Home > Lies in Separation > Being Falsely Accused of Child Abuse

Being Falsely Accused of Child Abuse

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 1 Mar 2017 |
 
Accused Child Abuse Social Services

If you are accused of child abuse, whether sexual or violent in nature, or abuse that is supposed to have occurred in front of your children, you may find yourself on the receiving end of a ‘visit’ from Social Services, which may seem casual and friendly but is actually recorded on a computer and remains on a social services file indefinitely.

If Social Services decide not to do anything about it, there will be ‘no action taken’. It is well worth checking what is on the file in these circumstances to make sure that what has been recorded is accurate. You are unlikely to get an apology or thanks for your cooperation.

Further Action

If Social Services decide that they need to take further action, they can hold a ‘core assessment’ meeting where they can direct you to do certain things as a parent. Your child could be put on the ‘at risk’ register. If this happens, it could be that your authority over your child’s welfare may be shared with Social Services, or your child could be taken into care, or adopted into another family.

Your Child’s File

Whatever information is on file about your child, it can be seen by medical professionals, health visitors, teachers and school staff, housing authorities, police, public and some voluntary workers who have contact with children, and youth workers. That is why it is important to ensure that whatever is recorded is correct.

The Meeting With Social Services

Although this is often sold to people as ‘a little chat’, you should NOT treat it as such. Make sure you bring someone with you who you know and trust as a witness, and make sure you tape record the meeting. Ask everyone there whether they have any objection to you recording the meeting – they should not. Use a ‘conference microphone’ so that you get a clear definition of what everyone says. If you know what the meeting is going to be about, bring any documentation that you think will help. No matter how nice they are to you, remember they are there to do a job – which is to see whether you are an unfit parent or not. They are not paid to be kind to you.

The Good News

As public bodies are terrified of being lambasted in the media, they can have a tendency to over-react to any kind of concern expressed over a child’s welfare. There does not have to be strong evidence in order to trigger a referral to Social Services. Sometimes it is simply an opinion, a suspicion, or an impression that a public employee has, although there are rules and concerns must be ‘evidence based.’

Although this might seem shocking, a considerable number of referrals to Social Services are not investigated at all because they are deemed to be without merit. Although figures vary between local authorities, those that are not investigated at all amount to around 55% of all referrals. If there is genuinely nothing wrong, and the referral has been made mistakenly, or maliciously, just make sure you take the precautions described above. Act professionally, tell the truth and make sure that you do not say anything even in jest that could be misinterpreted.

False accusations are not uncommon where one partner is looking for ways to 'punish' the other. It's not always accusations of child abuse either...often an ex will falsely accuse you of domestic violence or even rape. Our articles:
Being Falsely Accused of Domestic Abuse
and
Being Falsely Accused of Rape
offer some advice about what to do in those situations.

** NEW** Separated Dads Chat Room & Forum

The Separated Dads Forum is a place where you can discuss relevant issues and concerns including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or just have a general chat with other dads.

Please help us launch it and make it a great resource for dads going through difficult times. We hope to see you on the Forum soon....

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
[Add a Comment]
Parwani - Your Question:
Please help me my partner accused me I was threatened her and shout and smack the kids and I was beating her always but the women refugees people tooke her away from me so I don't know there place however she said. But now I spoke to the solicitor to have child contact arrangements with the kids but the social said to my solicitor they should write to them. please any help or advice may I see my kids or what will be the next step we have not history of abuse just she made I abused her and threatened her but I wonder if I can see my kids or not?

