as she has to take her husband to work which was a complete lie as when we went to collect from her mother in laws house her husband was the one walking with his son from there house so obviously not working so a public place could have been agreed
Tan - 12-Sep-20 @ 11:46 AM
Hello, I currently have a contact order in place that says I pick the kids up from school one day per week, spend a few hours with them, feed them (restaurant as i live too far away to be able make a meal at home) then have back to their mother by 6:30. i have the chance to amend this to work better by picking them up from school and having them over night so i can take them to school in the morning. do i need to do mediation before i can i apply to court, the Mother has always refused to attend. many thanks Dan Parkhouse
Dan - 9-Sep-20 @ 1:45 PM
Hi, Can I ask a question on school holidays and court orders? Current arrangements are Thursday evening to Sunday. This Thursday falls on a weekend where School term ends on Friday the 17th of July for the children and Monday 20th of July is a Teacher Training. So would suggest this is my standard weekend. Court order states: The ‘Regular/Term Time Arrangements’ are suspended during the summer holiday. I should then have 14 nights and 7 nights for the school summer holiday. So logically I should see my son on Thursday night as normal returning on Sunday at 5PM. So wondering if the first night of school holiday is therefore the Friday night or Monday night? So wondering what of the two days dictates regular contact ends. The ex is trying to force if I have my son on Thursday night then should carry through to Sunday, then will stop me from having the 7 days later in the school holidays and so I only have the 14 night period. My argument is that is a normal weekend. Therefore I should see my son as normal on Thursday, return him on Sunday and have the 14 day/ 7 day as per court order. Am I correct?
Eric - 14-Jul-20 @ 6:18 PM
After thinking long and hard yeah I guess I am like my (cousin Timmy )oh well we all can’t be amazing fathers and I guess I am not like the other guys in my family who see there children on weekends and have holidays together and be a family.but On a brighter note I have my brothers mates and go on holidays actually this year at Christmas we are going to the Kimberly fishing remote rivers bye helicopter and swimming in waterfalls for 7 nights .so hopefully the Covid -19 buggers off and borders open properly because this has always been something I wanted to do .and taking 6 months to pay off on holiday package so fingers crossed the world is back to normal bye then .
Chris - 13-Jul-20 @ 8:30 PM
@abubaker@grantie08.well I guess that way you are safe in a contact centre and still see your child .(for me I would never go to a contact centre but that’s just me).and grantie08 I can’t give advise on court orders On visitation never had one( or was willing to go to court for visitation but that’s just me all the best for you guys) but .truth told here (my daughter is grown up now) so in my case it doesn’t matter anymore from when the mother left all those years ago what I discovered with blogs like theses and others how much (men have changed the whole world for that matter) .back then it was unheard off in my circle anyway for fathers going to court for visitation.
Chriso - 13-Jul-20 @ 7:29 PM
Hi, I have a court order giving me contact with my boy every other weekend 10am Saturday to Sunday 4pm. It stated in the order any other contact should be agreed between parties. This was like 4 or 5 years ago now and I am unable to get the mother of my boy to extend my contact or even be able to take him on holiday during the summer. Can I go back to court and amend the current order that’s in place?
Grantie08 - 13-Jul-20 @ 6:45 PM
@christhanks for ur information . You are right thats what i am wondering not to make it difficult for self , so its better to keep involve the contact center .
Abubaker Sedeqi - 13-Jul-20 @ 6:23 PM
@abubaker.i can relate to your post .i myself have been on orders and not allowed to contact the mother or child directly or indirect.for my situation I have given up for a lot of reasons.main one is the( child’s age )she is legal age now to make up own mind if she wants to meet me .(because in my situation I got nothing to say to her mother and really don’t want contact with her) .my advise is be carful if your ex put you on these orders what’s to stop her again?.
