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What Organisations Help With Rights for Dads?

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 12 Jul 2020 | comments*Discuss
 
Fathers Men Parents Fathers4justice

All too often, separated and divorced fathers feel they’re alone. Women have support groups of all kinds, but the men can seem left out in the cold. If they feel a sense of injustice in the way the courts have treated them, over access or other issues, they might feel quite isolated.

But there are a number of different groups that work on behalf of men. In most instances they’ve been formed by men themselves from a sense of outrage. Some – for better or worse – have received a fair amount of media coverage, but most operate largely under the radar of publicity.

They do share a lot of common goals, especially fighting for the rights of fathers, which some of them believe have been trampled by the rights of mothers, and that fathers often never receive a fair deal in court.

Fathers4Justice

Probably the best-known group is Fathers4Justice, which was formed in 2003 by Matt O’Connor after a bad divorce meant he had no regular access to his children. Their tactics, such as pelting the Prime Minister with condoms in Parliament, or the alleged kidnap plot against the PM’s son, have given them a great deal of publicity, most of it very unfavourable to the cause of fathers. But there’s no doubt that, as a pressure group, they’ve highlighted the plight of a number of fathers. In 2005, a spin-off group, Real Fathers for Justice, emerged.

Other Organisations

Families Need Fathers is, as the name implies, aimed primarily at fathers, but extends its services to mothers, grandparents and others, too. Its aim is to keep all the parties involved with their children. They particularly work with fathers undergoing separation and worried about access, helping them reach agreements to remain close to their children, and have excellent resources, including branches across the country, workshops, and a great deal more. It’s far more low-key than Fathers4Justice, and has been around a few decades now.

Also worth noting is the Fatherhood Institute, although this isn’t an advocate for separated fathers in the same ways as the others. Founded in 1999 (reportedly with the support of the government), it does support co-operative parenting, and has a number of publications for fathers, with the intent of keeping fathers as strong role models.

The Equal Parenting Council works for both parents being involved with their children after separation or divorce, and its long-term goal is to change the family justice system. It can help parents – not just men - with Cafcass and negotiate the Family Court System.

BabyFather is aimed specifically at fathers in the black community, working with the charity Barnado’s. Founded in 2002, it runs a number of programmes, and has begun a couple of training and consultancy services to help absent fathers become more involved with their children, and also focuses on the particular problems of black families.

For those living in the Nottingham area, Men United Fathers Network works for fathers in all situations, not simply those seeking greater access to their children, but as a parenting organisation. Other areas, such as Hull, also have groups for fathers.

