Home > Forum > Forum Rules and Code of Conduct

Forum Rules and Code of Conduct

By: Clare Birtles - Updated: 19 Nov 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Forum Code Of Conduct Forum Rules

We hope that members will find support, advice, humour and friendly conversation here. To ensure that happens smoothly, we have created a brief code of conduct for members. It's not long and rambling, so please take time to read it, before posting.

Separated Dads Forum Code of Conduct

(1) Language/Defamatory Remarks

Do not post anything that could be construed as racist, homophobic, sexist, harassment, pornographic or abusive.

Anybody can read this forum, so please do not use sexually explicit language or swear words

(2) Personal Information

Please do not use names in your posts (e.g. those of spouses, professionals, ex partners, children etc); you may be putting other people and yourself at risk by doing so. If you have an ongoing court case or dispute, anything you say that identifies you or other the parties may also be prejudicial to the process and might influence your desired outcome. Our moderators will remove or edit posts deemed to identify a person or their children.

(3) Personal Attacks

Do not make personal attacks on other forum members.

If another discussion member makes a personal/abusive remark directed at you, do not respond with a similar attack of your own. Contact the administrator or a moderator.

(4) Links/Self Advertising

Posts will be removed if we feel a link or comment has been posted as a means of self advertising, self promotion, or which we consider to be spam.

Only post links/urls which are on topic and of use to other forum members.

(5) Discussion Topics

Only post a thread once, under the appropriate forum topic. Duplicate threads will be removed. Please keep discussions on topic. If you want to talk about something that is not relevant to the current thread, create a new one.