Our Response:
I cannot give you any more advice than your solicitor already has. You have no legal right to see your kids if your ex has refused access over a domestic incident - as advised by your solicitor, you would have to apply to court. We cannot predict what a court will decide, it will always decide on what it thinks is in the best interests of your children.
SeparatedDads - 2-Mar-17 @ 12:16 PM
Please help me my partner accused me I was threatened her and shout and smack the kids and I was beating her always but the women refugees people tooke her away from me so I don't know there place however she said . But now I spoke to the solicitor to have child contact arrangements with the kids but the social said to my solicitor they should write to them. please any help or advice may I see my kids or what will be the next step we have not history of abuse just she made I abused her and threatened her but I wonder if I can see my kids or not?
Parwani - 1-Mar-17 @ 1:36 PM
I'm separated from my wife I have 3 children my 5 year old has accused me of hurting her social have given the kids to their mother and I got arrested for child cruelty last night she has some bruises but I have not done these I wouldn't hurt any of my kids I've not been charged yet I'm petrified as they trying to through book at me and I know I've done nothing wrong
Berto - 26-Nov-16 @ 2:19 PM
Please help. I've been with hubby 14 yrs (married 13) I had 4 year old daughter when we got together.We've had 5 children together since and are still very much in love. Our eldest (his step) recently falsely accused Hubby of historical abuse and rape incl right up until May this year, daughter is 19 next month. Hubby was arrested, questioned, on bail till January. He was not allowed home for 35 days on social services request.Social have now completed their risk assessments and he came home yesterday but is still under investigation.No evidence found and our daughter has always been a massive attention seeker and liar constantly making up stories.She had accused a young lad in the army at the beginning of the year which ended in court martial, the boy was found not guilty.Our daughter is texting we further stories and all the time changing and contacting the other children which is scaring them and myself.We have got stronger as a family but I'm so scared incase she creates a story that she can carry off to be more believed, do we have any protection against this either during or after the investigation, and also can I get a restraining order against her? Please advise, I'm desperate to protect our other children from her, and of course my husband.I am completely behind him even though social have said I have to be the supervisor with children while he's at home during investigation as it could be possible he's guilty. It's like it's never going to end. I'm pretending to be brave and strong and were getting counselling to deal with what she's done to us and the children, this has also affected hubby's side of the family, my daughter has been raised as though she's his own and by his family, her biological wanted nothing to do with her since she was 3 months.I hope someone can help. Thanks x
Lou - 25-Nov-16 @ 4:03 PM
Please help. I've been with hubby 14 yrs (married 13) I had 4 year old daughter when we got together.We've had 5 children together since and are still very much in love. Our eldest (his step) recently falsely accused Hubby of historical abuse and rape incl right up until May this year, daughter is 19 next month. Hubby was arrested, questioned, on bail till January. He was not allowed home for 35 days on social services request.Social have now completed their risk assessments and he came home yesterday but is still under investigation.No evidence found and our daughter has always been a massive attention seeker and liar constantly making up stories.She had accused a young lad in the army at the beginning of the year which ended in court martial, the boy was found not guilty.Our daughter is texting we further stories and all the time changing and contacting the other children which is scaring them and myself.We have got stronger as a family but I'm so scared incase she creates a story that she can carry off to be more believed, do we have any protection against this either during or after the investigation, and also can I get a restraining order against her? Please advise, I'm desperate to protect our other children from her, and of course my husband.I am completely behind him even though social have said I have to be the supervisor with children while he's at home during investigation as it could be possible he's guilty. It's like it's never going to end. I'm pretending to be brave and strong and were getting counselling to deal with what she's done to us and the children, this has also affected hubby's side of the family, my daughter has been raised as though she's his own and by his family, her biological wanted nothing to do with her since she was 3 months.I hope someone can help. Thanks x
Lou - 25-Nov-16 @ 3:40 PM
... Although I always tried to help him see things more objectively, I should have been ready for this - that he may one day accuse me too. It is just a matter of time. I will continue to contact him from time to time, especially on important dates. I will continue to love him deeply. But if he chooses to hate me or hate me more due to his dad's words about me, I don't think there is much I can do about it. At the end of the day, I need some peace in my soul. I need to take care of myself and my younger son. And he, though autistic, still needs to learn about responsibilities and integrity. I love life. I feel that finally I can walk with my head up. I have been through a lot and have thought that life had been so unfair to me until today. Compared to what some of you experienced, I made an earlier exit to avoid incoming legal mess that could drag me into impossible mental abyss. But through you I convinced myself I had done the right thing. My son is finally enjoying his dad's attention after so many years of absence. Though they had two big physical fights, they have more common interests (even obsessions) and do get along easier. His dad also gives him tons of time to stay alone, even eat dinner in his bedroom. I wish him good luck. I am working on myself and hoping that I can continue to do well in my career and raise my little one to be a productive person with good personality.
Susan - 25-Nov-16 @ 8:49 AM
