Is My Ex Allowed To Remove Our Son From School to Go on Holiday?
Q.
Can my ex-wife take our son out of school to go on holiday in term time? Or would this be a breach of the terms of our divorce?
She told me she can do as she wants and I can't stop her. I found a holiday to the same resort in half term for similar money but she is just having none of it. If she goes it means our son will get one week at school in April and miss the first week in May. She has told me to seek legal advice if I don't like it as she is going anyway.
What do I do? Any advice would be great
A.
It can be very frustrating when you are separated from your child and their mother makes decisions that you do not agree with. Trying to work through these issues in an amicable way is often difficult and you can end up feeling pushed out and ignored.
As a parent, you do have a legal right to make decisions that influence the upbringing of your child and will have an impact on their lives. However, if your child lives with your ex-wife, then she has the responsibility of making decisions that relate to your child’s everyday life.
Unless taking your child out of school is going to have a major impact on his education, then this will be counted as an ‘everyday decision’. You do not say how old your son is but if he is in the middle of studying for his GCSEs or A-levels, you may have more of a case against this decision, or if he will be spending an extended time away from school.
It is unfair of your wife to say that you must seek legal action to change her decision – and in this case is likely to have any effect. What you do need to do is find a way for you and your ex to communicate more effectively (read our article Developing An Amicable Relationship With Your Ex on this site). You have every right to have concerns over your son’s upbringing and it is good that you want to be as involved as possible.
Although it may feel as though your ex is sticking to her point of view just to spite you, it is worth trying to see it form her point of view. She probably genuinely believes that a small amount of time away from school will not harm your son’s education. There is often a lot of resentment between ex-partners and it is easy for this to play itself out in the decision making process.
Perhaps you and your ex could consider Using Mediation so that you can voice your feelings in a neutral environment. A counsellor can help you find a way to work together and be more considerate of each other’s opinions.
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