Take me to The Separated Dads Forum

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
[Add a Comment]
I signed with the registrar at the birth of my daughter in 2014. does this automatically give me parental responsibility? my ex (we never married) seems to be calling all the shots and im getting frustrated without much contact.
BEEJ - 19-Nov-18 @ 7:26 PM
Looking for input. Originally when my ex and I split I had contact with my daughter every Wednesday night as Well as every second weekend from the Friday till the Sunday. She moved away to an area which I roughly a 40 minute drive away but I do not drive so is even longer on public transport. Once she moved there I lost the Wednesday due to the distance issue but the every second weekend continued on the basis she brought my daughter through to me on the Friday and I took her home on the Sunday. This worked out fine as my new partner was available to give me a lift on Sundays. My ex is now saying she cannot bring her on a Friday as it is too much for her as she wants a social life and also has her other 3 kids to think about. If I was to pick up my 6 year old daughter it would mean 2 trains and a bus to where she stays and the same journey back on the Friday after I finish workI would also have to take my other 11 year old daughter on that journey and would not be home till after 9pm at night so effectively losing another night with my six year old as well as my 11 year old. My ex says if I want to keep seeing my daughter I have to go and get her and is not changing her mind at all. I feel I have the better case in the interest of the child but because she is the mother I feel if I take her to court it will go in her favour and I will end up losing another night of contact with my daughter and be left with only every second Saturday and Sunday. Any opinions appreciated.
Frustrateddad - 29-Oct-18 @ 5:49 PM
My new partner has been a victim of DV for years - He is currently trying to get custody of his two girls from his ex ( who has a 15yo son who is a known to police for having child porn on his phone - he is also a known drug user & trouble maker ) whom lied to get a ex mol against my partner. My Partners Ex has taken out so many injunctions against him so he is unable to return home and collect his belongings, he literally has the clothes he left the house with when he was falsely arrested for DV - He tried to tell the policeman that it was in fact him that was the victim - but - in the police's actual words - " Sorry mate - she got in first " Statements have been written against my partner who has actual evidence proving that everything she is saying is a lie - Hard evidence available but no-body - inc the police - will look at it ! ... There are so many incident reports, and even complaints about the complaints lady - this stuff couldn't be written about, its ridiculous. The woman is a textbook narcissist whom controls with the threat of withdrawal or rage ... My partner is loving and attentive and without a doubt not the violent man she has persuaded everyone he is ... But - Being of stocky muscly build and tattooed - he is the stereotypical 'Thug' !!!! His ex has managed to alienate his entire village & friends and he now has actually had to flee 100 miles away for his own safety ( as she was intimidating and harassing him at every turn - he has a non mol on her stating that she ( or any third parties ) is not allowed to contact him - which she is still doing ) Anyway - he has a court order affirming contact every other weekend until court hears the evidence he has as to why he wants and in fact needs, the girls in his care - ( Social workers are at present carrying out a section 37 report ) The girls have been with us twice now and have loved every minute - yet on their return to the mother they scream and shake and PLEAD with their father not to return them - This is heart breaking. When in the mothers care the girls forced to listen to foul language, threats, physical and mental abuse and are often left to their own devices - they have even been bribed with a 'kitten' if they say they want to 'stay with mummy' to the social worker .... Video evidence taken..... They have also had all devices taken away so they are now no longer able to contact " daddy " at all - which they were doing every night - often till very late - He would often Face time for a few hours and then eventually put them to bed - from 100 miles away - via face time - while his ex was on the phone to her new bf - she had no idea what the girls were doing all this time. This is a very short history !!! ......... Now - His ex has made up crime numbers and basically lied to everyone again to keep the girls off school - to stop my partner from having them on his weekend - BUT - we have overturned this and shown it to be total fabrication - Social workers
Peggatypawz - 21-Sep-18 @ 1:34 PM
I will kepp this short as possible. 1. Court order set up in 2012, my daughter stayed with me and my dad Friday to Monday every week. 2. I used to have a night out on a Saturday 2-3 times a month, which my daughter did not mind but my ex (bpd) would not like this, so every time I had a night out on the weekend she would drop my daughter off for an extra day during midweek.(which i did not mind)She would tell my daughter im not allowed to leave her with my dad to go out. 3. In January 2017 I Introduced my girlfriend (who I met 3 months previous)to my daughter, they got on fine. The following week my daughter was off to my girlfriend. When I asked her what was wrong my daughter said that my ex had said my girlfriend broke mammy and daddys marriage up. 4. A week later, My ex bought my daughter a puppy, and spoilt her with toys ect (just after xmas) 5. My ex then did the following things which are not true – Sent a Facebook message to my girlfriends ex telling him I was a child abuser and to watch his son with me. Took all my daughters savings money out of her account which my parents give to my daughter since she was born and told her I did it, also posted it all over Facebook so everyone was slandering me. 6. Told my daughter that I prefered my girlfriends son than my daughter. Also took him on holiday. 7. Contact stopped in May 2017, my daughter told me that mam has changed her job to have my daughter on weekends and my ex would not be happy if she came with me on weekends now. 7. My daughter does not want contact because I go out and leave her on a Saturday night sometimes, my ex has steered my daughter to a view of mother.I cant prove it but I am 99% sure the ex has told my daughter that because she has a dog now, if she had contact with me the dog would have to be sold. 8 On my previous weekend contact with my daughter, on her ipad there are whattsapp messages between my ex and my daughter on a number of occasions, where my ex is telling my daughter to come home as I should not have left her with my dad, also emotional blackmailing her at times. I have been in the court process since August 2017 Cafcas involved A very long psychologist report (she states mother has steered daughter views to that of mother, and ceasing contact with father would be emotionally dentrimantal to my daughter Therapy sessions for me and ex I have wrote a letter of appology to my daughter for leaving her occasionally to go out. My ex was told to promote contact by therapist and Cafcass, but is doing the opposite by posting things on Facebook which my daughter can see. My ex is posting things like – so proud of my daughter she is one tough cookie, the day she seen Cafcass – Deadbeat Dads / I can say sorry a million times but it wont make a difference ect (my daughter is seeing this as she is on Facebook) and is ailienating her from me. I was supposed to see my daughter today at the Cafcass offices but Cafcass just phoned me to say she is not
8706griff - 5-Sep-18 @ 4:01 PM
Charlie - Your Question:
Many thks for response another ? If she was remarried and died god forbib Do I need something in place so son automatically comes to me or does my son remain with stranger?or is it that another battle in court? Thanks charlie

Our Response:
If you have parental responsibility of your child, then you would have the power to request your child lives with you, should anything happen to your ex. It only becomes a potential court battle if your ex has left a clause in her will requesting that your child is looked after by another member of the family or a step-parent (if your child has siblings who are the biological children of the step-parent and your ex).
SeparatedDads - 13-Aug-18 @ 11:56 AM
Many thks for response another ? If she was remarried and died god forbib Do I need something in place so son automatically comes to me or does my son remain with stranger?or is it that another battle in court? Thanks charlie
Charlie - 12-Aug-18 @ 6:41 AM
Charlie - Your Question:
Hi all am very confused.need advice support. Couple questions. Recently separated. If ex were to marry ,move in new partner, does he gain automatic responsibility? Me as biological father with already strong bond and shared parental responsibility, birth certified not by marriage. Legally wat can I do to remain chief decision maker if anything were to happen to ex.As far as iam concerned fathering of our son is my role mine alone and not some jobseeker!.I believe joint custody would give me this ??? Many thks Charlie

