Home > Lies in Separation > Being Falsely Accused of Child Abuse

Being Falsely Accused of Child Abuse

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 2 Sep 2021 |
 
Accused Child Abuse Social Services

If you are accused of child abuse, whether sexual or violent in nature, or abuse that is supposed to have occurred in front of your children, you may find yourself on the receiving end of a ‘visit’ from Social Services, which may seem casual and friendly but is actually recorded on a computer and remains on a social services file indefinitely.

If Social Services decide not to do anything about it, there will be ‘no action taken’. It is well worth checking what is on the file in these circumstances to make sure that what has been recorded is accurate. You are unlikely to get an apology or thanks for your cooperation.

Further Action

If Social Services decide that they need to take further action, they can hold a ‘core assessment’ meeting where they can direct you to do certain things as a parent. Your child could be put on the ‘at risk’ register. If this happens, it could be that your authority over your child’s welfare may be shared with Social Services, or your child could be taken into care, or adopted into another family.

Your Child’s File

Whatever information is on file about your child, it can be seen by medical professionals, health visitors, teachers and school staff, housing authorities, police, public and some voluntary workers who have contact with children, and youth workers. That is why it is important to ensure that whatever is recorded is correct.

The Meeting With Social Services

Although this is often sold to people as ‘a little chat’, you should NOT treat it as such. Make sure you bring someone with you who you know and trust as a witness, and make sure you tape record the meeting. Ask everyone there whether they have any objection to you recording the meeting – they should not. Use a ‘conference microphone’ so that you get a clear definition of what everyone says. If you know what the meeting is going to be about, bring any documentation that you think will help. No matter how nice they are to you, remember they are there to do a job – which is to see whether you are an unfit parent or not. They are not paid to be kind to you.

The Good News

As public bodies are terrified of being lambasted in the media, they can have a tendency to over-react to any kind of concern expressed over a child’s welfare. There does not have to be strong evidence in order to trigger a referral to Social Services. Sometimes it is simply an opinion, a suspicion, or an impression that a public employee has, although there are rules and concerns must be ‘evidence based.’

Although this might seem shocking, a considerable number of referrals to Social Services are not investigated at all because they are deemed to be without merit. Although figures vary between local authorities, those that are not investigated at all amount to around 55% of all referrals. If there is genuinely nothing wrong, and the referral has been made mistakenly, or maliciously, just make sure you take the precautions described above. Act professionally, tell the truth and make sure that you do not say anything even in jest that could be misinterpreted.

