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Child Support Issues: Letter Templates

By: Abigail Taylor - Updated: 25 Jan 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Letter Template Child Support

The Child Maintenance and Enforcement Commission is the governing organisation for all matter relating to child support (known until recently as the CSA). The rules are set to change slightly but child support itself is around to stay and there will always be a need for an organisation to regulate and administer payment collections. With that in mind we have produced a series of letter templates to accompany our guide to child support. The letters are self explanatory, just fill in your own details. The letter templates are as follows:

  1. Denying or questioning paternity of a child
  2. Disputing calculations made by the child support agency or your ex
  3. Requesting an end date for payments
  4. Asking for a breakdown of calculations
  5. Explaining about extenuating circumstances (rendering you unable to pay as much)
  6. Explaining a change in your circumstances

1. Letter denying or questioning paternity

24 Feb 2018

Dear Sirs,

RE: Case reference number [enter case number on top of letters]

I am writing in relation to the letter you sent me stating that I owe child maintenance in relation to [child's name and date of birth].

I deny / am unsure that I am the father of this child and so do not owe any child support.

The courts have not adjudicated on this matter and I was not married to the child's mother at any point between the child's conception and birth. I am willing to take a DNA test to settle the issue.

Please contact me within 7 working days to acknowledge receipt of this letter and detailing how the matter will proceed.

Yours faithfully,

[your signature]

[your name]

2. Letter disputing calculations

24 Feb 2018

Dear Sirs,

RE: Case reference number [enter case number on top of letters]

I am writing to dispute the amount of child maintenance you stated I owe in your letter dated [enter date of letter stating amount you owe which you dispute]. In this letter you calculated my child maintenance at [amount].

I dispute this amount and calculate that my child maintenance amount should be [amount].

My calculation is based upon my net income at [amount] and paying for [number] children:

[child A name and date of birth]
[child B name and date of birth]

I am entitled to the following exemptions / discounts:

  • I am a student at [name of college / university].
  • I am a serving prisoner at [name of prison].
  • I am aged 16 or under
  • I have shared care of the above named children for [number] days / month.
  • I have [number] other children living with me - [name and date of birth of other children].

Please contact me within 7 working days if you dispute my calculated amount of child support.

Yours faithfully,

[your signature]

[your name]

3. Letter about payment end date

24 Feb 2018

Dear Sirs,

RE: Case reference number [enter case number on top of letters]

I am writing to enquire when my child maintenance payments will stop.

I currently pay for [child A and date of birth]
and
[child B and date of birth].

I calculate that they will turn 16 years old on [date] and [date].

I am not aware that they will continue to study full-time after this date / I anticipate that they will continue to study full-time until [date] and [date].

Please contact me within 7 working days to let me know when my payments in relation to each child will stop.

Yours faithfully,

[your signature]

[your name]

4. Letter asking for calculation details

24 Feb 2018

Dear Sirs,

RE: Case reference number [enter case number on top of letters]

I am writing to request a breakdown of your calculation which results in me owing [amount] in child maintenance in relation to [child A and date of birth] and [child B and date of birth].

Please outline what you consider to be my net income, any exemptions or discounts I have been awarded, the number of days you consider me to have joint care of my children and any other children living with me included in the calculation.

Please provide the above information within 7 working days so that I can review your calculations to see why you consider that I owe [amount] in child maintenance.

Yours faithfully,

[your signature]

[your name]

5. Letter indicating extenuating circumstances

24 Feb 2018

Dear Sirs,

RE: Case reference number [enter case number on top of letters]

I am writing to tell you about a change in my circumstances. I now have extenuating circumstances which will affect my child maintenance payments.

My new circumstances are [enter brief details of extenuating circumstances - e.g. illness]. This means that I have less / no income available to pay child maintenance and my current net income is [amount].

I anticipate that my extenuating circumstances will last [amount of time / for the foreseeable future]. I will be able to continue payment of child maintenance on [date] / I am unsure when I will be able to continue paying child maintenance.

