Home > Lies in Separation > Being Falsely Accused of Domestic Violence

Being Falsely Accused of Domestic Violence

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 22 Mar 2017 |
 
False Accusation Rape Sexual Offence

Every year, many people in the UK are falsely accused of domestic violence. The reasons for this are wide-ranging. Some partners or ex-partners make up allegations of domestic violence to get out of a relationship that they are otherwise unhappy with, others do it to spite their partners, while some still want to ensure that they stop (usually) the father from seeing the children.

In other circumstances, a stranger, someone you know, or perhaps your child’s teacher could become concerned about an injury to your child or something your child says – and refers Social Services to you. The tragic fact is that this does happen to people who are totally innocent of any crime. Sadly, although in this country you are ‘innocent until proven guilty’, the truth is that sometimes people can get charged and found guilty for domestic violence on very little evidence.

What Can Happen

You can be arrested while in your own home, in front of your partner and children, and in full view of the neighbours. Then you can be taken to the police station, your DNA taken and held on file, and interviewed while under caution. You could find yourself in court, charged with an offence for which you have done nothing wrong. Worst of all, you could end up with a criminal conviction and sent to prison. The problem is, when emotions are running high after a break up or divorce, one call to the police can have far-reaching consequences. If word gets around your local community, you could suffer verbal abuse, harassment or worse for being a ‘monster’.

Your Rights

If this happens to you, you need to be aware of your rights. You are entitled to legal advice at the police station. If you waive your right, you may end up saying something that could be misconstrued, especially if you are tired or are lulled into a false sense of security by the interviewing officers. There have been many cases that have been successfully brought by the Crown Prosecution Service purely on the basis of an admission in interview at the police station.

If you do speak to a lawyer, tell them the truth because if you are coy, or uncooperative, they are not going to be able to advise you properly. The police may bail you to return to the police station on another date. If they do this, you MUST ensure you go back on the day and at the time specified, or you will be charged with an offence of ‘failure to surrender’ and a warrant may be issued for your arrest. If you are innocent of any crime, be persistent, stick to the truth and try your best not to get angry at any stage. If you find yourself in court, it is vital that you come across as genuine and sincere about your innocence.

Implications For Your Accuser

If your partner or ex-partner accuses you of domestic violence, when you have in fact done nothing wrong, by the time the police are involved your ex has already committed a criminal offence for which they could receive a prison sentence of up to six months. If they then go on to falsify evidence to the authorities – the police, social services etc – they are then perverting the course of justice. If the case actually gets to court, and you find yourself in the dock on trial for something you haven’t done, your accuser would in most circumstances have to give evidence in court. If they are still lying at this stage, they are committing perjury. These are all serious criminal offences for which your ex-partner could serve a long prison sentence.

See our articles on Being Falsely Accused Of Child Abuse and Being Falsely Accused Of Rape on this site.

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[Add a Comment]
Hi my ex wife has had me done with a domestic breach , her and her mum said a was shouting at them and the played it up in court I was charged with it and have been fined £200. I haven't see my kid in 11 weeks and I have a court date to start to try get acces with her . How will this effect me
Worried dad - 22-Mar-17 @ 8:09 AM
baddad- Your Question:
My kids voted their mum out almost ten years ago so I came back to look after a 13 year old an 11 year old and a 3 year old ,i never received c,s,a, I put in for it when my youngest was 8 my ex then took me to court for shared access to get away with c,s,a.whilst in court I got told off 3 times for being a bad dad ,so now every time the ex and youngest have a confrontation the ex keeps threatening me with court has on the 2nd time in court I was ordered to pay her 30 a month c,s,a,which I havent but she thinks because the way the judge treated me and I never payed she thinks she has ammunition, I have been told that now my son is 13 years of age he can say where and who he chooses to see is upto him,is this true