Finally, there’s Parentline Plus. As the name says, it’s not solely for fathers, but it can help, with a 24-hour helpline that’s confidential. They also have phone support groups, and message boards on their website that can be useful to fathers.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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Hi I know there is plenty of fathers in the same situation as me and I just need help I haven’t seen or heard of my children since December 23rd and I’ve been to court around three times and the mother to my children has made a non molestation order against me on the first court I had back in March and now I’m back in court after the 3rd time it’s become a fact finding hearing and I literally can’t afford this one as I’ve been twice this month I was wondering if there was any help towards court fees or some sort of funding I could apply for or get help with Thanks for reading my comment
Chris - 12-Jul-20 @ 11:29 AM
I was abused very badly by my ex partner who has made false allegations and ran off with my baby son who she also abused on occasion. He is 4 months old. My ex is African and illegal in the UK. I was abused mentally and physically finally asking her to leave my home as she was threatening my relationship with my 10 year old daughter. She has now left my home and then went to Women's Aid and told lies in order to get legal status in the UK and cover up her abuse. She continues to harass me and abuse me from her place with the Women's Aid and is continually trying to get my daughter taken away from me by spreading lies. Everything she did to me she has now said that I was doing it to her. I have tried to ask for help from the Social Services who refused to open a case. My concerns and pleas for help have been ignored. I am at the point of a breakdown. I do not sleep or eat properly and am getting very sick.
Gio - 23-Jun-20 @ 7:59 AM
Bit of a strange one but desperate for help and can’t seem to find many examples of my situation!! A few years ago I found out I had a daughter from a previous relationship, she had told me at the time the pregnancy was mine, but later said it was not mine and In fact someone else’s (his name Is on the birth certificate not mine). Anyway three years later I go back talking to the girl and she says of course the baby is mine!? I get a DNA test which Confirmed. This is now three years ago almost and I’m still not allowed to be in my daughters life (she’s five now) her reason is that I’ve never bothered (She knew the baby was mine but never told me), but she never allowed me to have any access. Since we found out for sure. I have no rights and Now she wants her current boyfriend to adopt my daughter. Please please help
J - 17-Jun-20 @ 11:54 AM
Hi all, so I have been trying to change a court order so that my children can spend time with me and my partner her 2 children and our 18 month old baby. I have been trying to do this for 2 years and decided to go down the court route represented by a waste of space solicitor who asked me to provide diaries and report anything that occurred non of this has been used to fight my case in court! There was a hearing due in the next couple of weeks via phone but I have made the decision to stop all proceedings in this case. I had a feeling things were going to go our way but Mum set a trap for me on sons birthday to which I walked straight into played right into her hands I now have been issued with a warning from police to not be abusive nor aggressive or use threatening behaviour towards her! I will never win I just hope my children do come and find me when they get older.
Ragnaa - 10-Jun-20 @ 1:13 PM
@aneesa.then though social media I have ask for a (DNA test because I do have serous doubts about been the bio father with good reason )and the response was they don’t care if I am or not the bio father they won’t nothing to do with me .any one with any common sense can put to and to together and work out That I think my uncle is the bio father even my cousin krystal ask if her father was bree’s bio father because he is (so overly protective of this teenager) .stuff it I will never find out the complete truth of this matter .and done with it because it’s beneath me in reality.i am happy and at peace now that’s all that matters to me .
C.laurie - 7-Jun-20 @ 1:14 AM
@aneese.i am completely in the same situation but( feel much better) for trying to see my daughter I tried throw (social media) but she wants nothing to do with me .but now have come to terms with it and (respect my daughter decision I wished her all the best in life and left it at that) .now I have moved on for good and only worry about my future and the people I care about and care about me .sometimes In life mate you just got to walk away even if it hurts .but (believe me )when I say this it does make you so much stronger (emotionally and mentally )in the long run .(god bless) .i hope you find the peace I have and can once again smile and be happy in your life .
C.laurie - 7-Jun-20 @ 12:28 AM
@aneese.yes technically it’s to late he’s son is now a legal adult and can legally make up he’s own mind on who he wants to see and have in he’s life .but there is social media maybe he could send a friend request he’s son might be interested in meeting him now he is adult .i wouldn’t force it just take it slowly because you must remember he son is a adult and it’s been a very long time of no contact.and depends how the son feels now about the idea the ball is in the son court .but still worth dropping a friend request to let he’s son know hey I am hear if you want to meet over beer at a local .
C .laurie - 6-Jun-20 @ 9:06 PM
Hi, just wanted to ask on behalf of my Uncle who hasn't seen his son since he was 5. He is now 19. is there anything that can be done legally or is it too late now as he's an adult?
