Home > Lies in Separation > Being Falsely Accused of Child Abuse

Being Falsely Accused of Child Abuse

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 5 Oct 2018 |
 
Accused Child Abuse Social Services

If you are accused of child abuse, whether sexual or violent in nature, or abuse that is supposed to have occurred in front of your children, you may find yourself on the receiving end of a ‘visit’ from Social Services, which may seem casual and friendly but is actually recorded on a computer and remains on a social services file indefinitely.

If Social Services decide not to do anything about it, there will be ‘no action taken’. It is well worth checking what is on the file in these circumstances to make sure that what has been recorded is accurate. You are unlikely to get an apology or thanks for your cooperation.

Further Action

If Social Services decide that they need to take further action, they can hold a ‘core assessment’ meeting where they can direct you to do certain things as a parent. Your child could be put on the ‘at risk’ register. If this happens, it could be that your authority over your child’s welfare may be shared with Social Services, or your child could be taken into care, or adopted into another family.

Your Child’s File

Whatever information is on file about your child, it can be seen by medical professionals, health visitors, teachers and school staff, housing authorities, police, public and some voluntary workers who have contact with children, and youth workers. That is why it is important to ensure that whatever is recorded is correct.

The Meeting With Social Services

Although this is often sold to people as ‘a little chat’, you should NOT treat it as such. Make sure you bring someone with you who you know and trust as a witness, and make sure you tape record the meeting. Ask everyone there whether they have any objection to you recording the meeting – they should not. Use a ‘conference microphone’ so that you get a clear definition of what everyone says. If you know what the meeting is going to be about, bring any documentation that you think will help. No matter how nice they are to you, remember they are there to do a job – which is to see whether you are an unfit parent or not. They are not paid to be kind to you.

The Good News

As public bodies are terrified of being lambasted in the media, they can have a tendency to over-react to any kind of concern expressed over a child’s welfare. There does not have to be strong evidence in order to trigger a referral to Social Services. Sometimes it is simply an opinion, a suspicion, or an impression that a public employee has, although there are rules and concerns must be ‘evidence based.’

Although this might seem shocking, a considerable number of referrals to Social Services are not investigated at all because they are deemed to be without merit. Although figures vary between local authorities, those that are not investigated at all amount to around 55% of all referrals. If there is genuinely nothing wrong, and the referral has been made mistakenly, or maliciously, just make sure you take the precautions described above. Act professionally, tell the truth and make sure that you do not say anything even in jest that could be misinterpreted.

