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Being Falsely Accused of Domestic Violence

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 9 Oct 2020 |
 
False Accusation Rape Sexual Offence

Every year, many people in the UK are falsely accused of domestic violence. The reasons for this are wide-ranging. Some partners or ex-partners make up allegations of domestic violence to get out of a relationship that they are otherwise unhappy with, others do it to spite their partners, while some still want to ensure that they stop (usually) the father from seeing the children.

In other circumstances, a stranger, someone you know, or perhaps your child’s teacher could become concerned about an injury to your child or something your child says – and refers Social Services to you. The tragic fact is that this does happen to people who are totally innocent of any crime. Sadly, although in this country you are ‘innocent until proven guilty’, the truth is that sometimes people can get charged and found guilty for domestic violence on very little evidence.

What Can Happen

You can be arrested while in your own home, in front of your partner and children, and in full view of the neighbours. Then you can be taken to the police station, your DNA taken and held on file, and interviewed while under caution. You could find yourself in court, charged with an offence for which you have done nothing wrong. Worst of all, you could end up with a criminal conviction and sent to prison. The problem is, when emotions are running high after a break up or divorce, one call to the police can have far-reaching consequences. If word gets around your local community, you could suffer verbal abuse, harassment or worse for being a ‘monster’.

Your Rights

If this happens to you, you need to be aware of your rights. You are entitled to legal advice at the police station. If you waive your right, you may end up saying something that could be misconstrued, especially if you are tired or are lulled into a false sense of security by the interviewing officers. There have been many cases that have been successfully brought by the Crown Prosecution Service purely on the basis of an admission in interview at the police station.

If you do speak to a lawyer, tell them the truth because if you are coy, or uncooperative, they are not going to be able to advise you properly. The police may bail you to return to the police station on another date. If they do this, you MUST ensure you go back on the day and at the time specified, or you will be charged with an offence of ‘failure to surrender’ and a warrant may be issued for your arrest. If you are innocent of any crime, be persistent, stick to the truth and try your best not to get angry at any stage. If you find yourself in court, it is vital that you come across as genuine and sincere about your innocence.

Implications For Your Accuser

If your partner or ex-partner accuses you of domestic violence, when you have in fact done nothing wrong, by the time the police are involved your ex has already committed a criminal offence for which they could receive a prison sentence of up to six months. If they then go on to falsify evidence to the authorities – the police, social services etc – they are then perverting the course of justice. If the case actually gets to court, and you find yourself in the dock on trial for something you haven’t done, your accuser would in most circumstances have to give evidence in court. If they are still lying at this stage, they are committing perjury. These are all serious criminal offences for which your ex-partner could serve a long prison sentence.