Please contact me within 7 working to discuss my new circumstances and how they will affect my child maintenance payments.

Yours faithfully,

[your signature]

[your name]

6. Letter about a change of circumstances

24 Feb 2018

Dear Sirs,

RE: Case reference number [enter case number on top of letters]

I am writing to tell you about a change in my circumstances which will affect the amount of child maintenance I pay.

My net income is now [amount] as I have changed job / my pay has changed. I am now entitled to the following exemptions / discounts:

  • I am a student at [name of college / university].
  • I am a serving prisoner at [name of prison].
  • I am aged 16 / 17 and receive income support / job seekers allowance.
  • I have shared care of the above named children for [number] days / month.
  • I have [number] other children living with me - [name and date of birth of other children].

Please contact me within 7 working days if you dispute / require any further information on my new circumstances.

Yours faithfully,

[your signature]

[your name]

If there you'd like to know more about child support take a look at: Child Support Payments: A Downloadable Detailed Guide.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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[Add a Comment]
Bill - Your Question:
I had a visit from bailiffs today looking for nearly £4,000 they claim I owe the CSA. The CSA have never contacted me and I do not have a reference number of any sort or any idea of why they are chasing me this way. The bailiff was helpful enough to leave their address for me but that was it - he intends to come back to remove what little goods I have if I do not pay in 48 hours. I have written to them just now and emailed on their website to try to find out what this is about. I have had no contact at all with them other than this. How do they feel they can simply send a bailiff out of the blue and ask for £4,000 without even talking to me, asking what I earn, if I am the father of whatever child they are claiming for - or if there is any agreement already in place. I am astounded they can do this and I believe it is illegal - can anyone recommend a good solicitor for this in Sussex please?

Our Response:
Both parents are legally responsible for financially supporting any children. If you had children, or a child and you are not living with the child, then you might have been aware of this, as it affects every non-resident parent in the UK. If you were unaware you have fathered a child and have never received any correspondence, you may be able to have the order set aside, please see link here. You really need to speak directly to CMS/CSA, please see link here . Unfortunately, we cannot recommend a solicitor as we cannot be seen to be biased.
SeparatedDads - 26-Jan-18 @ 9:31 AM
I had a visit from bailiffs today looking for nearly £4,000 they claim I owe the CSA. The CSA have never contacted me and I do not have a reference number of any sort or any idea of why they are chasing me this way. The bailiff was helpful enough to leave their address for me but that was it - he intends to come back to remove what little goods I have if I do not pay in 48 hours. I have written to them just now and emailed on their website to try to find out what this is about. I have had no contact at all with them other than this. How do they feel they can simply send a bailiff out of the blue and ask for £4,000 without even talking to me, asking what I earn, if I am the father of whatever child they are claiming for - or if there is any agreement already in place. I am astounded they can do this and I believe it is illegal - can anyone recommend a good solicitor for this in Sussex please?
Bill - 25-Jan-18 @ 4:53 PM
I have gotten a letter in the mail that it was it was acceptable at this point to reevaluate my child support order.I feel like the first order was based off of false claims of income.So I want to have it reevaluated but am not sure how to proceed.Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
Meagan - 16-Jan-18 @ 1:51 PM
LindaB - Your Question:
Hi,My husband is paying Child Maintenance for a child that was the product of a one night stand many years ago of whom he has no contact with. We are planning on moving abroad to a non EU country. Does he need to let Child Maintenance know and will he have to continue to pay through the Child Maintenance service if we live in a non UK country, he will not work for any UK based companies or her majesty's services or be on secondment.He will also be unemployed with no income ahead of the move so will Child Maintenance still expect him to pay if he has nil income? We have no contact details for the mother so cannot arrange 'family based' arrangement.Thanks in advance.