False accusations are not uncommon where one partner is looking for ways to 'punish' the other. It's not always accusations of child abuse either...often an ex will falsely accuse you of domestic violence or even rape. Our articles:
Being Falsely Accused of Domestic Abuse
and
Being Falsely Accused of Rape
offer some advice about what to do in those situations.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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[Add a Comment]
@jca277211.wow that is a horror story .i don’t think my ex would stoop that low .if my daughters half brother tried that on me accused me of sexual abuse to blackmail me for money and held a knife to my cheek .wouldnt he get shock back to reality ha ha ha he be going home in tears with a good life lesson and story to tell .the day I thought I was man but quickly realised I was a lamb to the slaughter . and some dire advice for mummy step daddy said you just opened up a whole different can of worms now the gloves are coming off .
Chris laurie - 5-Oct-18 @ 9:16 PM
I have a story to tell but I can't register on the site
Buckley dad - 5-Oct-18 @ 2:31 PM
I have been seperated from my wife officially from 2015 when she left with my neice who we both have an order from the court for full parental rights and responsibilities along with a residence order for my address which is where we lived at the time of the order. As I said at the top she left in July 2015 went to woman's aid and claimed she was fleeing domestic violence which is a lie. She returned back to my house in late September 2015 and lived there until March 2017. She gained a brand new built house but before she moved into it when the house was ready she allowed her sister to live in the house for 6 months. When my ex moved into her new place I bought her new furniture and bits for her place we were getting on fine I had my neice every weekend and things were going well. September 2017 my stepson came to stay with his girlfriend for a short time this lasted until February 2018 when he got his own place. A few random things my stepson mentioned gave me cause for concern but he wouldn't give me te reason why he was asking. April 2018 my ex and stepson smashed the glass on my back door of the house forced their way in and my stepson pushed me against a wall and pushed a knife into my neck and demanded money for a debt. Along with the demand for the money he said if I didn't pay it he would make an allegation against me saying I abused him. The police arrived after I refused to pay any money and thd reason I Ave him was he would come back in a few days for more as it was hush money, as the allegation is untrue I refused to pay and I told him to go to the police. He refused to go with the police 6 times that night and hid reason was " mud sticks". He has already blackmailed someone before for 60k over a 5 month period. The previous blackmail was similar he got a guy to send nude pics of himself and as he was pretending to be a girl the guy sent them, he then called the guy and said the girl was only 15 so if you give me money I will expose you as being a pedophile. The threat didn't stop at the money that night he also told me he would tell all the neighbour's what I've supposed to have done to him and he would also call my employer he has carried these threats out so far and his last threat was I will never know another days rest because when he's finished with me his mother will carry on. He has since that night in April he's been back at my house and smashed the front windows on 4 more occasions. The last thing the both of them said was they will leave me with nothing and no one. My ex has stopped me seeing my neice, I'm the blood link to my neice not my ex. Can anyone help me please
JCA277211 - 15-Sep-18 @ 11:13 AM
Hi please help me, I'm being accused of child abuse on my own child. Both my children have been taken off me. If I'm proven not guilty will I ever get my kids back
Jjj2018 - 15-Sep-18 @ 12:12 AM
Bob - Your Question:
My wife has accused me of abusing our kid and her. She is trying to use this to get full custody. She already took our kid away 2 weeks ago. The police won't do anything. She has no proof and I am the one calling social services everyday for help. It seems all a woman has to do is say 'abuse' and you are evil. It got to a point during our relationship that I would not even touch our kid for fear of being labelled. The problem is our kid is autistic and refuses to go out, go to school etc and has breakdowns and lays on the pavement outside. I have to pick her up sometimes, help dress her when she won't and occasionally lead her by the hand so she does not get run over. I was primary school teacher and studied how to restrain kids and do the same thing when needed during tantrums. I also saw the doctors doing the same things. The problem is that my wife says any contact especially against the kid's will as abuse. The sad result has been that our kid knows she just has to have a tantrum and that either daddy will be too scared to touch her or if he does, some crying will set her mum off and they'll argue then the kid will win a day off.

Our Response:
Ringing social services every day will not help, SS will only intervene if the child is being negelcted or at a risk from harm by the other parent. If your child is being cared for adequetely social service can do nothing. The link here , will help answer your question.
SeparatedDads - 4-Sep-18 @ 11:43 AM
My wife has accused me of abusing our kid and her. She is trying to use this to get full custody. She already took our kid away 2 weeks ago. The police won't do anything. She has no proof and I am the one calling social services everyday for help. It seems all a woman has to do is say 'abuse' and you are evil. It got to a point during our relationship that I would not even touch our kid for fear of being labelled. The problem is our kid is autistic and refuses to go out, go to school etc and has breakdowns and lays on the pavement outside. I have to pick her up sometimes, help dress her when she won't and occasionally lead her by the hand so she does not get run over. I was primary school teacher and studied how to restrain kids and do the same thing when needed during tantrums. I also saw the doctors doing the same things. The problem is that my wife says any contact especially against the kid's will as abuse. The sad result has been that our kid knows she just has to have a tantrum and that either daddy will be too scared to touch her or if he does, some crying will set her mum off and they'll argue then the kid will win a day off.
Bob - 28-Aug-18 @ 6:51 PM
sleven - Your Question:
My ex failed my 2 children and they ended up living with me for a year and a half.she picked them up for the holidays and adviced me that shes putting them into a new school and theyre gonna be living with her.i told her social worker and was adviced to take her to court.she now all of a sudden coerced my children into saying I've hit them and made false allegations of domestic violance when I was with her 10 years ago.this is very sad and reduced me to tears because of the imotional blackmail on the kids and how they might be feeling mentally.what can I do, as I k ow my kids are innocent in this and the fact that shes turning them against me is going to leave immotionaly irreversible effects on them.