Our Response:
Yes, it is true regarding your 13-year-old son having a say regarding where he wishes to live. However, and there is a big 'however' here, while a court will listen to your child's opinion it will regardless always make a decision based upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your son. This means it will take your previous responsibilities as a parent as general guidance. If you have been in contempt of court for not paying child maintenance - you may find this will go against you. Therefore, you may wish to seek legal advice regarding this.
SeparatedDads - 13-Mar-17 @ 12:45 PM
my kids voted their mum out almost ten years ago so i came back to look after a 13 year old an 11 year old and a 3 year old ,i never received c,s,a,i put in for it when my youngest was 8 my ex then took me to court for shared access to get away with c,s,a.whilst in court i got told off 3 times for being a bad dad ,so now every time the ex and youngesthave a confrontation the ex keeps threatening me with court has on the 2nd time in court i was ordered to pay her 30 a month c,s,a,which i havent but she thinks because the way the judge treated me and i never payed she thinks she has ammunition, i have been told that now my son is 13 years of age he can say where and who he chooses to see is upto him,is this true
baddad - 12-Mar-17 @ 4:36 PM
@Stressworry - sometimes you just have to let things go. If you sign up with Freecycle you might be able to furnish your new home for free. Charity shops old furniture shops and the goodwill of people will help. Ask people where you work if they have any spare pieces of furniture or know anyone else who has. It's awful that you have been thrown out of your house and cruel that she is keeping you away from the items you value - but at least the possessions you have now will be your own and no one can take them away from you. Start your new life a fresh and make sure she is out of it. You deserve better than that kind of treatment. Stuff is just stuff at the end of the day. Good luck. Mari.
MM - 3-Mar-17 @ 12:17 PM
My wife and I have separated recently because of her bullying and abusive behaviour she started to let step children do the same I left but have no where to go it's only that I'm working away I have a roof over my head I have just about enuff money saved to get a place but not furnish it. She will not let me have anything from the home , if I go there she calls police but lucky I knew what she was up to and recorded everything , she calls police every time I try to go to my home police come say they can't get involved but they see every time I message tell her I need to get my mail or clothes before hand (she will not let any one have my post or things) but I have found out she trying to get me of tenency on house saying I was removed from house by police which is not true, I left the home because of fear of her making false claims of abuse towards me, police are not interested I called them to come with me to pick up my things I waited 5 hours they never came I went to get the mail myself police were there in 2 minutes after she rang them I explained again showed recording and police again said sorry Notting we can do ! What can I do I just want to have things I worked paid for Notting much but she is holding it all to ransom to use as a tool to keep the abuse going from a distance still, I can't afford emotionally and financially to just write all the things let there off , be gratefully if any one could help Orr give me advice on what I should do, Regards Brian
Stressworry - 2-Mar-17 @ 11:35 AM
Im currently awaiting trail. I have 16 charges for rape and domestic. It started with my last partner and the police did a petition my last partner had my son and with in 3 months of him being born he was taken off her after a sw assessment, which she failed. This all started when she attacked me and vandalised my car to the extent i had to call the police she then got bail and shipped to her fathers and 6 months later im in serious trouble. She has ruined my life and that of all my children 4 in total i havent seen any of them for a lengthy time. My solicitor wont tell me anything i havent even got a court date, i know no details of the charges. I dont know what to do? I havent seen my family or for half a year i cant get a job, and everytime i find somewhere to live i get made to leave. Im just about done as i cant handle the stress of loosing everything. Forgot to mention my previous partner before her and my ex wife have sided with my last partner "police petition" what can i do? I have nothing to go on also i was told this could go on for another 6 months yet.
Wizard - 1-Mar-17 @ 8:36 PM
Im currently awaiting trail. I have 16 charges for rape and domestic. It started with my last partner and the police did a petition my last partner had my son and with in 3 months of him being born he was taken off her after a sw assessment, which she failed. This all started when she attacked me and vandalised my car to the extent i had to call the police she then got bail and shipped to her fathers and 6 months later im in serious trouble. She has ruined my life and that of all my children 4 in total i havent seen any of them for a lengthy time. My solicitor wont tell me anything i havent even got a court date, i know no details of the charges. I dont know what to do? I havent seen my family or for half a year i cant get a job, and everytime i find somewhere to live i get made to leave. Im just about done as i cant handle the stress of loosing everything.
Wizard - 1-Mar-17 @ 8:23 PM
Richard - Your Question:
Not seeing my children everyday is so painful knowing that they will not get looked after properly, everyday since my little boy started school I have washed his face, brushed his hair made sure he brushed his teeth, polished his shoes and cleaned his little classes before school. Having to deal with selling the house, moving and finding new business premises, dealing with everything by myself is too much to cope with by my self.I have thought of suicide, its my birthday tomorrow. all by my self

