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Dealing With Your Ex Partner and Child Moving Away

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 20 Jun 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Separated Dads Ex-partner Child Moving

We all know that lives change. In a society that’s become more and more mobile, moving homes, moving cities and even countries, has become fairly commonplace. But if your kids live with your former partner and she has to move away, how do you deal with that?

The move could be work related, or perhaps because her new partner has a job somewhere else, at the other end of the country. What are the ramifications?

Within The UK

An awful lot is going to depend on the type of relationship you have with your ex. If it’s good, then when she moves you’ll be able to re-negotiate contact with your children. It might be that you don’t see them as often, but when you do it’s for a longer period.

If they’ve been spending a few nights a week with you, it can be especially bad, since you won’t have their presence regularly, which you’re used to. But your ex isn’t legally obliged to live near you.

If the relationship is bad, you might need to apply for a change in your Contact Order. This can be a gruelling procedure, not to mention expensive, since you’ll want to have a solicitor to represent you, although you may be able to come to an Agreement Through Mediation. You will still be expected to Pay Child Support as before.

Emotional Impact

Perhaps the biggest factor to deal with is the emotional impact. You should arrange plenty of phone contact with your children, daily if at all possible, so they still feel that you’re involved in their lives (and so you feel that way, too) and try to see them as often as possible. If you can arrange a trip to see them once a month, that’s good, but not economically viable for many people.

School holidays would be the best time to see them, when you might be able to have them for a week – or even several weeks in the summer, if you can negotiate this. Of course, wonderful as it sounds, the practicalities can be real obstacles; after all, you still have to work, and there’s only so much holiday time you can take each year. You need to try to find a balance that works for you.

Going Abroad

But what happens if your ex wants to Move Abroad with your kids? She might be a foreign national, for example, and want to move home, or she might have married someone from another country and be moving. What can you do in the situation where your kids are taken even farther away from you?

Essentially, you have two choices. You can either accept the fact and come to some agreement about when the children can spend time with you or you can fight the move in the courts. If you follow the first route and come to an agreement, have it in writing and legally validated. It should include the number of visits per year and their length. Also, make sure to include who is responsible for airfares, which can avoid tumultuous arguments later. If you’re paying child support, you should try to have a provision saying you don’t have to pay for the period the kids are living with you.

Should you choose to fight the move in court, you will be battling for custody of your kids. This is only going to work if you have parental responsibility for the children (that is, if you’re named as the father on the birth certificate or have a parental responsibility agreement). If not, it’s not worth the effort, because you won’t win.

Rather than the distress this will cause you, what you’ll need to show is how it will adversely affect the kids. If the proposed move is to a non English-speaking country, for example, and your children are in school and have grown up speaking English, you’ll want to cite that – especially if they are in their early teens. You’ll need to develop a valid argument, preferably several, and be well represented in court.

If your ex does move the kids overseas, you’ll feel the loss even more than if they’re just elsewhere in the UK. Use as many different methods of contact as you can to keep in touch with them, daily if possible. It’s not an ideal substitute, but it really is better than nothing at all.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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I was with my partner for years I pretty much grow up with her I was only 20 when I meet her and she left when I was 28 .it wasn’t the best relationship had (many issues )we should have addressed but we stayed to the point where we hated each other both did our own thing in the last couple of years pretty much flat mates that fought .she went away to her family but it was a cover for her in front of her family.she had meet a guy online who lived up north she didn’t think that I new but I did and new about a lot of other things to just didn’t care to express it in the end I was done I happy for her to be gone I was sick of fighting with her and the games we played to hurt each other .then I just moved on to be honest I never went court for my daughter before you know it the years roll bye and I honestly forgot about my daughter .i had in it the back of my mind that it is the right thing for me to go to court but I was completely over my x and we just fight and it would have been drama and travel so I made i choice back then and I am sticking to it .had I bit of a melt down over my choice years later and still had bad feelings for my x .and tried to (forgive but can’t) she is still difficult and infuriating to me where it is best to keep our distance she can have our( daughter) it’s best for everyone even the children with so many years gone bye there step father is there father in reality .so that’s it in a nut shell I have walked away for good and forever .
Samantha - 20-Jun-18 @ 9:31 PM
Hi, My long time partner and I separated 5 years ago. She moved up to Northumberland from London. I travelled back and forth and I ended up suffering exhaustion. She moved down 3 years ago because she said "she didn't get the support" up there. Since then I have them half of the week and am fully active in our two sons' lives. I push them with the school work and organise playdates with their friends etc etc. I got married last year and now have a 9 week old baby boy with my new wife, who my sons adore. My ex has now decided she wants to move back to Northumberland. She is depressed and wants to be near her family which I get, but I feel its going to have a huge negative impact on our boys because I'm such a big part of their lives. They're only 7 and 9. I won't be able to travel up more than once a month, it takes such a long time to get up there, plus its so draining when I work so hard to pay the bills etc. Do I have any rights hear? Can she move them without my consent, I have PR? She is putting her own happiness before the kids and wants to rip them away from the great school, all their friends, their father and baby brother. Is their anything I can do?
Chris - 20-Jun-18 @ 11:39 AM
Maggie - Your Question:
Hi my daughter and her boyfriend moved from Wales to England when she waa 5 months pregnant. When she had the baby the boyfeiend left her after 1 week then 2 weeks after this left to go back to Wales. He is on the birth certificate can he try and take the baby to Wales to stay dhort ir long term if and when he wants? Baby is only a few weeks. If he wad the one that left and moved country and went back home what rights does he have to the baby if there isnt regular contact? Worried gran.