Our Response:
Cafcass and the court are trained to see through false accusations. Your only recourse is to apply to court. If your ex has taken the children, then you have nothing to lose if you apply to have residency handed back to you. I suggest you join our Separated Dads forum as our dads can help advise how is best to approach this and what you can expect.
SeparatedDads - 10-Aug-18 @ 2:02 PM
my ex failed my 2 children and they ended up living with me for a year and a half. she picked them up for the holidays and adviced me that shes putting them into a new school and theyre gonna be living with her. i told her social worker and was adviced to take her to court. she now all of a sudden coerced my children into saying I've hit them and made false allegations of domestic violance when i was with her 10 years ago. this is very sad and reduced me to tears because of the imotional blackmail on the kids and how they might be feeling mentally. what can i do, as i k ow my kids are innocent in this and the fact that shes turning them against me is going to leave immotionaly irreversible effects on them.
sleven - 7-Aug-18 @ 11:42 PM
Sophie - Your Question:
Hi I'm wondering if you can help, I'm not a father separated from their child but I'm a mother separated from her child. Five months ago social services came to my door to inform me an allegation was made by my 3yo daughter accusing her brother (my 4yo son) of sexual abuse Social services have since closed the case as there was no evidence to prove this and my daughter never disclosed this accusation to anyone other than my ex's new partner (who doesn't like me) my daughter never spoke of it again and by the way she was, was enough proof it never happened.I currently have a solicitor working on this case because her father agreed to let me see her in a supervised contact centre but in court today he has now went back on his word and has now said I can have no contact what so ever because our daughter is supposedly too stressed. We now have been granted to go to a higher court who can impose more legal action on her father but that isn't for another month and I've already been banned from seeing her for the past 5 months and this is not the first time, at one point I was banned from seeing her for 7 months. But is there anything else I can do apart from doing what I'm already doing with my solicitor to speed up the process to see my daughter and also clear my sons name he's 4yo and we get dirty looks anytime we go into our local town as my ex and his partner have seem to spread this horrible lie aroundWe were told this morning it would go to a proper trial based on hard evidence if this happened or not and I was prepared to do this as I have proof that it didn't happen and I wanted paper proof that my son is innocent and this was a lie not made up by my daughter but by her father and partner, but the judge threw it out and told us it was between us as parents to take it to the higher courts but I want a trial because I want to prove my sons innocence but I also want to prove that they do not have the best interest for my daughter and their only interest in her is to use her against meSorry for the long post but this mum needs some serious advice ????

Our Response:
Unfortunately, we cannot offer more advice on what your solicitor/legal adviser can offer you. Neither can we comment as we are not party to both sides of the story and cannot play the part of Cafcass if we were. We neither cannot predict what a court may decide. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 3-Aug-18 @ 2:57 PM
Hi I'm wondering if you can help, I'm not a father separated from their child but I'm a mother separated from her child. Five months ago social services came to my door to inform me an allegation was made by my 3yo daughter accusing her brother (my 4yo son)of sexual abuse Social services have since closed the case as there was no evidence to prove this and my daughter never disclosed this accusationto anyone other than my ex's new partner (who doesn't like me) my daughter never spoke of it again and by the way she was, was enough proof it never happened. I currently have a solicitor working on this case because her father agreed to let me see her in a supervised contact centre but in court today he has now went back on his word and has now said I can have no contact what so ever because our daughter is supposedly too stressed. We now have been granted to go to a higher court who can impose more legal action on her father but that isn't for another month and I've already been banned from seeing her for the past 5 months and this is not the first time, at one point I was banned from seeing her for 7 months. But is there anything else I can do apart from doing what I'm already doing with my solicitor to speed up the process to see my daughter and also clear my sons name he's 4yo and we get dirty looks anytime we go into our local town as my ex and his partner have seem to spread this horrible lie around We were told this morning it would go to a proper trial based on hard evidence if this happened or not and I was prepared to do this as I have proof that it didn't happen and I wanted paper proof that my son is innocent and this was a lie not made up by my daughter but by her father and partner, but the judge threw it out and told us it was between us as parents to take it to the higher courts but I want a trial because I want to prove my sons innocence but I also want to prove that they do not have the best interest for my daughter and their only interest in her is to use her against me Sorry for the long post but this mum needs some serious advice ????
Sophie - 3-Aug-18 @ 3:49 AM
Tony - Your Question:
Please help. I’ve tried to join the forum but it won’t let me. I was found not guilty by a court after a false allegation was made by my partners adult daughter about when she was a child. It was a complete fabrication. Social services are not involved and I have been having contact unsupervised with my three children for the past four months every weekend via a court order that I initiated. The court has now ordered a section 7 and have now imposed supervision by my sister as my ex has now requested the contact be supervised as she feels I am a risk. They have stated the section 7 is to assess any risk in my parenting to my three children in relation to the allegations despite the not guilty verdict. My children are 4, 9 & 12. Anyone got any ideas of the outcome, will I need supervision until they are 18? This is so unfair as I am innocent and miss my kids. Any advice would be appreciated. Tony