Chris - 12-Jul-20 @ 3:08 PM
Me and my wife get separate 3 years ago, i have a child , On that time my ex alleged me with violence , and i went court , court decide i should not contact her direct or indirect for 5 years if i want to see my child should be arrange through solicitor or mediator , and i did that , i see my son at contact center , so now we are agree to have a contact by email and see my child , pick up from home and drop him back to home with out contact center, Now im wondering if we have a contact by email with each other to arrange time and day for child is it legal or need some process Cause i should not contact her direct or indirect according previous court order but now we both agree for our child to be in touch , can we do or not , Any one help please
Abubaker Sedeqi - 12-Jul-20 @ 7:50 AM
Av just been fighting for a year to get contact with my daughter and today I found out that am only allowed limited access when there no safeguarding are me or my family but her mother partner has been done for domestic abuse and yet the court are okay for her to move her schools and keep her living there full time with her mum and partner while I only get every other weekend and shared holidays but I wanted half custody is this a fair judgement or is there anything I can do or get advice on where do I go from here thanks you all for reading my story
Lj - 3-Jul-20 @ 1:57 PM
I was wondering whether a child agreement order has the same standing even if I am not there? I am having to leave the country for two weeks due to work. One of the weeks I will be away is my week with the children. My ex has said I have lost that week cause I should cancel my work trip if I really love my children. Bearing in mind this is the first time it has happened in years I don’t want to lose that week as my children usually spend most of our week with my two sons and wife. They have a really good relationship and I don’t see why my children with my ex partner can’t come over or why she should break the agreement. Is she legally entitled to do so? Thanks
Gk - 19-Jun-20 @ 1:09 AM
@whatsthepoint.people say I have (mental health issues I know this for a fact )They say I’m unstable violent controlling.i don’t (care) what they say about me .and I am (walking away and giving up ).i done with (courts).f that I’m nearly (40 )now time to enjoy my life and it’s time I find (someone special to spent my life with and have a few to choose from and I didn’t even realise it’s remarkable when you open eyes ).thats what I’m focusing on I want to (settle down )now .and Be family men .
Chris - 16-Apr-20 @ 1:31 AM
Court orders aren't worth the paper they are wrote on. My partner applied to enforce it, he had the call today and he just got fobbed off. No matter how much proof or evidence you have it doesn't matter one bit Instead the mother steps in the week before and says for the first time that the child has mental health problems. Now despite us paying, providing concise evidence my partner now gets to see both his children less. No wonder so many wonderful Dads give up and walk away. The justice system is pants!
Whatsthepoint - 15-Apr-20 @ 11:56 PM
Hello I have a very controlling ex partner whom since day one has not bothered with our children but the minute I leave him he wants access, fast forward took me to court and was given court order for every second weekend. He spends little time with the children when they are there, does not know how to relate to them, my question is when my children reach 10 year's old can they speak to the judge and Express that they have no interest in this individual? Has anyone had the same experience at all? Thankyou. Best to add in this character is a self harmed, alcoholic and severe mental health issues. This has all been mentioned in court and medical records shown as proof but has made no difference.
Rj - 11-Apr-20 @ 12:22 PM
i lost my children in 2013. zainab kais and affan kais. they left me and live in 2 bissagoss court bermuda way, london e1 stepney. before iwasremovedin 200 from 4 months old baby. now it has been 7 years i cant see them . my children and me suffering by traumaticillness. zainab and affan misss me everyday. my name is in tenancy aggrement in 2 bissagoss court but i cant live because my wife harrass me everytime by false blaiming. [externalshelter also]my situation very bad, my benefit all taken arrears, bankcruptcy ! jobs being stoped since nmany years.after 28 yearsin uk i want lieave th thiscountry but for my children i cant. i am aseparated dad, i read the separated dads equal rights. but i need my childen. i seek your kind consideration. kind regards imrul kais 8 philip blairman house elder street london e1 6dg 07748324268
n/a - 24-Feb-20 @ 6:54 PM
I have tried to register to gain some support for my son as we are now on our 5th court case and nearly £18, 000 down but the site does not seem to work, it wont accept me and said to contact admin, is it a bit like Father's for Justice site, only looks good on paper? We paid them £40 and never heard another word
Jeangenie - 13-Feb-20 @ 12:24 PM
You are not offering any help! Court orders enforcement orders are not worth the paper they are written on! If the mum doesn’t want the father to see the child there is nothing you can do about it. And no one will help. Parental alienation is not controversial! just by saying it you invalidate it. Offer some real help to people as this website is utterly useless!