Our Response:
You can see more via the link here. Please also see the gov.uk link here, which will tell you what your daughter's options are if her and the child's father cannot resolve their issues.
SeparatedDads - 12-Jun-18 @ 3:17 PM
James - Your Question:
Hi, my wife and I have been separated for 12 months, no divorce as yet, we currently both live in the same city and have 50/50 agreed custody of our son. We have nothing formal in place as yet, we have agreed both financial payment and when each of us have our son between ourselves. My ex is in a new relationship as am I, my concern is that her new partner lives in another city and she will move in with her new partner and take my son. Where do I stand on this?

Our Response:
You would have to deal with this through mutual negotiation again (if and when it may come to it). A court will not stop a person getting on with their lives. So, it is likely to allow a move where the other parent challenges it - as long as the move is not seen as deliberately stopping the other person from seeing the children. You can challenge it, through the likes of a Prohibited Steps Order (if you think your ex will move without consent). Or a Specific Issue Order (where you wish to challenge her reasoning and justification of making the move). However, it is always best to try to resolve such issues through mediation as court is always seen as the last resort.
SeparatedDads - 12-Jun-18 @ 10:06 AM
Hi,my wife and I have been separated for 12 months, no divorce as yet, we currently both live in the same city and have 50/50 agreed custody of our son. We have nothing formal in place as yet, we have agreed both financial payment and when each of us have our son between ourselves. My ex is in a new relationship as am I, my concern is that her new partner lives in another city and she will move in with her new partner and take my son. Where do I stand on this?
James - 11-Jun-18 @ 2:47 PM
Hi my daughter and herboyfriend moved from Wales to England when she waa 5 months pregnant. When she had the baby the boyfeiend left her after 1 week then 2 weeks after this left to go back to Wales. He is on the birth certificate can he try and take the baby to Wales to stay dhort ir long term if and when he wants? Baby is only a few weeks. If he wad the one that left and moved country and went back home what rights does he have to the baby if there isnt regular contact? Worried gran.
Maggie - 10-Jun-18 @ 11:10 PM
James- Your Question:
Hi there Around 3 weeks ago my wife announced to me she had feelings for someone else and this other person had confirmed his feelings for her. This has really shocked me to my core. I had to go to doctors straight away and get counselling sorted, I couldn’t function. Although I am still angry and upset my feelings have now turned towards how we arrange childcare for our 5 year old son.A week ago today she moved out of our family home with our son to live with her parents (we tried living under the same roof but we couldn’t do it) what I am concerned about now is she can leave my son with her parents at any time she likes to socialise with her new person. Previously She has been going out late at night to a local studio (that this guy owns and runs) and This has been carrying on for a long time. Sometimes she was not Coming back till gone 1am in the morning and I was looking after our son at that time. I don’t think she is putting the boy first because she is out 3-4 times every week to rehearse with various bands. I don’t think it’s fair or morally right if im not informed who EXACTLY is putting our son to bed and looking after regardless of mother / grandparent. I feel as if I have become completely disempowered. She has already been trying to say how school holidays will work in the future. She doesn’t earn enough money to support herself and so has to use her parents home as a base. I briefly suggested she and our son can live in the house and I will move out - that means she would have to parent him consistently, I sense the only reason she is staying at her parents is to get free childcare. I just would like some advice on this please. I have emailed CAB and had some free legal advice but this is the 7th night in a row I haven’t been able to put my son to bed and Be there at night for him etc thanks