.......... This totally broke my heart. I have been depressed even suicidal. I felt like a failure. All my friends asked me why I did it. They just couldn't get it. And I have lost the strength to explain, after realizing the more I explain, the worse I would feel. It is funny how I can turn from a perfect mom of two healthy, gifted boys in all kinds of sports, music, cultural and religious activities as well as entertainment to a loser mom overnight. Life is so ironic. I reread the email from my son last year where he congratulated me on my birthday and used many words to describe how awesome I was as his mom. Did he really say that? I can't believe it myself. But he did. So I guess on some days he knew I was a great mom. I guess even he did not know why he could be so frustrated and mean to me. I guess he didn't understand the consequence of his words or behaviors - how they could jeopardize our loving relationship which has survived a lot of hardships and is supposed to get stronger. I guess he didn't really mean what he said or wrote or drew. I guess he never meant to hurt me physically. I guess it was autism. I guess puberty made it worse. I guess I did nothing wrong. But I have got to stop explaining myself. I have got to stop regretting the past and thinking about what I could have done. I have got to stop sending him emails, messages, postcards, clothes, gifts, giftcards, etc. I have only been rejected or cursed so far. I have got to focus on my job and my younger son who is not autistic. He needs his mom, too. Reading your stories convinced me that my fears when he accused me were not unfounded. What happened to you could have happened to me. Even though I have not changed the divorce judgment only allowed reduction in child support in hope that he may come back to me, I am not sure that he wouldn't assault me again or wrongly accuse me again. When my son was 7, he had a close friend with ADHD. One day they played at his friend's house for a while and then they came back. My son told me that his friend's dad spit to his face. I could not believe it as his friend's dad has been very nice to him. But for some odd reason, his friend (who has low self esteem and believes he is stupid) said yes yes my dad did that when I asked him what happened. So I felt that I had to ask his friend's dad what happened. Although I tried to not sound accusational at all, they were still very offended and totally cut off contact with us. My son lost his best friend and I lost a family that used to be very kind and welcoming and helpful to us. I think part of the reason is that autistic children are very sensitive and egocentric. Once they formed a misconception, no one can convince them otherwise. I remember how my son accused his coach a racist and his swim team members of kicking him intentionally in the pool in order to slow him down. I mean, he has told me so many stories about others offending him over the years. Although I al
Susan - 25-Nov-16 @ 8:42 AM
Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. I am not sure that I can be of much help but I chose to let go when my high functioning autistic son said I abused him to the social worker that I got to help us deal with his aggression mainly towards me. I have worked so hard to raise him and train him all sorts of skills throughout the years and spent all my money and energy on him, with little to spare on his little brother. And this was what I got?! To be accused of child abuse by my own son who I have loved more than anyone in this world?! When the social worker probed him to talk more, he got emotional and clenched his fists and said I abused him by following him around in the house. The truth was he had meltdowns and damaged things in the house and I felt that I had to get him to stop. Of course he would run away from me and of course I felt that I had to tell him it was wrong and he shouldn't do it again. Since my son didn't argue about the facts. The social worker was able to not believe it was any child abuse. But it scared the hell out of me. I was already on the edge of a mental breakdown due to his constant aggression, both verbal and physical. He drew pictures of killing me and posted them on the wall, too. He wished me to get a car accident before he got on school bus. He told other parents I was the worse mom ever. Though the social worker believed me this time, what if he keeps saying it over and over? I was sure an investigation would follow and totally ruin our always very fragile life. I have raised him alone most of his life. Yet now his one word may make me lose the custody of both him and his very innocent little brother any day. This totally destroyed my faith in any good future for us. Though his therapists and the social workers kept saying that I should call the police next time he assaults me, I figured (after doingmy own research) that it would not stop him as he would be sent home within 24 hours unless I was seriously hurt and had to be hospitalized. It seems to be a result no less miserable that what it was already. I chose to send him to his dad who lived more than a thousand miles away. It was the hardest decision I have ever made. And I regretted it the same day he was gone. And I have tried all kinds of means to get him back. But he said I abandoned him and he would kill me if I dare to show up again in front of him (I flew there to see him and possibly get him back). He violently attacked me with a wooden sword and then a baseball bat right after his dad left the house with his girlfriend. This totally broke my heart. I have been depressed even suicidal. I felt like a failure. All my friends asked me why I did it. They just couldn't get it. And I have lost the strength to explain, after realizing the more I explain, the worse I would feel. It is funny how I can turn from a perfect mom of two healthy, gifted boys in all kinds of sports, music, cultural and religious activities as well as entertainment to a
Susan - 25-Nov-16 @ 8:34 AM
Please I've gone threw every possible step and my only step now is to contact you regarding my sons safety .. I attended a meeting yesterday regarding my son Rhys blankson Blake who's mother is under a investigation on section act 47 the meeting took place and it was adviced for Rhys to stay with his fatherdue to great concerns of Rhys being with his mum as she has kicked him out the house at the age of 8 at 11pm in 4 years old bottoms no top on and a little coat also in shoes that was 2 sizes to small for him during that meeting it was also noted that he had not been attended school since 8th November and been at home left by him self the school also had great concern when Rhys came into school telling them that his mother kicked and pushed him down. In the meeting we had yesterday the mother was adviced not to pick him up from school and if she did social services would take legal action .. however this did happen today and we was told that the police are out looking for her and when they find her Rhys will be brought back to the care of me however this didn't happen and Rhys had ended up in the care of his grandmother (on the mother side) we have seen on the new some many of these cases where Social services have made the wrong decision and this is the case Rhys is in danger at his nans house as the mother is always there Rhys has told us before he went to school he was scared to go back to school because he didn't want his mum to come and take him so she could hurt him please social services have been no help and we are asking what my rights as a father are what can we do regarding Rhys I'mvery worried and we need to take action asapwe have videos regarding the mother we have a lot of evidence and the school is strongly on our side