Ben - 4-Feb-20 @ 3:08 AM
My son has a lived with order and has his son fulltime. The judge passed order that the maternal mother has no contact or visitation. My son asked the judge that he would like his son to have contact and know whom his mother is as lons as supervised. So for 1 hour a month was agreed between both parents taking into account for 1 year the mother didnt bother seeing her son. So only for few months did she stick to it then nothing again. Now she applied to courts to try overturn this order or yo get 50 50 shared care. Can it be overturned.
Jay - 10-Jan-20 @ 9:49 PM
My ex has said they are taking me to court for access. This was 2 weeks ago - how long does it take for the paperwork to come through?
None - 8-Dec-19 @ 3:29 PM
Hi. I have a directional appt coming up for a child arrangements order. My Wife left our house almost a year ago with my 2year old and then I received a non molestation order against me even though some of the claims were lied. We both signed undertakings not to contact each other. She is now living over 200 miles away. Is it worth me going to the directions appt without a barrister or just not turn up. I have been told it can take a yew or two to have it issued and could thousands and thousands and even then usually supervised to start off with. My kid is over 5 hours away from me and I havent seen him since they left the home. I am missing him so much.
Dave - 21-Nov-19 @ 4:42 PM
Can you do the ex partner has put nothing but complete live in a court order her Reasons for not attending the mediation back in August I’ve just found this out now is domestic violence 100%A fairytale simply didn’t happen I can’t get legal aid no solicitor dealing with this myself have yougot any advice for me
cookie - 19-Nov-19 @ 8:27 AM
Hi, i have recently got a court order to have my children every weekend pick up Friday at 6 return Sunday at 5 yet my manager is saying she is not bothered I have to work Sunday’s is their a law against this as I have the order or should I find a new job ? Thanks
Jed - 19-Sep-19 @ 6:44 PM
to the person who wants to no about family court and false allegations you need to believe what im going to SAY the courts caffcass social care are all corrupt i have proof the mothers solicitor will encourage the mother to make false allegations the court will bleed the father dry of his mind money and his soul the best thing he can do is suck up to the mother be very nice and ask her if they can sort contact out them selfs if the father does not take this advice he will ether end up taking his own life or he will never see his kids again the father will think he has rights trust me he has none at all please take my advice if the father would like to speak with me im happy to tell him what i went though twice and i have not seen my kids in two years now the court is just a money making machine FACT.
dave - 13-Aug-19 @ 10:35 PM
Hi, I have recently been through the court process to gain access to my 2 year old Son, access was totally restricted for a period of 3 months, the worst 3 months of my life ! ... eventually all was resolved after having to incur costly solicitors fees. The Court Order for access was strictly for access only, nothing to do with maintenance as conformed by the Judge (after my ex consistently mentioned money). My question is ... My Son was in private nursery when the order was put in place, the judge gave me access on a Wednesday and Thursday day, I believe he thought that he was doing me a favour yet as soon as the Court order was received in the post,my ex emailed me to tell me that she can no longer afford nursery (even though the CMS payments had increased since and she also sent me an email telling me the dates of the 3 holidays she's going on) and that she will be removing him and that I will have to make arrangements myself for those days, really meaning that I will have to pay the nursery fees for those days. I have always contributed to the fees but have no obligation to and have always been fully compliant with the CMS of whom she is also taking me to tribunal. I really cannot afford the payments anymore and am getting myself into more debt as time passes, any help guidance would be much appreciated if anybody else has experienced similar problems, my understanding is that she is in contempt of the order by removing him from nursery but I am not sure?
FrustratedDad - 18-Jul-19 @ 11:49 AM
My Husband really needs some advice regarding upcoming family court with his ex and numerous false allegations. We have both tried to register on the site but it won’t let us and the admin haven’t answered emails. Can anyone help please?