Our Response:
Yes, your husband would have to let CMS know otherwise he could be subject to arrears, please see link here . Regardless of where your husband lives, he is still deemed responsible for paying child maintenance for a child that is biologically his. The child's mother can apply to the The Reciprocal Enforcement of Maintenance Order (REMO) Unit, which helps to register and enforce child maintenance orders internationally (where non-resident parents leave the country without maintaining responsibility for their child). There are REMO and non-REMO countries where child maintenance can and cannot be enforced.
SeparatedDads - 9-Jan-18 @ 9:32 AM
Hi, My husband is paying Child Maintenance for a child that was the product of a one night stand many years ago of whom he has no contact with. We are planning on moving abroad to a non EU country. Does he need to let Child Maintenance know and will he have to continue to pay through the Child Maintenance service if we live in a non UK country, he will not work for any UK based companies or her majesty's services or be on secondment. He will also be unemployed with no income ahead of the move so will Child Maintenance still expect him to pay if he has nil income? We have no contact details for the mother so cannot arrange 'family based' arrangement. Thanks in advance.
LindaB - 8-Jan-18 @ 3:12 PM
Kitkat - Your Question:
My ex just got out of prison and kidnap my son and filed child support on me due to me being homeless. I havent seen my kids i. 3 months I do work but being homeless in shelter isnt child abuse I knkw. How do I go about fighting?

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. You would need to seek legal advice. Your local Citizens Advice Bureau may be able to help, as can Coram Children's Legal Centre, please see link here . If you cannot afford legal representation about taking the matter to court, you can represent yourself, please see link here . However, before you take any advice, please see the link What Happens If My Ex Keeps the Children Without My Consent? here , which will tell you more. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 30-Nov-17 @ 11:08 AM
My ex just got out of prison and kidnap my son and filed child support on me due to me being homeless.. I havent seen my kids i. 3 months i do work but being homeless in shelter isnt child abuse i knkw.. How do i go about fighting?
Kitkat - 29-Nov-17 @ 5:11 AM
Hello I need help with writing an agreement letter to stop child support payments. I am the custodial parent. I was living in the same state as my daughter's father and has since moved but my daughter stayed to finish school and both the father and I have come to an agreement to have the payments stopped. Would be able to assist me in writing a letter to have his payments stopped to submit to the courts since we both no longer live in the state that order was originally issued in?
Crys - 25-Oct-17 @ 8:06 PM
Unhappy Parent - Your Question:
I write this as a parent rather than being a mother or father that feels hard done by.As parents regardless of how you feel about the other person the child should always be a priorty. I find it sad that our dislike for one another far overides the love for the child.I am faced with a partner that keeps pay below the threshold and only contributes £1 a day whilst this person and new partner enjoy a great life. Not sure what I am suppose to do with £1 a day when as someone that earns over £100 a day I find it funny that parents think that children grow up on thin air.Even if you look at the basic cost of a child, uniform, dinner money, trips this would amount to more than £7 per week.Put your hate aside stop being greedy and for those who have to pay do the right thing and let your child have the upbringing that they surely deserve.

Our Response:
You don't say why your ex is not paying. If he is not working, then CMS cannot take any more money than a basic rate as it would leave your ex very little to live on, whereas a primary carer can at least claim child benefit and/or child tax credits. Child maintenance is taken from taxable earnings logged through HMRC. If your ex is working illegally and not registering his earnings, then yes, this says more about your child's father than it does about the system. The system is not fullproof, it can only do the best with the tools it has. This means while some benefit, unfortunately others fall through the net.
SeparatedDads - 10-Oct-17 @ 9:54 AM
I write this as a parent rather than being a mother or father that feels hard done by. As parents regardless of how you feel about the other person the child should always be a priorty.I find it sad that our dislike for one another far overides the love for the child. I am faced with a partner that keeps pay below the threshold and only contributes £1 a day whilst this person and new partner enjoy a great life.Not sure what i am suppose to do with £1 a day when as someone that earns over £100 a day i find it funny that parents think that children grow up on thin air. Even if you look at the basic cost of a child, uniform, dinner money, trips this would amount to more than £7 per week. Put your hate aside stop being greedy and for those who have to pay do the right thing and let your child have the upbringing that they surely deserve.
Unhappy Parent - 9-Oct-17 @ 1:07 PM
Hi, my name is Richard an I'm having issues with reduction in my child support. I was paying roughly 800 a month for my son. I had gotten laid off due to reduction in force, after witch I faxed my CLEAN lay off slip to my case worker explaining I could not pay that any longer. Well they continued to charge me 200 a week 800 a month. I'm currently having to write a letter to a judge for reduction in my case. My question was simply how do I go about writing this letter an how should I go about writing my introduction paragraph. Can any one give me an tips?
Richey - 14-Sep-17 @ 2:01 PM
Loulou - Your Question:
My husband has been paying child support for 12 years, initially for 2 children but now just 1. This child turns 20 next month so we are aware that csa should finish but our payment schedule still goes up to the end of the year? We have no idea if the child is in full time education as there is no contact between the ex or any of the children. Can we just cancel our direct debit or is there a letter we have to write?