Our Response:
I am very sorry to hear this. You may find our Separated Dads emotional pages useful to you, please see link here. The Separated Dads Forum herecan put you in touch with other dads going through similar situations, plus those that may have been been through what you are going through and have come out the other side. I know the situation feels bleak currently, but it will get better and if you have been falsely accused of domestic abuse the courts will pick up on this when/if you apply for access/contact of your children. At this stage it is important to speak with others who can help. If you feel desperate and suicidal, please also consider the Samaritans, link here. We wish you all the best on your birthday at Separated Dads and hope that you come through this, you will. I know it is a cliche, but it does take 'time'. On a practical level, mediation is the first port of call you should consider in order to try to get contact to your children, if your ex refuses please seek legal advice about taking the matter to court.
SeparatedDads - 28-Feb-17 @ 10:46 AM
I was arrested Feb 14 2016 for assualt on my wife I spent 16 hours in custody and was not charged because my wife didn'twant to press charges I didn't lay a finger or hand on her later to find out she didn't want me a part of her and kids life anymore !!! Had to move home to my parents house and sell my home I had a shotgun licence had my guns removed from home still fighting to keep my licence something I enjoyed doing but on a happier note I found love and see my daughter now.gents there will better for us now look onward not behind the truth allways prevails but never forget there is a lot true domestic violence out there on both sides which sickens me deep but for innocent people it's horrific to be labled
Sparky - 27-Feb-17 @ 11:33 PM
Not seeing my children everyday is so painful knowing that they will not get looked after properly, everyday since my little boy started school I have washed his face, brushed his hair made sure he brushed his teeth, polished his shoes and cleaned his little classes before school. Having to deal with selling the house, moving and finding new business premises, dealing with everything by myself is too much to cope with by my self. I have thought of suicide, its my birthday tomorrow.. all by my self
Richard - 27-Feb-17 @ 11:52 AM
Hi I totally feel for you, the same is happening to me... accused of mental abuse, also her family have stepped in. Spreading lies on facebook. This is very saddening for me, I feel very low and worthless ...
Richard - 27-Feb-17 @ 11:31 AM
It's been 7 months my wife has been separated from me. She falsely accused me of assaulting her, got me arrested, I was not found guilty or convicted. She kept on saying she wants her own council home because we shared our home with my old parents who are pensioners. 4 bedroom house, 2 receptions kitchen. It just was me, wife and two kids. I made application for social housing but was rejected immediately because we did not qualify as we all ready had a home. I have forgiven her for what she did... but what she did is not nice. She walked out the house, while I was arrested spent 24 hours in custody, she went to her sisters house in a complete different borough and applied for social housing, was happy to go homeless with my 1 year old daughter and 5 year old son and would not tell me anything. I never got to spend my daughters 1st birthday or my sons 5th birthday. Now she has a house, my understanding is that she cheated the system and lied to get social housing, jumped the waiting list which is not good as there are people out there who really do need a home. She won't let my kids come over, I said fair enough put my name in the tenancy she won't do that either, she wants me to live with her illegally, take full responsibility of the house, pay gas, water, electric, pay her mobile, sky TV, food shopping literally everything, school and education , Health, and on the other not to take my name out of the current home I'm living in, what is she waiting for? Old people to die or what then move back in? She has full control of child benefit, child tax credits and she is claiming income support so she gets her council tax and rent paid, that's also not right falsely claiming benefits. As a result I use to get some working tax credits which use to help me run the house and that has stopped. My children hardly come over she don't let them, in 7 months my son has only visited 3 times and my daughter none. She is about to enrol at college get her fees paid and get childcare maintenance, that's also cheating. She is perverting the course of justice. How can I stop all this criminal activity that she is doing? Who could be giving her these ideas? Her family is also involved, her sisters husband had the cheek to step into my house take her and my kids away, her brother is also involved even he wants me to go and stay with her and look after and yet do all this illegally. I'm not prepared to do this but for the sake of my kids I have to go and sometimes stay there as I can see a change in my sons attitude, he seems lost and psychologically mentally disturbed and all he wants is to come back home, to me, his grandparents and back to his bedroom. So what do I do?
MHW - 23-Feb-17 @ 11:04 PM
Danny - Your Question:
HiI'm currently on trial for smashing up property and threatening behaviour at my home recently.I was having problems with my wife and decided to move out temporarily until we sorted things out!A week later I came home to find another man there! He had been there over night and as a result I kicked off in a rage.I somehow managed not to attack him or my wife but did a lot of damage to his car and the home.My wife is currently seeking advice from women's aid and claiming that I'm abusive??She is stopping me from spending time with our daughter and I fear she will go further and make false accusations!As I'm guilty of a number of crimes on that occasion and may be in a bit of trouble I can't fight my own corner and she can over elaborate on everything?I really need some good advice as she has all the cards.She also denies me access to see my daughter if I don't pay her an obscene amount of money,(Over £1000 per month) as she doesn't work and I work 6 days a week!Any help would be much appreciated!

