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Guide to Court 3: False Allegations, Cafcass & Representing Yourself

By: Abigail Taylor - Updated: 1 Aug 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Guide Court False Allegations Contact

Here is part 3 of our Guide to Court. This part of the guide explains: how to handle false allegations and perjury; dealing with cafcass and representing yourself in court. There are also three sample letters for you to use as templates. You can download the entire guide (see below) or you can read it here it on the site.

If you haven't already done so why not read part 1 - the 1st hearings, court forms and writing a court statement

and

part 2 - constructing a skeleton argument and using character references

Perjury or False Allegations

Perjury is committed where a person is proven to have lied in court. The elements necessary for a conviction of perjury are:
  • Deliberate lie
  • Told whilst on oath
  • Proven to be a lie

Whilst lying on oath is probably most common in divorce proceedings where emotions are often running high, these are the cases in which it can be the most difficult to prove, as it is essentially one person's word against the other.

Where perjury is proved, the penalties can be high and even include short prison sentences. However those committing perjury, in divorce proceedings particularly, are not always prosecuted due to the difficulty in proving lies.

How to deal with perjury during a trial

There are no particular rules on how to deal with a witness who you know has just lied under oath. However there is a "trick" that most barristers use:
  • Check what the witness has just said with them
  • Ask for more specific details about what they have just said (allowing them to dig themselves into a deeper hole)
  • Point out the conflicting witness statement or evidence that proves they are lying
  • Directly point out one must be incorrect and ask which
  • Suggest to witness that they are now deliberately misleading the court (don't be surprised if they deny or don't answer; you're point has been made to the court)

For Example:

Sue says to court that John never helped out with the children or around the house.

John's barrister: You said that John never helped out with the children or around the house isn't that correct?
Sue: Yes
Barrister: So you had to pick up the children every day from school isn't that right?
Sue: Yes
Barrister: You cooked tea for the children every night didn't you?
Sue: Yes
(etc. - don't overdo the confirmation questions - 3 or 4 will do)
Barrister: Can you look at this statement please. What is this document?
Sue: My witness statement
Barrister: This statement was made by you wasn't it?
Sue: Yes
Barrister: That's your signature on the last page isn't it?
Sue: Yes
Barrister: Please can you read the last paragraph to the court
Sue: "I confirm that this statement is true to the best of my knowledge and belief"
Barrister: So everything you have written in this statement is true?
Sue: Yes
Barrister: Please read the first line of the fifth paragraph
Sue: "I usually finished work at 6:30pm and didn't get home until 8pm on the bus as John wouldn't let me have the car."
Barrister: If you didn't get home until 8pm, how did you always pick the children up from school and cook their tea when they finish school at 3pm?
Sue: (Her response is really irrelevant)
Barrister: I suggest Mrs Smith that you are in fact deliberately trying to mislead the court today aren't you?
Sue: (Again her response is irrelevant - you have shown the court that she has lied and discredited her whole evidence)

The general rule to allow them to say enough that they can't say it was a simple misunderstanding of the question. (A misunderstanding won't discredit the rest of their evidence.) This technique is colloquially called "give them enough rope to hang themselves".

Dealing with Cafcass

Cafcass are the Child And Family Court Advisory and Support Service. They are experienced in dealing with matters involving children, from care proceedings to residence disputes.

You will come across Cafcass if you apply to the court for any order involving your children. Essentially a Cafcass officer will report to the court advising them on what is best for the children (which may not necessarily be the position you are asking the court to impose).

Usually Cafcass will want to meet with you to discuss the application made. It will always be best for you to cooperate with Cafcass and arrange a meeting. Remember that the court will very rarely pass a ruling on an application that is against the recommendations of the Cafcass officer. The meeting is therefore your chance to openly explain your side of the matter to the Cafcass officer and discuss possible alternative arrangements and the impact these would have on you.