Our Response:
If your husband's child continues in full-time non-advanced education not higher than A-level equivalent, for at least 12 hours a week, then maintenance payments will continue until the child finishes the course or until they turn 20, please see link here. Your husband should not pay child maintenance beyond the child's 20th birthday.
SeparatedDads - 11-Sep-17 @ 4:20 PM
My husband has been paying child support for 12 years, initially for 2 children but now just 1. This child turns 20 next month so we are aware that csa should finish but our payment schedule still goes up to the end of the year? We have no idea if the child is in full time education as there is no contact between the ex or any of the children. Can we just cancel our direct debit or is there a letter we have to write?
Loulou - 9-Sep-17 @ 6:58 PM
Nate - Your Question:
Hi, I longer wish to receive maintenance from my child's biological parent, my long term partner is applying for parental responsibility & then adoption. The biological parent is perfectly ok with this, hasn't had any contact, & only pays monthly maintenance. I need to draft a letter for us both to sign with witnesses but I'm unsure as to what to actually put! Any ideas?? Thanks.

Our Response:
Once adoption takes place, your child's biological father will naturally be exempted from paying, please see link here . If you attend mediation, a mediator can help you draw up an agreement and have it authorised by the courts, please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 1-Sep-17 @ 2:21 PM
Hi, I longer wish to receive maintenance from my child'sbiological parent, my long term partner is applying for parental responsibility & then adoption. The biological parent is perfectly ok with this, hasn't had any contact, & only pays monthly maintenance. I need to draft a letter for us both to sign with witnesses but I'm unsure as to what to actually put! Any ideas?? Thanks.
Nate - 31-Aug-17 @ 9:16 PM
NannySprinkles - Your Question:
Hello. I hope you can help. I write on behalf of my son. My question is in regard to overnight stays. Since separating from his wife 4 years ago my son has been living with his father and grandmother. He is not allowed to have his daughters for overnight stays so the arrangement over this time is for his daughters to stay with me (paternal grandmother)and my son picks them up for days out etc. I have provided substantial support to the mother by having them most weekends and during holidays as well as periodic days to enable her to work. I work full time but I feel that it is important to provide mum with down time and space as I have been a single parent myself and know how hard it can be. This is more than what is usual for grandparent stays and has been detrimental to my other grandchildren and my child (by my second marriage). So, my question is, can any of these overnight stays count towards a deduction in child maintenance? I know the regs state that the children must stay at the same address as the NRP but what if the NRP doesn't have anywhere for them to stay overnight?