False accusations are not uncommon where one partner is looking for ways to 'punish' the other. It's not always accusations of child abuse either...often an ex will falsely accuse you of domestic violence or even rape. Our articles:
Being Falsely Accused of Domestic Abuse
and
Being Falsely Accused of Rape
offer some advice about what to do in those situations.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
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My step daughter has recently accused me of been pervy, i have been in her life for 8 years now, see her as my own daughter. Her mam believes that i have not done such a thing, but we have had to call it a day through fear of what might be said. I'm not ready to give up on us after all its been 8 years of our life together for something like this to be said is pretty disturbing. Just wondering if anyone else has been through this and could give advice.
sk - 2-Sep-21 @ 4:57 PM
Look im a( Bachelor and will die one I love my lifestyle)inreality I never wanted a wife and kids if that makes me weird well I guess I'm weird hey its my life and I will live it my way .(I dont need a women or a child ) I'm self efficient. And I heard all the people say what you going to do (when old) .I would like to answer that I be doing the same thing I'm doing now!!! only thing different I be bald always wanted to be a (silver fox) but no unfortunately I'm suffering male pattern baldness have more wrinkles and have a beer gut and more then likely travelling my country in a caravan with my 4 legged companion .
C laurie - 24-Aug-21 @ 1:04 AM
After reading these posts man in reality. I'm glad with my choice to let the mother and her partners have the child full time and let them rasie her without any interference from myself .I strongly believe it was in the best interests for everyone. That way there is no conflict and everyone is happy .I dont want to deal with social services or the courts and I dont want to have accusations off child abuse. Its best to just let it go. Leave the mother and her partners and her children alone .that way they are happy .and if they are happy and have you out off the way so they can be a family im 100 percent sure .they drop whatever accusations its the smartest move .it's better for everyone i stand but this .
C laurie - 23-Aug-21 @ 11:06 PM
After reading these posts it’s outrageous accusing one another off abuse .I want nothing to do with any off that .all I want is to be left alone .
Chris - 23-Aug-21 @ 7:21 AM
In reality I did the best thing I walked away .there is nothing you do once you break up .that’s it you don’t ever talk to that person again .and if you want to see your kids you have to go to (court get solicitors).I didn’t because (I don’t get on with the child’s mother)it’s best to stay well clear because in all honesty I would up in handcuffs because we hate each other and that will never change.to much bad negative history .
Chris - 23-Aug-21 @ 6:25 AM
Hi this is my first time sharing my story. I have a 10year old son whom I have shared parenting order until he is 18. Everything is okay with my contact but I went to court twice once when my son was a baby and when he was 7. Both occasion I was faced wil malicious allegations that are baseless and it was intended to defame my character and malicious allegation to stop contact with my son. Me and my ex separated when my son was around d 3 months old. Both court cases I won amd got my joint residency order. Second time my ex stopped the order and breached the order so I had to do an enforcement order. Then it went I to fact finding case and a lot of money went ther to clear my name from absurd and malicious allegations that one will laugh. I am a teacher by trade and I work with children so I have a clean CRB and my ex is out there to hurt me by now getting my son to call the NSPCC and social servise and teachers and falsely making allegations that I am abuse g him emotionally. Social servise are loving this and made a child protection plan. This is all so bizarre and I told them my ex does is using my son to go against me and making up allegation to stop ot make my co tact difficult. She is doing g that as she is jealous that I got married and have 2 more children of my own and she cannot see us being happy with my son mixing with his step siblings amd my wife. Anyway now social servise said g my son disclosed that I shout at him and tell him off and use f words and that he is scared to come home to me when it is my weekend. Now I don't k ow what to to as I have him againthis week for a week as we share term holidays. Social servise wrote me a letter that he is petrified to see me and my son does not wish to see me he will only text me from his mother's phone (my ex will tect pretend ding to be my son) but I have a court order in place. Can social aervise stop my contact without any new court application? Please advise. If I get my son I am scared that he will make up more allegations agaist me and my other children and I don't know what to do.
Ifte - 23-Aug-21 @ 12:48 AM
