Home > Download Guides > After the Court Order: Sample Letters Part 1

After the Court Order: Sample Letters Part 1

By: Abigail Taylor - Updated: 29 Mar 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Letter Ex Court Children Surname Child

The final guide in our series, dealt with the ongoing issues you might face following a court order, including what to do when your ex refuses to uphold the order or attempts to change or adapt the court ruling against your wishes.

To accompany the final guide we've produced two sets of sample letters which should make it easier for you to communicate your wishes - and to keep a trackable record of all communications. To read any of the guides in this series take a look at the overview page.

The first set of letters are:

  1. Letter: change of surname
  2. Letter: being informed of child's school issues
  3. Letter: children moving school
  4. Letter: taking children on holiday
  5. Letter: agreeing communication whilst away

Letter: Change of Surname

22 Oct 2017

[Your address]

Dear [name],

I am writing in relation to our child, [child's full name]. I want to change [child's first name] name to [proposed full name].

My reasons for wanting to change [child's first name] are:
[reasons

  • E.g. so that she has the same name as her other siblings
  • E.g. so that she shares the same name as myself]

[Child's first name]'s view on this matter is [insert view e.g. she wants the same name as me]. *

As a person with parental responsibility, you have to consent to this name change. It will not cost you anything or affect any of the current financial and contact arrangements we have.

Please can you confirm that you consent to this name change in writing to the above address or via email to [your email address].

If you have any queries relating to this change then I would be happy to discuss the matter with you.

Kind regards,

[signature]
[your name]

*Only include this paragraph if your child has expressed a view and is old enough to have a say in this regard (perhaps aged 9yrs and over) as clearly a toddler cannot express a reasoned view as to their name.

Letter: Being informed of Child's School Issues

22 Oct 2017

[Your address]

Dear [name],

I am writing in relation to our children [names of children].

I would like to be kept informed of any issues relating to our children's education, including:*

  • Having a chance to read their school reports
  • Being informed in advance so that I might attend parent evenings / prize giving events
  • Being informed in advance so that I might attend any performances such as music concerts / school plays and any sports matches
  • Having a chance to discuss in advance any subject choices with our children
  • Having a chance to discuss with you any potential change of school / choice of university with you and our children

I would also like to be on our children's emergency contact list so that in the event the school cannot get hold of you for any reason, I can be contacted. I would then of course contact you to keep you informed of any emergency situation.

If you would like to discuss any of the above matters, then please do not hesitate to contact me at the above address or via email at {your email].

Kind regards,

[signature]
[your name]

*Delete / add your own items as appropriate in this list

Letter: Children Moving School

22 Oct 2017

[your address]

Dear [name],

I am writing in relation to our children [children's names]. I understand that you want them to move from their present school to [name of school].

I am concerned about this proposed move because:*

  • a) it is a big upheaval away from their friends
  • b) they are settled at their current school and doing well
  • c) the proposed new school does not have as high an Ofsted rating as their current school
  • d) the proposed new school is much further away than their current school

I would prefer to resolve this issue ourselves rather than have to get the courts involved which would only cause extra stress, inconvenience and expense for us both. I would therefore like to discuss my above concerns with you before a final decision is made and the children move schools. Please can you contact me within the next 14 days via email at [your email address] or phone ([your phone number]) to arrange a convenient time for us to meet to discuss this issue.

I look forward to hearing from you shortly.

Kind regards,

[signature]
[your name]

*Add in your own / delete concerns as appropriate.

Letter: Taking Children on Holiday

22 Oct 2017

[Your address]

Dear [name],

I am writing to inform you that I am taking our children [names of children] on holiday from [date] to [date]. We are going to [place in the UK] with [names of anyone else going]. During this holiday we will be [activity e.g. sightseeing].

This will not affect our current contact arrangements.*

This will obviously affect our current contact arrangements. I suggest that to make up for the time you would miss with our children during this period, you have the opportunity of an extra contact time of [number of days / evenings missed]. I am happy to arrange for this one-off addition to your contact at a mutually convenient time within 6 weeks of our return from holiday.*

If you wish to discuss my holiday arrangements, please contact me within the next 7 days. Otherwise I will assume that you have no objections to my arrangements.