Tips for your meeting / discussions with Cafcass

  • Be honest with the officer (they are highly experienced and trained to spot lies or inconsistencies)
  • Be open and answer questions fully (they are not asking about your day-to-day activities to judge you but to get a fuller picture of your family life. Therefore if you go clubbing once a week while your mother babysits the children, say so)
  • Don't be afraid to disagree with the officer (if they suggest a solution which you don't think would work, such as would involve any unreasonable amount of travelling on your part, explain this to them - It may mean they don't suggest this as an agreeable solution to the court)
  • Don't be embarrassed (the officer will have heard every possible scenario before and I can assure you that there will always be situations worse than yours!)

Representing yourself in court

On TV you often see a dark wooden courtroom with a judge sitting high up behind a bench, lots of barristers all wearing black gowns and wigs, someone at the back behind a glass screen, witnesses giving evidence from their special wooden box, and journalists hurriedly writing down every word said.

This is a criminal court - NOT family court.

Family court is much more informal. There will still be a judge sitting at the front behind a bench, but no one wearing wigs and gowns and there are rarely any media present.

Media and the family court

Family court used to conduct all its work in private. However this led to a lack of public confidence in the court system and so family court proceedings are now open to the public. There are lots of restrictions on journalists in these cases though. For example they are not allowed to publish any details that would identify any child involved in court proceedings. Some proceedings such as those involving domestic abuse are often still held in private.

Consider however, the public interest in knowing your family's contact or residence arrangements for your children. A good test is whether a stranger on the next street would care about what your arrangements are. No? Then it is unlikely that a newspaper will pay a journalist to report on your particular case. (Contrary to common belief even many murder cases go unreported in the media as there are just too many cases and unless you're famous or the case involves something horrific such as extremely serious child abuse or mass murder, often there is no point in publishing it as it doesn't sell papers.)

Partial representation

When in court, you will have to stand up and tell the judge your case. You will also have to answer any questions about your case from both the other side and the judge. The judge will stop your ex-partner interrupting you, but can't stop them pulling faces etc which can be off-putting.

If you are happy to do everything yourself but feel a bit anxious about this part, you can opt to just instruct counsel (a solicitor advocate or barrister) to represent you for the final hearing. This will severally reduce your costs but may relieve some of the worry for you.

Free help and advice

There are ways to get help with your case without paying for it however so you're not on your own!

You can get legal advice and help preparing your case (including the points you want to say in court) at your local Citizen's Advice Bureau. They sometimes have walk-in clinics but often allow you to make appointments to discuss matters too. You will still have to speak for yourself in court, but if what you say is pre-planned, it isn't as hard.

You may also be able to get representation in court via Legal Aid if you have a low income and so can't afford to hire a lawyer privately. This may also exempt you from paying court fees to lodge your case.

Letter Template: Requesting a character reference

[YOUR ADDRESS]
[DATE]

Dear [name],

I am writing to ask you to give me a character reference.

I am going to the family courts in [PLACE]. This is in relation to a [contact / residence / parental responsibility] application. This character reference may be considered by the court to help my case.

Below are some tips which may help you in writing the reference.

Useful tips for what referees should include in your reference:

  • Address to the judge directly (if known) or to the relevant court
  • State how you know the person you are writing the reference for and how long you have known them
  • Any positive attributes you can attest to
  • Any activities of the person you wish to draw to the court's attention
  • The likely effect on the person of the order being or not being granted
  • Only state the truth (it is an offence to mislead the court and will likely damage the person's case)
  • Sign and date your reference
  • If possible put the reference on letter-headed paper

Please return the reference to me at the above address so that I can forward it with the relevant papers to the court.

Thank you in advance for taking the time to help me in this matter.

Yours sincerely,

[SIGNATURE][YOUR NAME]

Letter Template: Cover letter to send with your court statement and court forms

[YOUR ADDRESS]
[DATE]

Dear Sirs,

Please find enclosed my court statement and forms in relation to my application for [contact order / residence order etc].

Please can you confirm receipt of these forms via post (to the above address) or email (to [email]).

Yours faithfully,

[SIGNATURE]

[YOUR NAME]

Template letter: Representing yourself

[YOUR ADDRESS]
[DATE]

Dear Sirs,

(Re: Case Number [CASE NUMBER])

Please note for your files that I will be representing myself as a litigant in person in the above case.

I propose to bring with me [NAME] as my supporter and [NAME] as witness.

