What child maintenance covers
Child maintenance helps with the basic costs of raising a child: food, clothing, heating, and housing. The money contributes to keeping a roof over your child's head and ensuring they have what they need day to day.
If you're not sure whether you're paying the right amount based on your circumstances, you can check using our free Child Maintenance Calculator.
There's no official list of what should and shouldn't be covered. The Child Maintenance Service doesn't specify that a certain percentage should go on food or clothes. The system assumes these costs blend together in the reality of running a household with children.
The parent receiving maintenance doesn't have to account for how they spend it. There are no receipts to provide or budgets to justify. Child maintenance is treated as a contribution to the overall cost of caring for your child, not as payment for specific items.
The Child Maintenance Service calculates payments based on the paying parent's gross income and the number of children involved. They use set income bands to determine amounts, though you can apply for a variation if special circumstances affect your case.
Find out how much child maintenance you should pay or receive. Takes less than a minute.
Try our Child Maintenance Calculator free, here on this site →Why there's no itemised breakdown
This approach exists for practical reasons. Children's needs vary enormously, and costs fluctuate throughout the year. Your child might need new school shoes one month and winter clothes the next. They'll eat more during growth spurts and less when they're unwell.
Many costs of raising children can't be divided up easily. A larger home to accommodate children costs more in rent or mortgage payments, heating, and council tax. These housing costs can't be separated from other household expenses in any meaningful way.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
When you feel the money isn't being used properly
Paying parents often worry that their maintenance isn't being spent on the children. You might see your ex buying things for themselves and wonder whether your child maintenance helped pay for it. This can feel unfair, especially when money is tight for you.
Unless there's evidence of child neglect, your options for challenging how maintenance is spent are limited. The receiving parent has discretion over household budgeting decisions. They might spend your maintenance on groceries while using their own income for other purchases, or vice versa. Money goes into the same household pot.
If you genuinely believe your child is being neglected or their basic needs aren't being met, that's a safeguarding issue rather than a child maintenance one. In serious cases, you might need to contact social services or seek legal advice about your child's welfare.
Extra costs and shared care
Child maintenance covers basic living costs, but it doesn't stretch to everything. School trips, music lessons, and sports equipment often become a source of disagreement between separated parents.
Legally, you're only required to pay the child maintenance that's been calculated or agreed. You're not obliged to contribute to additional expenses, though many parents choose to do so. Some parents find it helpful to discuss larger expenses in advance or pay schools and clubs directly.
The amount of time your child spends with you affects calculations. If you have your child overnight regularly, this reduces the amount you pay. The Child Maintenance Service recognises that when children are with you, you're covering their costs during that time. This reduction only applies to overnight stays, not daytime visits.
If you want more say over specific purchases, the most effective approach is maintaining good communication with your ex and buying things directly when your child is with you. Many fathers find that taking an active role in shopping for school clothes or equipment gives them confidence that their child's needs are being met.
The system doesn't give the paying parent control over day to day household spending decisions. Child maintenance is about ensuring your child has financial support from both parents, even if the lack of detailed oversight feels uncomfortable.
Your frustration with the CSM system is understandable, and many fathers share similar concerns about the assessment process not considering both households' circumstances. While the current system has its limitations, there might be options worth exploring.
It could be helpful to speak with a family solicitor or Citizens Advice about your situation. They can review whether your overnight care arrangements are being properly calculated and if there are any grounds to request a variation based on exceptional circumstances.
Please don't let the financial pressure stop you from seeing your children. There are many low-cost activities you can enjoy together, and your presence matters far more than expensive outings.
She lied and they're taking her word for it so I have to pay more.
I've tried talking to them but they just believe whatever she says and so any change is refused and they take her side.
I'm banging my head against a wall.
The system is so corrupt it's ridiculous.
I understand that there will be idiots out there trying to dodge their responsibilities but the rest of us are being unfairly penalised .
How can I prove the amount of time my son stays with me?!
I
I have an 8 yr old son and I've split up many years ago from his mother, we had a mutually agreed shared care for our son where I was paying her £200/mth maintenance and then paying for his other extra curricular activities which was over £300.
Recently she decided to move 250 miles away (approx. 6 hrs away), I stopped her by going to court and they put a prohibited steps order on her, then she got very upset and made false allegations against me as a result my son cannot stay with me during the nights.
She has also gone to CMS and now they are asking me to pay £666/mth and I know that money will not be spent on our son, she will spend it on herself, and her friends.
She is also expecting me to pay for the extra curricular activities (e.g. football club, kung-fu, private tuition, coding/programming classes etc.) on top of the child maintenance payment.
I called CMS and 3 different ppl told me that extra curricular activities are included in the main payment calculation, she has told me that when she rang they told her that extra curricular activities are not included and she expects me to pay all of them and all that could amount to £1K/mth.
Could someone please clarify what the situation is, does the £666 child maintenance include extra curricular activities or not?
Regards
Saj
He split it with their mum 13 years ago and have shared the kids 50/50 (although she got the benefits for the children). For 5 years his 19 year old chose to live with us full time, this was from age 14-19. She has just started spending more time at her mums, although she is now out of education. My partners 15 year old has always done 50/50. Just recently his ex (after being separated for 13 years) has asked for money. Now considering my partner has his son 50/50 and pays a lot of money for his activities/clothes etc, can she do this? She has now gone to CSA.
Any tips/advice? Can this be happening after 13 years? Why when they have him 50/50. Can we counter claim for the 5 years she claimed their daughter lived with her when in fact she lived with us? We didn’t ask for a penny whilst we had her full time too.
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