Gary - 22-Nov-16 @ 6:39 PM
I am a dad to 2 kids. I am separated from their mother. we have a good relationship and get on well. today I found out that my daughter (9) went to school and told the teacher that I hit her. this is a lie but now I am concerned for a few reasons. 1. why is she acting out now? she can't even remember me and her mother being together. we always have fun and laugh a lot and she says she explained joys our time together. 2. school called their mother and told her what she said and now their mother doesn't know what to believe and there is a possibility that the school will raise this issue to social services. I have ever nothing to be guilty of but I am worriedto the point of feelingsick. I just don't understand why she would say something like this. I couldn't imagine my life without her in it. I don't think she understands the serious implications lies like this could have on people. any one in a similar situation please reach outility and give .evidence some advice.
Luke - 18-Nov-16 @ 8:01 PM
@Rob - It sounds like an awful situation. At least there is evidence your ex has been lying and you have not been charged. CJ
Cat - 17-Nov-16 @ 1:44 PM
I'm going through a horrible divorce and custody battle. My ex called cps on me over a year ago saying I choke my son and nothing substanciated. Then in July she had my 7 year old daughter go into her counsoler and tell them I fondled her 3 times over a year ago. She lost custody in april and her mother has temporary custody. Then had my daughter tell her counsoler and the psycologist that cps sent her to and lie. The state police investigated me and chose not to charge me with anything but cps is waiting for the psychological report to come back. And my ex was diagnosed mentally retarded and his that from me the whole time I was married. She is also currently on trial for armed robbery. I'm at my witts end.
Rob - 15-Nov-16 @ 10:19 PM
Hello, I was accused of different things and had to fight my way through. I am a mum but feel I should be with the Dads fighting as I agree with the points dad make more often. I pay CSA. Get yourself a Barrister they are far better than solicitor. Find a Barrister that also sits as a Judge. They are expensive but they usually know the Judge in your court room at a different level to a normal solicitor. Stay strong! I find it incredibly difficult as the father of my childrens aim in life was to destroy my life when I left him. I wish you the best of luck. Why should these parents get Child Tax Credits and CSA it is crazy is this country! The children would benefit so much more having both parents in a stable and good emotional place. One parent getting so much money is wasted and not put to good use. By the other parent being able to support themselves and pay a mortgage it shows the children a good role model. Yet CSA take from one and give more to the other. Don't give up! I can witter on too as it gets to me. I left my ex years ago and at times I don't feel mentally strong and seem to wish the next few years away. I then think my ex has taken everything. A social worker once told me to go and get a degree apparently CSA can't get you then, your children will be proud and at the end on a larger wage. You will really show her then. Good Luck!!
Y - 4-Nov-16 @ 7:37 PM
Hi I'm being accused of being abusive to my ten year old son is behavior since my x girlfreind left another relationship for a new one has been unacceptable .he's nipped punched and kicked me she has taught him to get is own way how she use to treat me when I was with her by kicking off at me it has already been to courtI've registered my son at cahms to try and get to the bottom of this I feel that I'm walking on egg shells that I can't discipline my son is this cohesive abuse against me .one of the reasons it went to court was my son pulled my partners dogs tail and it nipped him he has never been good with pets this has caused a lot of grief and upset has we have to board the dog in kennels and accuses me of putting the dog first before our son when in the matter of fact all I want his my son with me this what the court order told me to do when 3 week after this incident happened her dog bit him and the court didn't do anything about it and had evidence of this .I've been on medication for depression for the past 3 years due to my dad dieing I had to leave my job on medical grounds and all of this about my son i have my fair share of seeing my son but yet she still accuses me of abusing my son when I love him to bits I'm at my wits end she has even got my partner involved in it all and accusing her thanks for readingany advice would be grateful
Brownie - 4-Nov-16 @ 10:42 AM
if someone is accused of sexual child abuse what rights does the mother have to be in the room or see the video of her child being interviewed when she has no charges against her?
deb - 3-Nov-16 @ 11:48 AM
Hello, I am currently going through a pretty messy custody battle for my daughter. Since I left my ex for someone else the ex has been making my life a living hell. The ex has contacted CPS several times and I have had CPS at my home once already and again coming up soon. Apparently my daughter tells the ex that my current partner has hit her. I know that this isn't true because of the way she interacts with him. She loves him and laughs and had fun. I also know that my daughter makes stories up about being hit for example, she tells me that Tom, my partner, hit her last night and she wasn't even here she was at her dads. I don't know why she says these things and don't know what to do about these accusations. I feel like I have no one on my side and fear I will lose my daughter over false accusations. What do I do??
Ash - 17-Sep-16 @ 9:25 PM
steve - Your Question:
I have been accused of domestic abuse and it got a no case to call in court since this I have not seen my kids my ex wife has went missing with my 3 kids which I am on all birth certificates and all born after 2009 without my permission since this it has now been 3 weeks I have tried with the social work to find out how my kids are and were they have been moved to they are saying my ex wife does not want me to know but every time I try to contact the social work they do not tell me nothing not even how my kids are I have went in to the office they don't seem to want to see me there always busy all the time I phone they do not return my phone calls its shocking to say the least I am currently receiving legal advice but am finding this really hard as I don't know were my kids are or how there well being is so am hoping writing this some one can give me some advice on what I can do next apart from the legal advice I am getting thanks look forward to hearing back