If you have any objections to me representing myself, please notify me within the next three days.

Yours faithfully,

[SIGNATURE]

[YOUR NAME]

We know that some of the dads on here don't have much spare cash. So we are offering the downloadable guides for free.

To help us develop more guides and other products to help separated dads we would really appreciate a small PayPal donation. Our content is written by a qualified barrister. It would really help us and we would appreciate it.

More information

If, after using our information, you have successfully negotiated the court process and managed to secure a court order enabling some kind of access, contact or residency order, congratulations! If you are finding that the court order is not being adhered to, then you may want to take a look at our guide: After the Initial Court Order.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
[Add a Comment]
Dizzy - Your Question:
My daughter has just lost custody of her son. Her ex lied and the cafcass officer was awful. My daughter was treated unfairly and despite character references and plenty of evidence, cafcass still favoured her ex. Now, we showed proof of emotional maltreatment, as did the school, there are past contact reports that say her ex is emotionaly detached from child, he has said everything his son said is a lie and cafcass have put the chd in his Care. This was done with immediate effect and my daughter has one and a half hours to say goodbye. We had no fact finding hearing which wouldhave proved every single lie, cafcass changed my daughters statement and the schools and disregarded my grandsons wishes. My daughter was told she had to give copies of her evidence to her ex but she hadn't even seen his and still hasn't. There are past reports that say my grandson is safe and loved in his mothers care so why has this done and why are liars never held accountable in family court. The real fishy thing is,my daughter was told cafcass report would be given to both parties, at the same time which should've been on the Friday. Then we got an email saying that they would give the report on Monday morning. Daughter received hers via email at 9.30am. They were in court for 10.00am. Now her ex had a 4hr drive to get to court but when he arrived, he had a statement already prepared!!! He must be very clever to be able to write and print with one hand whilst driving!! How is this possible and why are you permitted to lie in court. We now have to go through appeal. Would love some advice please.

Our Response:
Unfortunately, we cannot give personal/individual advice. It is very rare that a court will decide to take a child from one parent and hand the child over to another unless there is very good reason. You would need to seek legal advice about appealing the decision.
SeparatedDads - 2-Aug-18 @ 10:59 AM
My daughter has just lost custody of her son. Her ex lied and the cafcass officer was awful. My daughter was treated unfairly and despite character references and plenty of evidence, cafcass still favoured her ex. Now, we showed proof of emotional maltreatment, as did the school, there are past contact reports that say her ex is emotionaly detached from child, he has said everything his son said is a lie and cafcass have put the chd in his Care. This was done with immediate effect and my daughter has one and a half hours to say goodbye. We had no fact finding hearing which wouldhave proved every single lie, cafcass changed my daughters statement and the schools and disregarded my grandsons wishes. My daughter was told shehad to give copies of her evidence to her ex but she hadn't even seen his and still hasn't. There are past reports that say my grandson is safe and loved in his mothers care so why has this done and why are liars never held accountable in family court. The real fishy thing is,my daughter was told cafcass report would be given to both parties, at the same time which should've been on the Friday. Thenwe got an email saying that they would give the report on Monday morning. Daughter received hers via email at 9.30am. They were in court for 10.00am. Now her ex had a 4hr drive to get to court but when he arrived, he had a statement already prepared!!! He must be very clever to be able to write and print with one hand whilst driving!! How is this possible and why are you permitted to lie in court. We now have to go through appeal. Would love some advice please.
Dizzy - 1-Aug-18 @ 7:04 AM
Fran - Your Question:
Hi,My partner is going through hell and it seems like the law is set up only to protect the mother. He and his ex partner has split but he simply wants access to his child on a regular basis, however although the mother has a history of mental issues relating to Post partum depression. On her evaluation she even confessed to having suicidal thoughts and wanting to kill the child. This information was presented in court but instead of her being under scrutiny, her allegations against my partner that he abuses alcohol and drugs, where brought under scrutiny so much so, he had to do tests to prove he is not abusing drugs or alcohol. All tests came back negative for my partner but yet he continues to not have access to the child although he is paying child support every month. The mother lives with her husband and 3 other children in her family home as she had entered into an affair with my partner and that's how she got pregnant. He has done Parenting classes under the recommendation of cafcass but yet every time he goes to court, the judge keeps deferring the case claiming there Is not enough evidence in order to make a decision and as a result a child is growing up without having a bond with her father. The mother only allows him to see his child when she feels like and that is one time in 2 months or none at all because she has already told him that there is nothing he can do and that he will not see his child because the law supports the mother. So please tell me if there is something he can do because he has even had solicitors in the past who proved to be a waste of time and money because on both occasion his previous solicitor only tried him to get him to coporate with the demands of Cafcass, who wrote in there evaluation that because my partner lives in a one bedroom flat, and the mother lives in a two bedroom house with her husband and 3 other children, then her home environment is a better family unit in comparison to my partners place, although, within in flat he has cot and draws for the child , whilst in the mothers house ,the child is sleeping in the same bed as the mother and her husband and the child has no bed of her own. Please tell me how this is right ?