Our Response:
If you wish to join the forum, contact the administrator and they will help you. You can find the contact details at the bottom of the site. We cannot speculate what a court may decide. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 12-Jul-18 @ 11:44 AM
Please help. I’ve tried to join the forum but it won’t let me. I was found not guilty by a court after a false allegation was made by my partners adult daughter about when she was a child. It was a complete fabrication. Social services are not involved and I have been having contact unsupervised with my three children for the past four months every weekend via a court order that I initiated. The court has now ordered a section 7 and have now imposed supervision by my sister as my ex has now requested the contact be supervised as she feels I am a risk. They have stated the section 7 is to assess any risk in my parenting to my three children in relation to the allegations despite the not guilty verdict. My children are 4, 9 & 12. Anyone got any ideas of the outcome, will I need supervision until they are 18? This is so unfair as I am innocent and miss my kids. Any advice would be appreciated. Tony
Tony - 10-Jul-18 @ 9:55 PM
Jonny - Your Question:
Can someone please help me. I have just come out of a relationship in which my ex cheated on me and kicked me out of the house. I was a full time dad to my then 2 step children for 5 years then we had our son who is now 2. But since this has happened she is making things up about how bad a parent I was the 2 things I know of is forcing my step daughter to eat a chip and hitting them which is massive lies. I am in the process of court proceedings to get access and with no doubt she will bring these accusations up how do I defend myself and what evidence can I use to show I have done nothing wrong