Our Response:
The fact that you volunteer to have your your grandchild overnight would not make any impact upon the amount of child maintenance your son is entitled to pay. Unless circumstances change and your son comes to live with you would he be able to apply.
SeparatedDads - 11-Jul-17 @ 2:21 PM
Hello. I hope you can help. I write on behalf of my son. My question is in regard to overnight stays. Since separating from his wife 4 years ago my son has been living with his father and grandmother. He is not allowed to have his daughters for overnight stays so the arrangement over this time is for his daughters to stay with me (paternal grandmother)and my son picks them up for days out etc. I have provided substantial support to the mother by having them most weekends and during holidays as well as periodic days to enable her to work. I work full time but I feel that it is important to provide mum with down time and space as I have been a single parent myself and know how hard it can be. This is more than what is usual for grandparent stays and has been detrimental to my other grandchildren and my child (by my second marriage). So, my question is, can any of these overnight stays count towards a deduction in child maintenance? I know the regs state that the children must stay at the same address as the NRP but what if the NRP doesn't have anywhere for them to stay overnight?
NannySprinkles - 11-Jul-17 @ 11:07 AM
Jrob89 - Your Question:
Hello, I am writing on behalf of my partner, who pays maintenance to his ex for his 5 year old son. He got into arrears whilst the matter went to court last year as she refused access - the matter took 3 or 4 months and the courts restored access as it was frankly unfair. During that time he paid her no maintenance (silly but he was angry). CMA purported to take almost all of his wage due to the arrears which left him in financial hardship and without enough money to even get the bus to work. At the moment he is on JSA but starts a new job next week. He will be writing to them to tell them this. Can he request a repayment schedule to help him pay back the arrears? Surely they have to work with him so he isn't suffering as a result. Do they have to take into account what he earns and his outgoings or can they take what they want? Secondly he cares for his ex's other child (not his but the child thinks he is his dad). Child maintenance refuse to acknowledge this? He sees his the same amount of time as his son, spends just as much money and yet he is still paying the same amount of maintenance. Is there anything we can do about this? My partner has both children on average over the year, more than 1 night a week overnight. Thank you!

Our Response:
Child maintenance and child access have no bearing upon each other i.e a non-resident parent is by law co-financially responsible for their child whether they see their child or not. The courts or CMS would never write-off the arrears on the basis of not having contact. Unfortunately, it's a hole that many NRPs fall into by having the misguided opinion; if they're not seeing their kids, then why should they pay for them. I can't really advise fully on this as we do not have any knowledge of the CMS's administrative procedures. However, it can ask for up to 40 per cent of a person's income, depending on their circumstances and other financial commitments. CMS may sometimes negotiate a repayment schedule and your partner may have to put together a financial statement to prove his level of hardship in order for this to apply, please see CAB link here. Likewise, if your partner thinks he is being treated unfairly, I can only suggest he complains or appeals, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 11-May-17 @ 10:12 AM
Hello, I am writing on behalf of my partner, who pays maintenance to his ex for his 5 year old son. He got into arrears whilst the matter went to court last year as she refused access - the matter took 3 or 4 months and the courts restored access as it was frankly unfair. During that time he paid her no maintenance (silly but he was angry). CMA purported to take almost all of his wage due to the arrears which left him in financial hardship and without enough money to even get the bus to work. At the moment he is on JSA but starts a new job next week. He will be writing to them to tell them this. Can he request a repayment schedule to help him pay back the arrears? Surely they have to work with him so he isn't suffering as a result. Do they have to take into account what he earns and his outgoings or can they take what they want? Secondly he cares for his ex's other child (not his but the child thinks he is his dad). Child maintenance refuse to acknowledge this? He sees his the same amount of time as his son, spends just as much money and yet he is still paying the same amount of maintenance. Is there anything we can do about this? My partner has both children on average over the year, more than 1 night a week overnight. Thank you!
Jrob89 - 10-May-17 @ 7:22 AM
ARAN - Your Question:
Partner ended relationship 2 weeks ago during a holiday she went on with our child, booked on a return ticket, I know now this was planned with her mother. They are in England I am in Scotland so I have began court proceddings. Received child maintenance service letter asking for collect & pay dont want this because of charges but thinking do I fill it in at all as I am hoping to get her home