Our Response:
We cannot pass comment on individual cases. However, it is rare that access is prevented unless there is a provable reason why. The courts do want non-resident parents to have relationships with their children. You say your partner's solicitor wants your partner to co-operate with Cafcass, if your partner doesn't cooperate with Cafcass then this will not go in his favour. From the interviews Cafcass conduct, their reporter will determine two things: whether there should be contact allowed, and, if so, how much. It’s a measure of how important the Cafcass recommendation is that the court will almost invariably adhere to it.
SeparatedDads - 22-Jun-18 @ 12:35 PM
Hi, My partner is going through hell and it seems like the law is set up only to protect the mother. He and his ex partner has split but he simply wants access to his child on a regular basis, however although the mother has a history of mental issues relating to Post partum depression. On her evaluation she even confessed to having suicidal thoughts and wanting to kill the child. This information was presented in court but instead of her being under scrutiny, her allegations against my partner that he abuses alcohol and drugs, where brought under scrutiny so much so, he had to do tests to prove he is not abusing drugs or alcohol. All tests came back negative for my partner but yet he continues to not have access to the child although he is paying child support every month. The mother lives with her husband and 3 other children in her family home as she had entered into an affair with my partner and that's how she got pregnant. He has done Parenting classes under the recommendation of cafcass but yet every time he goes to court, the judge keeps deferring the case claiming there Is not enough evidence in order to make a decision and as a result a child is growing up without having a bond with her father. The mother only allows him to see his child when she feels like and that is one time in 2 months or none at all because she has already told him that there is nothing he can do and that he will not see his child because the law supports the mother. So please tell me if there is something he can do because he has even had solicitors in the past who proved to be a waste of time and money because on both occasion his previous solicitor only tried him to get him to coporate with the demands of Cafcass, who wrote in there evaluation that because my partner lives in a one bedroom flat, and the mother lives in a two bedroom house with her husband and 3 other children, then her home environment is a better family unit in comparison to my partners place, although, within in flat he has cot and draws for the child , whilst in the mothers house ,the child is sleeping in the same bed as the mother and her husband and the child has no bed of her own. Please tell me how this is right ?
Fran - 22-Jun-18 @ 12:01 AM
@Debi - unless your ex can prove it, he has a long way to go to prove damage from two years ago. Why didn't he report it at the time, that is the?
SamN - 15-Jun-18 @ 11:06 AM
@debi.what you just said doesn’t seem like it come of much sounds to me like hear say and no police report and the time frame nothing to worry about .just my view.
C.laurie - 12-Jun-18 @ 2:12 PM
My x is accusing me of criminal damage to his car more than 2 years ago saying his friend witnessed the damage being done its a questionbeingraised durring a court date to determine weather a fact findinghearingis required i was unaware untill now that he was saying tbe damage was done by me it was not reported to the police is his friend of 10 years a credible witness? Isnt it unfair to call a friend as a witness as the friend is going to lie if asked to do so by my x ?
Debi - 12-Jun-18 @ 12:12 PM
I have professional witnessness from pa­ssed to presnt day that validate me i ha­ve copies of chin meeting and and ins an­d outs of the world that is mine dating ­ from atleast 2014 . These are not gre­at reading BUT IM NOT the one you should­ into . ? . .. Also all her hand written accounts i­n meetings and varius . Should not be ev­en in court . She was challenged that he­r use of her diary was not allowed she a­cknwlege this and in reply said " i wil ­take the telling off "" i just cant get ­on with iphone"s . --. . . This is one off many /every s­ingle incounter of from my view a predit­or herself within the service. and ive experienced and as a true stat­ement the intimidation levels she throug­h on me were in every single way she thr­eatend me with her roles and authority .­.. Claims of non compliance well again­ i have profetional witneses .she has tr­ied to fail me and i havent ... The chil­dren are vulnerable and im calling it no­w for everying she has .. . Were a good family.­ I have extream support for my handling ­of the children .. Maybe just maybe i have done good by k­eeping my papers but we paying price agi­an . Why cant they gather info to put be­fore judge ?????? There was NONE .. Also­ what was written by her own admition wa­s not exceptable . Someone pls explain why am i fighting f­or my kids when clearly this is a miss u­se of .. Soz best i delete the name of the position within the S­ S . Sent from myMail app for Android