Our Response:
You would have to apply through court to see your children on a C100 contact form and a C4 form which is an application to the court for an order for the disclosure of a child's whereabouts. While the courts may still be able to withold the address if your ex requests this, it will allow the courts to put a trace on your children in orde to allow you to apply for access.
SeparatedDads - 15-Sep-16 @ 2:48 PM
I have been accused of domestic abuse and it got a no case to call in court since this I have not seen my kids my ex wife has went missing with my 3 kids which I am on all birth certificates and all born after 2009 without my permission since this it has now been 3 weeks I have tried with the social work to find out how my kids are and were they have been moved to they are saying my ex wife does not want me to know but every time I try to contact the social work they do not tell me nothing not even how my kids are I have went in to the office they don't seem to want to see me there always busy all the time I phone they do not return my phone calls its shocking to say the least I am currently receiving legal advice but am finding this really hard as I don't know were my kids are or how there well being is so am hoping writing this some one can give me some advice on what I can do next apart from the legal advice I am getting thanks look forward to hearing back
steve - 15-Sep-16 @ 12:50 PM
Hi, i have been threatened, shouted at,attacked and black mailed in all kind of ways even taken to court travelling a distance of 200+ cases to court paid R 1800 for DNA pertanity test and results came out negetive still continue to accusse me and claim i bribed the honourable court and its associates, what would do if you were in this situation.
Ndo - 1-Sep-16 @ 7:40 AM
I am in a nightmare at the moment and not sure what to do. My partner left 2 years ago. I have two young children. He has it in for me and has been blackmailing me with the house etc. This has been daily for 2 years. He causes arguments between me and my 11 year old son. Under the extreme pressure i have been in and my son having behavior problems, I have shamefully smacked his bum. He got in his dads car the next day, Told him and he has persuaded them to go into school and tell their teachers. Both children when I never touched my daughter. I have been interviewed by police, social services any my life is in tatters. The children are with their dad who wont communicate with me and is taunting me by making lies up and fuelling the fire. He told people he left because I was violent to him and the children when the truth is he left me for someone else and he beat me once. I never reported it so noon will believe me. Anyway, I havnt really been informed whats happening apart from their is a meeting taking place on thursday this week with police and social svcs to decide where the children go. I am frightened to deat that the children will say they want to live with him (its more fun in his house cause there are no limits. They can do what they want). I am just left to worry, not sleep and I have no support. I feel like this man has ruined my life and slowly stripped everything away. If I lose my children I won;t get tax credits and I can't get away from him and buy him out of the house. My whole life is my children and I miss them terribly. I accept I smacked my child (they said I bruised him but I didnt) he got the bruise from wrestling. I arent saying that to get myself off the hook but it is true. My children have made out that they live in a hell hole but they do not. They have not said anything about the lovely life we have and everything I do with them. There dad has no job. Can anyone give me any advice. I feel like I'm helpless...... I have to wait for the CPS to decide to take the case further too alongside this. I have no idea if this means in the meantime i cant see my children. Its been nearly two weeks now. I miss themn terribly. I finish this week for the summer holidays. I cant spend yime with them. We have a holiday booked. We havn;t been able to afford to go since their dad left. Its such a shame Thanks
Em - 20-Jul-16 @ 12:29 PM
Hi readers I've read lots of your same stories this system desinged to protect children at risk is a cash incentive for the ones stealing our kids its easy to speculate events and occurrences however unfairly kids pressurised into disclosure s renders no truth because immature children can exaggerate events coupled by social workers opinions and coercing tackicts wen parents are not around did he do this and that may I add inn this is unjust tactics because every child can have access to a solicitor wen questioned by police during a investigation process its difficult for any parent to face unfair practices and that's not all it goes further if accused by authorities of abuse this weyher true or false this leaves a mark somewhere against yourself by being dragged through court humilited and degraded usually brought on by social workers attempting to gain control Of your kids mountainous lies follow and this line of barbaric separation of kids and parents should not be alloud until proved against parents not on the balance of probabilities but factual events but I know the way the local department s around the country are getting away with crimes against ordinary parents they claim police investigation s As a scaremongering hoping the parents will give therchildren over to them were the kids can be placed in foster care with pre,plans to possibly adopt you'll probs also be subjected to child neglect charges and is your 1 of the unlucky ones a police raid may occur to your home whether the allegations are true or false for example your selling drugs or stolen property this may all be incorrect the Socialwork dept and powers by a multisgency core group and there co,workers police housing schools and nursery placements are all conjoined and will make assumptions on your child's schooling dresscode appearance timekeeping etc and talk behind your backs if they have a small issue example headlice smells,latecomings,truenting all make a picture of neglect especially if you ghave a large family and are juggiling care for lots of kids at the same time Socialwork ERS discrimination against larger families is disgusting because they categorized one child gets less or more than the other sibling and challenge your parenting skills were contact has been cut due to assumptions oragred deals by children's hearings this only fuels there determination to dividyou as a family by eventually by slashing more contact backed up by there scaremongering during the children's panel system however unfairly this may seem the social services have 1 thing above the parents and that's the law on there side however the situation what is shown to have occurred may never have happened this is Socialwork allegations not the children as they twist every word on care and portray I'll parents unable to provide to be nonsense all I can advise others if your facing this now or ongoing if you've did nothing wrong ten police investigations questions on your children won't pul
Jimmy - 4-Jun-16 @ 2:07 PM
