Home > Case Studies > When Daddy Got a New Girlfriend: A Case Study

When Daddy Got a New Girlfriend: A Case Study

By: Emma Jones - Updated: 25 Nov 2020 | comments*Discuss
 
Daddy Girlfriend Mummy New Partner New

Alesha, 7, was scared that her Dad only wanted to spend time with his new girlfriend, but now says they have become friends.

“I was very sad when Daddy moved out as I couldn’t see him every day. I missed him reading me a story when I went to bed and playing with me in the garden. Mummy was sad, too, and used to cry in her bed. When I did get to see him it was a lot of fun and he would take me to the zoo or to go swimming and play in the park.

“My friend’s Dad moved out but then he came back again and I was hoping that my Daddy would, too. I would pray and ask God to make him come back but it didn’t work. Mummy told me that he still loved me but that they were not very happy living together.”

A New Girlfriend

“One day when I went to visit Daddy he said that there was somebody that he wanted me to meet. Her name was Alison and she had long black hair and was very pretty. He said that she was his friend and was going to come out with us for the day. I didn’t really want her to as I wanted to just be with Daddy but she was lots of fun.

“When I went home and told Mummy about Alison, she was very angry. I could hear her on the phone shouting at Daddy but I don’t know what she was saying. After that, I didn’t really want to see Alison because I didn’t want to make Mummy angry.”

Daddy’s Girl

“I didn’t see Daddy as much for the next few months and Mummy would say it was because of Alison. I didn’t really know what she meant but I was worried that Daddy was going to replace her with me and loved her more. I was sad that I didn’t get to see him and was scared that he would stop visiting."

A few months later, Alesha went to stay with her Dad and he told her all about Alison. He explained that she was his new girlfriend and that he loved her but Alesha would always be his favourite girl.

Making Friends

“I didn’t want Daddy to love Alison but I was happy that he loved me, too. At first, I wouldn’t talk to Alison and would ignore her when she came round. She kept coming over though so eventually I decided that it was boring to keep ignoring her.

“Once I started talking to her I thought she was quite nice and she asked if we could be friends. I said that we could be and that made her and Daddy smile. Now I don’t mind seeing her and she is good at making brownies. She is not always there when I go to see Daddy which is good, because sometimes I just want to see him. Mummy doesn’t seem as angry at her now but I don’t really talk about her when I’m not with Daddy.”

