Your Rights as a Separated Father

When you’ve split up with your ex it’s important to know just exactly what your rights and responsibilities are regarding your children. The most important thing is to determine whether you’re financially responsible for the kids. In the case of married couples, you’re responsible for any children born in wedlock.

Unmarried Couples

In general terms, the mother is deemed to have “parental responsibility” for her children in an unmarried couple. However, there are exceptions. You also have parental responsibility if:

• The child’s birth was registered after December 1st, 2003 and your name is on the certificate as the father.

• If the child was born before that time with no father listed on the birth certificate, but the birth was later re-registered with you named as the father.

• If you and the child’s mother sign a Parental Responsibility Agreement.

• If you’re given a parental responsibility order by the court, or a Residence Order for the child to live with you.

Same Sex Couples

With same sex couples, after a civil partnership, you have parental responsibility if you have a parental responsibility agreement or a parental responsibility order from the court.

What Parental Responsibility Means

If you have parental responsibility, you have a say in the upbringing of your children, even if they don’t live with you any more. However, this doesn’t apply to the general, day-to-day life of your children; that will lie with the mother if they live with her. But in other questions – religion, upbringing, medical treatment, and so on – you have the same rights in making decisions as the mother.

If you’ve been part of a couple where the children are yours and you don’t have parental responsibility, you can still apply to court for certain types of orders, mostly Contact Orders to see the children, but even for a Residence Order to have the children live with you (if granted, you’ll then have parental responsibility).

Note that if your former partner has a Residence Order, she can take your children abroad for up to a month without your consent. However, if the trip is longer, or she plans on moving abroad with the children, she will need the consent of both you and anyone else who has parental responsibility for the children. However, if you wish to take your children abroad for a holiday, it’s a tougher issue, and legally you’re advised to have her agreement first (you should obtain it in writing).

Parental responsibility also means you have the duty to support your children financially. This is done through the Child Support Agency. In general terms you’ll pay 15% of your net income for one child, 20% for two and 25% for three children. However, there are adjustments, depending on how much time the children spend with you. If you move abroad, support will be done through the court rather than the CSA.

When Does Parental Responsibility End

Your parental responsibility to your children ends when they turn 18 and become legal adults. However, if they’re over 16 and marry, it ends with the marriage. If you’ve obtained parental responsibility through a Residence Order, though, and that Residence Order changes, you don’t lose parental responsibility.

You should be aware that if you weren’t married to the mother of your children, you’re on slightly trickier ground, even if you have your name on the birth certificate or a parental responsibility agreement or order. In that case any other person with parental responsibility can apply to court to have your parental responsibility ended. Even your children can do that, if they acquire permission from the court.