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What Organisations Help With Rights for Dads?

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 11 Sep 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Fathers Men Parents Fathers4justice

All too often, separated and divorced fathers feel they’re alone. Women have support groups of all kinds, but the men can seem left out in the cold. If they feel a sense of injustice in the way the courts have treated them, over access or other issues, they might feel quite isolated.

But there are a number of different groups that work on behalf of men. In most instances they’ve been formed by men themselves from a sense of outrage. Some – for better or worse – have received a fair amount of media coverage, but most operate largely under the radar of publicity.

They do share a lot of common goals, especially fighting for the rights of fathers, which some of them believe have been trampled by the rights of mothers, and that fathers often never receive a fair deal in court.

Fathers4Justice

Probably the best-known group is Fathers4Justice, which was formed in 2003 by Matt O’Connor after a bad divorce meant he had no regular access to his children. Their tactics, such as pelting the Prime Minister with condoms in Parliament, or the alleged kidnap plot against the PM’s son, have given them a great deal of publicity, most of it very unfavourable to the cause of fathers. But there’s no doubt that, as a pressure group, they’ve highlighted the plight of a number of fathers. In 2005, a spin-off group, Real Fathers for Justice, emerged.

Other Organisations

Families Need Fathers is, as the name implies, aimed primarily at fathers, but extends its services to mothers, grandparents and others, too. Its aim is to keep all the parties involved with their children. They particularly work with fathers undergoing separation and worried about access, helping them reach agreements to remain close to their children, and have excellent resources, including branches across the country, workshops, and a great deal more. It’s far more low-key than Fathers4Justice, and has been around a few decades now.

Also worth noting is the Fatherhood Institute, although this isn’t an advocate for separated fathers in the same ways as the others. Founded in 1999 (reportedly with the support of the government), it does support co-operative parenting, and has a number of publications for fathers, with the intent of keeping fathers as strong role models.

The Equal Parenting Council works for both parents being involved with their children after separation or divorce, and its long-term goal is to change the family justice system. It can help parents – not just men - with Cafcass and negotiate the Family Court System.

BabyFather is aimed specifically at fathers in the black community, working with the charity Barnado’s. Founded in 2002, it runs a number of programmes, and has begun a couple of training and consultancy services to help absent fathers become more involved with their children, and also focuses on the particular problems of black families.

For those living in the Nottingham area, Men United Fathers Network works for fathers in all situations, not simply those seeking greater access to their children, but as a parenting organisation. Other areas, such as Hull, also have groups for fathers.

Finally, there’s Parentline Plus. As the name says, it’s not solely for fathers, but it can help, with a 24-hour helpline that’s confidential. They also have phone support groups, and message boards on their website that can be useful to fathers.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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Hi my boyfriends baby mother was a controlling person and made him marry her by cutting herself and saying she will kill herself if he didn’t marry her so he did she even told him to sell his home and kick out his elderly parents. She use to force feed him and he’d have to compliment her food after first mouthful and tell him when he’s allowed to sleep and when he’s allowed to wake up and every other day she would kick him out and make him sleep in the car so she knew he wasn’t out cheating. They had a kid together and he did everything she wanted just to spend time with his kid and at on point not long after the kids 4th birthday they split up and she would call randomly early hours in the morning after he would work all night and say take your son to school as his sons school is near where he lived and she lives half an hour drive from it so he would even though exhausted he would jump at the chance just to spend that half an hour with his son but he weren’t allowed to just visit him as he pleases. Just random times she would call him tell him to take her shopping and make him pay which he never mind nor complained about it due to him feeling like he’s feeding his son and the woman that’s looking after his son. Sometimes she would say for him to come visit the son so he would drive up then when he gets there she says why are you here I will call the police if you don’t go and everytime breaking his heart as he’d just got excited to see his son. She then told him to take his son school every Tuesday and Thursday but would either turn her phone off at the night or tell him early hours in the morning that she don’t want him taking the son. Proper mess about he was also told he isn’t allowed to take the son near his brother and sisters and the rest of his family. Then out of no where she calls the police and says that he held a knife to his throat so he got arrested and bailed out she also did a non molestation order on him and then 2 and a half months later she was in his area and she saw him in his car and all he did was saw his son reversed got out the car and asked if he could hold him as his heart was aching over the months to see him and then she called police and said he tried to run over his son and her with his car which is all lies he’s the one who’s been under her control over the years he’s scared of what she can do and more then anything he loves his son and he respects his baby mother for the fact she looks after him and gave birth to him. Anyways with this second lie he’s now being held on remand based on her false allegations and he’s not allowed bail till the main hearing :/ I’m not sure what I can do to help him get his rights as a father to see his child and for this false allegation to be dropped.
JusticeMatters - 11-Sep-18 @ 5:57 PM
Hibbs - Your Question:
Can some please advise I’m losing the will with the CMS’ I’m constantly telling that the child slash Know a 18 year adult left college in June and is no longer going back to college in September I know that I have to pay until the 31st if August but they keep sending letters saying the case will be reviewed in May 2019’ by then the adult will be 19. They keep saying that as long as the other parent is showing on they system that she’s in receiving child benefit there is nothing they can do until she’s no longer getting child benefit. But how can you have child benefit for a adult no longer in education.