For more information, see our articles Introducing A New Partner To Your Children and When Your Ex Gets A New Partner on this site.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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Wow, matt. After years of trying to find help with a situation just like yours, trawling thousands of threads and articles for help and advice, this is the only one I've seen that hits home with our situation. Being in the middle of the person you want to spend your life with, wanting to be there for your kids, but knowing trying to do both damages both parties and yourself, with no one really happy whichever way it goes. It feels like an impossible battle... i am scared to know what happened for you...
Tj - 23-Oct-20 @ 4:12 PM
I am a 35 year old woman who is coming out of a 10-year marriage this is the third time he has left me and ghosted me he completely cut me off and there was a lot of mental abuse through the relationship that we both had done to each other and I was very abusive to him because I didn't understand what love was because I had been abused my whole life then I finally started to understand that when you love someone you don't hurt them you just try to love them and bite your tongue and pick your battles and I went back for almost 3 months everything was going great I mean we had a few arguments but nothing major like it used to be and then on my birthday weekend I left on a Wednesday to go spend it with my children was supposed to go back home Sunday I got a message on Friday telling me that he's done he didn't love me no more he couldn't be with me and then he just throws me my clothes and he keeps all my other property and he has me sitting here and I'm so concern I'm wondering why did you even bring me back for 3 months cuz it took me almost 6 months to get over you and I wasn't even all the way over you yet but I was learning to get over you and then bring me back 3 months and then break my heart all over again. Overall my pretty strong person I can take a lot but I'm starting to learn how to control my emotions more than I usually ever have been able to. One day at a Time one foot in front of each other and a lot of prayer.
Cece - 19-Aug-20 @ 2:38 AM
hi i am a teenager and my dad is a relationship but i am actually very upseat that his gf is a tomboy and so am i iand i have some sort of feeling that she doest understand that i am a tomboy because she is always expecting me to act like a girly girl and the fact is my dad is now quetioning my gender and asking am i straight or am i lesbian and the fact is i am straight but he just doesnt understand that i currently dont have a mother since she past away but in the end i have good friends and i have 3 half siblings that i have to look after and then on top of that my dads gf has 3 boys and i am the oldest family in my house and the second oldest is in year 4 and so i am the only teenager in my family and i have no one i can talk to and since i dont have a mother i have to take on the mother role my dad rarely talks to me all he says is make dinner, morning, goodnight and yes and no i am so lost on what to do could someone plz help me
sea-gal - 18-Aug-20 @ 7:46 AM
Tas.i just been on the forum and read sum off the fathers stories( holy hell ).sum fathers have been accused of touching there children shouting and hitting them having social services involved.(bye all means if they did it they should go to jail and never be allowed around children again) .but imagine if you didn’t do it good lord that’s soul shattering.i don’t class myself as good dad but I never hit my daughter or touched her I love her and could never hurt her I want to her to better then me and want her to go to uni and get a degree and marry a good professional men .and hope she doesn’t turn out like her mother that’s my biggest fear .her mother missed out my brains when born she is the (classic blonde bimbo complete with giggle 100 percent) I think instead off brains she got a sleeping hamster up there instead .
C laurie - 2-Jul-20 @ 5:49 PM
I have a partner who has two children, 6 & 4. Their mother has many times dropped them into my care hours before she knows their father will return from work. She has also asked me to care for them out of agreed access times because she is stressed and can't cope. The first time was for a week, the second 3 days. She has now recieved a divorce petition so is very bitter and the 6yr old told me that mummy said daddy is not allowed a girlfriend because he is her husband and should be living with them. Last Sunday she called my partner drunk an hour before he was supposed to return them. She was so drunk she was calling him darling and slurring her words. He refused to take them home whilst she was in that state and suggested she collect them Monday morning. This caused her father (who was also drunk as they had been at a family party) to call and verbally abuse my partner. Today partner got a call from the family hub in our area saying the mother had made an allegation that I shout at the children and therefore I was no longer allowed to be with the children alone. I am understandably upset and there is nothing I can do about this allegation. I called the family hub myself to explain but it fell on deaf ears. I really feel that I shouldn't be around the children at all now but this will adversely affect the relationship with my partner. Does anyone have any advice?
Tas - 2-Jul-20 @ 3:28 PM
I have a partner who has two children, 6 & 4. Their mother has many times dropped them into my care hours before she knows their father will return from work. She has also asked me to care for them out of agreed access times because she is stressed and can't cope. The first time was for a week, the second 3 days. She has now recieved a divorce petition so is very bitter and the 6yr old told me that mummy said daddy is not allowed a girlfriend because he is her husband and should be living with them. Last Sunday she called my partner drunk an hour before he was supposed to return them. She was so drunk she was calling him darling and slurring her words. He refused to take them home whilst she was in that state and suggested she collect them Monday morning. This caused her father (who was also drunk as they had been at a family party) to call and verbally abuse my partner. Today partner got a call from the family hub in our area saying the mother had made an allegation that I shout at the children and therefore I was no longer allowed to be with the children alone. I am understandably upset and there is nothing I can do about this allegation. I called the family hub myself to explain but it fell on deaf ears. I really feel that I shouldn't be around the children at all now but this will adversely affect the relationship with my partner. Does anyone have any advice?
Tas - 2-Jul-20 @ 3:27 PM
Hi, I’ve been separated for 3 yrs due to partner cheating. He is now upto gf number 2 & it’s been 6 mths as I know through kids. Well recently my kids have mentioned that they were left with her while their dad went to watch a boxing fight at pub & didn’t come home till late as they were put to sleep. Is there anything I can say about this? I feel coz he hasn’t told me about her that I should know who my kids are around expecially if left alone while in his care. Help!!
Pink - 26-Aug-19 @ 2:29 AM
I was very much sad and shocked when i came to seethat my superhero papa had a girlfriend and he is stilling keeping the relationship with her.What can i do to stop this?I dont want my superhero papa to be others.Now i dont like his presence.I hate talking to my papa.What shall i do ?
zaina - 6-Jun-19 @ 11:06 AM
Need some advice. Since my ex has been with his new girlfriend (they have been together 2 months) all he has been doing is drinking and doing drugs, she got a lump sum of money and that's what it's being spent on. Nearly every night they have been partying for the last 5 weeks straight. My ex has missed contact with his daughter due to him and his gf having plans and "forgetting" (his words) what day it is. Because of this behaviour, last week the day before his contact I went round to check the condition of the house was safe for my daughter. I was shocked to see that it looked like a crack den and stunk of stale alcohol and cannabis. While I was in the house I witnessed his gf buy 2 different types of illegal drugs and got them delivered to his house, she told me that her father had stayed the night before and had been using heroin in the house, She was also on tranquilizers when I was speaking to her, she literally has no shame and thinks that this behaviour is normal, she didn't even try to hide it. My ex looked embarrassed by her but then admitted himself that he was on amphetamines. Fair to say i am never letting my daughter step foot in that house or near his gf. What I want advice on is whether I should stop all contact or just allow him supervised contact, without the gf of course.
Kazzy - 15-Apr-19 @ 2:29 PM
@Matt - it is possible only through love and mutual support. But it's not easy. Many people constantly feel torn and stuck somehwere in the middle between their current partners and their kids and there is no one-fits-all solution. Communication and conversation is always the best way around this. She chose you too and she knew the deal.
MikeH - 13-Sep-18 @ 12:00 PM
I’ve been separated for two years now and been with a new partner for a year and a half. She never wanted kids and still doesn’t but I have two from my previous marriage. She is good to them don’t get me wrong but I know she resents them sometimes and the fact I give them attention. I don’t know how I can be a single dad and also be there for my girlfriend. She feels like she has missed out on settling down, travelling, marriage.. all the things I have already done. If she can’t accept them is there any future? We have both given up so much to be together and love each other a lot. Is that enough? I’ve struggled so much over the last two years, secretly depressed with little support from friends. I can’t be depressed I have children. I’ve self harmed suicidal thoughts.. even written my note to everyone saying sorry.. I’ve got through some really dark times and now I should be happy enjoying life but instead I’m stuck worried and trying to protect my children from my girlfriend and girlfriend from my children. And it not as easy as to walk away from her. I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her.How can I find a balance? Is it possible?
Matt - 11-Sep-18 @ 11:00 PM
Hi I am 12 years old, my mum and dad separated in February 2017. My dad told me in July 2017 that he had a new girlfriend, her name is Emma and she has 2 girls, Shannon and Sophie- Mae. I don't like Emma and when I told my dad that I don't like her I told her it's either me or her. Emma hates me and she tells my nan how I use my dad. She is controlling my dad has forced him to have a tattoo. My dad doesn't seem to care about me I feel like I've been replaced by the 2 girls. I feel like my dad doesn't love me and doesn't want me anymore. He is making me depressed. After 6 months of him telling me about her he moved in with her. What can I do?
Ces - 28-Aug-18 @ 8:23 PM
A - Your Question:
I am so stuck and need advice on what to do and have no one to turn to.Me and my ex were together for 10 years, we have a 5 year old son. We split due to him cheating multiple times after our son was born. This last January he cheated for the last time and I finally decided I was done. We split for good. He got in a relationship with and moved in with the woman within a week of us splitting. We decided to split time (half weeks), or so I thought. Until I found out he had took our son for an overnight at the woman's home within the first month of moving out of my house. I was upset and said no more overnights until they are together some time and then we can discuss. I then found out that they did an overnight within the first two weeks and my son kept it a secret from me. It's been 5 months now and him and his gf have broke up multiple times. So I told him that he can see his son whenever, but not when his gf is around. I do not receive help financially at all. I have done every bit of this on my own. When I said no more overnights, it was almost 2 months that he went without seeing his son. He is now calling and saying that him and his gf are doing fine the last 2 months and I just need to let him bring our son around her. I said no, and he finally got him for a day to spend with him but wants him again for a day next week and said his gf will be there. I don't know to just give up and let it all happen or to say no and it needs to be only him or not at all. I don't want to seem like I'm keeping his son away from him, I just want to protect my son from getting attached if they break up again! What do I do? Also, new gf is insanely controlling. Won't even let us communicate when it comes to our son. I am just lost and want to do the right thing for my son!