Our Response:
Given your situation, you would really need to seek legal advice. Smashing up your ex's property can definitely be classed as being abusive. Therefore, a solicitor will be needed here in order to be able to explore if you have any options.
SeparatedDads - 22-Feb-17 @ 12:32 PM
Hi, I'm currently facing harassment charge for my ex - a long story short she's constantly accusing me of being violent to which I haven't and never been questioned and or arrested. It's becoming tiring, cafcass report no violence and it shows no police reports despite her stating she's reported it. Would I be able to take this further , deformation of character etc? I'm finding it very stressful and damaging
Gaz - 21-Feb-17 @ 10:49 PM
Hi I'm currently on trial for smashing up property and threatening behaviour at my home recently. I was having problems with my wife and decided to move out temporarily until we sorted things out! A week later I came home to find another man there! He had been there over night and as a result I kicked off in a rage. I somehow managed not to attack him or my wife but did a lot of damage to his car and the home. My wife is currently seeking advice from women's aid and claiming that I'm abusive?? She is stopping me from spending time with our daughter and I fear she will go further and make false accusations! As I'm guilty of a number of crimes on that occasion and may be in a bit of trouble I can't fight my own corner and she can over elaborate on everything? I really need some good advice as she has all the cards. She also denies me access to see my daughter if I don't pay her an obscene amount of money, (Over £1000 per month) as she doesn't work and I work 6 days a week! Any help would be much appreciated!
Danny - 21-Feb-17 @ 6:52 PM
m - Your Question:
HiI am looking for advice on behalf of my partner. He currently has an informal agreement for shared residence/care of his daughter. This has been in place since he separated with his ex nearly 5 years ago. His ex has not been happy with the arrangement for a number of years and has been trying to reduce his time to something more like a contact arrangement, with him seeing his daughter every other weekend, one weekend in three etc. My partner has rejected these proposals as he is keen to continue with the shared residence/ care arrangement that is already in place. His ex has tried various ways of getting her way. She has withheld their daughter at agreed handover times, attempted to pick her up from school on his days, tried to dictate how he spends his time with his daughter (threatening not to honour handover arrangements if he does not comply). She has also tried to erode his relationship with his daughter (saying unpleasant things about him to his daughter and undermining and criticising him in front of her). She has also attempted to control or undermine their daughter's relationship with other friends or relations connected to him. Recently she got a solicitor to contact him about the childcare arrangements, again requesting that he reduces his time with his daughter. Through negotiations with the solicitor it came to light that his ex partner is receiving legal aid for this matter. We have looked this up and can only find that you can get this if there has been domestic violence or if there is a threat to the child. There has be no domestic violence, and no accusations to our knowledge. To receive legal aid she must have got someone to write a statement. It says police or health professional. She has problems so has had contact with social services about her own issues. Is it possible that she could have got a health professional to write a statement without my partners knowledge? Is there any way that my partner can get information about this and challenge what is documented if necessary? Is there any other reason why someone might be able to get legal aid for a family dispute?