Our Response:
The complication comes if your child hasn't informed the college that he/she is leaving (if for instance, your child is on a two-year course then they are still in the system as being so). Until your child is no longer on the register and child benefit is stopped as a result, there is little you can do as the parent is eligible to receive child maintenance until child benefit officially stops.
SeparatedDads - 10-Sep-18 @ 12:13 PM
Can some please advise I’m losing the will with the CMS’ I’m constantly telling that the child slash Know a 18 year adult left college in June and is no longer going back to college in September I know that I have to pay until the 31st if August but they keep sending letters saying the case will be reviewed in May 2019’ by then the adult will be 19. They keep saying that as long as the other parent is showing on they system that she’s in receiving child benefit there is nothing they can do until she’s no longer getting child benefit. But how can you have child benefit for a adult no longer in education.
Hibbs - 9-Sep-18 @ 8:32 PM
Bogie7- Your Question:
Hi everyone, today I got a letter through my door by my ex partner informing me that she has put my children in another school 3 days before term starts. What this means for me is that the original school was on the same road as my mum and data who have been taking them and collecting them whilst I have to work. I have 50/50 shared care. I was not informed and the school where she has put them is close to where she has moved but now my parents could not make the extra journey 4 miles away. It doesn't sound a lot but my mum and dad are in there 70s and I feel guilty as it is. I applied for an emergency court hearing on this today to try and stop this. Anyone got any advise or been through something similar. It's all designed to stop me having or being able to get contact for more maintenance money

Our Response:
In this instance the Separated Dads Forum may be able to help. We have dads who can advise personally, if they have been through a similar situation previously.
SeparatedDads - 4-Sep-18 @ 10:22 AM
Hi everyone,today I got a letter through my door by my ex partner informing me that she has put my children in another school 3 days before term starts. What this means for me is that the originalschool was on the same road as my mum and data who have been taking them and collecting them whilst I have to work. I have 50/50 shared care. I was not informed and the school where she has put them is close to where she has moved but now my parents could not make the extra journey 4 miles away . It doesn't sound a lot but my mum and dad are in there 70s and I feel guilty as it is . I applied for an emergency court hearing on this today to try and stop this . Anyone got any advise or been through something similar. It's all designed to stop me having or being able to get contact for more maintenance money
Bogie7 - 30-Aug-18 @ 7:26 PM
karzan9 - Your Question:
Hello my wife she report on me to police and I have been released under investigationand have been more than 45 day I didn't see my son I don't know what to doand there is no event one evidence that I did something wrong do I have wait for police decision ? and she come to the uk by spous visa now she apply for asylum thats way she make this drama to get state and benefit I doint know what to do or start from where ? raet now I'm really in bad mood I miss my son so much I have been told the police that my wife she have mental problem and psychology problem and I have not get any answer or any decision