Our Response:
Rather than trying to work against your ex, why not try to work with her. If your ex is going out and having a good time, then why not volunteer to take care of your son yourself? There is nothing criminal or wrong in leaving your son with her parents or socialising, please see link here. As difficult as it may seem emotionally, practically your ex is free to do whatever she chooses in terms of how she spends her time, as are you. If you feel you would like to spend more time with your child and she refuses, then perhaps you could suggest mediation as a way of trying to come to an agreement, please see link here. The Separated Dads Forum may help you further, as many of our dads have been through similar issues before and can give great support.
SeparatedDads - 1-Jun-18 @ 12:00 PM
Hi there Around 3 weeks ago my wife announced to me she had feelings for someone else and this other person had confirmed his feelings for her. This has really shocked me to my core. I had to go to doctors straight away and get counselling sorted, I couldn’t function. Although I am still angry and upset my feelings have now turned towards how we arrange childcare for our 5 year old son. A week ago today she moved out of our family home with our son to live with her parents (we tried living under the same roof but we couldn’t do it) what I am concerned about now is she can leave my son with her parents at any time she likes to socialise with her new person. Previously She has been going out late at night to a local studio (that this guy owns and runs) and This has been carrying on for a long time. Sometimes she was not Coming back till gone 1am in the morning and I was looking after our son at that time. I don’t think she is putting the boy first because she is out 3-4 times every week to rehearse with various bands. I don’t think it’s fair or morally right if im not informed who EXACTLY is putting our son to bed and looking after regardless of mother / grandparent. I feel as if I have become completely disempowered. She has already been trying to say how school holidays will work in the future. She doesn’t earn enough money to support herself and so has to use her parents home as a base. I briefly suggested she and our son can live in the house and I will move out - that means she would have to parent him consistently, i sense the only reason she is staying at her parents is to get free childcare. I just would like some advice on this please. I have emailed CAB and had some free legal advice but this is the 7th night in a row I haven’t been able to put my son to bed and Be there at night for him etc thanks
James - 31-May-18 @ 5:50 PM
Brad - Your Question:
Hello,My wife and I are currently in the process of separating, and have three children under 10. She's Australian by birth, but we met and made our lives together here in the UK.Although this isn't something we've talked about, am I right in understanding from the above that should she choose to move back to Australia, and take the children with her, there's nothing I can do about it, unless I fight for full custody?Like I said, while this isn't something that's been suggested, the thought fills me wth absolute horror. Would I have no rights whatsoever to stop this?

Our Response:
Applying to court is the only option you or your ex would have if your ex decided she wished to leave the country without your permission. If your wife is the general day-to-day primary carer of your children, then it is unlikely the court would prevent your ex from taking the children with her. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. However, the general rule is to allow the primary carer to continue in that role regardless of where in the world that may be. You would have to try to justify your reasons why your children shouldn't leave the country with their other parent. It is understandably very emotional and tricky, should this be the case. This is why the courts would prefer both parents to agree between themselves for what they consider long term to be in the best interests of the children.
SeparatedDads - 31-May-18 @ 12:50 PM
Hello, My wife and I are currently in the process of separating, and have three children under 10. She's Australian by birth, but we met and made our lives together here in the UK. Although this isn't something we've talked about, am I right in understanding from the above that should she choose to move back to Australia, and take the children with her, there's nothing I can do about it, unless I fight for full custody? Like I said, while this isn't something that's been suggested, the thought fills me wth absolute horror. Would I have no rights whatsoever to stop this?
Brad - 29-May-18 @ 4:48 PM
Help?- Your Question:
Hi,My fiancé and I are looking to move from England to Ireland. She has a two year old boy from a previous relationship and he would obviously be coming to. She is also pregnant with our child at the moment and is one of the reasons we want to move as I am from there. I have got a job lined up in Ireland (more money than what I am on) and have family all around us when we move there. Can the dad of the two year old stop this ? And if it went to the courts would it not be in my fiancé’s favour as she is the day to day carer and the ex partner only sees the child once every two weeks ? Would it be any different if we where married as we plan on getting married quite soon ?