Our Response:
You can see the full details of how your partner's ex has been able to obtain Legal Aid, via the link here . I'm afraid I cannot predict how his ex may have obtained Legal Aid as it would be pure supposition. However, if your partner feels his ex is claiming legal Aid fraudulently, please see link here which tell you how he can report this.
SeparatedDads - 10-Feb-17 @ 12:59 PM
In July 2016, I was falsely accused of ABH by a now ex partner who I was with from 2002 until 2016. On the third day of February 2017 at Bristol Crown court I was found unanimously not guilty. My ex Joanna FEATHERY made two statements that both contradicted herself, also her court room evidence given at Bath court on the 11th November 2013 and then again at Bristol crown on the 3rd feb 2017 ALSO contradicted her story. Even her two witness’s contracted her story. Basically she lied on all four accounts. I have copies of both her statements, the court transcript from Bath courts and am awaiting the transcript from Bristol Crown. I used Sansbury Douglas solicitors for my defence and they empowered a very fine and upstanding barrister David Maunder. I am wanting to pursue her for the surgery and false allegations she made against me for 218 days. How do I claim against her for this? Can you help?
Lord Giles - 10-Feb-17 @ 11:20 AM
Hi I am looking for advice on behalf of my partner. He currently has an informal agreement for shared residence/care of his daughter. This has been in place since he separated with his ex nearly 5 years ago. His ex has not been happy with the arrangement for a number of years and has been trying to reduce his time to something more like a contact arrangement, with him seeing his daughter every other weekend, one weekend in three etc. My partner has rejected these proposals as he is keen to continue with the shared residence/ care arrangement that is already in place. His ex has tried various ways of getting her way. She has withheld their daughter at agreed handover times, attempted to pick her up from school on his days, tried to dictate how he spends his time with his daughter (threatening not to honour handover arrangements if he does not comply). She has also tried to erode his relationship with his daughter (saying unpleasant things about him to his daughter and undermining and criticising him in front of her). She has also attempted to control or undermine their daughter's relationship with other friends or relations connected to him. Recently she got a solicitor to contact him about the childcare arrangements, again requesting that he reduces his time with his daughter. Through negotiations with the solicitor it came to light that his ex partner is receiving legal aid for this matter. We have looked this up and can only find that you can get this if there has been domestic violence or if there is a threat to the child. There has be no domestic violence, and no accusations to our knowledge. To receive legal aid she must have got someone to write a statement. It says police or health professional. She has problems so has had contact with social services about her own issues. Is it possible that she could have got a health professional to write a statement without my partners knowledge? Is there any way that my partner can get information about this and challenge what is documented if necessary? Is there any other reason why someone might be able to get legal aid for a family dispute?
m - 9-Feb-17 @ 12:25 PM
Stevie - Your Question:
Hi just asking if anyone knows if I could get sentenced as to my ex girlfriend has had me arrested for domestic violence she said I had grabbed her wrist and pulled her I did do that and I have made a mark on her wrist. Is this evidence that I could get sentenced? The police have taken pictures of her wrist aswell, what's the outcome of this??