aneesa - 6-Jun-20 @ 7:48 PM
@lovingfather5 I must admit social services can do what the hell they want especially when it concerns the mother they always take her side no matter what. I have lost faith in the system due to going thru court so ail services and cafcass to try and get a court order changed spent thousands of pounds on solicitors to still be in the same situation almost 4 years down the line. I have had to make an impossible decision and hope that in the future my children will realise and come and see me.
Ragnaa - 13-May-20 @ 9:00 PM
I am writing because Social services have taken my kids away from me discretely my back. On the 15th May 2017 i noticed my wife and children never came back from school, after making few phone calls i discovered they had been taken away from me and social services was behind this disgusting and unforgiving act. I had no knowledge that behind my back the social services will take my wife and children away from me as there was no reason for them to do this. I am not violent or abusive, i am hard working and a loving father. It is true my wife demanded alot of money from me however i gave her whatever i earned from my job. I have been waiting every day that they will come back as there was no reason for them to be taken away from me. It is coming up to 3 years, i had severe depression and was on the verge of suicide but my friends and neighbours supported me through my mental breakdown. All my neighbours are my witness to my loving and good nature and honest personality. My wife and i had ups and downs as she always use to argue and ask me for money. When i gave her money she was sending it to her father and brother. Most couples have arguments and issues but i worked hard to provide for my beautiful kids as i love them very much. I wasn't aware that secretly behind my back my wife was working with social services to make a plan to be re-housed up North. What was my crime? If you asked my children they will tell you how much they love their dad as i always provided for them took them out to parks and outings and always gave them love and devotion. There is no report against me and i have never been in trouble with the law. i feel as they have been kidnapped by my wife and social services helped her as they believed her lies. To this date nobody has told me anything, im confused and surprised as to which basis they have been taken away as to my knowledge we was living fine apart from arguments now and then. I am planning go to the press and put in the newspapers as what this service has done is unforgivable. I still look outside the window hoping my children will come and surprise me. Please can you guide me or advise me on what else i can do. I look forward to your reply:(
lovingfather5 - 13-May-20 @ 1:07 AM
@lynn and @chris sounds similar kind of to what I'm going thru. I've been to court three times now and I've done it both represented an unrepresented by a solicitor and it's seriously hard to win over them even if the children are at risk with mother in my eyes they don't really care until its too late!!
Ragnaa - 11-May-20 @ 12:13 PM
Hi, me and my children's mum split up 4 years ago, 1 year later I met my now partner who has 2 children and we have a 18 month old together, everything was great my children would come and stay at the weekend and thru school holidays then one day all contact was stopped everything apparently "things happened" when the children were at our house. So after mum and partner went on holiday and left my children with their estranged uncle I decided to go and get my children which led to the police being called and me being accused of kipnap!! I put in a emergency order to which I could have residency of them-of course mum opposed all this on her return to which started a nightmare of a court case. There were accusations thrown around malicious reports cafcass, social services and still no way of seeing my children until the final hearing where funds were very tight and led me to go to the hearing completely unrepresented which mum and solicitor and judge saw and made my time in there hell not only did the judge tear strips off me mum and solicitor come up with a order to which not knowing what I was signing as I just wanted to see my children I had had enough. The order stated that I would not allow contact with my partner or her children something I thought I could change within a matter of months however this was far from the case. I had my children every weekend and also some holidays at my families house obviously away from my partner and children. Xmas 2018 my family member sadly passed away which meant the housee and my children stayed in would be sold to which I explained to mum the situation and asked of would consider contact to start again at my house with my partner to od course disagreed. In an already upsetting time I had to decide how contact would continue which eventually led me to rent a separate property so that I could still see my children this caused a tremendous amount of stress upset for myself my partner and all 5 children. Our daughter was very poorly shortly after her birth to whxi she spent many nights in hospital some of these were weekends and when I had my children and mum wasn't interested and called it "our drama" qmd not to take my children home to her so I could go to hospital to support my daughter and partner! In August 201o there was a serious incident at my children's house in whichum was taken to hospital and the children were taken to her partners house who she had a non molestation order on!! I was told that mum had told the hospital that he had control over everything should anything go wrong while in hospital. Which meant I could see the children but return them to him I reluctantly agreed to this as previously the police were involved and I didn't want the children going thru anymore than they already had. I decided now was the time to get this order changed. When mum came out of hospital contact was again stopped as I had breached the order to which I gave up my house and got a new 3 bedroom house with m
