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How Do I Find My Children's New Address?

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 23 Aug 2018 |
 
Tracing Agent Find Ex-partner Address

Q.

Thank you for the continuous provision of information and case studies for separated dads. The information has really been very helpful. I, however, have a problem and would like your advice.

My ex-partner moved house about a month and a half ago. She did not tell me she was moving or give her new address. I have tried to call her but she hasn't answered her phone. Although I do not particularly think this is to do with me, I am not sure what her intentions are.

I have tried to obtain the new address from the school where the children go and the Child Benefit Agency but no one could give it to me. I have not seen the kids for a month. I do not think they are at risk but I miss them. I have contacted a solicitor and have been told that I will need to apply to the court but that will take along time.

Unfortunately, I do not know any of her friends to give me the address. Do you possibly know how I can obtain an address in a much quicker way?

(J.K, 31 August 2009)

A.

Hello, I’m glad that you find the information on the site useful. Your solicitor is right: if you choose to go through the court it may be a long and drawn out process. However, the good news is that there is a way you can obtain your ex-partner’s new address. If you’ve ever wondered how companies that are owed money manage to track their ‘gone away’ debtors – this is it!

How to Find Your Ex-Partner

Go online and search for a ‘tracing agent’. You don’t necessarily need one that’s near to your home. A lot of the time the companies that offer this type of service are also private investigators, process servers (serving legal documents on people) enforcement agents (debt collection and other types of financial/property seizure), as well as tracing agents.

Bear in mind that there will be a fee for this service, which should be around £50 (plus VAT). If you can, use a ‘no trace, no fee’ service to guarantee that you only pay for the results you want. However, it is a very quick way to find your ex-partner’s address, and a substantial proportion of traces are completed the same day. You may also be given your ex-partner’s new telephone number, if she has one, and if it is available (i.e. not ex-directory).

How it Works

Most traces are carried out by conducting searches over a wide range of electronic databases. In more difficult cases, the tracing agent may have to use more extensive techniques of tracing and tracking to find the required information. A tracing agent will not make your ex-partner aware that you are trying to track her and your children down.

Before you employ the services of your agent, make sure that they verify the information they find: the last thing you want is to pay for the wrong address! This will be the most effective method for finding the address you require. You will be unlikely to be able to obtain much, if any, information through the child benefit offices or through your children’s school: they may have cited the Data Protection Act as a reason not to disclose this information to you. I wish you the very best of luck!

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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caroo - 18-Aug-18 @ 6:28 AM
SadDad - Your Question:
I was separated from my kids when they were two and three years old, have a son and a daughter, my ex-wife's family was very deceivious and was turning them all against me. I love my children but I haven't seen them in a very long time they are 16 and 17 years old now. I want to be a part of their lives and be able to tell them I'm sorry for not being around all those years but it was out of my control. I think I know what city and state they live in but I don't know what to do to be able to find out how to make contact I've done online searches everything and everything comes up empty. Can somebody please help me. every time I find one of my kids on social media my ex-wife must see it that I find it and she blocks it. And it's tearing me apart.

Our Response:
Unfortunately, as we are a UK-based site we cannot offer information or help as we have knowledge of only UK-based family law (which has a court option to put a trace on children if a non-resident parent wishes to apply through the courts for access).I assume it is the same aborad as in the UK, that once your children are of age, you have every right to contact them without going to court and without permission from your ex.
SeparatedDads - 17-Aug-18 @ 2:30 PM
I was separated from my kids when they were two and three years old, have a son and a daughter, my ex-wife's family was very deceivious and was turning them all against me. I love my children but I haven't seen them in a very long time they are 16 and 17 years old now. I want to be a part of their lives and be able to tell them I'm sorry for not being around all those years but it was out of my control. I think I know what city and state they live in but I don't know what to do to be able to find out how to make contact I've done online searches everything and everything comes up empty. Can somebody please help me. every time I find one of my kids on social media my ex-wife must see it that I find it and she blocks it . And it's tearing me apart.
SadDad - 17-Aug-18 @ 12:58 PM
My boyfriend has 7 yr oldd daughter who he has not seen in over 4 yrs the ex took off and cut all contacts with family we know where she may be but to take action we are afraid she will run off again . We are currently in the process of getting a paternity test for another child .. the issues with this one is she did not put his name on the bc but she had givin him acess to herup until she was 2 he wants to order a paternity and regain any rights how can we start
Lexx - 24-Jul-18 @ 5:22 AM
CaptObvi - Your Question:
I find it disgusting that this is being advocated on this website. My sister left her ex due to physical, mental and emotional abuse. He abducted their 10 week old child and refused her access for 2 weeks. We had to take him to court to get her baby back. He is only allowed supervised visits at a contact centre with the baby but my sister lives in fear that he will find her address and come after her. Perhaps you should bear this in mind for the protection of abuse victims?!