Our Response:
You will still have parental responsibility of your child if another man moves in. This means you are the registered father of your child and can make certain decisions. However, many people live in step-families where another parent plays a role and there is little you can do to prevent this.
SeparatedDads - 10-Aug-18 @ 12:35 PM
Hi all am very confused.need advice support. Couple questions. Recently separated. If ex were to marry ,move in new partner, does he gain automatic responsibility?. Me as biological father with already strong bond and shared parental responsibility, birth certified not by marriage. Legally wat can I do to remain chief decision maker if anything were to happen to ex.As far as iam concerned fathering of our sonis my role mine alone and not some jobseeker!.I believe joint custody would give me this ???. Many thks Charlie
Charlie - 8-Aug-18 @ 7:36 PM
Tony - Your Question:
Hello I am trying to register for the forum but after I register it says We thing you are a spammer please contact admin if this is wrong ?Can you please register me Thanks Tony

Our Response:
You would have to email via the contact tab on the forum to request this with your preferred username. Unfortunately, we cannot register you via this site.
SeparatedDads - 19-Jul-18 @ 10:14 AM
Hello I am trying to register for the forum but after I register it says We thing you are a spammer please contact admin if this is wrong ? Can you please register me Thanks Tony
Tony - 18-Jul-18 @ 10:22 AM
Hello, I've tried registering to the forum however I get the message that I am banned due to spamming, I have never spammed the site.I think the site may have been hacked so new members are not allowed
Gman - 16-Jul-18 @ 10:08 AM
MD - Your Question:
Hi I need some advice please, I was in a relationship with a married lady who is still with her husband and they have two child together, she recently became pregnant with me while with her husband, I told her that she should leave her husband and I will marry her, she refused and she is telling me that she will raise my child with her husband, she will also tell him that that's his child, but she will allow me to see the child but she will never tell the child that I am the father. But I don't want to do that, If it's my child I want to be there with him when he is born also I want him to know that I am the father of him, I don't her husband to know or think it his child.I told her to come to an agreement, she refused and said if I interfere she will call the police on me.Please can someone one tell me what can I do and what rights do I have over this child as I don't want my child to call someone else dad.Thanks MD

Our Response:
It is deemed fraudulent to register another man on the birth certificate as the father, if the man is not the biological father. However, if this lady wishes to continue to do this, you should not challenge the lady directly but challenge the matter through court (once the child is born). If you challenge the lady directly and the police get involved it could hamper future access to your child. You may wish to seek legal advice regarding what your best options are under the current circumstances.
SeparatedDads - 15-Jun-18 @ 3:11 PM
Hi I need some advice please, I was in a relationship with a married lady who is still with her husband and they have two child together, she recently became pregnant with me while with her husband, I told her that she should leave her husband and I will marry her, she refused and she is telling me that she will raise my child with her husband, she will also tell him that that's his child, but she will allow me to see the child but she will never tell the child that I am the father. But I don't want to do that, If it's my child I want to be there with him when he is born also I want him to know that I am the father of him, i don't her husband to know or think it his child. I told her to come to an agreement, she refused and said if I interfere she will call the police on me. Please can someone one tell me what can I do and what rights do I have over this child as I don't want my child to call someone else dad. Thanks MD
MD - 15-Jun-18 @ 1:52 AM
Si - Your Question:
Hi fellas! I'm new to this CSA and separated dad stuff and have a few things to ask so please bare with me, it's all come at once and I'm overwhelmed.I just received a 'nice' letter from the CSA this morning. First of all, my wife and I separated last September, I have since offered to provide her with money for our 4 children, (one who is 18 this August) but she refused saying she don't need anything from me. Now I get this?! Second, it says I have to pay £1908.95 per year, yet I'm on a minimum wage job only working 20 hours per week.My monthly income before tax and NI is very low, around £626, if I'm right, then the CSA expect me to pay about £160ish per month on top of my living outgoings. Is this correct or do I need the amount adjusted? Do the CSA take into account fathers living expenses. Surely the CSA can't make a fair and accurate sum for dads to pay without assessing our living costs? Plus, very unexpected but it's happened, I am in a new relationship and my current partner and I are having a baby due this October. How does this affect the rate I pay? Also, my ex is a difficult woman, she is very spiteful and has been causing trouble over last few months with the agenda of splitting me and my partner up. She did at one point suddenly up and left the area with our kids with the intention of living there but without informing me, she has since returned because I got child services involved (long story) but the main thing is I would like to have my children sleep over at least one night per week but she won't allow it. I know the CSA reduce the rate dads pay if kids stay over, but what if it's the mother who doesn't allow this? It's very very unfair that any father pays full amount because they don't have their kids over because of their ex's decision to not allow this.does this seem fair? Also, can my ex stop me from introducing my children to my current partner? Please help.