Our Response:
The link here and here , should help answer your question. Unfortunately, there is no quick route to re-gaining access to your children (unless your ex consents to allowing access outside of mediation or court).
SeparatedDads - 5-Jun-18 @ 10:03 AM
PMB139 - Your Question:
I have a 13 years old daughter and 9 and 12 years old sons. I have regular contacts with my two sons for weekends and holidays. But my daughter has cut me off for now reason and made no contact with me for three years. Last year my daughter and I made contact for three months by texting each other and finally agreed to come to see me for a lunch and bowling with boys just before Xmas last year. It was wonderful and we had a great time. Before I took her home, I asked her if she enjoyed it. She gave me a thumb up. Then I took boys with me for Xmas. I texted her next day to say it was great to see her and hope to see her again very soon. no contact or response from her since. I made some effort to get her contact with me. Her number was changed. Very bizarre. I asked one of my son to text her that I said hello and love you. Next thing I received an email from her but it was not from her. it was my ex wrote this email and saying my daughter want no contact and want her surname changed to double barrel surname with my ex and mine. I didn't respond to that email. In past few years, numbers of emails was sent to me few times and actually written by my ex using her email address, I knew it was not my daughter's writing. It was sick. I have no way of contacting my daughter and feel helpless. Is there anyway to resolve this and to prevent my daughter brainwashed by my ex? Any advice would be great and I have limited access because of my deafness so use email or text messaging. I am completely put off by CAFCASS or any court case as they are farce and crap! Some good friends with social service experience mentioned that my ex have a personality disorder or Munchhausen's syndrome and a manipulative and compulsive liar. Many thanks

Our Response:
It is always easy from an outsider's perspective to label people with a personality disorder without any concrete medical verification of this. You have no other recourse but to either request mediation and if she refuses then court is your last option. Unfortunately, in circumstances such as this only a judge can decide on the back of a Cafcass investigation.
SeparatedDads - 5-Jun-18 @ 9:46 AM
Smiley - Your Question:
My fellas ex wont let him see his kids. Does mediation cost as I know he said his not intitled to legal aid. Thanks in advance