Spud - 31-May-19 @ 5:06 PM
my eldest is nearly 14 he is living with dad under a court order atm and stays with me every other weekend. He now has strong feelings against his dad.....he doesn't want to live there he wants to live back with me. He has had ss involved before.....he doesn't trust or talk to them, his dad wont let him back here what does he do? Can he get a free solicitor? he doesn't trust no one at school either
Nutsy - 27-Apr-19 @ 3:36 PM
I have a court order issued via final order some 22 months ago giving strict 50/50 care of our daughter. I took my ex back to court 18 months ago and the judge went spare at us both. It was beneficial, in a much as it forced mum to talk and much of her controlling behaviour relented (for a while). Since this point, we have mutually varied the order (realistically, my ex did her own thing and contacted me last minute to arrange contact, usually 6:1/ 6:2 split over a week). For example, over the summer holidays, she saw mum 4 nights out of 7 weeks. Our daughter will be twelve 3 months. She has become used to the arrangements, living with me and very settled well (she has found the last minute ad-hoc requests for contact from mum frustrating). Mum now has a new relationship and wants to return to the 50/50 arrangement. Her communications have actually become semi-litigious, somewhat economical with the truth in an attempt to make herself look good and done nothing to build any form of trust. I have to some degree ignored them and refused to engage, par one e-mail. Our daughter is adamant that she doesn't want to return to the old court arrangement and has said she won't go to mum's after school on the set days (she's in secondary and makes her own way to school and back). I am not in the frame of mind to force her either. I have discussed it at length and established what sort of time she wants to spend with her mum. She stated throughout the last proceedings she wanted to spend more time with dad and has now got used to this. My ex isn't listening and is unilaterally trying to force through her own agenda (she is particularly controlling and very manipulative). So, do I take this back to court again? I'm of the frame of mind of letting our daughter vote with her feet and then waiting for my ex to have to deal with it as opposed to go for the head-on litigation. Maybe it's time for our daughter to have her say; or; by refusing to return, time for mum to accept some feedback? I'm not keen on the court process. My ex spouts all sorts of lies, nothing is ever looked into properly and the whole system is adversarial, which doesn't nothing to settle our daughter. TBH, I am becoming somewhat resentful of my ex, for being so selfish as to keep putting our daughter through this and praying on her emotions. She is so selfish. Thoughts please.
Nick D - 22-Feb-19 @ 12:20 AM
hi, just after a little bit of advice. I have been to court and won contact with my daughter for one day a week, progressing to two days and currently it is on tow days, one overnight stay. My ex has recently had a baby so hasn't been working. I however, works shift work and my ex is aware of my shift pattern being 4 days in 4 days off. She has been happy for me to see my daughter on every second day and third day of my days off. Now she is telling me I might need to change my days when she goes back to work as it might stop her from seeing our daughter all the time, depending on her work pattern. Her work rota changes on a monthly basis whereas mine is the same all year around. She has explained that days might need to change so she can get to see our daughter too, but our daughter lives with her. She has also told me that she is moving, and after recently agreeing that if both of our partners cant drop off/pick up our daughter, then we are to meet at a public place. This has been fine until she has decided to move, to which I have asked to meet at a public place which is in the middle for us both, at the designated time we have previously agreed. She has now told me that due to her other childs sleeping times, I will either have to drop my daughter off at her home, even though there have been allegations of domestic abuse, hence why I am more confortable with a public place. Or I need to meet at a public place earlier, which then reduces my time with my daughter. She also stated that if im not happy with that then I am to change my days, which is practically impossible due to work commitments. I feel really lost as I have requested that we go to mediation to resolve this matter, to which she declined as she stated she isn't paying for mediation so I might as well take her back to court. I feel like if I don't agree to her way then my contact with my daughter will be affected. As she has stated I wont be getting my daughter if she cant get back home to hers, but wont agree on anything auitable for both parts, just for the simple fact she has another child.