my wife left my daughter and me for another man, i took care my daughter aged 10, mother seeing her every second weekend, after a year she applied for divorce no problem, but she was told if she had her daughter she could get a lot bigger settlement, we fought via the court, cafcass on my side with 75% in my favour, that did not suit her she tried everything false statements to the powers and to courts nothing worked, a morning of the final hearing in court she produced a photo of a mark on my daughters upper arm, saying it was from grabbing and shaking her, i knew what the mark was it was a habit she had of comfort sucking, on the circular mark you could even faintly see the teeth marks, but the court had no alternative but to suspend the hearing yet again, 3 days later i was arrested for child abuse and bailed for 3 months, after that came to an end bailed again for 3 months, during this time i was forbidden any contact with my daughter, after the 6 months no action taken against me, BUT she had already been to court and they gave her full custody and closed the case file,without consulting with me in any way, that was more than 4 years ago, i have not seen my daughter all that time, mother and new boyfriend moved away address unknown, i am not sure as my daughter gave statements saying it happened if the mother was complicit or if it was just my daughters idea, why would she say those things against her father she know loved her so much?, she has torn my heart out, i will never recover
tony - 23-Feb-21 @ 10:18 AM
I’m being accused of rape, perversion and violence to an x girlfriend From 20 years ago when she was underage.we were a couple for 2 years while she was in college but she told the police she didn’t know how to leave me. She’s lying, I don’t know why She’s doing this and it’s killing me. I’m older than her and the police say that I shouldn’t have been with her but why, she was of legal age. We where a couple. She has reported me to the Irish police and all my family have been questioned about me when I was young. I now live in Canada with my wife and we are worried sick. I’m crying everyday. I can’t do the simplest things. My wife is in bits. I keep thinking the worst, been sent back to Ireland and been found guilty. I’m thinking of killing myself as I keep thinking I’ll be taken away from my wife and life in Canada and if I’m going to lose everything then I lose everything on my terms. I’m not coping well with this as you can see. I’m not guilty of anything but the police are taking what she has accused me of very serious.
Gaz - 5-Sep-20 @ 9:50 PM
I'm accused in schedule 2 report by cafcass that, I'm a porn addict, I pinch my children, I use inappropriate language and walk around naked. Section 7 has been ordered without facts finding. What is the likelyhood of an outcome since I applied for shared care as a result of covid19 but these lies came up after the application? I'm a litigant in person. Any legal expert here please?
Goodman - 3-Sep-20 @ 11:58 AM
My girlfriend thinks that I’m hurting her 2 year old daughter because of something she said that her mom misunderstood and cops were called and cps became involved when the officer asked me what had happen I told him the truth and that what my gf had heard was either misinterpreted for her daughter was trying to say something and what she had said was wrong the officer took my statement said that you’re really calm for being accused of doing something like that and I said well I’m calm because I know that I didn’t do that and the Lord knows that I didn’t do that so I have no reason to be worried because of worried shows guilt so I’m not worried about it because I know I didn’t do anything. But now every time that my girlfriends daughter is alone with me for just a second her mother flipped out and starts throwing accusations out that I am hurting her daughter or I am beating her daughter I am hitting her daughter I mean just like this morning Her daughter got up came and woke me up asked me to make her breakfast I went and tried to wake up my girlfriend she told me to go make her breakfast does not to F with her so I took my phone up and I started recording for whenever I left the room but my girlfriend swears up and down because Her daughter has a scratch on her back she thinks that I harmed her daughter while she was asleep even though I’ve been recorded the whole thing and I did not touch her harm or anything like that but now her mother is already accuse me Going out to her car while her and her daughter are in the car and hurting her daughter wow her mother is in the car right there with her watching me steal said that i hurt her daughter What’s the strap to the course even though her daughter was in the car seat doors were shut and I can came outside but her daughter which is to send it I came outside and open the door and hurt her with a strap on her car seat keep in mind I was recording on my phone I was washing the dishes while they were still outside so my question is what do I need to do or ask what actions do I need to take Because my girlfriend has got it imprinted in her head that anytime any chance if I’m alone with her daughter Eva that I am intentionally harming her or hurting her because of what she said that I did that I know that I didn’t do and I just took it with a grain of salt what her daughter said. but she is bound and Determined that any little bump scratch bruise red mark is caused by me because she thinks I hold resentment towards her daughter What legal actions do I need to get ready to take
Ruffneck0297 - 30-Aug-20 @ 12:57 AM