Our Response:
I'm afraid we cannot answer this as much depends upon whether you have had any previous DV convictions, the extent of the harm. However, if the DV was a mark and no more injuries, and you have not had any previous convictions it is highly unlikely you would be given a prison sentence.
SeparatedDads - 6-Feb-17 @ 2:13 PM
Hi just asking if anyone knows if I could get sentenced as to my ex girlfriend has had me arrested for domestic violence she said I had grabbed her wrist and pulled her i did do that and I have made a mark on her wrist. Is this evidence that I could get sentenced? The police have taken pictures of her wrist aswell, what's the outcome of this??
Stevie - 4-Feb-17 @ 8:56 PM
daz - Your Question:
Please someone help.my partner of 13 years living with for past 7. rang police on me on Sunday night because I wouldn't give her MY phone. police arrived and because had few drinks they drove me car and took me to hotel to prevent anything that might happen but no charges or allegations.On Monday had an incline as her mother always gets involved as we rent from her. I turned up which I found she was trying to change locks with my 2 young children there my partner was at work. I got in house and rang police.they came and asked her to leave. my partner then turned up furious along with her mother.they phoned police saying was disgrace I was allowed to stay with my past. (8 years ago there was domestic violence).police again said id done nothing wrong and if she wanted to leave to her mums she should. My partner then wouldn't return calls for 2 days or let me see kids she disappeared. Then out of blue last night a court official turned up issuing me with a non molestation order and a housing order for me to leave in 24 hours!!! im not allowed to go within 100 yards of her house work kids.anything!! I was staggered that a judge took her and her mums words that my past 8 years ago was enough to sanction this by them saying they were scared of me. A hearing has been set for next Wednesday but I am currently homeless with no money as I gave her the the majority of money for rent and bills at start of month. To make things even more weird.i was last year involved in stopping my ex wife adopt my child from a previous marriage.with my current partner and mother giving me a glowing review in court to how I have changed and what a great dad I am. How can they say one thing six months ago in writing to a court then all of a sudden get this order bringing up my past!!! please someone help.i haven't seen my kids for 4 days now and cant even speak to them.im devastated