Slowbeonekanobe - 17-May-18 @ 3:21 AM
I was assaulted by my ex-husband but they took me to jail because he put on fake blood you pulled me by the back of my hair and maybe fall backwards on the hardwood floor I am disabled I've had double hip replacement and a broken femur and he wants me to go to court tomorrow and say that I was drunk and I had taken drugs but that is not true we were both drinking wine but I do not take drugs and I told the police that he had pulled me backwards by my hair to the floor and put on fake blood and the police told me he did not believe me and my ex wants to go tomorrow and get it dropped but he wants me to say I had taken drugs as well as alcohol but that's not the truth and I don't know what to do
Katie - 15-May-18 @ 1:21 AM
I am looking for advice as to the legal implications of lying during a child access case . L recently had this happen when my ex partner claimed during the hearing not to have remarried when he had .
Angie - 10-May-18 @ 3:34 PM
Hi I took my expartner to court due to not seeing my daughter on 2x13 weeks a 16 and 18 week gaps on mums say so. I took my ex to court and all seemed well as we reached an agreement and she even offered school holidays. Cafcass had to approve but some how have turned this into a nightmare. I've now not seen my daughter for a whole year she is 4years 6 months. We had a really good relationship and cafcass have ruined it. Social services were in full support and yet now I'm here any advice would be brilliant as I've spent in excess of over £10000 so far on solicitor fees
Cheese - 13-Apr-18 @ 6:47 PM
Hi i am currently going through court due to my ex partner stopping me from seeing my new born baby. The matter has gone to a circuit judge due to false allegations she has made against me. The only thing i am worried about is that she may have polluted her other childrens minds to make a statement against me. I used to have a good relationship with her other children, i used to take them out regularly without their mother and treat them like my own. Now i am really scared thatif she has polluted their minds it may prevent me from seeing my baby
Mr M - 25-Mar-18 @ 9:12 AM
Dave - Your Question:
Hi all this is the first time doing this my ex partner my sons mum. has stopped my access to my son. My mother's access and all my family she is claming I'm abusive and we have to go to court. My ex is a compulsive lier. lied to me at her age when we meet she was 17. told me she was 18. invited me to her 18th birthday. as a clown I am I turned up with a 19th bday card not knowing in till I saw the banners and bollons. she has nude photos on line that I have seen and have evidence. I have some good evidence in the pics like. moles/beauty spots. (in certain places no one else has. Necklaces. with nudes and with out. and other things om the photos her top half is out and her bottom half. she has lied to the police about me saying I have assaulted her. I have proven to police I'm incident. and no further action has been taken. never arrested but I have had to attend volentry interviews. never been charged. I confronted her about the naked photos on line. Only because of my son saftey and she went mad saying I was lieing and phoned the police on me for making false claims agents her. police has never spoken to me about this and also she claimed on her solicitors court doc they have. lieing again. I'm going to prove she's a lier and also have been from the start in family court and going to represent my self as well. I don't want to take my son away from his mum. In my eye they shouldn't but she's lieing to police about me trying to get me arrested. false claims I'm abusive stopped my access and my family's access. have I got a good case to protect my son from his lieing false making disgusting mother (disgusting mother part was only for the nude photo)and trust me the photos are bizarre. evidenced if needed. lying on court doc (purgury) lieing to police. waiting police time. and no doubt she will lie under oath. which will be proved on the day.Leave a messageLeave a comment