My girlfriend thinks that I’m hurting her 2 year old daughter because of something she said that her mom misunderstood and cops were called and cps became involved when the officer asked me what had happen I told him the truth and that what my gf had heard was either misinterpreted for her daughter was trying to say something and what she had said was wrong the officer took my statement said that you’re really calm for being accused of doing something like that and I said well I’m calm because I know that I didn’t do that and the Lord knows that I didn’t do that so I have no reason to be worried because of worried shows guilt so I’m not worried about it because I know I didn’t do anything. But now every time that my girlfriends daughter is alone with me for just a second her mother flipped out and starts throwing accusations out that I am hurting her daughter or I am beating her daughter I am hitting her daughter I mean just like this morning Her daughter got up came and woke me up asked me to make her breakfast I went and tried to wake up my girlfriend she told me to go make her breakfast does not to F with her so I took my phone up and I started recording for whenever I left the room but my girlfriend swears up and down because Her daughter has a scratch on her back she thinks that I harmed her daughter while she was asleep even though I’ve been recorded the whole thing and I did not touch her harm or anything like that but now her mother is already accuse me Going out to her car while her and her daughter are in the car and hurting her daughter wow her mother is in the car right there with her watching me steal said that i hurt her daughter What’s the strap to the course even though her daughter was in the car seat doors were shut and I can came outside but her daughter which is to send it I came outside and open the door and hurt her with a strap on her car seat keep in mind I was recording on my phone I was washing the dishes while they were still outside so my question is what do I need to do or ask what actions do I need to take Because my girlfriend has got it imprinted in her head that anytime any chance if I’m alone with her daughter Eva that I am intentionally harming her or hurting her because of what she said that I did that I know that I didn’t do and I just took it with a grain of salt what her daughter said. but she is bound and Determined that any little bump scratch bruise red mark is caused by me because she thinks I hold resentment towards her daughter What legal actions do I need to get ready to take
Ruffneck0297 - 30-Aug-20 @ 12:57 AM
My daughter's mom and I broke up I Served her Custody paperwork the next day she got a lawyer the day after her lawyer called social services and said that I touched my daughter 2 years there's no specific date,I was living with my ex girlfriend at the time who knows for a fact this didn't happen and I have to go to court now for something I can't even prove because I don't have a date or time and I haven't seen my daughter in almost 2 years because of it I have a lawyer but everything is so drawn out it's driving me crazy right now. My daughter has said in interviews she doesn't remember anything like this happening.
beatendown - 28-Aug-20 @ 8:56 AM
Hello. My husband not living with me from 26.6. 2020. After we separated he had psychological problems. he wanted to commit suicide. But I stopped him. Then, after , he come to visit his son on my house every week. But this option not good for me and for him also bad for my son. So I sayd stop come to my house. You can see with your son in children centre or we can go to Court. but he contact social service and sayd there I beat my son. Not true what he sazd there. My son has autism and sometimes he falls on floor and he knows it. Doctors know about it. I explain it everything to social worker and everything was ok. But my husband still text me messages I beat my son. What I can to do.. He has psychological problems and not true what he sayd about me everywhere /any false occusation..Thank you
dedenini - 26-Aug-20 @ 4:24 PM
@Zach.i feel for you dads out there now with this pandemic even more so if live in different states or borders .i don't no how in the hell you guys are ever going to see your children. I am glad my child is a adult don't have to worry about that stuff.
Christopher - 13-Aug-20 @ 2:38 AM
@Zach.then I was given another 6 months probation on top of my 18 months probation for failing to apply with judges order about doing courses .so yeah my changes of seeing my daughter where gone in a snap of a finger just like that .so you dads out there just starting this process don't do what I did .you have to play bye there rules .
Christopher - 13-Aug-20 @ 2:02 AM
@Zach.well I haven't seen my daughter sence she was 5 she is now 17 .i was going to takethe court route years ago but Iwas on orders and placed on 18 months probation and made to complete courses before applying for visitation the honest truth is I never complete the courses and told my probation officer I am not doing them . so he reported me I faced court the judge told me do the courses or you will never see your daughter again my solicitor said to judge he refuses to do courses and the judge said well Mr laurie I should lock you up my solicitor said he willing to get locked up instead off doing courses. The judge didn't lock me up but said if you ever try to go though the courts to see your daughter it will be denied are we clear .what I just said here is the gods truth .