Our Response:
The courts will not stop a person from continuing with their life. Therefore, if your ex can justify why the move is in the children's best interests then the court are likely to agree. It is likely the court would come up with an alternative access arrangement for the non-resident parent, rather than trying to prevent the move. If it can be agreed out of court, then this is the best option. Mediation may help, please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 11-May-18 @ 3:09 PM
Lbh - Your Question:
My wife informs me she is looking to move away with our daughter. We split in september and altho nothing is in writing she spends half the week with me and half the week with her mum.are there steps I can take to prevent this. My daughter is only 5 but she wants to stay with me and when me and her mokther was together it would be me that got her up and dressed and put her to bed every night so I see myself as her main carer.Any help would be appriciated.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. Much depends on the circumstances and why your ex is planning to move. Likewise, if you cannot agree through mediation, then you would have to try to justify why it is in your child's best interests to remain with you as the primary carer. You may wish to seek some legal advice if you wish to pursue the matter to court. You can see more about the process via the link here.
SeparatedDads - 11-May-18 @ 10:40 AM
My wife informs me she is looking to move away with our daughter. We split in september and altho nothing is in writing she spends half the week with me and half the week with her mum...are there steps i can take to prevent this. My daughter is only 5 but she wants to stay with me and when me and her mokther was together it would be me that got her up and dressed and put her to bed every night so i see myself as her main carer. Any help would be appriciated.
Lbh - 10-May-18 @ 12:51 PM
Hi, My fiancé and I are looking to move from England to Ireland. She has a two year old boy from a previous relationship and he would obviously be coming to. She is also pregnant with our child at the moment and is one of the reasons we want to move as I am from there. I have got a job lined up in Ireland (more money than what I am on) and have family all around us when we move there. Can the dad of the two year old stop this ? And if it went to the courts would it not be in my fiancé’s favour as she is the day to day carer and the ex partner only sees the child once every two weeks ? Would it be any different if we where married as we plan on getting married quite soon ?
Help? - 7-May-18 @ 11:45 PM
Very conserned step- Your Question:
Good day Herewith I would like to find out something.My husband have a daughter of 9 years and he's ex wife decided to move as her new boyfriend got a new job.The probleme is the ex wife did not inform my husband that she is taking the child out of school and that she us moving what can he do legaly?Thank you

Our Response:
The only recourse your husband has (if he disagrees with the move), is to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order to try to prevent the move (if he does not feel it is in his child's best interests). If your husband has parental responsibility of his daughter, then his ex should by law ask for his consent to leave the area. A Prohibited Steps Order (PSO) is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 1-May-18 @ 2:11 PM
Good day Herewith I would like to find out something. My husband have a daughter of 9 years and he's ex wife decided to move as her new boyfriend got a new job. The probleme is the ex wife did not inform my husband that she is taking the child out of school and that she us moving what can he do legaly? Thank you
Very conserned step - 30-Apr-18 @ 9:54 PM
Walcott1980 - Your Question:
My wife of 15 years and I have separated and we have a seven year old son. I am the sole bread winner in the relationship. She is originally from abroad and wishes to take our child over to spain to live where she has family. I am at a lost as to how I can prevent this from happening. My son loves his current school and social clubs that he attends and I fear the move would have a detrimental impact on him.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. If your wife is the current day-to-day primary carer of your child, then it is likely a court would allow your wife to move back to her home country. As long as your wife is not making the move deliberatley and can justify why she should move back (i.e family, financial reasons/support), then a court will not try to force her to remain in the UK. Your best option is to try to negotiate fair access and contact to your child and try to keep the relationship on an amicable levels so you can remain an integral part of your son's life. Unfortunately, with globalisation this is becoming a more and more frequent occurance.
SeparatedDads - 16-Apr-18 @ 10:39 AM
My wife of 15 years and I have separated and we have a seven year old son. I am the sole bread winner in the relationship.She is originally from abroad and wishes to take our child over to spain to live where she has family. I am at a lost as to how I can prevent this from happening.My son loves his current school and social clubs that he attends and I fear the move would have a detrimental impact on him.
Walcott1980 - 15-Apr-18 @ 5:11 AM
Megan2001 - Your Question:
HiI need to advice, I moved away with my daughter with the backing of her father my ex partner. We have mostly shared the drop off and pick up but it’s been increasingly me having to fit around times and the day he can do when he has access to a car. As the resident parent, who is responsible for picking up and dropping of my daughter and can I stipulate times (6pm on a Sunday as she has school and he lives over an hour away). Thanks for any help