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear that your sister had a tough time. On the other hand there are many people who flee with their children because they simply do not wish the other parent to have access to the child. Every non-resident parent has the right to take the matter to court to apply for access to their child. The court C4 form, which is an application for an order for disclosure of a child's whereabouts will allow the courts to put a trace on the child to allow the non-resident parent to apply to court. However, the resident parent of the child can request that the address information is kept confidential to the court. The police can help protect proven abuse victims, as can the courts. Agreeable, it is a non-perfect situation. But in those situations where a parent keeps a child from the other parent for no good reason apart from pure animosity, then trying to locate the other parent in order to gain access to the child is deemed fair.
SeparatedDads - 19-Jun-18 @ 12:32 PM
I find it disgusting that this is being advocated on this website. My sister left her ex due to physical, mental and emotional abuse. He abducted their 10 week old child and refused her access for 2 weeks. We had to take him to court to get her baby back. He is only allowed supervised visits at a contact centre with the baby but my sister lives in fear that he will find her address and come after her. Perhaps you should bear this in mind for the protection of abuse victims?!
CaptObvi - 19-Jun-18 @ 9:46 AM
Ingy- Your Question:
My ex partner found out she was pregnant and binned me off when she was around 12 weeks pregnant. I worked at the hospital and was banned from carrying out my duties because she fabricated utter lies about me, this sent my anxiety spiralling out of control (like the split wasn’t bad enough) and there was a chance that I might not have been able to have children.She said she would always let me be in my child’s life and that she would remain in contact with either me or one of my family members (this never happened) I have spent the last 18 months or so trying to prepare myself mentally for battle with this vindictive, narcissistic woman but I have no idea where to begin. I’ve spent so much time contemplating knocking on her door but when we split she asked me never to go around and that she would be in touch. I feel really bad about the whole situation even though I have adhered to her wishes. I am totally fed up of people judging me for following her requests but enough is enough. I’m the dad (or I think I am) and I now want my daughter in my life what the hell do I do? I have a family member who is pretty clued up on the matter but I can’t use them as my solicitor through conflict of interest and I really want to take her to the cleaners.

Our Response:
You would have to go through the process laid out in the link here and here . Unfortunately, there is no short cut. If your ex refuses to attend mediation and you cannot afford legal fees, you can represent yourself in court, please see link here. You may also wish to join our Separated Dads forum, which will help with any questions you need answering. I'm sure your family member can help advise and/or you could use them as a McKenzie Friend, please see link here. However, if there is a conflict of interest, you may wish to find someone else.
SeparatedDads - 15-May-18 @ 2:14 PM
My ex partner found out she was pregnant and binned me off when she was around 12 weeks pregnant. I worked at the hospital and was banned from carrying out my duties because she fabricated utter lies about me, this sent my anxiety spiralling out of control (like the split wasn’t bad enough) and there was a chance that I might not have been able to have children. She said she would always let me be in my child’s life and that she would remain in contact with either me or one of my family members (this never happened) I have spent the last 18 months or so trying to prepare myself mentally for battle with this vindictive, narcissistic woman but I have no idea where to begin. I’ve spent so much time contemplating knocking on her door but when we split she asked me never to go around and that she would be in touch. I feel really bad about the whole situation even though I have adhered to her wishes. I am totally fed up of people judging me for following her requests but enough is enough. I’m the dad (or I think I am) and I now want my daughter in my life what the hell do I do? I have a family member who is pretty clued up on the matter but I can’t use them as my solicitor through conflict of interest and I really want to take her to the cleaners.
Ingy - 15-May-18 @ 5:10 AM
Hi my ex took my 2 kids away from me told social services aload of lies she let me see them then got a new boyfriend cut all contact then let me see them then cut all contact again had to go for risk assement was told could have suppervised visits but as i had no family or friends to put forward was stopped from seeing my kids then found out shes got another boyfriend whos been violent to her in front of my kids my ex has told ss that she no longer sees this guy yet tonight ive found out shes lied he still there un that my kids are scared of him there mums getting them to lie to ss because of a childhood trauma ive recently been diagnosed with e.u.p.dive already had 1 breakdown un im on the way to another as im at my wits end with worry for my kids saftey because of my mental illness i dont know what to do
Gaz - 15-May-18 @ 2:12 AM
Rick - Your Question:
Hi. Me and my ex split when she was 8 weeks pregnant. She has moved house and had a baby boy in march. I don't have any details of his name, where abouts. nothing! I want to be part of his life. What can I do to find him