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear you are having a tricky time. However, regardless of your opinion your son's father is his father with parental responsibility and when your son is in his care he takes responsibility regarding making decisions. If you met someone, would you consider asking his permission to introduce your son to that person? Also, you are not your ex's keeper. Unless you think is girlfriend may be harmful to your child, then if you keep your son from his father he would have the option to take the matter to court (if you can't resolve these issues through mediation). If the matter goes to court, unless you find a provable reason why your ex's girlfriend shouldn't be involved in your son's life then it's likely the court would allow your ex to make his own decisions regarding who he introduces his son to. It's understandable that you feel resentment and anger for this person, but in reality if she treats your son well and is kind etc, then this is in the best interests of your child. Whether your ex and her break up in the future and whether this impacts on your son is something you cannot control.
SeparatedDads - 31-Jul-18 @ 9:21 AM
I am so stuck and need advice on what to do and have no one to turn to. Me and my ex were together for 10 years, we have a 5 year old son. We split due to him cheating multiple times after our son was born. This last January he cheated for the last time and I finally decided I was done. We split for good. He got in a relationship with and moved in with the woman within a week of us splitting. We decided to split time (half weeks), or so I thought. Until I found out he had took our son for an overnight at the woman's home within the first month of moving out of my house. I was upset and said no more overnights until they are together some time and then we can discuss. I then found out that they did an overnight within the first two weeks and my son kept it a secret from me. It's been 5 months now and him and his gf have broke up multiple times. So I told him that he can see his son whenever, but not when his gf is around. I do not receive help financially at all. I have done every bit of this on my own. When I said no more overnights, it was almost 2 months that he went without seeing his son. He is now calling and saying that him and his gf are doing fine the last 2 months and I just need to let him bring our son around her. I said no, and he finally got him for a day to spend with him but wants him again for a day next week and said his gf will be there. I don't know to just give up and let it all happen or to say no and it needs to be only him or not at all. I don't want to seem like I'm keeping his son away from him, I just want to protect my son from getting attached if they break up again! What do I do? Also, new gf is insanely controlling. Won't even let us communicate when it comes to our son. I am just lost and want to do the right thing for my son!
A - 30-Jul-18 @ 1:16 AM
My husband has 2 sons with an ex and the youngest is almost 18 he does not live with his mum he lives with his girlfriend and her parents so why am I paying child support when his mum my ex is going abroad 3 and 4 times. A year and not taking my son?
Ke51sea - 19-Jun-18 @ 4:49 AM
Flo - Your Question:
Hi, I’ve been with my partner for over a year now and left it over 6mths until I introduced my children (I’m a mum who separated due to my husband having an affair) my new partner went through a similar separation his partner cheated and he left the family home following the separation but as the father he doesn’t see his children as much and has to go to their home each time. They separated 3years ago and he has only been out and away from their home with his daughter on one occasion to go to a pottery session in that time and his son won’t and they prefer for their mum to be there all the time. I suggested perhaps a trip to Legoland as that’s something all kids love and both sets of kids having been before have commented on going again, so we thought this would be a good opportunity to meet but his children don’t want to go! I feel his children seem to have too much of a say in what they can or can’t do and I’m now not sure how to progress going forward as my children are keen to meet my Partner’s children and mine don’t understand why they can’t! I’m feeling disheartened by it all and so is my partner but when I say to my partner that he needs to take them out of their comfort zone and they will soon adjust he gets defensive and suggestions.I was thinking I/We May have to go to their house but I’m not sure how comfortable we’d all feel about that ?! Feel very stuck!