Ragnaa - 11-May-20 @ 9:35 AM
Hi, my boyfriends daughter is rarely accessible & the grandmother has isolated her & I think she has a likely case of Munchausen's. Has anyone had this kind of situation before?
Clairey - 7-May-20 @ 6:19 PM
@tarot,this is from the bottom off my heart I really would love to have my surname removed legally from the child. I don’t care about her education or if she was raped or if she every needs surgery or if she ever diedor if she is living with her boyfriend or if she a lesbian I don’t care or won’t to know I want no responsibility off the child .if she was ever was killed in a car crash I don’t want to know about it .it is up to the mother and her partner to take care off the funeral .i surrendered all my rights way back in 08 and it was the best decision off my life .and if people want to hate on me over that they can right a letter to someone who cares .the only trouble they will get is they ever turned up at my house so I hope they don’t because I would slam the door in her face and tell her F off .i am not your father and I want nothing to do with you .
Chris - 10-Mar-20 @ 12:01 AM
Hi there I'm tarot um I rilly don't no wear to start or wear to /ho to tern to i um I have 2 children my ex partner long story etc my ex purtner has stopped me repeatedly from seeing my children it's beene 18 month since I last saw and even spoken to them my ex has had a saver strokechild services have been involved since we first split up i repeatedly told children services about my concerns about my ex purtner alcohol problems and drug abuse and her drink driving with my children in the car but children service repeatedly told me that they have no concerns about my concerns but not even 24 hours she gets poled over by the police she got cort drink driving with both my children in the car with no saetbelts on so I phoned children service up to find out what going on but thay again told me that there's no concerns about this my ex partner has naw had a saver stroke and has been in hospital for about 2 month my children are with her new partner that left his own child and family to be with mine only just found out that they was having a relationship with one another wilst I was at work.Children service are not letting me see them or letting me have my children back i have been fighting for my children since . As there mother is in hospital with no moter skills to even feed her self . i have parental responsiblety and perunts rights to my children but children service are dinying me my fathers righys and dinying my children from me I'm sorry I'm so desperate I'm literally crying trying to right this i rilly don't know what the hell to do eny more im so desperate I don't know what to do not more apart from well it's come to that point were I'm not sure if I can live like this no more please help me please
Tarot - 6-Mar-20 @ 2:49 AM
Please can someone help my son has been fighting a custody battle for a long time, his daughter lived with him for 4 months. They have been going to court and up to recently social service backed him and in fact it was them that instructed him to keep his daughter. The court's have now allowed daughter to start staying at her mother's for half the time. He was due to pick her up from school today but social service told him not to because his daughter has said he has punched on her leg apparently this happened 2 weeks ago. I can assure this did not happen. She's has been very happy and stable while living with him. I can't tell you how many times he has been in court all this without a solicitor.
Suki - 26-Feb-20 @ 8:11 PM
My daughters partner has had a court order giving him full parental rights to his son. For the past 5 yrs.The birth mother has now died. But He is not on the childs birth certificate, does this mean that the mothers next of kin, who have also been absent from his life, could have any say in his future? And how does he go about getting his name on the B Certificate.
Tuddy - 29-Jan-20 @ 5:59 PM
@lyn.i can relate to your story,I myself have sent threatening messages to child mother and been on (multiple orders) .i do not contact her anymore and never will again and( I hope )none off (my family )do because I really don’t want to get in trouble again and face court again gods truth )my dilemma now is my daughter is growen up teenager now and I think it’s (not worth )going to court for visitation now .because the last time I seen her she was 5 and now she is (15 ).so yeah I don’t think I will ever see her againto be honest with the way things are between her mother and myself .but( goodluck )to all the other dads out there my advice is don’t fight your ex get a solicitor ASAP if you want rights to your child.
Chris - 10-Nov-19 @ 6:15 PM