See our articles on Being Falsely Accused Of Child Abuse and Being Falsely Accused Of Rape on this site.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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Hi I've been falsely accused of dv. My partner has seve mental health this is by no means an excuse but I need my name cleared. My partner is prepared to come with me to talk about this. Tbh I'm not sure if I have been convicted. Cps took it too court there's no evidence but court gave me 14 days to stay away from her and my children. How do I know if I've been convicted or not
Solo - 3-Oct-20 @ 12:44 PM
My brother has 2 children to a police officer who has stopped him seeing the children. She has made up all kinds of stories and lies and now has a court order against him so he can't see them or approach her or them. Because she is a police officer she always has them on side and calls and reports him if he even drives through the area (where our family also live). Her stories were thrown out by the judge as she never has evidence but she never faced any repercussions for her lies as they look after their own! Solicitors to fight against the police are so hard to come by and extremely expensive. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Cld - 22-Sep-20 @ 5:51 PM
I don’t want to come across as rude or uncaring But don’t understand why in comments section it’s mostly woman and there stories! I was hoping with the title separated dads it would provide contents of other dads going through similar situations. I care about these women opinions and feelings as they are equally as important as the next person. They have a very high number of website for women and very little for men
Beery - 14-Sep-20 @ 8:23 PM
I need help I have a new partner we’re still getting to know each other we’ve had arguments he’s broken stuff in the argument and he’s replaced it but police have been called this is only happened when my child has not been here he’s never hit but he has broken stuff and replaced it I’m not scared off him he don’t control me and we don’t live together but now my child’s father picked her up from school and refused to return her home he’s said I’m a Domestic abuse relationship which I don’t know how to prove I’m not they’re are no police reports when my child is present and we don’t usually argue it’s so random but now I’m being told I have to leave partner regardless weather he’s abusing me or not even know he’s very willing to go to anger management or kickboxing classes to stop him breaking things
Utopiamcxo - 10-Sep-20 @ 2:48 PM
I have the same issue as sam. I have married a North African male and he came to UK on a marriage visa and now has gone to falsely claim domestic abuse. I hear this is a common game now. I am going to the police today with all the evidence I have. I have been nothing but good to him. I was advised to go to the domestic abuse service but they can't help me because they are helping him. I need to prove my case to them. Which I will.
Ruby - 2-Sep-20 @ 12:16 PM
Hi I'm looking for advice where to go as I've made some awful mistakes,first my daughter made an ligation to the police saying i had neglected my 3 boys, then social services came into our lifes because my partner has a conviction 20 years ago, I took on board the licence conditions which he couldn't be left alone with the boys he never was, but I freaked out and made a false statement against him, I retracted my statement,but hes now in prison,and I've lost my boys too, I feel so ashamed of myself,for letting them bully me into this as I've never had any dealings with the police in my life, and they are trying to separate us, both for good , please if anyone is in the same situation I'd like help please, as I've had to choose between my partner or my boys,I've lost everything,we've only been together for nearly two years
Shazra - 19-Aug-20 @ 12:51 PM
My wife is North African tricked me into marriage for the sake to come and remain in the UK , I got her spouse visa and we lived together for nine months , Immediately after I found out from her relatives that I was a victim of fraud and they knew her intention from the start , She called the police and filled domestic abuse under false allegations , her main purpose was to get indefinite leave to remain .
Sam - 16-Jul-20 @ 8:53 PM
Hi, I see alot of men seeking for some sort of advice or direction but no response? Can we please have advise or directions where these men can get some help and or support.
Sarah - 14-Jul-20 @ 10:47 PM
I was in a relationship for 4 years. We both ended up become very insecure over time and admittedly started to control one another. The relationship became highly toxic to the point we both just couldn't cope with each other's demands anymore.We did love each other but our expectations of each other became ridiculous and out of control. We ended up officially breaking up in May of 2018. After that point we remained "friends" bit we were still intimate both physically and emotionally towards eachother. This went on for 16 months. Within the 16 months we would go for meals together, and have days out and spent Christmas 2018 together. We where still very loving and wanted to be in each other's lives. Despite what we wanted, we ended up having a big fall out and completely stopped seeing eachother.We do have a little boy together. This is now where things take a real turn for the worst... In November of 2019, 2 years after our official break up, there was a knock at my door... it was the Police! He handed me a card which said "Harassment" on it! I was confused why they where giving me a card as I've harassed no one. I called the contact number on the phone and I then ended up in a 3 hour police interview. The interview was recorded. I was asked a multitude of questions regarding our relationship and she had written a statement saying I had coerced her and controlled her etc! I was honest at the station... I said yes I did this or said that "but so did she"! Ultimately it went to CPS and I ended up in Magistrate's court. I pleaded not guilty.I now have to go to crown court to make another plea, which will be the same. It will go to trial! The fact is this... The relationship was toxic and we BOTH Behaved inappropriately towards each other. She controlled me and was disgusting to me at times and vice versa.I simply cannot plead guilty when I know it was a two way street. The problem I have is my admissions in the station which has ended me up in this absolute mess. She has told so many lies it's absolutely horrendous and I can't believe how terrible she is and how hurtful she is. I have evidence of her disgusting controlling behaviour in our relationship.I have texts and even a video of the way she was treating me. So far not even the solicitor knows my side of the story or has seen my evidence. I have decided I am going to go to the police station and report her along with my evidence for the very same "Crime"! She has also stopped me from seeing my son. This is an absolute mess and I could be facing ALOT of trouble. I've never been in trouble with the law in my life. She is evil and twisted and is being vindictive. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.Thanks.
Mr J - 8-Jul-20 @ 9:19 PM
Hello I have been falsely accused and arrested 3 times by my parents. They would get in a fit of anger and in the heat of the argument they would call the police and falsely accused me. Only the last time was too late they have charged me with cohesive and control behaviour and when I was arrested I was holding on the stair case of my parents house and 5 police officers were pulling me. I felt like I was being raped by 5 police officers but I was not going because I thought they had made a huge mistake and my mum told me that they did not call the police that time so I wanted to talk to my mum so she could tell them she didn't want this. Onepl police officer has a tiny scratch on his hand and one hurt her arm when they were pulling me from the stairs and they are saying I beat up 2 police officers when I never ever touched them both of my hands weww hold on to the stair case in fact one police officer was digging her nails into me to peel my fingers from the stairs we all fell back into the kitchen where I held onto the kitchen door which broke off then one officer said he was going to spray me in the eyes and I said I would come but another officer said just spray her just spray after I agreed to go I was humiliated by five racist police officers and now they are milking it. I have a court date on the 9th July please help me my whole life is ruined I have been suicidal when I did nothing wrong even my parents admitted that
Naz - 23-Jun-20 @ 6:10 PM
@suki.yeah when my old lady is giving me a bit off lip I give her fat lip quiet her down put her in her place.to the next time she gets to big for her boots .
Wild - 18-Jun-20 @ 12:38 AM
the domestic violence laws are encouraging partners to ring police and file fake allegations, once a allegation is made, the police arrest the individual. everyone please install CCTV, micro cameras, its time to show evidence and be one step ahead, fake system,
suki - 17-Jun-20 @ 9:51 PM
hello I have been arrested 5 times for domestic violence, each time the allegations were I have pushed my partner, spat in her face, false allegations. the police try and make themost of it, encouraging partners to submit statements so they can press charge. the whole English system is fake, innocent individuals get caught up. The police is crafty they work on performance targets and the officers are trying there best to get a statement, they try and trick people my cases have failed, CPS tried to prosecute me, but the Judge threw the case out. domestic violence the women are exploiting the laws, lying to police, false allegations, overall the working partner has to pay for solicitor costs, fake system, fake law,
suki - 17-Jun-20 @ 9:47 PM
Hello, my ex had made numerous allegations from GBH to child abuse but has always stopped short of having me arrested or more recently going to trial in the family court instead almost blackmailing me into for example accepting a no blame non molestation order.She’s essentially used the threat of arrest to control and abuse me. And trust me she did a great job because I lived in fear and was terrified of her mood swings which left me emotionally ruined. We brought a home together last October and she again bullied me into paying for all the furniture the last item was brought and the day after she ended the relationship. Six weeks after she got an occupation order and accused me of abusing her. The judge wasn’t convinced so he order we present evidence four weeks later she then alleged I’d committed child abuse on her 14 year old, on her throwing in GBH and a couple of other issues of violence all fabricated. I was in a complete meltdown and even with no defence (because I wasn’t emotionally capable at the time of doing anything) she still didn’t want the trial and agreed the order which was six months no contact and she would buy me out the house and I could take all my furniture which I agreed to accept. She’s changed her mind now three times and wants the furniture and won’t release my money until I accept her new terms which means I’d lose nigh on £30,000 from two months living together.Police won’t help even though I have now pulled myself together and have indisputable evidence she’s lied to the police, social services and the court. Anyone got any advice and or can direct me to get some help legally to right this wrong?
Paul - 12-Jun-20 @ 2:36 PM
Hello, my ex had made numerous allegations from GBH to child abuse but has always stopped short of having me arrested or more recently going to trial in the family court instead almost blackmailing me into for example accepting a no blame non molestation order.She’s essentially used the threat of arrest to control and abuse me. And trust me she did a great job because I lived in fear and was terrified of her mood swings which left me emotionally ruined. We brought a home together last October and she again bullied me into paying for all the furniture the last item was brought and the day after she ended the relationship. Six weeks after she got an occupation order and accused me of abusing her. The judge wasn’t convinced so he order we present evidence four weeks later she then alleged I’d committed child abuse on her 14 year old, on her throwing in GBH and a couple of other issues of violence all fabricated. I was in a complete meltdown and even with no defence (because I wasn’t emotionally capable at the time of doing anything) she still didn’t want the trial and agreed the order which was six months no contact and she would buy me out the house and I could take all my furniture which I agreed to accept. She’s changed her mind now three times and wants the furniture and won’t release my money until I accept her new terms which means I’d lose nigh on £30,000 from two months living together.Police won’t help even though I have now pulled myself together and have indisputable evidence she’s lied to the police, social services and the court. Anyone got any advice and or can direct me to get some help legally to right this wrong?