Our Response:
You can see more via the link here , which will tell you all you need to know.
SeparatedDads - 4-Jun-18 @ 11:35 AM
I have a 13 years old daughter and 9 and 12 years old sons. I have regular contacts with my two sons for weekends and holidays. But my daughter has cut me off for now reason and made no contact with me for three years. Last year my daughter and I made contact for three months by texting each other and finally agreed to come to see me for a lunch and bowling with boys just before Xmas last year. It was wonderful and we had a great time. Before i took her home, i asked her if she enjoyed it. She gave me a thumb up. Then i took boys with me for Xmas. I texted her next day to say it was great to see her and hope to see her again very soon. no contact or response from her since. I made some effort to get her contact with me. Her number was changed. Very bizarre. I asked one of my son to text her that i said hello and love you. Next thing I received an email from her but it was not from her. it was my ex wrote this email and saying my daughter want no contact and want her surname changed to double barrel surname with my ex and mine. I didn't respond to that email. In past few years, numbers of emails was sent to me few times and actually written by my ex using her email address, I knew it was not my daughter's writing. It was sick. I have no way of contacting my daughter and feel helpless. Is there anyway to resolve this and to prevent my daughter brainwashed by my ex? Any advice would be great and i have limited access because of my deafness so use email or text messaging. I am completely put off by CAFCASS or any court case as they are farce and crap! Some good friends with social service experience mentioned that my ex have a personality disorder or Munchhausen's syndrome and a manipulative and compulsive liar. Many thanks
PMB139 - 4-Jun-18 @ 11:14 AM
hello my wife she report on me to police and i have been released under investigation and have been more than 45 day i didn't see my son i don't know what to do and there is no event one evidence that i did something wrong do I have wait for police decision ? and she come to the uk by spous visanowshe apply for asylum thats way she make this drama toget stateand benefiti doint know what to door start from where ?raet now i'm really in bad mood i miss my son so much i have been told the police that my wife she have mental problem and psychology problemand i have not get any answer or anydecision
karzan9 - 4-Jun-18 @ 3:04 AM
My fellas ex wont let him see his kids. Does mediation cost as i know he said his not intitled to legal aid. Thanks in advance
Smiley - 3-Jun-18 @ 2:13 AM
And after reading about my rights and reliving my past .I have decided to not fight my x legally to see my daughter the pinning has gone the realization and understanding The truth of my situation and the ill feelings I have for my x and others involved Are to strong and will never change .plus i reached out to my daughter got nothing back i take that a sign and will blocking her her step father or step mother can have her .i tried to change from the inside out and be like these young men I work with and how they are single dad going out doing things With there children putting posts up of there children friends with there ex and new boyfriends co parent .in reality i am nothing like that if i am honest i hate my x and would knock her boyfriend clean out if come to my place so guess i am dog and i will what dogs do and keep living my life the way it is because i love pub and football ,golfing again my mates are happy i am back to my old self and out of my depression of the past .your blogs have been educational but back when i went though it they were not around or maybe because i didnt have internet or was to busy in the pub chasing tail and playing pool and watching the fights.but if i ever do get the chance to have another kid i will be educated now so thank you much .
c.laurie - 30-May-18 @ 12:55 AM
As I read these story's of help organizations that help dads .if I am completely honest with you I didn't no they where around .when my x and daughter left years ago I was happy gods truth .i was going out sleeping with different women having fun it was like i was 18 again .and if i am honest i did not give my daughter a second thought back then and for years forgot about been father .i seen a photo of my daughter at 11 last time i seen her she was 5 and for the first time i felt like i needed to change i was getting older the pubs whores where not making me happy any more and started to feel sad and looked down on myself for not getting a legal help for rights years ago and i went into a depression my mates thought i was broken i didnt want to go to the pub or to the football Just went to workand just stayed home like it was bad .my mates turned up said wtf is wrong with you i said i was sad about not getting my daughter years ago and they said wtf its been years and you have not mentioned her or spoke her name in years I said i know but i feel it now for some reason .that was a few years ago now and i am back to my old self now but yeah it was intense feeling of lose and pinning for my daughter it was strange feeling weird it was like i was reliving my past and the emoitions And signs i turn off to years agothat i didnt pay attention toi felt them with full force years later if that makes cents. And i felt rage hurt sadness madness with myself for staying noting fighting.now when i look at these people i look down on them and have just wiped the lot .thanks
c.laurie - 29-May-18 @ 11:19 PM
I wave reacently suffered from addiction and mental illness as a result lost my wife and daughter well had social work turn them against me in court and I’m first to admit I’m no angel in all this but do think I’ve been treated unfairly wither a court order placed that I can’t contact my wife or kid nor them contact me now been evicted from our family home as of the 6th of June everything in the house will go to my wife and kid I feel as I’ve been railroaded by social services and victimised for my religion by one of there workers I’m sure if things where dealt with in a better manner considering my addiction to alcohol and mental health issues this could have been fixed as I was attending services for help
Millwall - 29-May-18 @ 1:54 AM
dont even know where to start my story!well im sperated from my ex-partner becouse of domestic violent.now she never alow me to talk to my daughter anymore.,she said she already got a new father for my child. what she dont know was that im dying slowly becouse i know something great is missing in my life,icant event wish my only daughter happy bday,she never Let me talk to her on phone. as it is now im going sick and i need to see my daughter growing UP. i dream of her everyday and when i woke up I cant find my daughter. please help me.AND pls advice mother not to use children to purnish there ex.they should remember when the going was good.
murphy - 27-May-18 @ 6:03 PM
Doc - Your Question:
Hello all ,looking for advise on fathers rights.what rights do we act have?what support is there out there for us.please help me.