For 10 years, my ex has had it out for me. Starting with the original allocation of parental responsibility back in 2005. Fast forward 10 years, I am married, and my wife and I have a 20 month old daughter. I have remained compliant with the parental orders, and have been relatively on track with child support. Christmas of 2015 was the last time I saw my daughter Molli (who is now 12, the child I have with my ex). We had a good holiday, and Molli went back with her mom a few days after christmas. After almost a month of not seeing molli, and not able to reach my ex on the phone or email, I went a filed a motion basically holding her in contempt of court for restricting me of my parenting time. I think it was 2 days after filing my motion, I recieved a phone call from social services and was told I had to report to court for a dependency neglect hearing. It wasn't until I got to court when I realised what i was being accused of. Serious incest rape, along with drug and alcohol use, and an array of other accusations. I was told a criminal investigation was taking place, and restraining orders were put in place completely alienating me from my daughter molli. This all hit me like a freight train. For the first month I slipped into a serious depression. I figured the only way I could proove my innocence was by taking a polygraph test, which I did in February of 2016. Specific questions were asked. I answered truthfully and passed the polygraph test showing no sign of deception. The polygraph has done nothing for me. About a month later, 15 police showed up to my house, and conducted a search warrant searching for specific items noted by my 12 year old daughter. That search was conducted last week. I told the detective my attorneys have advised I do not speak to anyone regarding this matter. The detective told me she would be presenting the "evidence" to the DA and I would know within the next 2 weeks whether they press charges on me. That happened a week ago and still no charges or anything. My attorney thinks they are going to press charges but that's just his thought. I am still living at home with my wife and youngest daughter. I am living in a paranoid manner thinking everytime our dogs bark, it's surely the police coming to arrest me. I need help. I have 2 attorneys monitoring the investigation. I also have another attorney handling the d&n case. I still don't feel adequately protected and am quite frankly in fear for my life
sam - 16-Apr-16 @ 2:36 PM
For 10 years, my ex has had it out for me. Starting with the original allocation of parental responsibility back in 2005. Fast forward 10 years, I am married, and my wife and I have a 20 month old daughter. I have remained compliant with the parental orders, and have been relatively on track with child support. Christmas of 2015 was the last time I saw my daughter Molli (who is now 12, the child I have with my ex). We had a good holiday, and Molli went back with her mom a few days after christmas. After almost a month of not seeing molli, and not able to reach my ex on the phone or email, I went a filed a motion basically holding her in contempt of court for restricting me of my parenting time. I think it was 2 days after filing my motion, I recieved a phone call from social services and was told I had to report to court for a dependency neglect hearing. It wasn't until I got to court when I realised what i was being accused of. Serious incest rape, along with drug and alcohol use, and an array of other accusations. I was told a criminal investigation was taking place, and restraining orders were put in place completely alienating me from my daughter molli. This all hit me like a freight train. For the first month I slipped into a serious depression. I figured the only way I could proove my innocence was by taking a polygraph test, which I did in February of 2016. Specific questions were asked. I answered truthfully and passed the polygraph test showing no sign of deception. The polygraph has done nothing for me. About a month later, 15 police showed up to my house, and conducted a search warrant searching for specific items noted by my 12 year old daughter. That search was conducted last week. I told the detective my attorneys have advised I do not speak to anyone regarding this matter. The detective told me she would be presenting the "evidence" to the DA and I would know within the next 2 weeks whether they press charges on me. That happened a week ago and still no charges or anything. My attorney thinks they are going to press charges but that's just his thought. I am still living at home with my wife and youngest daughter. I am living in a paranoid manner thinking everytime our dogs bark, it's surely the police coming to arrest me. I need help. I have 2 attorneys monitoring the investigation. I also have another attorney handling the d&n case. I still don't feel adequately protected and am quite frankly in fear for my life
sam - 16-Apr-16 @ 2:08 PM
I have just spent two months on remand spent 15k on legal fees, to have the cps offer no evidence on false allegations made against me by my ex partner and her new partner against my 3 year old daughter. I've been to see a family solicitor who told me it would cost around 20k I would go in trail again but in a family court they go off a balance of probabilities rather tha without reasonable doubt that I could have done what I was accused of, if found guilty in the family court I would not be able to work with children ever again, also if I had children with anyone else the social workers would be involved,I am a qualified youth worker and have my own business youth train St. Helens we deliver a boxing based course to problematic children with challenging behaviour, when I met my ex partner she had a 3 year old girl which I have looked after until she was 14 when me and her mum decided to separate. I pay a DDevery week for both children and until this had my daughter 4 nights a week and my step daughter stayed with me once a a week,I have never had any problems with any child, I feel lost and really don't know what to do if there's is anything you can advise it would be much appreciated
Parr panda - 2-Apr-16 @ 10:54 AM
I have just spent two months on remand spent 15k on legal fees, to have the cps offer no evidence on false allegations made against me by my ex partner and her new partner against my 3 year old daughter. I've been to see a family solicitor who told me it would cost around 20k I would go in trail again but in a family court they go off a balance of probabilities rather tha without reasonable doubt that I could have done what I was accused of, if found guilty in the family court I would not be able to work with children ever again, also if I had children with anyone else the social workers would be involved,I am a qualified youth worker and have my own business youth train St. Helens we deliver a boxing based course to problematic children with challenging behaviour, when I met my ex partner she had a 3 year old girl which I have looked after until she was 14 when me and her mum decided to separate. I pay a DDevery week for both children and until this had my daughter 4 nights a week and my step daughter stayed with me once a a week,I have never had any problems with any child, I feel lost and really don't know what to do if there's is anything you can advise it would be much appreciated