Our Response:
If you cannot find your ex, you would have to apply directly to court, please see link here . You would also have to take the advice in the article, or fill in a C4 form which is an application for an order for disclosure of a child’s whereabouts. This will allow the court to put a trace on your ex and help you to bring the matter to court. If you cannot afford legal representation you can self-litigate, please see link here. You also might be able to get money off your court or tribunal fees if you have little or no savings, are on certain benefits or have a low income, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 26-Apr-18 @ 12:09 PM
Hi. Me and my ex split when she was 8 weeks pregnant. She has moved house and had a baby boy in march. I don't have any details of his name, where abouts.. nothing! I want to be part of his life. What can I do to find him
Rick - 25-Apr-18 @ 1:18 AM
Mary jane - Your Question:
Ok so im not a dad but a mother. I am divorced from my ex husband and he got sole custody of kids wirhout even letting me get a chance. Now in the divorce papers he is suppose to let me know everything going on with my kids and I have to know where they are living. I pay child support and he does not let me talk to my kids and I send them stuff in the mail and his new gf always has excuses why they havent got my gifts. I have been calling everyday and no response. I feel as tho they are trying ti get me out of my kids life. I have done nothing wrong for him to do this. I just dont know what to do.

Our Response:
Mediation is the first option to consider when parents cannot agree, followed by an application for a child arrangement order if your ex refuses to attend mediation, please see link here. If you cannot afford legal representation you can self-litigate, please see link here. If you are on a low income you also may get a reduction in court fees, please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 19-Apr-18 @ 2:35 PM
Ok so im not a dad but a mother. I am divorced from my ex husband and he got sole custody of kids wirhout even letting me get a chance. Now in the divorce papers he is suppose to let me know everything going on with my kids and i have to know where they are living. I pay child support and he does not let me talk to my kids and i send them stuff in the mail and his new gf always has excuses why they havent got my gifts. I have been calling everyday and no response. I feel as tho they are trying ti get me out of my kids life. I have done nothing wrong for him to do this. I just dont know what to do.
Mary jane - 17-Apr-18 @ 3:09 PM
GWild - Your Question:
Hello,I hope Someone can help me. I divorced from my Ex-Wife eight years ago, we had two kids together and I saw them regularly every other weekend, my job dependent as I'm in the Army. In 2011, I went a little off the rails and started drinking heavily, seeing my kids less and less which is my own fault. I lost my phone at the time and so lost my Ex-wife's number, I also didn't know where she lived as we would always meet somewhere else when I took the kids.I don't blame her for not trying to contact me, I take full responsibility for what happened. I haven't seen my kids since February 2011. I met my current wife in 2013 and I have been trying to find where they live since then, my Wife encourages me with this, especially as we now have two kids of our own. I found my Ex-wife on Facebook, and I don't want to just message her out of the blue. Honestly I'm too scared to message her now after so long and I don't know how the kids would react to me trying to get back in touch.If anyone has any advice on how I would be able to get contact with my children, then I would be immensely grateful.