Christopher - 13-Aug-20 @ 12:33 AM
My daughter was taken due to false allegations. My ex claimed I am too rough with her and I caused her unexplained fractures. I have hired a medical expert witness and they reviewed my daughters chart and have diagnosed her with a rare condition. I have not got to go before a judge yet but my attorney turned over this information to the police and to CPS but we have not heard a word it has been almost 2 weeks. It is so wrong how they can use false information and inaccurate medical reviews to just take someone's child away. I have not seen my daughter for 4 months now. They allowed her to be taken out of the state. I am spending every dollar I have to fight.
Zach - 12-Aug-20 @ 7:37 PM
Hey I'm new to all of this,in a short story I've been married 12 years,2020 in 2019 I had a affair due to stress work blaming it all on the wife , we have 2 kids togetherand she had 3 of her own the girl was 2 and boys 4 and 5 I think i raised all 5 kids , the affair lasted 2mths then i was back with wife ,had threats of the 15year old girl wishing i was dead ect now 17mths clean of drugs and alcohol, her and the mom had a bust up and was told she couldt come home as i was sheildedso was sent to her aunts,then 5 days ago hermom took her some clothes and guessing had a chat , then out of the blue i was arrested in front of my 7year old a 10 year old son , the step daughteraccused me of kissing her inappropriate and making her take her towel off ,that all she said she can remember1st she said she was 14 then second interview said she may of been 12 , but cant remembermy solicitor says the story is very fishy and smells made up due to story's adding up , so I been arrested and bailed not allowed to my house or on the rd not allowed to speak to her or daughter, and can be with kids unsupervised, I'm truly broken , I have msgs of daughter step , saying they have back up plan and daughter wishing I was dead ,and lots of other texts from when I had affair but since then the last 12 mths have been perfectbut mum kicked daughter out ,then took clothes now this happens ican only speak to kids through text social services say :( someone help )
Dale burton - 2-Jul-20 @ 1:30 AM
I’m a father of 2 boys and 1 girl my gf has 2 girls. Her oldest daughter of 5 has falsely accused me of touching her inappropriately because she was mad that she isn’t getting the time she deserves like the other kids what do I need to do to not go to jail over a lye from a 5 year old
Ruffneck0297 - 20-Jun-20 @ 5:53 AM
Not all woman are vicious and for everyfather going through the false accusation hell there is a grandmother going through it with him. My son ran out of money and now self represents in court.Familiesneed Fathers is full of non residential parents enduring the same emotionaland financial hell in pursuit of a basic human right.Solicitorsin general tutorthe residentialparent on how to minimise or extinguish contact. Lottery funding has been pulled for contact centres in Scotland which is a lifeline in maintaining contactduring court proceedings.
Weemarie - 8-Feb-20 @ 5:35 AM
@daddy1976.i have no wealth I am a (peasant) I live hand to mouth .but I am differently (not broken) .people think I am broken because i didn’t want to be with the child’s mother (I f ing hate cheaters) that’s why I didn’t want to be with her ..I don’t care what she (looks like) gods truth she is (ugly deceitful toad )in my book.and i don’t no if I have been accused off abuse violence or inappropriate behaviour I cant see how I have no (contact) .but wouldn’t put it past her .there will be (no trouble) all they got to do is (leave me alone) .they don’t then there will be trouble and will see some violence .
Chris - 4-Feb-20 @ 10:55 PM
Women are vicious when a relationship go’s sour. All the laws made in 80’s and 90´s are now a weapon to weaken men. Nobody cares about the mental well being of a loving father and all we are turned into is a cash machine. I been accused of violence, erotically kissing my daughter and many other things. I was so scared to go court that I stupidly agreed on the ridiculous amount of child support I have to pay just because I wanted to see my daughter. ISold my businesses as I was mentally broken from all the endless fighting and knowing I would get short changed. I now pay what I calculated myactuallycosts and not a penny more. I could not care less if she sends debt collectors or not. All my wealth and properties are off shore and in my daughters name. All this nonsense on equality does not exist in this world. Luckily i had a waterproof prenup but the accusations on violence and abuse leave scars foerever, for a year I was wearing Speedo’s to take a bath with my daughter out of fear for being accused by my ex. More attention should be paid to man’s mental health and big sentences should be posed on women who falsely accuse men. Right now they can do whatever they can to hurt and deceive
Daddy1976 - 4-Feb-20 @ 2:51 PM