desperatedad - 9-Feb-19 @ 6:29 PM
Me and my partner are due a baby in 3 months. His ex stopped contact with his 2 previous daughters for lots of various reasons over the past 1 1/2 years. Latest being their 7 year old can’t deal with change so meeting me or a new sibling would put too much strain on her. He applied for court order and first hearing was awarded interim contact of mon-thur-Friday over night until 7 pm Saturday. And the second week the same with no weekend. Conditions attached are I am introduced 2 hours only every other sat. When baby is born another 3 months of me and baby allowed contact 2 hours every other Saturday. Not allowed at my property. Not allowed our previous children to meet. This seems so strict considering we were going to move in together before baby arrives and now we can’t. I’ll be left 4 days and nights one week to manage alone. I’m not sure how I’ll manage after a c section without his help and other children to care for. There are no safeguarding concerns on me or him just the daughters ‘apparent’ struggle with change. (Mums introduced new partner all was fine and moved 4 times in 7 years) he was a litigant in person and she had a solicitor and he felt bullied to agree or lose interim contact altogether. Just seems 24 hours over 6 months to adapt to me and a baby in their lives is ridiculous. Everything now has to change and he can’t wven have all 3 of his children together for more than 2 hours a fortnight. Can he appeal interim contact? He will have to have all this contact at his dads then at final hearing is he allowed to move in? I doubt that would then be allowed given they would have spent such little time with me and a baby and no time with children already living here. Really at a loss as to what we are able to do. How can we be expected to have a baby so soon and under these conditions. How is this fair on the children. Vindictive parenta punishing children for their own gain really get to me. What’s the next step other than waiting 6 months?
Hannah - 22-Jan-19 @ 10:40 PM
Hi I need advise my partner had his son who is 7 literally 50/50 since they split every tues night Thursday night and every other fri to Monday ..anyway there was on going issues at her house her and partner had very nasty arguments fights infront of his son and step kids . Police been involved and social services but cases closes but because my partner was concerned and asked her to Maybe put emotional support in place for little one at school because he was struggling, she refused this but social services advised her to agree for best interest of child.. Well she ended up being spiteful and cut our tues it upset son and dad and dad tried to sort it she wasn’t having any of it , went to mediation she refused . It got signed off no intent she told him to go court . She couldn’t wait for him to take her to court . Well he filed for court and she cut all contact now and stated he’s a druggie he used to smoke weed occasionally but never infront of kids and she knew this the whole 10 years they was together .. even got messages she let us take him out the country 11 days in June , she also filed for csa bare in mind we used to buy everything for ours all his uniform and shoes and coats . Went to court on tues her police report isn’t back so we didn’t see a judge we paid for a solicitor so waste money cos got no were.. we tried to put tempers interim in place and she stated we could have him only for tea on tues and thurs and every other fri to sun.. we want happy but only tempery so agreees so solicitor told her then she changed her mind sed we could only see him supervised with her until she knows he not a druggy. She wanted a cocaine test .. so more expense but we agreed . She believed it was going to take ages for test.. so we went to consent then she sed she want cannabis test too even tho she knew he used to do it and never had a problem got TEXTsaying she knows he does it and don’t ever kick off.. well my partner stopped in October and he explained this . The solicitor ordered a drug test sed it be over 90 days but would be monthly results so would show clear for dec, nov and usage in October .. but after doing the test the lab told us it won’t come bk clear until 90 day weed free so there will be a high reading October then lower reading for nov and dec .. but the agreement she sed he had to prove he weed free which this test won’t prove it and she won’t acceot urine sample .. ?? she is deluded she let us have supervised contact on wed and she kicked off at us swearing infront of the kids and she was trying to get Bobbi to go he didn’t want to her fella was even saying stop stop kicking off no need it’s all on record and it’s only her shouting n being horrible she phone police and when they come she states I was aggressive to her ?? I didn’t barely say anything bare in mind she was given a harrassment advice letter cos she kept kicking off and lying .. police didn’t listen was literally believing her crap.. also Bobbi told us he didn’t
Chan - 15-Dec-18 @ 8:04 PM
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