Our Response:
Unless your ex can prove you have been a bad parent i.e you have a restraining order or the police have been involved then she cannot prove this in court. The best advice is to keep away from your ex as much as you can so as not to provoke any antagonism. Cafcass and the courts are wise to false accusation and know the correct questions to ask in order to define whether your ex is telling lies or the truth. Remember in court your ex is under oath to tell the truth. Therefore, if your ex is lying you have nothing to worry about.
SeparatedDads - 9-Jul-18 @ 12:30 PM
Can someone please help me. I have just come out of a relationship in which my ex cheated on me and kicked me out of the house. I was a full time dad to my then 2 step children for 5 years then we had our son who is now 2. But since this has happened she is making things up about how bad a parent i was the 2 things i know of is forcing my step daughter to eat a chip and hitting them which is massive lies. I am in the process of court proceedings to get access and with no doubt she will bring these accusations up how do i defend myself and what evidence can i use to show i have done nothing wrong
Jonny - 7-Jul-18 @ 12:49 AM
There is some good advice about what to do on this site if you are falsely accused. Social services can totally overreact and you should definitely take it extremely seriously if you are accused. My family was wrongly accused of harming my daughter's child by her former partner. The child had a mild unexplained bruise. We, as a family, were totally innocent, and so we thought it would it would be a simple matter to clear up. From being a normal family just going about our business, with no previous social services' involvement, it blew up into something huge. Social services removed the child for over a year. We were investigated by police. We had to go to court to have the child returned to our care and we spent £30,000 in legal fees until we were totally exonerated. I don't want to scare anyone unnecessarily but a false accusation can have massive consequences. I would say do all you can to collect positive evidence in your favour. If anyone wants to read the whole story of what happened to us, our family published an account of it on Amazon Kindle. We called the eBook "Wrongly Accused." Since you're not allowed to identify a child, we had to anonymise our account and we listed it as a "Family Publication" instead of putting our names to it. We have been trying to raise awareness of the issues surrounding child removals after someone is accused. Removal is draconian for mere suspicion, but it is become more and more common. Post Baby P professionals are terrified of getting it wrong and missing abuse. Innocent families are reaping the results of this. Rather than giving the benefit of the doubt, often a child is just removed. It is likely that the media baying for blood when professionals make mistakes has led to this climate of paranoia in child protection so that totally innocent families can end up separated for very long periods.
Wrongly Accused - 27-Jun-18 @ 2:23 PM
hi i am currently i care prodedings regarding my girlfriends son accusing me of hitting him with a belt which never happened although he had bruises on his legs ? anybody got any ideas or helpful suggestions
eddmanrules - 22-Jun-18 @ 3:25 PM
Hi, my partner has been accused if making my 14 yr old niece feel 'awkward' she is really very close to us, the spare room is even called her room she is here that often and she has always had a very close bond with her uncle. She said she was feeling sick so he was rubbing her back got her some water gave her a cuddle then a kiss goodnight, all this is normal behaviour given how close a family we are and how he practically looks at her like another daughter!! I was there the whole time, my niece has added 2 lies to the story 1. The bedroom door was shut ( it wasn't I was on the landing sorting out the laundry) 2. He kisses her on the lips goodnight and has never done that before (only the week before he kissed her on the lips and said goodbye) so I know this is normal as throughout all our family we always do! Her mum (my sister) has I'm sure seen this as an opportunity to destroy my family and partner through what I can only assume as jealousy, we are both getting married and she's had some clear problems with it as has been very vocal and competitive over our weddings. She has also spoke to mutual friends (previous to the accusation) of how she doesn't like my partner and has basically tried to ruin his good name! She sent a threatening text to me 2 days ago saying she will go to the police about my 'weird fiance' if I continue to protect him against these claims!! It's torn the whole family apart as all members have rushed to my partners side to reassure him this is just wrong and cruel, my sister has took a firm stand and is hell be my on destroying him, yet she hasn't gone to the police regarding the situation!?! Surely if she felt that strongly she would have?? But we can't live with this accusation or threat anymore and have no idea where to turn or what action to take, he hasn't slept for days, he can't speak to anybody about it as it's just sick and humiliating but I need to know if there is something or someone we can turn to to help resolve this and put an end to it.
Upsetaunt - 23-Apr-18 @ 10:43 AM
Hi.. I'm so upset right now, my son who is a loving Single dad to he's two & a half year old son was accused of hurting he's sons arm. The health visitor and a lady was around my sons house to “support him because my son suffers from anxiety caused by a number of things including a road accident and he's girlfriend leaving their son when he was just 3 months old, he basically looked after him from being a new born because he's girlfriend wasnt a natural mother and she was just unable to cope with the huge change, she only changed the babies nappy a handful of times since he was a new born to the 3rd and final time she'd left. My son stood up to the mark beautifully and has dedicated he's life to he's sonthe only thing is he's been struggling with this terrible anxiety and panic attacks, so because he has problems he's been getting support every 2 weeks with the health visitor and a lady from the nursery that my grandson attends 3 times a week, this lady doesn't work at the nursery but she attends there once every 2 weeks to support the children their and any needs they might require like speech therapy or a hearing test, anyway a few days ago she turned up with the health visitor and she noticed a spot on my grandsons arm, she mentioned this to my son but didn't make a fuss, a few hours later the health visitor called my son up to tell him that she's had to call the social services but this lady told her in the car she thought it looked like a burn mark made by a cigarette, my son and I was naturally upset because the health visitor knows my son very well and she knows that my son would die for he's son. I didn't know what to do, so I took him straight to the doctors to get him checked over to confirm that it wasn't a burn just a spot that looked to me as an insect bite. She checked him over and confirmed it wasnt a burn, her words were " no there's no trauma to the skin as you'd expect to see with a burn, I told them that my son doesn't smoke and therefore it'd be impossible, plus he wouldn't harm a hair on he's head. Anyway I walked out of the doctors feeling better and more relaxed. That night an emergency team of social servicescame down and said that they still want a full medical at the hospital, they said they were happy with the home situation of were my grandson lives and they said they could tell he was well cared for and then they said something which horrified methey said they had the power to remove my grandson from my son that night if they thought he was in dangerI felt so let down by the doctor and healtj visitor and this lady who started this nonsense. I took him to the hospital for a full medical with the social services standing there, who were really nice actually,but I was still fuming and extremely upsetby the whole situation. Anyway two doctors looked at him and confirmed it was an insect bite or ringworm which I've never heard of. I was sent home with my grandson with antiseptic cream and
Suzi - 16-Apr-18 @ 2:57 AM
@ Upset mumma - a 'tap' wouldn't leave a red mark. Social Services will have to conduct an investigation. They have to protect and safeguard children.
Ana - 6-Apr-18 @ 2:49 PM
Paul - Your Question:
In need of helpI’ve had allegation towards me as a football coach.Thing is the social services have not fully investigated the allegation.I am 100% that the child have lied about the allegation.The child said that I was showing adult porn on my phone.This is untrue as my net work provided 02 have age restricted of 18+ this means that 02 will not allow this to happen, the only time this can happen is you have home WI FI.Please any information to get social services to get further investigation.I have a family to look after this is absolutely disgusted me.Please help