Parr panda - 2-Apr-16 @ 10:51 AM
Hello I have a long story to share and get opinions . I have been a babysitter for about 3 years after I had my son ( I am 20 years old) anyways I normally just babysit friends kids and all but one day someone knocked on my door (I live in an apartment complex and the lady downstairs brought her friend ) and asked if I could watch her kids because she will no longer be able to watch them . Anyways I've never meet them before and I always feel bad saying no to kids so I said sure . It would only be 3 days a week for about 3 hours.it was 2 little kids a boy who is 4 and a baby girl who is 9 months . Well when I started watching them everything was good expect the kids that I was watching were having a hard time playing with a baby so there was an incident where the baby got hurt (which I called the dad to let him know what happend and he said it was fine that his kids play rough at home) . The second insistent happend while I was cooking and the kids were playing in the living room(my apartment is kind of closed of so I can't really see from the kitchen to the living room ) anyways I hear the baby cry and I rush to the kitchen and asked her brother what happens since he is the one that talks a little more and he said one of the girls I babysit hit the baby with a toy . So when the dad got there to pick them up I told them what happens and he said it was fine she had only a scratch or two . Well after that I felt uncomfortable watching the baby because I didn't really know the parents and it was the second insident so I didn't wanna be responsible for anything and happening to the baby. Well the week after I get a visit from cps! And was being accused of hurting the baby ! It was the worst day of my life . I've never in my life done anything to a child and have never been accused of anything other than this time. I don't know what to do if I should get a lawyer ? Or down thing . The parents have gone through child abused before because the dad had done it to the older kids and he actually beat his wife (the wife called me the next day freaking out and told me all this ) so not sure if the dad did something and now I'm being blamed for it .
Erlinescanilla - 29-Mar-16 @ 9:38 PM
My husband got accused of child abuse by his son.He supposedly told the school his father was beating him.When we went to get the kids foe a visit their mother said the kids were sick.I thought that seemed strange so I looked at my daughters Facebook account and she said to her boyfriend that her mom was getting sole custody because her brother was being beaten.I was in shock and shaking.I called my husband who called his ex wife and she wanted to know how we heard about that? We confirmed that we looked at the daughters Facebook, we were immediately blocked and social services came to our home.They interviewed my children whom live with us, whom told social services they have never seen my husband ever even spank his son.The case came back unsubstantiated but my husband had to have supervised visits for 3 months.During those visits the caseworker was there at all times and submitted letters to the lawyer stating the children were loving and happy to see their dad and couldn't understand why they were even having to have supervised visits.The kids have been in therapy and my husband goes too with his ex wife.The therapist thinks things are going great and didn't think the kids need to come back to therapy for a couple months.The ex wife wants a new therapist.The kids got to come back for partial visits Saturday-Sunday. During that time the ex wife calls the kids non stop.What right does my husband have? We have a lawyer but if he was found unsubstantiated, and told from children services that the kids seem really happy, how come he doesn't have all of his rights back?
Confused step-mom - 21-Mar-16 @ 2:47 PM
I have a 8 year daughter, her attendants is 100% and she is never late for school, she's never had a day off school or gone into school with any marks or anything she's been going to the same school since nursery (2011) so the school well knows my child. My child return to school after the February half term. A teachers assissant overheard a another child telling my daughter how her mother beats her & grounds with a belt and the teacher assissant assumed it was my daughter that this had happened to. They questioned & questioned my child & stripped her to see these so called marks & said there was marks and she had a black eye all this happened on the Monday I wasn't informed til Wednesday when I went into school they had called police & social workers. I removed my child from the school and took my daughter straight to my GP where they gave my child the once over and confirmed there wasn't any marks nor a black eye. The next day the police came out to see me and my daughter and they too confirmed my child did not have any marks to what the school was saying. 3 weeks later the 2 social workers turned up at my door they spoke to myself, my child I had to show them round my house they said they still needed to check with police and the school and my GP which you would have thought they would have done that already after 3 weeks. 2 days later the social services show up again with some form/contract to sign to say I won't hit my child. But the thing is I never did in the first place and they haven't even heard my daughters statement. What can I do as I'm on the verge of a breakdown I've never had involvement with social services before???
On the verge of a br - 19-Mar-16 @ 9:20 AM
Sash- Your Question:
My 6yr old son is extremely accident prone, he has the ability to fall over from standing still. For about 6 months, around the time my daughter started needing more attention, my sons behaviour has been atrocious. Shouting, lying etc etc. Last week while his dad was away, he started shouting at me, stormed off, ran upstairs, and in doing so he slipped and fell from the top of the stairs, hitting the radiator at the bottom. He had some marks on him including a cut under his nose and on his lip. He then got up, stormed off upstairs again shouting that I did it on purpose and he's going to tell everyone I hurt him! Next day at school, he tells his teacher when asked what happened to his face, that I strangled him and threw him on the hard floor! They call me in for a chat, unknowing what my son had said. They then didn't talk and ask whats going on but straight away accused me of child abuse, not listening to me at all. This was extremely distressing as I held my 9 month old girl and currently being pregnant as well. They called child services, the next day they visited my son at school and asked him questions including, what did you say that the teacher (his response was 'I can't remember') and what happened, to which he told them the truth! They now want to meet with me and my partner for an assessment because they don't belive him and think we have forced him to say he fell! Surely he told the truth and that should be the end of it. He couldn't even remember the lie he told his teacher! I'm terrified they're not going to listen to us and take not only him but my baby away!