My son got a girl pregnant when he was 21 she 19. He now 22 and she 20. They were not together as boyfriend and girlfriend and she told him she couldn't have children. Next thing she pregnant. When baby arrived he gave it a go as boyfriend and girlfriend. Things were ok but he said he did not feel anything for her, me and his told told him to end it as he can't string her along. He ended it with her and few months down line he got involved with another girl nothing serious at first. That's when the baby mummy turned. Her and her mum started picking on my son. Anything he done for his daughter was not good enough.He was getting put down all time over things he brought for his daughter, with them saying its not suitable. Her mum is very controlling and has always criticised my son, she seems to think she got more rights of my sons daughter and would always interfere. It all escalated and my son lost it. He screamed abuse at baby mummy and he regretted this as he feels they pushed him to it. Next thing court order was served on him to stay away from her. He not allowed to contact her not even family members are. The only way he can now see his daughter is to go court which will cost a fortune.Contents of the order was totally exaggerated. Although he did scream abuse to her, he was not controlling. She said he didn't like her talkingto boys this is all lies, he didn't want to be with her so really didn't care about other boys. He once got a picture of her sent to him by another boy, she was naked in his bed, she was the manipulative one and yet she told courts my son was. And now he unable to see his daughter because she did not like it he moved on. I'm actually disgusted as a woman that this is happening all time. These girls seem to think there children are weapons and it should not be allowed. Its almost blackmail that if a father steps out of line he looses his children.Where should this be allowed to happen.
Lyn - 10-Nov-19 @ 7:40 AM
Hi my son has a baby with his now ex-girlfriend .The baby has lived with us since birth and her mum left her here when she left.She has temporary accommodation which she’s had since before giving birth ,but never moved into as was here.When she moved out she didn’t hardly visit ,despite the fact she’s getting child benefit.My sonhad topay her busfare to get her to come visit her baby.My son and myself have cared for the child since birth.Niw the mum keeps messing around changing days /dates to have her baby then when she does she keeps saying she’s not bringing her back .She wants to continue the relationship with my son ,but he doesn’t he just wants to look after and continue to care for his child.She has her child for 3nights recently and 2of the nights she went out patting at events and left her with her dad.Why take her those nights if she can’t be bothered to spend the time with her.He went to solicitors but not able to get legal aid .So just trying to get some advice please .He wants mum to see the baby and spend time with her Obviously ,but she keeps threatening to keep her and this has been her hime since birth.
Vera - 12-Aug-19 @ 10:29 AM
I was a victim of DV for 11 years. I stayed to protect the children. Female partner very narcissistic and has had me arrested, charged, taken to Court and has alienated me from my two girls aged 9 & 10 .. I have NEVER been a threat, yet she says time & again she lives in fear, she has lied in court at every opportunity and I can prove this, yet nobody listens to me. My girls are PETRIFIED of their mother and yet she has full custody and I have none, the judge saw fit to take away my visitationrights when I was so upset in court, slammed my papers on the desk & walked out as I couldnt listen to her lies , through the courts she has manipulated her way to taking away my rights as a father ... She has stopped almost all of my visits ( my girls were so happy and loved seeing me .. .. but gave been manipulated and bribed into saying things about myself and my new partner that simply arnt true ) and court ordered pick ups by taking my girls out of school and has even snatched one daughter aggressively from my elderly mother in front of School teachers, headmistress & governors... who have completely changed there attitude towards me (my ex had me known as a wife beater ) and are now very supportive.The girls have guardians and social workers who see my utter frustration as aggression ... my ex comes over as wanting to build bridges and helpful and I'm seen as fixated and angry, of which I am, but only to get my children safe ..I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN ANY TROUBLE and have plenty of evidence to show re domestic abuse and mental cruelty towards myself and the children yet I am still seen as the perpetrator. What can I do ? The final court date has been postponed because she didnt attend a psych assessment.... I did .... please please help .. people are being so judgemental and plain dismissive..... I've been seen just once with the girls with social workers while the ex is seen continually.
Astro - 19-Jul-19 @ 10:22 PM
My financial divorce settlement final hearing concluded on Thursday. My wife was awarded 90% of our shared equity. Our marriage was short, just three years. My wife wanted the divorce and has relentlessly driven me through court. We earn a similar amount of money. We have one child a together he is four. The judge cited my conduct as the primary reason why he awarded my wife 90% of our shared equity. His delineations were all based on conjecture. No evidence was presented regarding my conduct to substantiate the judges injunction I intend to appeal this decision. Im hoping for some advice.
Proton - 6-Jul-19 @ 12:02 PM
Hi I moved to a refuge as the situation in the house was unbearable so many swearing and breaking things. I had called the police once because he hit me. Só social services had been called. I could have this opportunity to be in a refuge and start life again. But they don’t allow my girls to see the father. Now I am so worried. First I know he won’t hurt me or hurt the girls (he never did he is an amazing dad) My girls are crying for him and I am sure he is also. Does someone know what can I do to help him see them? I really want them to see each other. I definitely don’t want to go back to him. I do want to start fresh but I want them to see him. It is so awkward because they keep saying he might use the girls to control me. I know he wouldn’t. I am scared to death now. Can they remove this girls from me if I bring the girls to see him? Can I bring them to see him? One charity told me it is not illegal if I do but they don’t recommend. I don’t what they mean by this. They don’t recommend for safety but it is up to me to judge my family life? Or they can intervene and remove my girls from me also? Please fathers help me to help their dad. He is an amazing dad - breaks my heart to see the girls suffering and breaks my heart to know he is devastes. Who would not be in desespero with their children?