Our Response:
If an allegation is made from a child, then the allegation will have to be investigated, as it is the law. Much depends upon whether social services are satisfied that there is no concern. It is difficult to advise as you have not specified what has been investigated to date and how long ago this was. You can see how the procedure is investigated via the CAB link here. You may also wish to speak to social services directly if you wish to know anything further.
SeparatedDads - 3-Apr-18 @ 11:02 AM
In need of help I’ve had allegation towards me as a football coach. Thing is the social services have not fully investigated the allegation. I am 100% that the child have lied about the allegation. The child said that I was showing adult porn on my phone. This is untrue as my net work provided 02 have age restricted of 18+ this means that 02 will not allow this to happen, the only time this can happen is you have home WI FI. Please any information to get social services to get further investigation. I have a family to look after this is absolutely disgusted me. Please help
Paul - 2-Apr-18 @ 12:38 PM
My partner tapped my 4yr old daughter on the bottom as she was refused to go to sleep at 10pm and was making alot of noise and being cheeky, it left a red mark (not bruising) which i didnt notice the next day but when she went to nursery staff were helping her in the bathroomand saw the mark then referred it to social services now my partner is not allowed to stay in our family home or see my children ( i have 5) whom all ask when their dad (not biological) is coming home he has never raised a had to me or my children over the years it was not his intention to smack my daughter but to tap her bottom to reinforce what he had told her, we had both been up stairs several times to put her back to bed and told her to go to sleep from 7pm (her bed time) this happened on monday it is now friday and i have not heard anything the social services keep telling me its a police matter, the police took a statement off of me on Wednesday night, but have not spoken to my partner yet, this is ripping our family apart my children all love him and are very upset as they have not seen him since monday when i was advised he should not b allowed to stay at home, please help
Upset mumma - 30-Mar-18 @ 3:07 PM
@Traumatised- you can't take the nursery to court for checking up on your child. If there was good reason why the nursery thought SS should be called, then you have to be thankful that someone is looking out for your kid. SS get lambasted enough for overlooking possible domestic abuse - yet when they check a child, you the parents think it's an insult. That's the compensation culture for you!
AidT - 8-Feb-18 @ 2:36 PM
My 3 year old little boy bumped his ear while his dad lifted him down from his window ledge (his bed is next to his window, he steps onto the wide windowsill and hides behind his blind, he thinks it's great but we know it's dangerous and don't allow it and remove him immediately for his safety) after he pulled on the window handle while being lifted away, which jilted him, knocking his ear off the corner of the wall where it bevels into the window. When the nursery asked him how he hurt his ear his response was, my dad did it. He's only 3, I know what he said would have sounded bad but rather than ask, how did your dad do it and get the explanation of "he lifted me and I bumped it" they phoned social services. Obviously the case was closed and no further involvement from police or ss will be happening (they interviewed him, then came to my home and interviewed me and didn't even have the need to interview his dad after confirming my sons account of events with my interview) but when they first made the call my son was collected from nursery and interviewed in a police station (the school would not accommodate the interview as is usual procedure) medically examined naked, taken away by strangers and I was given no info other than that I was not allowed to collect him from nursery and not allowed to go and get him and social services we're involved, for two and a half hours I went through hell with no clue what was going on, I was literally a mess, and still feel traumatised by what happened. It feels like me and my son and his father were all put through terrible experiences over nothing and I feel the nursery is at fault. I'm nervous to even leave him there now after the experience and have been having nightmares about the whole thing since. I'm very close to my son and with him all the time, having him tore away from me by complete strangers and not being able to go to him and get him absolutely destroyed me and I feel a million times more protective over him. I'm hurt he had to be medically examined naked and go through a police interview at 3 years old. He hasn't left my side since it happened and has became clingy again after being so independent, it's affected him and me, it only lasted a short time but it's had a serious affect on us, can I take this further?
Traumatised - 7-Feb-18 @ 10:29 PM
I live with my partner. I have a child from a previous relationship and he has 2 from a previous relationship. In sept 2017 his son accused him of hitting him. It’s a lie as I was in the house at the time. His mum is bitter and trying to do anything to hurt my partner.His mum took him to the Hospital to be examined and no marks was found on him. My partner was removed from our home for a month and social services let him back home as long as I don’t leave my child un supervised but the investigation was still ongoing. The police told us it’s been sent to QPS and they’re wanting to press charges against him. It’s now the end of January 2018 and we still haven’t heard anything And my partner still can’t see his kids or make contact with them. Why is it taking so long? We’ve had no contact from the police or social workers since the beginning of December 2017 which was 2 months ago? I’m confused as to what is happening.We’ve been told that my partners ex has used this situation to her advantage and managed to get a council home out of it? How is that possible? So now he doesn’t even know where his children live.What has she done to get that? She’s the one lying but benefitting from a situation she’s putting my partner through hell. Surely she can’t get away with this. I am disgusted at social services and the council if its true. I can’t believe how men get treated in these situations. His ex is a alcoholic and violent and lies to the police yet my partner is the one getting punished. System is very sexist. It’s not always men who at fault but they’re treated like they are. Lost all faith in the police and social services after this. Thank you for reading and hope to get some answers from this post.
AnonymousMe - 31-Jan-18 @ 1:35 PM
Lls - Your Question:
Hiya. Could someone help out please? My partner who my daughter thinks is her real dad pulled her leg to stop her goin back up the stairs and she slide down a few stepsCausing friction burn on her back. Social services have taken her and she’s now staying elsewhere? He never intended to hurt her and apologised straight away. What do you think will happen? I have 2 other children which they haven’t taken I’mSo confused