Paul - 11-Jun-20 @ 5:30 PM
Hello, my ex had made numerous allegations from GBH to child abuse but has always stopped short of having me arrested or more recently going to trial in the family court instead almost blackmailing me into for example accepting a no blame non molestation order.She’s essentially used the threat of arrest to control and abuse me. And trust me she did a great job because I lived in fear and was terrified of her mood swings which left me emotionally ruined. We brought a home together last October and she again bullied me into paying for all the furniture the last item was brought and the day after she ended the relationship. Six weeks after she got an occupation order and accused me of abusing her. The judge wasn’t convinced so he order we present evidence four weeks later she then alleged I’d committed child abuse on her 14 year old, on her throwing in GBH and a couple of other issues of violence all fabricated. I was in a complete meltdown and even with no defence (because I wasn’t emotionally capable at the time of doing anything) she still didn’t want the trial and agreed the order which was six months no contact and she would buy me out the house and I could take all my furniture which I agreed to accept. She’s changed her mind now three times and wants the furniture and won’t release my money until I accept her new terms which means I’d lose nigh on £30,000 from two months living together.Police won’t help even though I have now pulled myself together and have indisputable evidence she’s lied to the police, social services and the court. Anyone got any advice and or can direct me to get some help legally to right this wrong?
Paul - 10-Jun-20 @ 5:43 PM
Why would two female officer visit your ex you have two young daughters with,who hasn’t made an allegation against you and hasn’t in the past who you’ve been separated from for 9 years, to ask about dv history or if she experienced it while yous were together? And be very insistent to think carefully about any little detail that could be linked to a “recent serious allegation”. They also never left a card or information pamphlets but said they would email her?!? Please help me out here my anxiety is going through the roof over all these questions and the unknown of who is trying to mess with my life! Thanks for any ideas or opinions or professional advice given!!
Help a dad out - 21-May-20 @ 12:03 AM
My partner now ex partner lost her temper and picked my 2yo son up but the back of his t shirt where the label is and cut all the front of his neck. I had a massive go at herand I said I was going to phone social service because it made him and me soo distressed and and upset andthe day after she phoned all the help lines and played it down and said I was abusing her controlling her and harrasing her I dont know what to do weve only just moved into our house and I thought everything was fine now she's making me out to be a monster because she's scared I will take the kids away
G - 14-May-20 @ 9:42 AM
I’ve been accused of DV and stalking. This woman who I had an affair for 6 months, tried to keep from telling her husband. One day my Ex ran into her and her husband, and ratted her out about the affair. I was led to believe for 3 months that she had already told her husband. She eventually got me fired and charged me with stalking an DV. My lawyer before he closed his practice asked if I was doing all this then why didn’t she call the cops. The prosecutor here is only going by her statements. I’ve been unable to find a job for a year now because this is an open class 5 felony case. I’ve maxed my credit cards, sold everything I had and quite frankly one step away from taking my life. I used to believe in the system, now I’m delusion by the system and people in general. I’ve never been in trouble in 57 years and now I’m ruined and trying to find a sliver of hope in humanity.
Doug - 25-Mar-20 @ 10:08 PM
I am going through the hell of a false allegation of DV by my Ukrainian 'spouse',who was in the UK for 2 weeks on her spouse visa before I confronted her about her duplicity and asked for a divorce. She called Police,however I wasn't arrested and elected to leave the house so she couldn't make further false allegations. All she needed to do was this one fake call,then got to a Dr and women's aid place,and I stand to lose everything when it's her who is in fact in the wrong-and there's not much I can do. I spent a total of 45 days with this woman in 2 years before she got here and did this,having met on a dating site.I am going to lose the lot now,while she plays the system with her new Russian man in the UK and set themselves up for life at my expense. The solicitors she's engaged happen to be Russian nationals practising in the UK-it's a massive scam and nothing is done about it because she hides behind the DV laws. I have been at the point of suicide this past 20 months-I haven't seen or heard from her,but managed to find out what she was up to. This is the ultimate nightmare-stay away from Ukrainian and Russian dating sites,it's a huge scam and the women only want immigration,before playing the system and disappearing with their real partner,and destroying lives.
cupanrod - 27-Jan-20 @ 7:58 PM