Our Response:
You should agree between you as there are no set rules. If you cannot, then you should consider mediation in order to find a fair way around solving the issue, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 12-Apr-18 @ 3:35 PM
Very Scared Dad - Your Question:
Hi really need advice ive just found out that my Ex-partner is planning to move 600miles From Scotland to England with my 8 Year old Daughter her current partner and there 2 children. The fact I work fulltime on minimum wage. live in private accomodation with very little left once I pay household bills /child maintenance/travel cost etc etc and I dont drive.Mean I would never be able to afford to see my daughter (NEVER). My Daughter has asked to come stay with me perminantly. At what age can she decide to come stay with me ??

Our Response:
The family law process differs in Scotland to England (which is where this site is based). You may be able to apply to court if you wish to 'try' to prevent the move. If you have parental responsibility, you may be able to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. However, if you can trying to negotiate and agree an arrangement outside of court is always the best option. Court is always seen as the last resort. Much depends upon how integrated you are in your child's life on a day-to-day basis regarding whether a court would allow you residency. However, it is rare that a court will hand a child over from one parent to another without very good reason. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. The older the child is i.e a teenager, the more a court will consider the child's preference.You may wish to seek legal advice first in order to fully explore your options.
SeparatedDads - 12-Apr-18 @ 1:01 PM
Hi really need advice ive just found out that my Ex-partner is planning to move 600miles From Scotland to England with my 8 Year old Daughter her current partner and there 2 children. The fact i work fulltime on minimum wage. live in private accomodation with very little left once i pay household bills /child maintenance/travel cost etc etc and i dont drive .Mean i would never be able to afford to see my daughter (NEVER) .... My Daughter has asked to come stay with me perminantly .... At what age can she decide to come stay with me ??....
Very Scared Dad - 11-Apr-18 @ 2:16 AM
Hi I need to advice, I moved away with my daughter with the backing of her father my ex partner. We have mostly shared the drop off and pick up but it’s been increasingly me having to fit around times and the day he can do when he has access to a car. As the resident parent, who is responsible for picking up and dropping of my daughter and can I stipulate times (6pm on a Sunday as she has school and he lives over an hour away). Thanks for any help
Megan2001 - 10-Apr-18 @ 3:21 PM
Garybo - Your Question:
Hi, my ex has just announced that she is moving with her boyfriend of 3 months two hours away! I have seen my son up till now every day, given him a bath and read him a story before bed. My ex and I have always been on good terms even though we've not been together for five years now. I want her to have a boyfriend and a healthy life but I'm worried (mostly about sexual abuse) since she hardly knows this guy and I'll never get to see our child! I have a stable job, house and partner near his school- do I have a chance of getting custody? What should I do?

Our Response:
It is highly unlikely a court would take your child from one parent (who is considered the primary carer) and hand him to another without good reason. We cannot assume everyone is a child abuser. Therefore, unless you have valid proof or grave concerns, then there is little you can do here. Trying to make an amicable arrangement will work better. The main questions to ask yourself are; do you think your ex would deliberately put your child into danger? Can you trust that your ex will act with your child's best interests at heart? Suggesting mediation may be a way of trying to resolve any issues you may have and can help to put an access arrangement into place if she does move. By law your ex should request your consent to move (if you have parental responsibility). However, the only way you can challenge this is through court and it is unlikely a court would stop her from getting on with her life. Therefore, please see link here . Mutual communication and possibly getting to know her new partner so that you be on amicable terms for the sake of your child, may be the best option.
SeparatedDads - 3-Apr-18 @ 10:13 AM
Hi, my ex has just announced that she is moving with her boyfriend of 3 months two hours away! I have seen my son up till now every day, given him a bath and read him a story before bed. My ex and I have always been on good terms even though we've not been together for five years now. I want her to have a boyfriend and a healthy life but I'm worried (mostly about sexual abuse) since she hardly knows this guy and I'll never get to see our child! I have a stable job, house and partner near his school- do I have a chance of getting custody? What should I do?
Garybo - 2-Apr-18 @ 12:38 PM
Smithy - Your Question:
Hi I just want some advice about my ex she has stop me seeing my daughter over 4 years now, now I have just find out that she has moved away with out tell me or letting any of my family know just need to know which road is best to go down as I'm so disappointed that things gone like this she is not a nice person and very controlive she just would not let me be a dad