Our Response:
I'm afraid in this instance you would have to seek legal advice (Citizens Advice Bureau will be able to help if you cannot afford legal fees). I'm afraid we cannot predict what may happen in court - but if you need external help please see link Using a McKenzie Friend in Court here. Please also see link here which may help.
SeparatedDads - 13-Jan-17 @ 12:10 PM
Please someone help....my partner of 13 years living with for past 7. rang police on me on Sunday night because I wouldn't give her MY phone.police arrived and because had few drinks they drove me car and took me to hotel to prevent anything that might happen but no charges or allegations..On Monday had an incline as her mother always gets involved as we rent from her. I turned up which I found she was trying to change locks with my 2 young children there my partner was at work.I got in house and rang police..they came and asked her to leave. my partner then turned up furious along with her mother..they phoned police saying was disgrace I was allowed to stay with my past.(8 years ago there was domestic violence)..police again said id done nothing wrong and if she wanted to leave to her mums she should.My partner then wouldn't return calls for 2 days or let me see kids she disappeared. Then out of blue last night a court official turned up issuing me with a non molestation order and a housing order for me to leave in 24 hours!!! im not allowed to go within 100 yards of her house work kids..anything!! i was staggered that a judge took her and her mums words that my past 8 years ago was enough to sanction this by them saying they were scared of me. A hearing has been set fornext Wednesday but I am currently homeless with no money as I gave her the the majority of money for rent and bills at start of month.To make things even more weird..i was last year involved in stopping my ex wife adopt my child from a previous marriage..with my current partner and mother giving me a glowing review in court to how I have changed and what a great dad I am.How can they say one thing six months ago in writing to a court then all of a sudden get this order bringing up my past!!! please someone help..i haven't seen my kids for 4 days now and cant even speak to them..im devastated
daz - 12-Jan-17 @ 3:19 PM
Please someone help....my partner of 13 years living with for past 7. rang police on me on Sunday night because I wouldn't give her MY phone.police arrived and because had few drinks they drove me car and took me to hotel to prevent anything that might happen but no charges or allegations..On Monday had an incline as her mother always gets involved as we rent from her. I turned up which I found she was trying to change locks with my 2 young children there my partner was at work.I got in house and rang police..they came and asked her to leave. my partner then turned up furious along with her mother..they phoned police saying was disgrace I was allowed to stay with my past.(8 years ago there was domestic violence)..police again said id done nothing wrong and if she wanted to leave to her mums she should.My partner then wouldn't return calls for 2 days or let me see kids she disappeared. Then out of blue last night a court official turned up issuing me with a non molestation order and a housing order for me to leave in 24 hours!!! im not allowed to go within 100 yards of her house work kids..anything!! i was staggered that a judge took her and her mums words that my past 8 years ago was enough to sanction this by them saying they were scared of me. A hearing has been set fornext Wednesday but I am currently homeless with no money as I gave her the the majority of money for rent and bills at start of month.To make things even more weird..i was last year involved in stopping my ex wife adopt my child from a previous marriage..with my current partner and mother giving me a glowing review in court to how I have changed and what a great dad I am.How can they say one thing six months ago in writing to a court then all of a sudden get this order bringing up my past!!! please someone help..i haven't seen my kids for 4 days now and cant even speak to them..im devastated
daz - 12-Jan-17 @ 3:10 PM
@Distraught dad - the first thing I'd do is make her your ex partner asap! The CPS will make up its own mind about whether it wants to prosecute you, so if your ex threw the bottle at you, you have to tell the truth. It won't pay you to protect her. Next time you may not be so fortunate to escape her allegations, so I'd get out of the relationship as fast as you can! KC.
KCSunshine - 9-Jan-17 @ 11:10 AM
Please can someone help me out. My ex partner rang the police to say i attacked her, social services is now invloved and told her im not allowed near my daughter. She went to the poilce told them she over reacted and dropped charges an now i dont have to go to court or nothing. Once the soical workers be informed that she made it up what can happend? Will they close the case or what??
Bobo - 8-Jan-17 @ 2:28 PM
Hi My current partner has called the police on me twice before and had me arrested for assualt where in fact it was her that has assaulted me and then freaked out and called police.Both times the charges were dropped; the first time there was simply nothing to back up her nonsense and the second time she had claimed being attacked and having her phone smashed in a hotel and luckily cctv showed that I had not assaulted her as she claimed although I had picked up her phone and thrown it for which I got a caution for criminal damage. Now we have had a third time on a night out where she has called the police after throwing things at me in a hotel room and attaching me.She assaulted me but then called the police on me.I am now on bail and she has withdrawn the charges but I'm concerned that this time things will go further when I go in for interview. When the police met her she claims that she had a swollen lip (I'm not sure how she would have this and I have not seen evidence of it myself) and that the policeman noted this but did not take pictures.Apparently the police also took pictures of a smashed bottle in the hotel room which she alleged I threw at her (but in fact she threw at me!).I am now totally lost at what to do as do not want to start getting her in trouble and starting a battle that will make things worse by telling police about her assaulting me but at the same time I'm concerned that this will be seen as enough "evidence" to take me to court which I desperately want to avoid.Any advice?