Kind regards,

[signature]
[your name]

*You will need to choose the most appropriate of these paragraphs and delete the other. You do not have to offer additional contact time but it will prevent any later arguments about them having missed out on contact time.

Letter: Agreeing Communication Whilst Away

22 Oct 2017

[Your address]

Dear [name],

I am / you are planning on going away on holiday on [date] to [date]. During this holiday, I would like us to be in regular communication and also be able to contact each other during emergencies.

I will give you / please will you give me:

  • The address of (y)our hotel / accommodation for the duration of the holiday
  • The times of (y)our flight / ferry

I will also keep my mobile on me at all times. / Please will you keep your mobile on you at all times?

I will also ensure that you are notified via text when we arrive in [place] and when we return to the UK. / Please ensure that I am notified when you arrive in [place] and when you return to the UK.

Should any accident / emergency arise during the holiday I will ensure you are notified / please ensure I am notified and keep in touch until the situation is resolved.

Kind regards,

[signature]
[your name]

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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[Add a Comment]
I obtained a final order in January and had a Cafcass section 7 report which was damning on her part, the access has been staggered and a slow build up as per the court order, this weekend is to be my first full weekend having had 1 night for the past 3 visits and now she says my son is anxious and tearful which he has never shown with me and she wants to keep to 1 night which is against the order. She has written to court, if only it was that simple. I have spoken with his school and they haven't noticed any change in behaviours so it seems to be just her final way of getting back at me. i have emailed her and stressed that the order must be kept to and she is adamant he wont be allowed to stay the agreed 2 nights - how can this be right???
Dents - 29-Mar-17 @ 4:32 PM
My son-in-law discovered he was the father of a three yr old daughter seven years ago. He pays maintenance and has been to court on at least six occasions to get access for contact with his child. He and the mother had a fortnight long relationship. Court order states he can see child for two hours once a week and all day every other weekend plus child staying at his during school holidays. Mother has never allowed him to see the child without her being there. On occasions she has also brought her own mother too. Why do courts not impose some restriction on the parent with residency? It all seems a waste of time and children are suffering. Deeji
Deeji - 31-Dec-16 @ 7:38 PM
@Natty - If your ex is breaching the court order she cannot be forced to have your daughter if she is inebriated (which is part of the order) and a court will never force a parent to have a child if it is against that parent's will. So, while you can stop contact if your ex breaches the order, you can't actually force contact. JTG
Jamie78 - 9-Dec-16 @ 2:53 PM
We have finally got a final court order on 27th September it is now 2nd December and my ex is breaching the order every week by not having her on Saturdays. My daughter lives with me 6 nights a week and my ex has my daughter 3 days and 1 night. Can I take it back to court this soon ? She must of let us down 10/15 already top of my head. Also she's signed a under writing to the judge not to drink 24h before or while having my daughter. Today I got sent a message saying she was at a party with my daughter drinking small bottles of wine is that enough proof ? Can I take it back to court ? Thanks
Natty - 2-Dec-16 @ 8:18 PM
SoggyP - Your Question:
I have not seen my daughter for three years after me and her mum split and she stopped me seeing her. Then she moved and I don't know where they are. We went to court and I was given written access four times a year. I was given the address of a friend of my ex to write to but she has now moved and I have no forwarding address. What can I do as I have no idea whether or not my daughter will receive my letters now and I have no idea where she is.