Our Response:
The only option is to write an honest note saying why you backed off and that you regret having done so. You may wish to suggest mediation as an option to her in order to try to come to an agreement about seeing the kids, (if she doesn't wish to see you or make arrangements directly). If you go into it expecting possible rejection, then anything positive will be a bonus. Plus, it is also wise to think through the different permutations of what course of action you will take if she says no or doesn't respond. Such as; will you stop asking, or will you push ahead to take the matter to court? If so, you can find where your kids live by filling in a C4 court form alongside a child arrangement order. This will allow the court to put a trace on the address.Joining our Separated Dads forum and asking for advice from dads who have been through a similar situation may also help you to make an informed decision. I shall also put an edited version of question on our Separated Dads Facebook page, you can see your answers via the link here. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 13-Apr-18 @ 12:12 PM
Hello, I hope Someone can help me. I divorced from my Ex-Wife eight years ago, we had two kids together and i saw them regularly every other weekend, my job dependent as I'm in the Army. In 2011, i went a little off the rails and started drinking heavily, seeing my kids less and less which is my own fault. I lost my phone at the time and so lost my Ex-wife's number, i also didn't know where she lived as we would always meet somewhere else when i took the kids. I don't blame her for not trying to contact me, i take full responsibility for what happened. I haven't seen my kids since February 2011. I met my current wife in 2013 and i have been trying to find where they live since then, my Wife encourages me with this, especially as we now have two kids of our own. I found my Ex-wife on Facebook, and i don't want to just message her out of the blue.Honestly I'm too scared to message her now after so long and i don't know how the kids would react to me trying to get back in touch. If anyone has any advice on how i would be able to get contact with my children, then i would be immensely grateful.
GWild - 12-Apr-18 @ 4:01 PM
Let it be - Your Question:
Hello, do I have any rights at all if my name isn't on my son's birth certificate? I have only seen him once and he is 5 now and I have no contact with the mother. She messed me about when he was born then moved away somewhere and I have no idea how to get in touch with him or anything. I payed child support whilst I was working but I have been off work for a while due to mental health issues. Do I have any rights as the biological father even if my name isn't on the birth certificate?

Our Response:
Yes, you do have rights to see your child, regardless of whether you are on the birth certificate or not. However, you would have to apply to court. You can apply for Parental Responsibility and access to your child. You can see what PR is here. With regards to applying for contact, you would have to apply via the courts if you cannot find your ex. You can apply for a child arrangement order, please see link here . You would also have to fill in a C4 form, which is an application for an order for disclosure of a child’s whereabouts. This will allow the courts to put a trace on your child, so that you can bring the matter to court. If you are not working, please see link here. You can also self-litigate if you cannot afford legal representation, please see link here . I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 23-Feb-18 @ 11:34 AM
Hello, do I have any rights at all if my name isn't on my son's birth certificate? I have only seen him once and he is 5 now and I have no contact with the mother. She messed me about when he was born then moved away somewhere and I have no idea how to get in touch with him or anything. I payed child support whilst I was working but I have been off work for a while due to mental health issues. Do I have any rights as the biological father even if my name isn't on the birth certificate?
Let it be - 22-Feb-18 @ 1:40 PM
Hendry - Your Question:
Hello Guys,This is a very helpful site. My wife left with my 6 years old son. Tracked her down several times by hacking into her email. She let me see my son for 4 times and she broke down all contacts. I have filled c100 form plus c4 so the court can track them down. I am not sure what she said to social services. She also refused to give me her new number. she did not press charges although she gave me hint about she reported me for DV. I miss my son. I am in trauma and I can not understand what to do and how to meet him. I am done with her. She accused me of relations outside marriage which is completely wrong. She has no proof because I never had any relation outside marriage. She made my life hell from last two years and I was living with her just for the sake of son. She already changed my son's school. I have asked for specific issue order, arrangement order and prohibited steps order. Please advise how helpful it can be to track them down. I do not have to do anything with my wife. I just want to see my son. I have not blamed her for anything on c100 form. I will reply her if she comes back with allegations. You guys are experienced and providing great help. Please advise if I am missing something or should take any other steps.