Our Response:
If there are concerns about the safety or welfare of a child or children, once you have had your assessment, your child's later explanation will be accepted, or it may be decided that a further investigation is needed. It is understandable that in order to safeguard and promote your child’s welfare, precautions need to be taken to ensure there is no reasonable cause to believe that your child may be at risk of significant harm.
SeparatedDads - 8-Mar-16 @ 10:53 AM
My 6yr old son is extremely accident prone, he has the ability to fall over from standing still. For about 6 months, around the time my daughter started needing more attention, my sons behaviour has been atrocious. Shouting, lying etc etc. Last week while his dad was away, he started shouting at me, stormed off, ran upstairs, and in doing so he slipped and fell from the top of the stairs, hitting the radiator at the bottom. He had some marks on him including a cut under his nose and on his lip. He then got up, stormed off upstairs again shouting that I did it on purpose and he's going to tell everyone I hurt him! Next day at school, he tells his teacher when asked what happened to his face,that I strangled him and threw him on the hard floor! They call me in for a chat, unknowing what my son had said. They then didn't talk and ask whats going on but straight away accused me of child abuse, not listening to me at all. This was extremely distressing as I held my 9 month old girl and currently being pregnant as well. They called child services, the next day they visited my son at school and asked him questions including, what did you say that the teacher(his response was 'I can't remember') and what happened, to which he told them the truth! They now want to meet with me and my partner for an assessment because they don't belive him and think we have forced him to say he fell! Surely he told the truth and that should be the end of it. He couldn't even remember the lie he told his teacher! I'm terrified they're not going to listen to us and take not only him but my baby away!
Sash - 7-Mar-16 @ 11:20 AM
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice...
Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Latest Comments
Further Reading...
Our Most Popular...
Add to my Yahoo!
Add to Google
Stumble this
Add to Twitter
Add To Facebook
RSS feed
You should seek independent professional advice before acting upon any information on the SeparatedDads website. Please read our Disclaimer.