Women are vicious when a relationship go’s sour. All the laws made in 80’s and 90´s are now a weapon to weaken men. Nobody cares about the mental well being of a loving father and all we are turned into is a cash machine. I been accused of violence, erotically kissing my daughter and many other things. I was so scared to go court that I stupidly agreed on the ridiculous amount of child support I have to pay just because I wanted to see my daughter. ISold my businesses as I was mentally broken from all the endless fighting and knowing I would get short changed. I now pay what I calculated myactuallycosts and not a penny more. I could not care less if she sends debt collectors or not. All my wealth and properties are off shore and in my daughters name. All this nonsense on equality does not exist in this world. Luckily i had a waterproof prenup but the accusations on violence and abuse leave scars foerever, for a year I was wearing Speedo’s to take a bath with my daughter out of fear for being accused by my ex. More attention should be paid to man’s mental health and big sentences should be posed on women who falsely accuse men. Right now they can do whatever they can to hurt and deceive
Daddy1976 - 4-Feb-20 @ 2:51 PM
I have tried everything but unfortunately the father of my spreadsromours abt me saying I'm not taking care of my child but I have tried I could possible do to take care of her and I love her much
Ndundu - 29-Jan-20 @ 5:45 PM
Ex accused me of control and coercive behaviour now her 12 year old daughtersaying I touched her.. how one ended relationship can ruin your life..
Paul - 26-Nov-19 @ 6:59 AM
Kids are being used to hurt the other parent when relationships go south.Funny, nobody thought about how false accusations or separation of parent from parent and child would also hurt the family.Your attorney will want to bring in witnesses of who has seen you interact with the children.Step one is to make it past the flawed court system.There will be very tough and long term emotional pain as a result of the accusations and separation that you will have to get through.Try to stay persistent and positive.I was a complete train wreck when this happened to me.I wish you the best.
Jonny - 23-Nov-19 @ 12:36 PM
Someone please help me, my beautiful baby granddaughter was taken from us after my daughter took her to hospital to get reassurance from them about a bruise not fading quickly, she was only 15 days old and was born using foreceps the midwife and health visitor are supporting my daughter and her partner but they are simply being disregarded. My daughter has a mental health condition but this has been managed well and since her daughters arrival she was thriving and they were both doing such a wonderful job. All she wanted was further reassurance as a first time mum she thought she was doing the best for her little girl. Social work are dragging up things from 11 years ago when she was 18 and I was struggling with depression. They are painting a truly horrific picture and it’s simply not fair. I’m desperate for help if anyone can.
LilysGran - 15-Nov-19 @ 9:10 AM
I’m a single mum with 2 toddlers, 1 has additional needs because he doesn’t feed so decided to seek medical help which he tube feeds now. Now today had a melt down because his condition had become too much for me so it had an emotional day for me, whilst in this condition today, I had police called on me, they came broke down my door, arrested me for child negligence of the same child I have seek help for, had been treated like a criminal got throw in jail, have just got back from police station and taken to hospital to pick my daughter but son is still there, they want to run medical checks on him. Now my daughter won’t come upstairs to her room to sleep because of what she witnessed today, she says she’s scared so sleeping in the lounge. Want to find out what’s my right for being treated like this. A mum going through this difficult time and being treated as a criminal for allegations not true.
Jemima - 5-Oct-19 @ 12:57 AM
I have been faulsley accused of assaulting my daughter this week after moving in with my new partner. Who do I need to contact to get this sorted? it's heartbreaking enough being accused but then it's another thing not letting me see them .
Ccrane - 7-Sep-19 @ 9:34 AM
My spouse of 5 years whom ive known for 14 years is being accused by his daughter for inappropriately touching her while tickling. Mother blew it up with no detail so to get ahead of this we called cps on ourselves. Now my spouse has been fired and i have been suspended from my job till pending legal services can advise my return to work. This mother is upset because my spouse got clean from drugs and started turning his life around with me and started seeing his daughter when we refused to give her $ on the side anymore instead of paying child support she with held the child we called cps for parent alienation abuse neglect and drug abuse info we gathered over the years and from the child the weekend before she took her. We filed motions were granted 50/50 custody. Mom then continuesly violated the order for parenting time weather ditching or keeping the child off schedule. We argued about it and then 5 days later she sent a text accusing him of inappropriate touching. 24 hours later she decided to state his daughters detailed accusations. Then started apologizing for mishandling after confronted. Now she is back and forth.
Falesha - 14-Aug-19 @ 10:10 PM
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