Our Response:
The court will not be interested in you trying to prove your ex lies. It will dismiss any claims you have and will not remove your child from his mother on this basis. The court is only interestsed in what it thinks is in the best interests of your child and not the parent's squabbling or mud-slinging. Your ex is entitled to live the life she wants to live. If you disagree with it, then that is your problem, but the court will not listen. The best advise we can give is to concentrate on working with your ex for what you think is in the best interests of your child, not working against her. The court will encourage this approach, and the approach for parents to get on, please see link here , not the approach you currently have. You may wish to join the Separated Dads forum which can help you develop a new way trying to get the best out of your situation. Currently, you are on a road that will not serve you well in court.
SeparatedDads - 19-Mar-18 @ 10:45 AM
Hi all this is the first time doing this my ex partner my sons mum.. has stopped my access to my son..My mother's access and all my family she is claming I'm abusive and we have to go to court..My ex is a compulsive lier.. lied to me at her age when we meet she was 17.. told me she was 18.. invited me to her 18th birthday.. as a clown I am I turned up with a 19th bday card not knowing in till I saw the banners and bollons... she has nude photos on line that I have seen and have evidence.. I have some good evidence in the pics like... moles/beauty spots... (in certain places no one else has...Necklaces.. with nudes and with out... . and other things om the photos her top half is out and her bottom half.. she has lied to the police about me saying I have assaulted her... I have proven to police I'm incident... and no further action has been taken.. never arrested but I have had to attend volentry interviews.. never been charged.... I confronted her about the naked photos on line. Only because of my son saftey and she went mad saying I was lieing and phoned the police on me for making false claims agents her ... police has never spoken to me about this and also she claimed on her solicitors court doc they have... lieing again..... I'm going to prove she's a lier and also have been from the start in family court and going to represent my self as well..I don't want to take my son away from his mum. In my eye they shouldn't but she's lieing to police about me trying to get me arrested... false claims I'm abusive stopped my access and my family's access..have I got a good case to protect my son from his lieing false making disgusting mother (disgusting mother part was only for the nude photo)and trust me the photos are bizarre... evidenced if needed.. lying on court doc (purgury) lieing to police.. waiting police time.. and no doubt she will lie under oath... which will be proved on the day... Leave a message Leave a comment
Dave - 18-Mar-18 @ 12:01 AM
I have come out of an emotional domestic abusive relationship on more then one occasion with an ex who is ge father of my unborn child. I'm currently 6 months pregnant and have nothing but stresss as I'm dealing with someone who which I believe to be a narcissist and have a narcissist personality disorder, which as you know is hard to prove. I do have messages screenshot and things saved and police are aware and documented as is my doctor who has signed me off through stress depression and anxiety. Due to the fact I've never denied him access however has put the word court in my mind to make me fear the worst. I have proof he is going to do this to buy Being written down. I will not be putting him on the birth certificate and I want him to have the minimum access and supervised as I don't want him round my house when she is here. Unfortunately I would have been more then willing to do this properly between ourselves but the threats and him accusing me of giving him domestic abuse saying he has messages again putting the fear in me and When actual fact it's the other way round. It's hard to deal with a narcissist and they paint a good light within themselves to others and make them the victim. Any legal advice would be much appreciated. Many thanks.
Gina - 6-Feb-18 @ 3:43 PM
For the past 3 years I have been living with the consequence of my actions in choosing to stay in a relationship afraid to lose my daughter but not being happy in the process. So to cut a long story short. I am a black man in early 30's at the time late 20's and we had moved house from the city to the country after finding out we were pregnant and realising we could not afford to live in the city. We were excited and everything seemed to be going well. I had a job waiting for me when we moved, it all seemed to be perfect. Soon after we moved my partner became depressed. I put it down to the pregnancy and tried to do all I could to help. She became worse after the pregnancy and I had started to become depressed myself. During this time of me being depressed from all of the stress and abuse I haven't mentioned... I met someone who simply new what to say and after a few weeks I began to have an affair. I know it was wrong, it was stupid, it was immoral and I have no excuse for my weakness... but it did happen, and I was found out. She decided that she wanted to make it work but this was actually a plan to set me up. A few months later, she dialled 999 and began shouting and screaming at me about cheating, and then began to start throwing herself around the room and shouting for help. I was arrested for DV, she was moved into a council house for free as she only worked part time and I was unable to see my daughter because I had no idea where she had been moved to. In court, it was terrible, I actually felt sorry for her, because her lies were so transparent. After I was proven not guilty I applied for access for my daughter (this was nearly a year after the arrest) it has taken a further year to get into court and now she is claiming I am a drug user! today will be 589 days since I have seen my daughter and it still hurts as much as the first day I was without her. I have now gone in armed with the truth and wisdom and I will make sure that my daughter knows how much I have fought to get her back in the fact finding hearing on 2nd Feb. I only hope that the court will once again see the truth, which Is an emotionally hurt but unstable woman that will do anything to get revenge after my affair. I know I was wrong to do so, but to use our baby as a weapon to inflict emotional torture on both me and our daughter is completely wrong to me. What I would like to know is if she is caught lying in the court on purpose (as she has done it before) is there a way I can get her to pay for those lies at my expense via the court?