Our Response:
There are no 'specific' rights. Anything you cannot agree with your children's other parent, should be resolved through mediation, or court, please see link here and here.
SeparatedDads - 3-May-18 @ 2:43 PM
Hello all ,looking for advise on fathers rights .what rights do we act have?what support is there out there for us .please help me .
Doc - 2-May-18 @ 9:48 PM
Friend - Your Question:
Hi Folks!I have A good friend who has experienced, this past 3 months, mental and physical turmoil and describes himself as a basket case. He has lost 2 and a half stone and is a bit of an emotional wreck. His wife has walked out on him, taken thousands of pounds worth of valuables, all the house and business paperwork , including bank statements , business assets , family car and his only child (9 year old daughter). He is in his late 50's, hardly able to hold it together at the moment and appears at times as though he is about to burst. It is worrying to witness his bouts of verbal and physical enragement. I'm increasingly worried for his health and well being. Can someone please advise who I can contact that may be able to help my troubled friend.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this and it is understandable that he feels this way, as many individuals do when a family splits apart. Apart from the advice laid out in the article, you can see more via the NHS link here , as losing your family can bring about similar emotions to bereavement. Likewise, all the articles on the Separated Dads pages aim to help, as does the forum which is run by volunteers and can help your friend if he wishes to find out more from both a practical and emotional angle. If he has a good friend such as you who is supporting him through this difficult time, it can be a massive help.
SeparatedDads - 20-Apr-18 @ 10:33 AM
Hi Folks! I have A good friend who has experienced, this past 3 months, mental and physical turmoil and describes himself as a basket case. He has lost 2 and a half stone and is a bit of an emotional wreck. His wife has walked out on him, taken thousands of pounds worth of valuables, all the house and business paperwork , including bank statements , business assets , family car and his only child (9 year old daughter). He is in his late 50's, hardly able to hold it together at the moment and appears at times as though he is about to burst. It is worrying to witness his bouts of verbal and physical enragement. I'm increasingly worried for his health and well being . Can someone please advise who I can contact that may be able to help my troubled friend.
Friend - 19-Apr-18 @ 7:03 PM
@UpsetFather - the main thing you have to watch out for is not slagging off your ex or badmouthing how your ex brings your kid up or her parenting skills. The court is not interested in mud-slinging towards ex's, they are interested in your child's welfare only. Unless you can prove any of the accusations you are making, I wouldn't bother. Concentrate on speaking about your son and ignore any temptation to bad-mouth your ex. Do the anger management course and anything the court requests you to do. Most standard access is every other weekend and possibly one night in the week. Remember, this is all about your son, so make sure it stays that way. Agree with everything and challenge nothing. If you work with the court the court will try and work with you. Best of luck.
AidenB - 29-Mar-18 @ 1:58 PM
Can someone please help me. I separated from my child's mother fully in June last year and since then she's made contact with my son beyond difficult, I tried mediation but she did not turn up so I decided to take her to court. There have been no domestic violence in any way. At the moment I see my son ONCE a week I pick him up on Friday and drop him off on Saturday at a time and place she's demanded with no compromise I don't even get 24 hours in a week with my child who I seen being brought into this world and spent 99% of the days he's been here with him until we split. After a few adjournments because of allegations she made which meant I've got to do an anger management course on her say so I've built a relationship with our social worker to try and come to a middle ground of how much time I get to spend with my son and she's not budging I fear the courts won't serve justice and mean while my son gets passed around her friends and family before me. I am due in court again in may this year to hopefully at least get full weekends with my son which I still think isn't enough especially when the courts are now talking about alternative weekends. I don't really think I am explaining this as well as I should so for now I will leave it here and see if I can get some professional advice from this organisation, just to let you know there's a bucket full of incidents regarding my son in her care this includes cuts, bruises, burns, senial baby sitters, suicidal ex partners looking after my son and a mother who also drink drives. I decided to represent myself as I thought it would be a clear case of equal parenting how wrong I was please can I have advice on what I should do to make sure my son has the best outcome in this entire mess please. Thank you
UpsetFather - 29-Mar-18 @ 12:05 AM
Web - Your Question:
Hi, separated from my long term partner of 14 years 4 weeks ago now and she has stopped me seeing my two children through the week to just 1 day a weekend!This making it hard to even grab this opportunity also inturn damaging and making my relationship with my children weaker!What are the steps I need to get a fair shared parental responsibility please? as this is her last go at controlling our lives