Our Response:
All non-resident parents are responsible for supporting their children on a day-to-day basis. On the basic rate, if you’re paying for one child, you’ll pay 12% of your gross weekly income, two children, you’ll pay 16% of your gross weekly income. If you have three or more children, you’ll pay 19% of your gross weekly income, you can see more via the link here, which will tell you all you need to know regarding your other questions also. CMS doesn't take into account your living expenses, the calculation is set purely on your gross weekly income. If CMS set the rate to take into account the non-resident parent's living expenses, you can image that many non-resident parents would bump their living expenses up to avoid paying. If the mother doesn't allow you to have your children overnight, then if you have been in your children's lives to date you can suggest mediation as a way of trying to resolve these issues out of court, please see link here . If your ex doesn't comply, then you can challenge this through court, please see link here. If you are on a low income, you may get a reduction in court fees and if you cannot afford legal representation, you can self-litigate, please see link here. Our Separated Dads forum may also help if you need further advice.
SeparatedDads - 7-Jun-18 @ 9:42 AM
Hi fellas! I'm new to this CSA and separated dad stuff and have a few things to ask so please bare with me, it's all come at once and I'm overwhelmed...I just received a 'nice' letter from the CSA this morning. First of all, my wife and I separated last September, I have since offered to provide her with money for our 4 children, (one who is 18 this August) but she refused saying she don't need anything from me. Now I get this?! Second, it says I have to pay £1908.95 per year, yet I'm on a minimum wage job only working 20 hours per week...My monthly income before tax and NI is very low, around £626, if I'm right, then the CSA expect me to pay about £160ish per month on top of my living outgoings. Is this correct or do I need the amount adjusted? Do the CSA take into account fathers living expenses. Surely the CSA can't make a fair and accurate sum for dads to pay without assessing our living costs? Plus, very unexpected but it's happened, I am in a new relationship and my current partner and I are having a baby due this October. How does this affect the rate I pay? Also, my ex is a difficult woman, she is very spiteful and has been causing trouble over last few months with the agenda of splitting me and my partner up. She did at one point suddenly up and left the area with our kids with the intention of living there but without informing me, she has since returned because I got child services involved (long story) but the main thing is I would like to have my children sleep over at least one night per week but she won't allow it. I know the CSA reduce the rate dads pay if kids stay over, but what if it's the mother who doesn't allow this? It's very very unfair that any father pays full amount because they don't have their kids over because of their ex's decision to not allow this...does this seem fair? Also, can my ex stop me from introducing my children to my current partner? Please help..
Si - 6-Jun-18 @ 2:46 PM
AK - Your Question:
Hi. I need some advise. My wife ( still legal) she is treating me with divorce. It's already 6month when we are not talking , she sleeps in separate room in our house that we own together under shared ownership. I offers her to go and discuss our options via mediation, but today she went to see a solicitor.I need an advise on below before I agree or get solicitor involved.* If we sell house before we split money can my deposit returned to me? ( it's a gift from my parents)*Money from the sale of house is used to cover the debts that we had during our marriage before we split profit.*She is treating me ( I am biological father of one child, other child is from her second marriage he is 13yrold) what she will claim child support for non biological child untill he will reach 18year old. ( I will support him anyway but without a treat).*She wants 70% of income from the sale of the house! Is it possible? I do agree 50/50 after our joint debts are covered.* My biological son (7years old) surname is under mother's name. She is treating not to give my surname until she will get what's she want.(everything as per above)*She said I may be evicted from house what we both have mortgage for until my son will reach 18year old. And will need to pay for my mortgage.Please advise before I have legal help.Thank you