A damaged rose - 28-Jan-18 @ 6:02 AM
@Justme - you can refuse. Your ex would then have to apply to court. If you're concerned, then the court may not allow him to go.
Ant89 - 22-Jan-18 @ 12:56 PM
My ex had an affair 5 years ago with a Czech girl 15 years his junior. They are still together and he has just announce they are getting married in Czech and would like our 11 year son to go. Despite my son always maintaining his relationship with his dad he has no relationship with his dads girlfriend. I think my son was upset with the situation with her at first and now neither of them try and they simply stay out of each other’s way during access. Our son is refusing to go to the wedding and nothing will change his mind. What can I do? can his dad force him to go? On another point his dad has no family his parents are elderly (in late 80 and 90’s) therefore are not attending he has no brothers, sisters cousins, aunts or uncles who would look after our boy during the wedding day and night? I simply feel I would panic that not only is in a foreign country with people he doesn’t know but also would be left with strangers not even with the same language. Potentially he may have English friend who could look after him but this isn’t fair! How do I progress!?
Justme - 20-Jan-18 @ 9:18 AM
My partner is fighting for his children In court but someone has written a statement saying they heard a conversation from me to another person Saying I was talking about information about the court case which is not true they come to my workplace and said they heard this conversation take place between two other people I was just wondering what rights I have on that statement been shown in court without me being present And if I should write a statement and the girl I had the conversation with should make a statement
Lea - 9-Jan-18 @ 12:26 PM
Socail servicesare usingaligations against me witch were made against some one else in there fresh hold in family courts. In my defencethat are discreditingme and slanderingmefrom being a father to my partners children
Andy - 26-Dec-17 @ 7:51 PM
I have been through 7 years of malicious behaviour from an ex girlfriend. We have two amazing children whom I love very much. She has caused the children myself, partner and family huge amounts of pain and suffering. After our final separation She ha done everything possible to cause me pain and upset. The children are her only weapon and she ha made it her only consistent focus to try and break me, and now break my marriage. She is consistently caught out as a Lier and when I finally took her to court she was completely shown for the price of work she is. But even though I went into court having not seen my children fr 5 painful months and her demanding I ever had them again. I walked out of the final hearing having gone alone with no solicitor walked out with more organised care than ever, everything I asked for on behalf of th children I was given. The court order was delivered but she has been chipping away at it from the start.And still activelyfocused on destroying the positive relationship I and there step Mother have with both children. Attacks my wife even with a babe in arms and frustrates contact, refusing them to come to us regularly. Now this was bad enough but again she is calling social services and basically making wild accusations and telling lies. I have done everything by the book, but I need advice on why she can continue to lie to everyone, including the law of the land and overstretched social services just to cause me pain and my wife. How do I make this stop, how do I make her legally stop.
Frustrated father - 22-Nov-17 @ 5:30 PM
I have been through 7 years of malicious behaviour from an ex girlfriend. We have two amazing children whom I love very much. She has caused the children myself, partner and family huge amounts of pain and suffering. After our final separation She ha done everything possible to cause me pain and upset. The children are her only weapon and she ha made it her only consistent focus to try and break me, and now break my marriage. She is consistently caught out as a Lier and when I finally took her to court she was completely shown for the price of work she is. But even though I went into court having not seen my children fr 5 painful months and her demanding I ever had them again. I walked out of the final hearing having gone alone with no solicitor walked out with more organised care than ever, everything I asked for on behalf of th children I was given. The court order was delivered but she has been chipping away at it from the start.And still activelyfocused on destroying the positive relationship I and there step Mother have with both children. Attacks my wife even with a babe in arms and frustrates contact, refusing them to come to us regularly. Now this was bad enough but again she is calling social services and basically making wild accusations and telling lies. I have done everything by the book, but I need advice on why she can continue to lie to everyone, including the law of the land and overstretched social services just to cause me pain and my wife. How do I make this stop, how do I make her legally stop.
Frustrated father - 22-Nov-17 @ 5:29 PM
An acquaintance is going to court over his children as his ex is trying to relocate them. He has had access to her statement in which she cites me as his current partner. This is not true and the ex hangs around with a particularly gossiping person who dislikes me. Is there anything I can do about her making false statement about me?
Bella - 31-Jul-17 @ 5:23 PM
My ex wife has a kid in care not my child an the social are making false statements about my mental health using them as a danger to this child dispute my cpn stating he sees none....the child's father has made a false allegations that I sexually abused this child which was dismissed by police as groundless bordering malicious...this is presented in his statement in family court an the social are saying I'm a danger to this child an my ex without a single shred of proof...no legal firm will help as I'm a non party to this trail but I'm named on nearly every page by all sides...an given only I can answer these statements I'm at a loss why I'm not allowed too.
Refi - 23-Jul-17 @ 1:26 AM
Rach - Your Question:
Hi I was wounderin if any one could help a threw months Togo my kids got took in to care by social survices as they sad the threshold had been met it wasent till after the court ended I received the paper work and notice that they had used false statments on the the threshold letter which I can prove wot can I do about this