Our Response:
Unfortunately, if parents cannot agree between themselves, then you can see more via the gov.uk link here, which will tell you all you need to know.
SeparatedDads - 10-May-18 @ 2:07 PM
Hi, I’ve been with my partner for over a year now and left it over 6mths until I introduced my children (I’m a mum who separated due to my husband having an affair) my new partner went through a similar separation his partner cheated and he left the family home following the separation but as the father he doesn’t see his children as much and has to go to their home each time. They separated 3years ago and he has only been out and away from their home with his daughter on one occasion to go to a pottery session in that time and his son won’t and they prefer for their mum to be there all the time. I suggested perhaps a trip to Legoland as that’s something all kids love and both sets of kids having been before have commented on going again, so we thought this would be a good opportunity to meet but his children don’t want to go! I feel his children seem to have too much of a say in what they can or can’t do and I’m now not sure how to progress going forward as my children are keen to meet my Partner’s children and mine don’t understand why they can’t! I’m feeling disheartened by it all and so is my partner but when I say to my partner that he needs to take them out of their comfort zone and they will soon adjust he gets defensive and suggestions. I was thinking I/We May have to go to their house but I’m not sure how comfortable we’d all feel about that ?! Feel very stuck!
Flo - 9-May-18 @ 8:08 PM
@Spock - I'd always put my kids first, you owe them more in terms of loyalty. I know your new g/f wants to spend time with you but surely she must understand why it is necessary to see and support your son. If she had her daughter over at weekends, I'm sure she wouldn't feel the same and expect you to fit in with her. It's a tough decision - but you have to weigh up your priorities and only you can do that. DF
Dan76* - 13-Apr-17 @ 2:11 PM
I have an adult son with very slight autism and have separated from his mum. I work a demanding job that includes a lot of weekends. My problems are my new partner thinks that I shouldn't see him when I have a weekend off if we haven't had a weekend free. I try and see him every other weekend from Friday 4pm to Sunday 4pm but it is hard if I have worked the previous weekend because my new girlfriend wants time with me. Her daughter stays with her dad mon wed and Fri nights. Feeling torn between my girlfriend who I love and my son who I love and I feel really misses me
Spock - 8-Apr-17 @ 11:16 PM
@carol - You can only ask him straight for the answers. He may have a good enough reason i.e it's early days and he may want nothing to get in the way of his divorce. But, if he starts making excuses then you may need to try to ascertain whether he is making excuses. I can understand if he is not introducing you to his kids just yet, but his parents are a different matter because they are on his side, not his ex's. Give yourself a deadline, if he hasn't introduced you to his parents or kids after a year, then there is something he is not telling you. Suse.
Susie^ - 24-Feb-17 @ 2:40 PM
I'm 30 single without kid, dating for the past 7 months,a man of 46 with 2 kids of 14 and 6years old who is in the process of divorce.we are both in love and he was franck to me about his status, throughout the relationship I often ask my man to introduceme to his parent and his house to know much about him and be more confident as it must be done, unfortunatelyhe keeps tellingme to be patientfor the right time to come. I feel a bit anxious, I often examined myself get a bit worried sometime. I wish I could get answers to my questions. can I cope with it? what to do? should I quite the relationship ?should I be patient?despite thatI'm not the cost of theirdivorce.I'm in love. but I'm ready for any advice.
carol - 24-Feb-17 @ 11:57 AM
M - Your Question:
Husband left for affair partner. She find out he lied to her and get stoppy if I text him regarding our child. So to keep the peace he doesnt reply. If talking to him on phone for like 30s he will pretend he talk to daughter. Why he is made uncorfortable to send a reply. The texts are just about what time will he call her things like that. I am scared that if a emergency he wont pick up. What can I do so he understand our 9 years old child is not a go between for communication between parents.