Our Response:
Your only recourse would be to suggest mediation, please see link here and if your ex refuses, or the mediation process fails, then apply to court. Please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 27-Feb-18 @ 1:49 PM
Hi, separated from my long term partner of 14 years 4 weeks ago now and she has stopped me seeing my two children through the week to just 1 day a weekend! This making it hard to even grab this opportunity also inturn damaging and making my relationship with my children weaker! What are the steps I need to get a fair shared parental responsibility please? as this is her last go at controlling our lives
Web - 26-Feb-18 @ 9:52 AM
@George - only if the situation changes can the matter be referred back to court. So if she actually becomes homeless then you would be able to make a new application.
Danthe - 15-Jan-18 @ 2:23 PM
Hi, my ex wife and I have a final CAO for shared residence with the children living with her 5 nights fortnightly. When the children are with her, the youngest one doesn't attend a nursery, and the eldest is late for school on the most days. Ex has a room in a shared accommodation. Her current job is temporary and will end in 2 months. Due to her unwillingness/inability to find another job, she will end up being homeless. Is it possible to vary current CAO for the children to live with me?
George - 13-Jan-18 @ 1:30 PM
Welsh1 - Your Question:
Hi,All looking for some advice if anyone can provide.I need help I’ve cuurrently got my two children as me and my partner split recently when I asked her not to come back home after yet another telephone call screaming at me.One is registered disabled.The main reason I asked for my partner not to return is I wish to protect my children from there big brothers (another dad not meant in a bad way).There is so much involved that I can’t go into openly on here.However I’ve discovered today my partner has went via homeless and is speaker no to social workers and I’m scared I lose my kids.I have said full and equal visitation/custody but I want to be there legal guardianship so when I need to say enough is enough and remove them from a situation I can.I don’t mean remove forever but an individual situation that occurs then return later (sorry if that didn’t make sense)

Our Response:
If you fear for the safety of your children, then you would have to apply for a child arrangement order through the courts, please see link here. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. Until then, if you both have parental responsibility of the children, then you both have equal rights to keep the children in your care. Another way around the situation which should be considered before you take the matter to court, is to try to come to an arrangement through mediation, please see link here . However, any agreement made through mediation is not legally binding (unlike a court order). Therefore, you may wish to seek some professional legal advice in order to explore your options further.
SeparatedDads - 5-Jan-18 @ 10:40 AM
Hi, All looking for some advice if anyone can provide. I need help I’ve cuurrently got my two children as me and my partner split recently when I asked her not to come back home after yet another telephone call screaming at me. One is registered disabled. The main reason I asked for my partner not to return is I wish to protect my children from there big brothers (another dad not meant in a bad way). There is so much involved that I can’t go into openly on here. However I’ve discovered today my partner has went via homeless and is speaker no to social workers and I’m scared I lose my kids. I have said full and equal visitation/custody but I want to be there legal guardianship so when I need to say enough is enough and remove them from a situation I can. I don’t mean remove forever but an individual situation that occurs then return later (sorry if that didn’t make sense)
Welsh1 - 4-Jan-18 @ 12:07 AM
Hi I am in need of some guidance our son (21) his now ex girlfriend is having our grandchild in February 2018 . She and her family have told us that we will never see the baby and that our son will never be the dad to the child . Our son has taken this news very bad to the point of taking an overdose toend his life as he so so wants them both in his life . He is now getting help Vi the hospital for himself but as this year comes to an end and February will be here soon and the girlfriend says she will not put dads name on birth certificate and as I have read on many posts if he isn’t named he has no rights please if anyone has any advice will be very grateful Chris
Chrissy - 27-Dec-17 @ 8:36 AM
I am asking on behalf of my partner. Him and his ex have a 6yr old daughter recently herex’s boyfriend head butted his DD Mum and has restrained his DD. He was arrested but we found out today that she is planning on him moving back in, 6 yo told her Mum that it’s fine but has told us different and will be happy to live with us. Her mum is threatening to pick her up tomoro with the police. We want her to live with us to make sure she is safe and not seeing the violence (he’s been arrested numerous times... we found out today) where do we stand her Mum and my partner never married but he’s on the birth certificate. We are very worried about her :-( thanks
AJ - 26-Dec-17 @ 7:38 PM
joe - Your Question:
I have been told my a person I met that if I go onto the fathers for justice website I can ind a link where f4j will send me out a application form and relevant paperwork which I can fill in and propose it to the family court in order to see my daughter. I have been on the website and cannot see anything on this. I haven't seen my daughter for nearly a year now and my parents and myself really miss her. She is 18 months old and the judge put a restraining order out on myself and my family not to get in contact with my daughter or her mother last year when a certain situation arised and I had to go to court. I want to start with supervised visits and so on as I know it takes time but I feel lost and dont where to start will kindly appreciate any help or advice you could give me. Thankyou for your time and patients

Our Response:
You can download the C100 contact form to apply to court via the link here, if the restraining order has expired.
SeparatedDads - 14-Dec-17 @ 11:47 AM
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