Our Response:
If you have a child, decisions will always be made regarding what is in the best interests of your child regardless of what you put into the house financially prior to marriage. If the money you put into the house was a loan and you can prove it was a loan, then your parents may be reimbursed their money. However, if your wife is the primary carer of your child, then a court can allow her to remain in the house until your child leaves full-time education. If you can agree via mediation, putting the welfare of your child first, then this will serve you better. You are not financially responsible for your wife's child. You have two options if you cannot agree between yourselves, mediation and court. If the matter goes to court, then this will cost and the court will base the financial split on the basis of each other's (and your child's) financial needs. In this case, you may wish to seek legal advice.
SeparatedDads - 5-Jun-18 @ 1:46 PM
Hi. I need some advise. My wife ( still legal) she is treating me with divorce. It's already 6month when we are not talking , she sleeps in separate room in our house that we own together under shared ownership. I offers her to go and discuss our options via mediation, but today she went to see a solicitor. I need an advise on below before I agree or get solicitor involved. * If we sell house before we split money can my deposit returned to me? ( it's a gift from my parents) *Money from the sale of house is used to cover the debts that we had during our marriage before we split profit. *She is treating me ( I am biological father of one child, other child is from her second marriage he is 13yrold) what she will claim child support for non biological child untill he will reach 18year old. ( I will support him anyway but without a treat). *She wants 70% of income from the sale of the house! Is it possible? I do agree 50/50 after our joint debts are covered. * My biological son (7years old) surname is under mother's name. She is treating not to give my surname until she will get what's she want.(everything as perabove) *She said I may be evicted from house what we both have mortgage for until my son will reach 18year old. And will need to pay for my mortgage. Please advise before I have legal help. Thank you
AK - 4-Jun-18 @ 7:36 PM
Bruce - Your Question:
Hi, my son is just finishing his A levels, he turned 19 in Feb 2018 and I have heard that he will be going to some sort of music college to further his education. I have always consistently paid maintenance and am continuing to do so but I am unclear on when I am ok to stop payments. Can someone help with this please? I have read guidelines on several websites but am not absolutely sure of the right thing to do and as the initial break up was extremely acrimonious (so much so that I have not been able to see my son for 6 years) I would not like to do anything that wasn't correct. Many thanks

Our Response:
Once eligibility by the resident parent to claim child benefit stops, then so do child maintenance payments. You can see more via the link here, which should tell you all you need to know.
SeparatedDads - 4-Jun-18 @ 2:03 PM
Hi, my son is just finishing his A levels, he turned 19 in Feb 2018 and I have heard that he will be going to some sort of music college to further his education.I have always consistently paid maintenance and am continuing to do so but I am unclear on when I am ok to stop payments.Can someone help with this please?I have read guidelines on several websites but am not absolutely sure of the right thing to do and as the initial break up was extremely acrimonious (so much so that I have not been able to see my son for 6 years) I would not like to do anything that wasn't correct.Many thanks
Bruce - 2-Jun-18 @ 1:48 PM
algeth - Your Question:
Hi, me & my ex-partner split up a few years ago, (we werent married & my name is on his birth certificate) & we got a 4 year old son together, I use to have him every tuesday & thursday nights as well as every other w-end, my ex told me she made an appointment for mediation but without knowing what mediation was at 1st (i thought it was a 3rd party telling us about when I can & cant see my son, until I read up about it) she cancelled mediation by then, I took my son to school on the friday after having him on the thur night ,& without warning she turned up at the school about 10-10.30 & told school its compasionate leave, but the truth was that she got the train to her boyfriends in scotland, (im in wales) I kept on asking her when they are back & her reply was she on holiday & then kept saying "dont know yet" & now I have discovered she has moved him into a school in scotland.(i heard they got different laws up there!!?) she told me there nothing I can do & I can have him school holidays & the odd w-end - when its teacher training day. also she has been known as a compulsive liar (her family said that to which I know is true) & say things for her own benefit, social services been involved about 2-3 times but every time she say that s services are happy & no further action taken, any help wold be very much appreciated, thanks in advance :)