Our Response:
In the first instance, you would have to complain directly to the local authority body in question. Please see CAB link here which will give you some tips about the best way to complain. You may also wish to seek legal advice if you think this is a matter for the courts, the CAB can help you assess whether you may have a case to answer.
SeparatedDads - 16-Jun-17 @ 10:07 AM
Hi I was wounderin if any one could help a threw months Togo my kids got took in to care by social survices as they sad the threshold had been met it wasent till after the court ended I received the paper work and notice that they had used false statments on the the threshold letter which I can prove wot can I do about this
Rach - 15-Jun-17 @ 12:48 PM
Hi I need some advice,a couple of weeks ago my kids got took in to care,to cut along story short I only received the paperwork going threw it I notice that wot they put wasent true and I can prove it but I don't no wot to do now cause I don't think my kids should go away threw false statements please help
Smithy - 2-Apr-17 @ 11:13 AM
Okay I have an issue, My 16 yr old daughter gave birth to my grand daughter in December , the conception was when she was 15yrs of age ....the father is applying for custodybut has lied about what information he was given about her vulnerability ....I maintain that as she was subject to a child protection plan for sexual exploitation andmy grand daughters father was fully aware of this... what if anything can I do to inform the court of his lies...This is also being investigated by the police with whom I have given a statement.
Kevjames29 - 2-Feb-17 @ 1:10 AM
I need help . My husband has made false accusations against me of dv , now I'm to be summoned to court on 2 charges of assault.I can handle that but they are using my 8 year old daughter against me in court, has anyone come across this before ?
Lost mum - 28-Jan-17 @ 1:48 PM
@Georgio - thanks for the advice. It's a minefield out there for sure. Lee.
LBH87 - 28-Nov-16 @ 2:38 PM
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