Our Response:
I can only suggest you take legal advice here as the split is very fresh and presumably you wish to determine who your child should live with permanently. If you are the usual primary carer of your child i.e you are the main day-to-day carer of your child, then a court may opt for a shared -care arrangement, or for you to continue your role as primary carer. However, if your are usually the parent who goes out to work and your ex stays at home with your child, then it is more likely she will remain the primary carer and you will become the non-resident/paying parent, in which case you will be assessed on your earnings as to the amount of child maintenance you will pay. Therefore, you need to explore your options fully and take legal advice regarding whether you should fill in the CMS assessment for and/or if you don't whether you may be subjected to arrears. As it stands, your ex has taken the stance of primary carer and if you object you will have to let the courts decide with whom your child should live.
SeparatedDads - 27-Apr-17 @ 12:18 PM
partner ended relationship 2 weeks ago during a holiday she went on with our child, booked on a return ticket, i know now this was planned with her mother.They are in England i am in Scotland so i have began court proceddings.Received child maintenance service letter asking for collect & pay dont want this because of charges but thinking do i fill it in at all as i am hoping to get her home
ARAN - 26-Apr-17 @ 7:14 PM
A concerned friend - Your Question:
Hello. My friend is at his wits end. His ex wife refuses to confirm to the CSA that there has been a change in the number of nights his youngest daughter stays with him. The CSA has been informed but say they cannot do anything until she (the claimant) confirms this to them. She expects to receive the full CSA amount and refuses to do any of the college runs (there is no direct bus to the college and the train station is a 20 minute walk down a busy A road with no pathway) and so my friend is having to cover this all week which us putting some 150 miles + every week on top of his normal journey to work. She refuses to discuss the matter with him either face to face or verbally and will only send hostile messages back via one of her daughters. Is there no other way of validating a change in circumstances as it is obvious that she will not cooperate in this matter.

Our Response:
I'm afraid this is an all too common problem between the paying and receiving parent. I can only suggest your friend seeks legal advice - a solicitor's letter outlining your friend's rights in this matter might do the trick. He may also be eligible for a 'special expenses variation', please see link here. However, this is usually more applicable for pick-ups and drop-offs over a long distance.
SeparatedDads - 24-Apr-17 @ 9:58 AM
Hello. My friend is at his wits end. His ex wife refuses to confirm to the CSA that there has been a change in the number of nights his youngest daughter stays with him.The CSA has been informed but say they cannot do anything until she (the claimant) confirms this to them. She expects to receive the full CSA amount and refuses to do any of the college runs (there is no direct bus to the college and the train station is a 20 minute walk down a busy A road with no pathway) and so my friend is having to cover this all week which us putting some 150 miles + every week on top of his normal journey to work. She refuses to discuss the matter with him either face to face or verbally and will only send hostile messages back via one of her daughters.Is there no other way of validating a change in circumstances as it is obvious that she will not cooperate in this matter.
A concerned friend - 23-Apr-17 @ 9:14 AM
Mr Jon - Your Question:
HI - I am writing on behalf of my son - he is paying maintenance to CSA via his wages - the child is finishing school this June/July and is 20 in December 2017. I notice that the age has recently changed from 19 to 20.question 1 - should the payments have stopped on the 19th birthdayquestion 2 - will they automaticly stop when they are 20 or do we have to tell the CSA.question 3 - we have just noticed that the wife has had a partner staying with her since 2016, should the CSA be told about this and would it help reduce the payments.thanks for your site