Our Response:
If your ex has moved out of the area without your consent (if you have PR, then your ex has to request your consent), then you can apply directly for a court order, please see link here. If you wish to pursue the matter, then court is your only recourse. The court can force a parent to move back with the child, if they think the resident parent has moved deliberately. Or they can organise a court order, so that your ex would have to keep to the access arrangements decided on by a judge.
SeparatedDads - 1-Jun-18 @ 3:41 PM
hi, me & my ex-partner split up a few years ago, (we werent married & my name is on his birth certificate) & we got a 4 year old son together, i use to have him every tuesday & thursday nights as well as every other w-end, my ex told me she made an appointment for mediation but without knowing what mediation was at 1st (i thought it was a 3rd party telling us about when i can & cant see my son, until i read up about it) she cancelled mediation by then, i took my son to school on the friday after having him on the thur night ,& without warning she turned up at the school about 10-10.30 & told school its compasionate leave, but the truth was that she got the train to her boyfriends in scotland, (im in wales) i kept on asking her when they are back & her reply was she on holiday & then kept saying "dont know yet" & now i have discovered she has moved him into a school in scotland.(i heard they got different laws up there!!?) she told me there nothing i can do & i can have him school holidays & the odd w-end- when its teacher trainingday. also she has been known as a compulsive liar (her family said that to which i know is true) & say things for her own benefit, social services been involved about 2-3 times but every time she say that s services are happy & no further action taken,any help wold be very much appreciated, thanks in advance :)
algeth - 1-Jun-18 @ 9:17 AM
concerned nan - Your Question:
Hi im in desperate need of help my son has 2 children and has been having his children every weekend for last couple of years the mum had another relationship there has been issues with her not taking kids to school not providing enough food her son molesting on of the other children plus other issues over last 2 years children have been on high risk level 4 with no changes anyway we had a meeting with social services last tuesday for updates as my son rang to pick his kids friday as usual had no answer all weekend so contacted social services to express concerns only to be told they have moved her and her 6 children to refuge due to domestic violence issues with her ex partner my son is absolutly devastated whats his rights on protecting his children and seeing them we have another emergency meeting monday with social services we dont know were we stand can any one please help we are very desperate for a life line here

Our Response:
Hopefully, once the child's mother has recovered from her ordeal your son's access will get back on track. The best option your son has is to try to support his ex and his kids in this situation and be on hand for any meetings with social services. This will help to see where he can best help out. It's not as though access is being refused to him, it's purely that his children's mother has found herself in a difficult situation. Your son will have a recourse to apply to court for a child arrangement order if his ex refuses access, please see link here . It seems in this case a bit of patience and support may work better in this particular case, unless of course he wishes to apply for residency through the courts. If so, then he may wish to seek some legal advice.
SeparatedDads - 19-Apr-18 @ 2:13 PM
hi im in desperate need of help my son has 2 children and has been having his children every weekend for last couple of yearsthe mum had another relationship there has been issues with her not taking kids to school not providing enough food her son molesting on of the other children plus other issues over last 2 years children have been on high risk level 4 with no changes anyway we had a meeting with social services last tuesday for updates as my son rang to pick his kids friday as usual had no answer all weekend so contacted social services to express concerns only to be told they have moved her and her 6 children to refuge due to domestic violence issues with her ex partner my son is absolutly devastated whats his rights on protecting his children and seeing them we have another emergency meeting monday with social services we dont know were we stand can any one please help we are very desperate for a life line here
concerned nan - 17-Apr-18 @ 3:14 PM
Jupiter111 - Your Question:
Hi,My son no longer wants to be with his wife but is in despair as to where he will stand with the children and finances. He is worried that he will not be allowed to see his children and that his wife will make any visits under her terms.They have a mortgage, would he have to pay all of the monthly payment, and the council tax, bills etc, she does not work as the children are young, would she have to claim benefit to live. We just don't know where he will stand on any of this and don't know where else to look for advice.Thank you

Our Response:
The CAB link here gives a full and comprehensive answer to your question. In addition, yes your son would have to pay child maintenance and towards the mortgage as he is contracted to pay. Yes, his wife should receive benefits such as universal credit if she is the primary carer of the children. Mediation is a good thing to consider prior to leaving as it can help sort out finances and child access, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 17-Apr-18 @ 12:40 PM
Hi, My son no longer wants to be with his wife but is in despair as to where he will stand with the children and finances.He is worried that he will not be allowed to see his children and that his wife will make any visits under her terms. They have a mortgage, would he have to pay all of the monthly payment, and the council tax, bills etc, she does not work as the children are young, would she have to claim benefit to live.We just don't know where he will stand on any of this and don't know where else to look for advice. Thank you
Jupiter111 - 16-Apr-18 @ 9:49 PM
NSC - Your Question:
Hello,Just recently divorced after 5 years separation. My ex now wishes to take me to court. Can anyone recommend a lawyer in the Guildford area that specialises in Single Dads representation?