Our Response:
We cannot say how long it will take for the courts to track down your son. Much depends upon how straightforward it is to find her. You may wish to join our Separated Dads forum if you need further advice.
SeparatedDads - 16-Feb-18 @ 12:44 PM
Hello Guys, This is a very helpful site. My wife left with my 6 years old son. Tracked her down several times by hacking into her email. She let me see my son for 4 times and she broke down all contacts. I have filled c100 form plus c4 so the court can track them down. I am not sure what she said to social services. She also refused to give me her new number. she did not press charges although she gave me hint about she reported me for DV. I miss my son. I am in trauma and I can not understand what to do and how to meet him. I am done with her. She accused me of relations outside marriage which is completely wrong. She has no proof because I never had any relation outside marriage. She made my life hell from last two years and I was living with her just for the sake of son. She already changed my son's school. I have asked for specific issue order, arrangement order and prohibited steps order. Please advise how helpful it can be to track them down. I do not have to do anything with my wife. I just want to see my son. I have not blamed her for anything on c100 form. I will reply her if she comes back with allegations. You guys are experienced and providing great help. Please advise if I am missing something or should take any other steps.
Hendry - 13-Feb-18 @ 2:12 PM
@Tizzy - yes, but where do you draw the line for the poor innocent dads trying to track their kids if the mothers have done one with the kids. I spend two years trying to track my son so I could bring it to court. I'd not done anything wrong, it was just that my ex wanted to be with her new b/f and didn't want me in my kid's life. Wholly unfair!
BriT - 12-Jan-18 @ 2:32 PM
Hi, not knocking the service its 100% great for legitimate reasons but what's in place to stop abusive partners/fathers/mothers using these investigative services to find their exes and children potentiallyputting unsuspecting people/children in harms way?
Tizzy - 11-Jan-18 @ 11:34 PM
Zedhalo - Your Question:
Hi. May Crystal send me the details of the tracing agent he/she used please. Or may anyone send me the cheap but effective tracing agent they have used before please.Thank you.

Our Response:
You can also apply through court with a C100 contact order. You just have to fill in a C4 form at the same time, which is an 'application for an order for disclosure of a child’s whereabouts'. This will allow the court to put a trace on your children.
SeparatedDads - 17-Nov-17 @ 11:30 AM
Hi. May Crystal send me the details of the tracing agent he/she used please. Or may anyone send me the cheap but effective tracing agent they have used before please.Thank you.
Zedhalo - 16-Nov-17 @ 6:31 PM
Simon - Your Question:
I got divorced from my childrens mum in 1997. The mother with the support of social services brainwashed my kids to believe I was a petvert. I went to court for contact for about 10 years. Despite court orders the mother over ruled the court and I have had no contact except very sporodic about 10 years ago. Any idea how I can find my children and hope that maybe they dont hate me. Simon

Our Response:
You don't say how old your children are now. If they are over 18, you are free to contact them. You may be able to contact them via social media or hire a tracing agency. If your children are under school-leaving age then you would have to apply for a child arrangement order through the courts. Along with this, you can fill in a C4 form, which is an application for an order for disclosure of a child’s whereabouts. This will allow the courts to put a trace on your children, in order to allow you to bring the matter to court.
SeparatedDads - 21-Sep-17 @ 3:41 PM
I got divorced from my childrens mum in 1997. The mother with the support of social services brainwashed my kids to believe I was a petvert. I went to court for contact for about 10 years. Despite court orders the mother over ruled the court and I have had no contact except very sporodic about 10 years ago. Any idea how I can find my children and hope that maybe they dont hate me. Simon
Simon - 20-Sep-17 @ 11:44 PM
Jaida's dad- Your Question:
Good day Can someone please help me find my daughter??? Or advise me??? Her mother's name Leila she lives in Sheffield!!! I'll reward anyone who finds them for me please!!! I'm in bits over this!!! My daughter is my world!!!

Our Response:
You can apply through the courts for contact via a C100 form and fill in a C4 form, which is application for an order for disclosure of a child’s whereabouts. This means the court will put a trace on your child to allow you to apply for contact. Otherwise, you could contact a tracing company (see comment below) who may be able to help locate your child.
SeparatedDads - 15-Sep-17 @ 2:53 PM
Hazel - Your Question:
Absolutely brilliant article and advice, thank you. We had new address in 7 hours :-) Using an online people search agency as advised above. It cost £75 but it was worth it.

Our Response:
Thanks for sharing this information with us. We hope it helps other readers.
SeparatedDads - 15-Sep-17 @ 2:37 PM
Ruthie - Your Question:
Hi my husband has not seen his son since 6 months old his ex has moved twice and re married so we do not have a clue what her surname is now. Is there still a way she could be traced or my son ?

Our Response:
Yes, if your husband wishes to apply for contact, he can fill in a C100 form and a C4 form which is application for an order for disclosure of a child’s whereabouts. This means the court will put a trace on his child to allow him to apply for contact.
SeparatedDads - 11-Sep-17 @ 4:26 PM
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