Our Response:
If you are given written access through a court order and this has failed, you can take the order back to court to have it enforced. The courts can put a trace on the whereabouts of your child. Please see link:Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do here .
SeparatedDads - 31-May-16 @ 10:56 AM
I have not seen my daughter for three years after me and her mum split and she stopped me seeing her. Then she moved and I don't know where they are. We went to court and I was given written access four times a year.. I was given the address of a friend of my ex to write to but she has now moved and I have no forwarding address. What can I do as I have no idea whether or not my daughter will receive my letters now and I have no idea where she is.
SoggyP - 30-May-16 @ 10:17 AM
Hi Can anyone help I recently went to court for a Specific Issue order done by the Mother, it was agreed that our four year old son due to be five in August changes school. It was not until a few months later that I had discovered that the previous order was changed without my knowledge to show that I no longer have shared custody and now just have parental responsibility. The Mother is now saying she wants to remove our son to go and live in Spain as she knows she has sole custody. I have written to the Judge as the order was drawn up by the other parties solicitor at the time, he has said that he is refusing to revert it back to former states, saying that the new order supersedes the previous order. I have been told that I now need to go back in front of the judge to reapply for what I already had, or appeal! Clearly if I go up against a Judge It will not look good. I am at my wits end as to how to move forward, I currently have my Son every Tuesday to Wednesday and every other weekend, she has played on Domestic Violence for the last three years, which never ever took place and was order as No Further Action. The Mother is also experiencing depression and making lots of wrong decisions which she admits when she is in a good place.. She is doing all this to force me into having a relationship with her.
Bobby - 21-May-16 @ 9:53 AM
From the start of our breakdown,my wife has done everything to try to stop me seeing our three daughters.I now have a court order in place for access,My daughters came over for the weekend and the eldest who is 9 informed me that her mother told all 3 of them that there grandad(her father)is now dad to them.I am deeply offended and concerned about my daughter being told this and concerned about my daughter being upset by this.How should i deal with this?
Andy - 4-Aug-15 @ 7:36 PM
After I separated from my wife 8 years ago she would not let me see my children so I spent tens of thousands of pounds on solicitors and got court order which has worked till now. She has now informed me that the children won't be coming anymore.I have no money left and am in debt due to court costs.It just seems even with court orders she can do what she wants .The children have fun and look forward to seeing me, we have a close and loving relationship.Will I have to pay yet again to take this back to court when it's her that's in breach of the order? (She gets legal aid) it seems completely unfair. I am in Scotland (in case of different laws) what should I do now?
Exhausted - 3-Aug-15 @ 2:57 PM
had a final hearing in March.We were never married.Judged order ex to pay maintenance and kids and I stay in the family home (kids wishes to stay we me in the home).He has not kept to the Court Order so I am completing a C79.Judge said that I had to leave the house when son reached 18.Where can I find a clause or the legislation which states that that 18 or until they complete full time education.Need this info as I am representing myself.Otherwise the house goes back to him in October and my son finishes 6th Form the July after which will cause major problems to my son.Ex convinced Judge by saying that no one knows if son will do 6th Form so he wanted it up to the age of 18 and was granted!
fedup - 16-Jul-15 @ 1:56 PM
@Feeling fried - you could approach the school and ask for a letter verifying the name was changed without your consent and this should not have been done given you have PR.
Anna - 14-Jul-15 @ 12:11 PM
Can someone advise please A letter has been written by an ex partner to child's school to change preferred surname which included both mums and dads name written from the 'we' perspective then signed only by mother but dads name under yours sincerely alongside the mothers. The school changed the name. However Dad had no knowledge of this letter and did not agree to this change. What can he do as she now using this as evidence in private court proceedings
Feeling fried - 11-Jul-15 @ 11:57 AM
I have a court order that states i am aloud to send letters to my daughter via social worker this order was made 2 months back and i am in court for final hearing in 2 weeks yet social worker has still noton not passed on the letter can i have the social worker held in contempt of court for not abiding by the court order and if so how do i go about it thank you for any help that can be offered
robert - 19-May-15 @ 10:48 AM
@broony - if the social worker has ruled that you cannot see your son, then there must have been a valid concern and reason. You would have to speak to the social worker directly in order to ascertain what steps they are going to take. It is not considerd a breach if an authoritative body decides to step in and overule the court order to take matters into its own hands.
SeparatedDads - 14-May-15 @ 2:56 PM
Hi have court order against my ex partner its been going three year up on till last wee a was on sick benefits for depression when social work was called too do home vitst starting it was due too acoloh and in formed ex partner now she won't let me see my 9 yr old son is she breaching court order
broony - 13-May-15 @ 1:47 AM
@sunny - she has no right unless there is an injunction out on you not to approach the house.
Carrie - 2-Feb-15 @ 2:02 PM
HI my ex wife will not let me drop the kids on their street and warns me she will call poilce if i do i have no issues with the court can she do this what right has she got ?
sunny - 31-Jan-15 @ 11:30 AM
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