Our Response:
Before an application to court will be permitted, you and your ex may have to consider mediation first. Please see link here. We cannot recommend solicitors directly. You may wish to get more advise via the Separated Dads Forum.
SeparatedDads - 5-Apr-18 @ 1:48 PM
Hello, Just recently divorced after 5 years separation. My ex now wishes to take me to court. Can anyone recommend a lawyer in the Guildford area that specialises in Single Dads representation?
NSC - 1-Apr-18 @ 11:22 AM
Ren - Your Question:
Hi. just would like to know if its unreasonable of me to ask my ex to have the children for 1 weekend of the year. I have the boys every weekend from Friday after school til they go back to school on a Monday however one weekend I will not be able to have them and have given my ex 4 months notice of when I can't have them and it seems to be a big issue. I'd like your comments please.

Our Response:
Much depends whether you have a court order in place or not, please see link here . If you don't have a court order in place, then you would have to agree mutually, or perhaps suggest mediation to your ex as a way to resolve such issues, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 22-Mar-18 @ 10:04 AM
hi. just would like to know if its unreasonable of me to ask my ex to have the children for 1 weekend of the year. I have the boys every weekend from Friday after school til they go back to school on aMonday however one weekend I will not be able to have them and have given my ex 4 months notice of when I can't have them and it seems to be a big issue . i'd like your comments please.
Ren - 21-Mar-18 @ 4:28 PM
Jamalsjos - Your Question:
Hi, I have been separated for a year and I am going through a really tough divorce, I have two boys age 8 & 5 who I miss terribly, I have a court arrangement to see my boys Tuesday over night and every other weekend but I would like to see the more, my wife never lets me look after them when she needs a sitter and uses her elderly unwell parents both in there 80s. I have had to block my wife from all electrical divices as she bombards me with abusive messages. I am worn out and missing my boys like crazy. Any advice or tips would be appreciated

Our Response:
Unfortunately, if you have a court order for access you have to keep to the terms of the court order.
SeparatedDads - 19-Mar-18 @ 1:54 PM
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice...
Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Latest Comments
  • Sharnai
    Re: Being Falsely Accused of Child Abuse
    Thursday evening me and my boyfriend had a argument I called the police so they could diffuse the situation Friday…
    16 December 2018
  • Ricky
    Re: Contact Orders: the Process
    Hey my name is Ricky. I have a daughter 18 months old. My daughter was born while I was in America at my grandmother and uncle…
    16 December 2018
  • Mike
    Re: Can My Ex Change My Children's Names?
    Hi there I not sure where I stand on this I have 2 son's with my ex partner. And we separated over 18 months ago. And…
    16 December 2018
  • Chan
    Re: After the Initial Court Order
    Hi I need advise my partner had his son who is 7 literally 50/50 since they split every tues night Thursday night and every other…
    15 December 2018
  • Chan
    Re: After the Initial Court Order
    Hi I need advise my partner had his son who is 7 literally 50/50 since they split every tues night Thursday night and every other…
    15 December 2018
  • Chan
    Re: After the Initial Court Order
    Hi I need advise my partner had his son who is 7 literally 50/50 since they split every tues night Thursday night and every other…
    15 December 2018
  • Chan
    Re: After the Initial Court Order
    Hi I need advise my partner had his son who is 7 literally 50/50 since they split every tues night Thursday night and every other…
    15 December 2018
  • Chan
    Re: After the Initial Court Order
    Hi I need advise my partner had his son who is 7 literally 50/50 since they split every tues night Thursday night and every other…
    15 December 2018
  • Chan
    Re: After the Initial Court Order
    Hi I need advise my partner had his son who is 7 literally 50/50 since they split every tues night Thursday night and every other…
    15 December 2018
  • Lion
    Re: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access
    I left my X in 2015 and my children 16 and 13 were happy to see me. As the months went on, the carpet was well and…
    15 December 2018