Our Response:
It's a difficult situation and one that many separated parents face with new spouses and/or partners. If your ex does not wish to let his new partner know, this is up to him. I can only suggest that if there is an emergency you agree a code text word, which means your ex should contact you asap. As frustrating and/or as difficult as it is I'm afraid this is something you will have to respect and try to work around.
SeparatedDads - 12-Sep-16 @ 11:26 AM
Husband left for affair partner. She find out he lied to her and get stoppy if i text him regarding our child. So to keep the peace he doesnt reply . If talking to him on phone for like 30s he will pretend he talk to daughter. Why he is made uncorfortable to send a reply . The texts are just about what time will he call her things like that. I am scared that if a emergency he wont pick up. What can i do so he understand our 9 years old child is not a go between for communication between parents.
M - 11-Sep-16 @ 9:44 AM
@Kibblesmagee - integrating into another person's family is never easy when there are all sorts of emotions flying around. Trying to get to the bottom of those emotions and untangle them is even more difficult, and that's when you're an adult. Can you imagine what it's like for a kid? Especially as they find it so difficult to articulate at five. I suppose it's all about taking it slowly and re-assure them that you're not trying to get in the way of their relationship between them and their dad. I certainly wouldn't take it personally that they want to spend time alone with their dad, of course they do, they only see him every second weekend. You've only known them for four months so some adjustment will be needed - step back a bit, let their dad have time with them. It's very early days and some people wait a long time before they introduce their new partners. It's still all new to the kids, but hopefully they will begin to thaw. But I never tried to tell my GF's kids if they were doing something wrong, didn't feel it was my place at all, not for the first year or so anyway. I feel personally that has to be done gradually.
Rich7410 - 2-Sep-16 @ 9:31 AM
I have recently started dating a guy who has 2 children, ages 5 and 6.. One girl and one boy. I met them 4 months ago when I first started dating my partner. Just recently I have had a few issues with the youngest girl and she has been wanting her Dad alot and basically crieds when he isnt around etc. She plays continues games with me at the age of 5. This week when my partner was speaking with the children and they told their Dad they just wanted to spend time with just him and not me. My partner thinks its a jealousy thing or the fact that maybe I havent bonded with them enough etc. My thoughts are that I see them every second weekend, and my partner is quite vauge at the best of times and tunes out when the kids are doin something I dont agree with... In a nice and proper way I tell thm its not ok to do what their doin etc. I personally think the kids are just missing their Dad and want to spend more time with him etc. Im not really sure what or how I should build a relationship with these two kids even though I only see them every 2nd weekend... And well their Dad is always their... so it makes it phyiscally impossible for them just to be happy to be spending time with me and their Dad... Any thoughts or suggestions on how I could approach things differently or what advise someone could offer me relating this situation?
Kibblesmagee - 2-Sep-16 @ 4:22 AM
Alex - Your Question:
Hi,I have recently left my wife and my daughter to be with another woman, I am not proud of what I have done or that I had an affair, all that matters is my daughter is not upset by it all.That said I have been trying to push my daughter to meet my 'friend' and now my new girlfriend is worried that she wont like her or accept it.I am worried that if I push it too much will it stop my daughter wanting to see me, but at the same time I don't want my new girlfriend to be upset and I lose her in the process