Our Response:
Please see link: At What Age Do Child Maintenance Payments Stop? here which should tell you all you need to know. That the mother of your son has someone staying with her will not affect payments from you, the father. Child maintenance payments are based solely upon the earnings of the non-resident father and are not affected by others living under the same roof.
SeparatedDads - 18-Apr-17 @ 2:24 PM
HI - I am writing on behalf of my son - he is paying maintenance to CSA via his wages - the child is finishing school this June/July and is 20 in December 2017. I notice that the age has recently changed from 19 to 20. question 1 - should the payments have stopped on the 19th birthday question 2 - will they automaticly stop when they are 20 or do we have to tell the CSA. question 3 - we have just noticed that the wife has had a partner staying with her since 2016, should the CSA be told about this and would it help reduce the payments. thanks for your site
Mr Jon - 18-Apr-17 @ 10:04 AM
Hi there i need some advice please,i have just found out that if my son has left school last year but i still have to pay child support until he finds a job,his father no longer gets child benefit and my son claims for himself,he is now 17 and my payments stopped last year when he was 16,now all of a sudden 237 pound has been deducted from my wage,my son isnt happy either as i have given him 100 pound a month since he was 16 anyway and he is happy with this,so is it true i have to pay his father until my son finds a job?
Kaz - 12-Apr-17 @ 4:42 PM
Paul - Your Question:
Hi there, I am wondering if you would be able to offer some advise please. I am separated from my wife and we have 4 children, eldest 11 and youngest 5. We both still get on well for the benefit of the children and both consented to a divorce. However, when I left the family home 3 years ago, I agreed to pay £800 per month towards the upkeep of the children which I have done every month. My wife now has a job and through benefits and my maintainance, she runs the house herself. Looking on the maintainance calculator, I should be paying around £630 per month. I'm not trying to be selfish, but with my own living costs , the amount I pay is tough and I want to reduce the amount I pay, but use the money saved in giving the children better weekends when they stay with me. I hope I'm not sounding unreasonable, but my wife will definitely say I am. I feel it may jeopardise the divorce and open a can of worms to what she has declared for housing benefit. Any thoughts , ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

Our Response:
Mutual rational discussion is always the best way to air such views by putting forward your points fairly and logically putting your own case forward and what you intend to do as an alternative. However, as we are all aware this doesn't always work in principle. If your proposals don't go down well, then you can always suggest that you would prefer to be assessed through Child Maintenance Services in order to pay the correct amount. It's a tricky question to advise on as there is no correct answer, only the one that works for you. However, I do not advise you pay anything via cash and that all payments are recorded as if your ex is trying to falsify a claim for housing benefit purposes, this could inadvertently backfire on you.
SeparatedDads - 6-Apr-17 @ 11:36 AM
Hi there, I am wondering if you would be able to offer some advise please. I am separated from my wife and we have 4 children, eldest 11 and youngest 5. We both still get on well for the benefit of the children and both consented to a divorce. However, when I left the family home 3 years ago, I agreed to pay £800 per month towards the upkeep of the children which I have done every month . My wife now has a job and through benefits and my maintainance, she runs the house herself. Looking on the maintainance calculator, I should be paying around £630 per month. I'm not trying to be selfish, but with my own living costs , the amount I pay is tough and I want to reduce the amount I pay, but use the money saved in giving the children better weekends when they stay with me. I hope I'm not sounding unreasonable, but my wife will definitely say I am. I feel it may jeopardise the divorce and open a can of worms to what she has declared for housing benefit. Any thoughts , ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
Paul - 5-Apr-17 @ 6:19 PM
Charlie- Your Question:
I need advice, my daughters farther has only seen her 11 times since she was born (she is now 2 and half) the CSA finally got him with a court date and he has now called me asking to provide a letter saying he has paid me the amount they are demanding which he hasn't, he is refusing to give me any help unless I ask him for it and tell him what it's all for. I don't want my daughter to loose out in her farther as I believe every child should know their dad but this would be me lying to the courts and I am not comfortable doing that.Can someone advise me on what's best as I don't want to be the bad person and I definitely don't want to go to court and lye as will get charged for contempt

Our Response:
You certainly should not attempt to lie in court. This can heavily backfire and you too could be charged if you are found out not to be telling the truth. Your ex is deemed responsible for paying child maintenance for his child whether he sees her or not. If he has not paid, then he should be made accountable.
SeparatedDads - 22-Mar-17 @ 11:38 AM
I need advice, my daughters farther has only seen her 11 times since she was born (she is now 2 and half) the CSA finally got him with a court date and he has now called me asking to provide a letter saying he has paid me the amount they are demanding which he hasn't, he is refusing to give me any help unless I ask him for it and tell him what it's all for. I don't want my daughter to loose out in her farther as I believe every child should know their dad but this would be me lying to the courts and I am not comfortable doing that. Can someone advise me on what's best as I don't want to be the bad person and I definitely don't want to go to court and lye as will get charged for contempt
Charlie - 21-Mar-17 @ 3:35 PM
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