Our Response:
We cannot predict what may happen. I can only direct you to Family Lives which outlines the care process, please see link here , and where you can get extra help and advice.
SeparatedDads - 16-Jan-18 @ 12:54 PM
Hiya. Could someone help out please? My partner who my daughter thinks is her real dad pulled her leg to stop her goin back up the stairs and she slide down a few steps Causing friction burn on her back. Social services have taken her and she’s now staying elsewhere? He never intended to hurt her and apologised straight away. What do you think will happen? I have 2 other children which they haven’t taken I’m So confused
Lls - 15-Jan-18 @ 8:20 PM
Some one accused me of beating my son I never touch my son I do everything for them I love them so much please I need help this issue will effect my job as taxi driver?
Deen. - 24-Nov-17 @ 10:22 PM
My 12 year old son has touch my 8 year old girl they are both saying it has stop and stop for awhile now my son has gone to stay with my sister and social services are involved my question is would social services allow my son to come if safety measures where put in place my son knows he has done wrong and swears it will never happened again and my little girl has said she is not scared of him and is happy for him to come home if it never happens again
Whattodo - 10-Nov-17 @ 1:15 PM
loulou - Your Question:
I have an eight week old baby I phoned 111 due to having every sign of meningitis except the rash or marks and then they phone ambulance they came out said she was fine I wanted second opinion so went in ambulance to hospital in hospital I noticed a purple mark on her little finger I asked what it was he said it’s fone don’t worry about it, after I had seen a few people in a and e I got put to paediatric day unit with her they checked her over said she was fine I could go home then the boss/ higher than everyone consultant came checked her over said we will have to do some bloods I will get youse moved onto a ward then they took bloods took pictures of mark then told me I had to leave my baby at hospital due to the mark being forced and now she is in care and I have been cautioned with Common assault what do I do I need my baby back

Our Response:
If your child is in care and you’re unhappy about their treatment, you can make a complaint. Talk to your child’s carer or social worker first and if you’re not happy, you can complain to your council. The Family Rights Group Advice Service helpline provides confidential support for parents, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 10-Nov-17 @ 11:20 AM
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