Our Response:
You don't say how old your daughter is or how long you have been separated. If it was recently, as you say, then your daughter will be coming to terms with the separation. As specified in the article Introducing a New Partner to Your Children, link here. 'The situation is a little different if you’ve left to be with another woman. Your ex will have told the children, and you should have sat down with them to explain it, too. However, that doesn’t mean you need to introduce her immediately. Take time alone with your kids when you’re with them, and introduce her gradually, as you might with any relationship. Avoid introducing her immediately as their new stepmother; between fairytales and stories, step-parents have bad reputations. Give your children a chance to become used to her and vice versa.' In addition, if your new partner is an empathetic person, she will understand why you may not want to rush into introducing your daughter to her and she will also understand that such an event needs time and careful handling. Also you want to be sure that the relationship is right before you embark on trying to integrate your daughter into your new relationship. It is never an easy issue to tackle, but you have to go with your gut instinct and do what you feel is best for your daughter first and foremost, as your girlfriend being older, should have the maturity to comprehend.
SeparatedDads - 26-Jan-16 @ 2:51 PM
Hi, I have recently left my wife and my daughter to be with another woman, I am not proud of what I have done or that I had an affair, all that matters is my daughter is not upset by it all. That said I have been trying to push my daughter to meet my 'friend' and now my new girlfriend is worried that she wont like her or accept it. I am worried that if I push it too much will it stop my daughter wanting to see me, but at the same time I don't want my new girlfriend to be upset and I lose her in the process
Alex - 26-Jan-16 @ 1:14 PM
hi , ive just found out that my ex whom i have a three year old with has been seeing a girl for a year, has introduced my son to her from pretty much the beginning, and gone away on holiday together for two nights all together recently. I also know that my child has been told to lie to me about the girl, pretend she doesnt exist. the father doesnt know i know all this. I just dont know what to do, i feel so disrespted , especially since he knows that having a girlfriend wouldnt be a problem. i can belive my child has been told to lie, i feel sick and cant stop crying. this is wrong isnt it? i can be a real pushover and if i say anything he could convince me i have no reason to be upset over this, so i just want to get someones opinion for a bit of support.
mug - 30-Jun-15 @ 10:59 PM
@Robbie - it is never easy for fathers to have another man come into the life of their child, never mind another man's family as well, so it is quite understandable that you feel this way. While it may seem to your ex that she is utilising a practical offer from her new partner's parents that will save her money and seems like a good idea, to you it is obviously a betrayal of sorts, especially if your own parents are also free to look after her. Have you spoke to her and told her how you feel? If you get on ok, it might be worth just sitting down and having a chat, she may not have realised that this move may upset you and has seen it merely as a handy solution to a problem. I would imagine that your ex has weighed up the situation and as your daughter's mother wouldn't leave your daughter in anyone's care where she may come to harm. Unfortunately, her partner's parents will become your daughter's new step-grandparents once married and as long as you feel your daughter is being properly looked after then it might have to be something you might not necessarily like but are powerless to do much about it except to offer your own parents or your own help if required. However, it is nice to know that they have set up a room to your daughter and have obviously welcomed into their family with love. You may feel even worse if it was someone that was not going to treat her as their own.
SeparatedDads - 9-Mar-15 @ 12:25 PM
Hi, Am I over reacting? I have one child to my ex and we have been seperated for over 2 years. She is engaged and has been in her relationship with her new partner for over a year. The thing is my ex has made the decision to take our child out of nursery one day of the week and for some of those days her new partners parents will look after our child. Her parents work shifts and my own mother looks after my sisters kids most of the week and is also of retirement age. Her partners parents have a room set up for our daughter too. Is this normal!?
Robbie - 6-Mar-15 @ 2:31 PM
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