Lia - 28-Jun-19 @ 9:07 PM
My ex want let me see my child but she wants to take him abroad this thersday but do she need my promotion to take him i dont rely want to stop him going but only to day i found out she is taking him but i really wont to see my littal boy and i dont know what is the best thing to do if he goes he hi mam cant say noting to him to posan him or do i block her from taking him and my son is only 4 but he has 2 older brothers and i dont want them to loos out with there brother please please help i really dont know what to do
Bulldog - 28-Apr-19 @ 5:57 PM
@matty yeah it is long and expensive route to take makes it even harder if you have [orders on you] .[from sending silly child like messages ].but the mother off my child is a mother .and i am [strong and happy ]and her daughter is[ grown up now with her own life] .i changed my number to [start a fresh] .i will let her mother and her daughter get on with it .
chris - 21-Apr-19 @ 4:18 AM
Reply to the do I have to have to have permission to apply to go for a court order to get a c100 is no. as long asyour ex partner refuses to go for the mediation process then the next option is c100 long and expensive process .good look
Matty - 16-Apr-19 @ 9:51 PM
Hi, I am after some advice regarding consent orders. I have a consent order in place dating back to 2013 whereby I pay 'x' amount and have my 2 boys 2 nights a week, those days were flexible between us as I different worked shifts. Since 2014 my boys have stayed with me 3-4 days a week but I kept the payments going and was still paying for all sorts of other things on top as we do. I was happy to do this for the sake of the boys and an easy life as ultimately I was getting what I wanted having my boys so much. Last year I felt the money I was giving was not being spent as it should and the school contacted me numerous times regarding their uniform but I refused to buy extra uniform when I am paying my ex and other things on top so I drew the line and after a blow up via texts where she told me to 'shove my money up my arse'.... so I did. I opened a separate account titled CSA and put the same money in this account every month. I bought loads of clothes including uniform and kept all receipts. This went on for 4-5 months until she recently went to the CSA and so I have now started her payments again. (no big deal, happy to pay just don't want it going her new lips!!). But she also trying to enforce the 2 days only , even though over the years it has been anything but 2 days! I now want to go to court to have the consent order ended and go for joint custody as I have had shared custody almost from the off. I am filling in the C100 form, is this the right form? Do I need permission to go to court? Do I have to try mediation (MIAM) first? My circumstances have now changed, I live closer to their school, I work Mon-Friday, days only I am having an extension done, starting this month so they will their own bedrooms (which they don't at their mothers), I have regular contact with their school, I haven't missed parent evenings, school plays, sports days etc....I have been a massive regular part of their life from day 1 and so I am very confident of winning in court but any advice regarding how to go about it would be most appreciated.Thanks
Flog - 16-Apr-19 @ 12:37 PM
Please tell me 1 are company and personal pension contributions deducted from gross earnings for CM payments and 2 can I deduct weekend stopovers from my weekly CM payment and 3 can I deduct 50% of my daughters travel costs as my my former wife refuses to contribute Thank you
Tony - 3-Apr-19 @ 9:38 AM
I have my son 106 days on a rota basis plus extra in the school holidays over the year. This has been an ongoing agreement between us for many years, but has never been to court. I have always paid maintenance of £250 per month to my ex via direct payment. In addition I pay extra school activities and buy school uniform Recently my ex has asked for a recalculation via CMS, she has lied telling them I only have my son 89 days per year. This has resulted in an increase in my payments based on a lie. CMS chose to take her word for this and are refusing to believe me. I have no proof what can I do? I believe this to be fraud and obtaining money be deception. Can you advise please
Sammy - 27-Mar-19 @ 12:00 AM
Hi, I need some advice my son recently became a one parent family (opf). In the past the parent paying maintenance could pay this money directly to the children for the children. The children paid tax on this when they reached the tax exemption level. I don’t know what the current rate is....£11000/14000....it’s somewhere around this and you personally would know this if you are in paid employment. This I assume you are. Can you tell me from your legal advisors what the exact wording is. The Government are not aware of this nor do they want to be aware, so seeking information from Them is not an option. Currently the children of all opf who get a maintenance payment are losing a lot as the parent in receipt of maintenance must add this to their income and this money is in effect being taxed twice. Once at source and then when it is added to the receivers income it will be taxed again. I appreciate any help you can give me today. Thanks.
Fairtrade - 5-Mar-19 @ 3:04 PM
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