Our Response:
Your only recourse would be to apply to court for contact, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 27-Mar-18 @ 12:01 PM
Hi I just want some advice about my ex she has stop me seeing my daughter over 4 years now, now I have just find out that she has moved away with out tell me or letting any of my family know just need to know which road is best to go down as I'm so disappointed that things gone like this she is not a nice person and very controlive she just would not let me be a dad
Smithy - 26-Mar-18 @ 7:19 PM
My ex girlfriend is looking at moving to dumfries this id approx 70miles away. However i dont want her to take my child away. How do i stop this?
Mark - 9-Mar-18 @ 5:14 PM
Bestie - Your Question:
Hello I need some advice please. My daughters mother is moving with her new husband and my daughter to Scotland (over 300 miles away). I received a letter in the post from my ex telling me in just over a months time they will be moving. She has already enrolled my daughter in a new school in Scotland, bought a flat and excepted a job offer.We currently have a child arrangement order but this will be void once she moves. She is a very manipulative person.•So the advice I’m after is what, if anything, will the court award me in terms of contact? •Can my case be sped up as she is moving in just over a month?

Our Response:
If you have parental responsibility, by law your ex has to request your consent to move away with your child. She will also be in breach of the contact order, please see link here. You may wish to seek legal advice asap regarding this. As you can refer the matter directly to court (if you wish to challenge this). You may also wish to join our Separated Dads forum for additional advice.
SeparatedDads - 9-Mar-18 @ 2:42 PM
Hello I need some advice please. My daughters mother is moving with her new husband and my daughter to Scotland (over 300 miles away). I received a letter in the post from my ex telling me in just over a months time they will be moving. She has already enrolled my daughter in a new school in Scotland, bought a flat and excepted a job offer. We currently have a child arrangement order but this will be void once she moves. She is a very manipulative person. •So the advice I’m after is what, if anything, will the court award me in terms of contact? •Can my case be sped up as she is moving in just over a month?
Bestie - 9-Mar-18 @ 12:16 AM
lonelyfather - Your Question:
HI my ex wife after 15 years of marriage separated from me claiming emotional abuse after one big row which ended up in me wrongly blowing my top in anger after she sent me very personal abusive comments I stupidly retaliated in sending her derogatory text messages which she then later presented to the police as evidence , she was then assigned a DV officer I was inter vied by the police and I thought the matter was settled as I explained we were not living in the same household for another of years and I would not be in anyway talking to sending message or approaching my ex ,since that time I kept to my side oif the bargain and other than seeing y kids occasionally which she allowed me to do so and which was possible as I did not live that far away things I thought were fine i did not realise at that time which I found out latrer that she was making plans to move to another city 120 miles away from me to be closer to her own family using this one incident and liaising with her DV officer she sold her property and during the kids 6 weeks school holidays when she normally takes the kids to her parents for a cpl of weeks break she did not return i later then when my enquiries failed as to why they were taking so long to come back I received an email from her saying that she had sold up and moved permanently with the kids and she wont be returning back i was devastated to learn of this and felt betrayed both by her and the police as I adamantly explained at the time it was a one off silly argument that got out of hand since then it has now been over 7 months she wont tell me the address at where nthey are staying I have myu daughters mobile number which I occasional phone but since the move I feel my daughter and she has said to me a few times that it was all my fault and I wasnnt a good person and certain other comments which I have never heard from her I feel my ex is turning my kids against me using her family putting words into my kids mouths i have asked several times if I can come and visit but I do not get any answers backmy problem is I have approached a few law firms but they all say it is a civil matter and there are costs involved which I would have to pay this is a big problem for me as I am on employment and support allowance asi am very ill and have a number of serious physical health issues which now have deteriorated further and I feel my mental state is staring to suffer too ads I miss my kids so much pls can any one offer any advice I feel I am stuck in a corner my ex is very clever and manipulative she has over exaggerated the situation and has told a pack of lies to the police and is purposely denying me the right to see my children as a form of punishment

Our Response:
This would be a matter for the courts. If you cannot afford legal representation, you can self-litigate, please see link here . You will also get a reduction on court fees if you are unemployed, please see link here . If you cannot locate your ex's address, the court can do this on your behalf. You would have to fill in a C4 form (which is an application for the disclose of the whereabouts of a child) when applying for a child arrangement order, please see link here . You may also wish to join our Separated Dads forum, where you will get all the advice you need.
SeparatedDads - 8-Mar-18 @ 12:34 PM
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