SHAKTI womans aid in edinburgh need reported by everyone who has been scammed by them to the home office. They tell immigrant scammersonly women get believed because of the scottish dv laws and the fact the local police and social services are in bed with them. They provide council paid housing all free while british people are homeless and they encourage thisdv immigration scam and make money from doing this fraud. The fake dv scammers never want to return homewith free tax payer money payed to them. The home office can not act because the police charge the british victim husband or british family members as abusers. Everyone affected by their scam needs to report to their mp and report the matter to the parlimentary ombudsman.This is the same as edinburgh council property repairs fraud. They try to intimidate and silence thevictims.This needs to be made public
SHAKTI - 25-Jan-20 @ 10:13 PM
Edinburgh shakti are like a gangster racket. My both physically and emotionally violent mother of child used the Scottish dv claim after she put me through yet another sustained attack after which I admitted to her that I was done, having tried my best for the sake of the child. A couple of weeks later they were in 'safe' houses which She shared photos and location of.She was always clear it was a visa she was after and tricked me to fall pregnant. Actually her behaviour at that time would constitute rape. Anyway, here she is, the perpetrator playing the victim and laughing about how her friends want to come to Scotland to claim dv get the full benefits and child maintenance which She sends to her family abroad and doesn't spend on my kids. Only Grace is I get kids weekly as she has to fulfil her need to go out and get random cock. Thankfully she is no longer taken over my home and every second but there's still a long way to go. Like I said, it's a shakti scam but at least my kids are in UK. I'm still paying the visa and debts to bring her here and she tried to buy 10g car and is looking to another 4g holiday and doesmt work. It is indeed a womams world and theres nothing equal about it.
Ilr dv scam - 16-Jan-20 @ 11:45 PM
I have tried to sign up to the forum and been told to contact admin as I may be a spammer. How do I contact admin and register for the forums
KB - 16-Jan-20 @ 10:37 AM
My Son is abused for DV by his wife fir getting ILR as she is on Spouse Visa. She got Non Molestation Order without notice, which finally got discharged at the Court in the return hearing. I want to teach her a lesson that she can not just make me suffer for not doing anything and I want her to get punished for false allegations and wasting Police/Court’s time as well as Public fund as they legal aid when there is a DV. Can somebody suggest who can help me in this matter. Also how can I deal with it in Financial Settlement as I do not want to pay her a single pound when she has accused us for DV. What does the Law or any Court Order say.
DK - 12-Dec-19 @ 4:04 PM
I'm separated from my wife . I've been told by one of her friends she is putting in a domestic violence case against me. Iv9not no criminal record & have never hit a woman.The last few mon9have been tough. She would attack me then try provoke me to strike back but I knew what she was doing.I held her wrist & warned her several times when she attacked me that I knew what she was doing.I have plenty of photos of my injuries.The last event was an attack with a bedroom light for switching it on. I have a text message sent to me by one of her friends admitting she hit & threw it at me. So for weeks now I've been unable to sleep. I'm at my wits end
Skip - 5-Dec-19 @ 3:43 AM
My wife left with my little kid and claimed domestic abuse. She go a non mol against me without proof. Havent seen my kid for a year. She did it so she could have a place to stay and extend her visa probably next year. The legal system is so unfair that I have not seen my child for a year and looking like I have lost him for good as she is vindictive and cold. We had some ups and downs in our marriage andthinks were not working out as such but to take a child far away from his father is not right. No concern about the child.
Dave - 21-Nov-19 @ 5:36 PM
lots of foreign spouse used DV as tool to get remain in ukwhen relationship about to broken. i would advise med9082 please contact immigration enforcement team in your area and inform them along with please also send police refuse charge notice to SET DV (ILR) she wont get visa if domestic violence not found. please also report to Action Fraud if you think if are victim of marriage fraud and she used you to get in to Britain and take that reference number to police station and ask them to make a formal report and investigate this matter. if she pledging you false accusation on you in actual she is committing a crime . i would advise you to go to police stationand ask them to follow CPS guidance as she fail to proof dv and she falsely accuse police should act on set under CPS guidance. please also make sure you informed curtailment tocurtailed her visa. i hope this information will help you
Ajh - 19-Nov-19 @ 9:55 PM
My wife fauslely claimed domestic violence can she get sole custody of my kid's ? would I be informed if she did try she's gone all the way in refuge now temp housing kid's were with me I had a break down and even though it all was down to her alcoholism that this all started the social services said at the beginning if I was to let her back in the family home I would lose the kid's, which the social worker when taking the kid's from me to her,she denied saying it but I then produced a piece of paper she had wrote it on,at my wit's end had enough saT
Dog - 13-Nov-19 @ 10:49 PM
Someone attacked my wife it wasn't me we are separated and police took my phone and her for investigation because she was in coma. They came back to her and told her that they see domestic abuse in messages . We have bad and good days like everyone but messages are bad from both sides . She doesn't want to speak with them and what now ? Can they charge me when she doesn't want to accuse me for that because she thinks that they are messages between us . I've never said that I will hurt her but was txt about her cheating and other things. What police can do now?I didn't do anything wrong I'm looking after her now because she was in come and had head injury
MAGIC - 3-Nov-19 @ 3:07 PM
Why can i not contact the administrator or seem to sign up to talk about acess issues with my son it just keeps coming bk im a spammer ? Regards k.j
K.j - 10-Oct-19 @ 9:16 AM
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