Distraught dad - 8-Jan-17 @ 12:02 PM
Hi My current partner has called the police on me twice before and had me arrested for assualt where in fact it was her that has assaulted me and then freaked out and called police.Both times the charges were dropped; the first time there was simply nothing to back up her nonsense and the second time she had claimed being attacked and having her phone smashed in a hotel and luckily cctv showed that I had not assaulted her as she claimed although I had picked up her phone and thrown it for which I got a caution for criminal damage. Now we have had a third time on a night out where she has called the police after throwing things at me in a hotel room and attaching me.She assaulted me but then called the police on me.I am now on bail and she has withdrawn the charges but I'm concerned that this time things will go further when I go in for interview. When the police met her she claims that she had a swollen lip (I'm not sure how she would have this and I have not seen evidence of it myself) and that the policeman noted this but did not take pictures.Apparently the police also took pictures of a smashed bottle in the hotel room which she alleged I threw at her (but in fact she threw at me!).I am now totally lost at what to do as do not want to start getting her in trouble and starting a battle that will make things worse by telling police about her assaulting me but at the same time I'm concerned that this will be seen as enough "evidence" to take me to court which I desperately want to avoid.Any advice?
Distraught dad - 7-Jan-17 @ 11:20 PM
Hi My current partner has called the police on me twice before and had me arrested for assualt where in fact it was her that has assaulted me and then freaked out and called police.Both times the charges were dropped; the first time there was simply nothing to back up her nonsense and the second time she had claimed being attacked and having her phone smashed in a hotel and luckily cctv showed that I had not assaulted her as she claimed although I had picked up her phone and thrown it for which I got a caution for criminal damage. Now we have had a third time on a night out where she has called the police after throwing things at me in a hotel room and attaching me.She assaulted me but then called the police on me.I am now on bail and she has withdrawn the charges but I'm concerned that this time things will go further when I go in for interview. When the police met her she claims that she had a swollen lip (I'm not sure how she would have this and I have not seen evidence of it myself) and that the policeman noted this but did not take pictures.Apparently the police also took pictures of a smashed bottle in the hotel room which she alleged I threw at her (but in fact she threw at me!).I am now totally lost at what to do as do not want to start getting her in trouble and starting a battle that will make things worse by telling police about her assaulting me but at the same time I'm concerned that this will be seen as enough "evidence" to take me to court which I desperately want to avoid.Any advice?
Distraught dad - 7-Jan-17 @ 5:27 PM
ihave read through some of these stories and i do feel for those people wrongly convicted,the courts are so frightened of getting it wrong they are making the decision to do what they thinks best, not justice, my daughter attacked me clawed my face, i pushed my wife to one side to protect her from getting injured, my daughter was standing behind her at the time, i manage to restraintmy daughter and took her to the floor were i held her for no longer than10 seconds, to prevent her continuing the attack,once she had stopped trying to get away from me to continue the attack i let her go,my daughter and my wife made allegations against me that i attacked them two,my daughter produced pictures of her injuries that was taken by her mobile phone, no medical evidence to support this, the pictures show no marks of any kind, she also has pictures of her head showing a small bald patch half the size of your small fingernail she states this his were i pulled her hair out , my daughter has had hair extensions andhad them removed two months prior to this incident, my wife said i grabbed her by the throat and pushed her to one side , no injuries or marks on wife reported, i went to magistrate court and even though it was shown in court my daughter was the aggressor i was found guilty on both charges of assault by beatings, and used excess force when restraining my daughter, and assault on my wife by pushing her andhow they can determine excess force when i held my daughter for 10 seconds beggars belief. what deeply concerns me my daughter was allowed to photograph her own injuries and not in presence of a police officer and hand them into to the police station some 10 days after the incident, is this normal police practice now ?should at the time of the allegations were made the police should of taken her to the police station to seek medical verification and photographed at the police station ?? the pictures are of such bad quality and show a knee,and a leg and her head, the pictures does not show any injuryand cantbe verified they are in fact pictures of my daughter!!.. so what did the magistrates find me guilty of.???? i had the only picture of my facial injury that was clear to see , when this was shown to the magistrates they gasped and commented my god, And ladies and gentleman is what convicted me, by the photographs that was seen in court the magistrates knew there had been a conflict between myself and my daughter who is 22yrs oldthey took less than 5 minutes to deliberate the evidence to find me guilty . i have no history of violence what so ever the police have never attended my house for any previous incident, i had been with my wife for 36yrs , i have now lost everything they put injunctions on me and could not go to my house or even in the road, this has been over a year now the house has been sold and is now going back to crown court.
frustrated john - 6-Jan-17 @ 6:39 PM
RoJo - Your Question:
Thanks so much - reading them now feeling more positive than before!

Our Response:
You're welcome - it is always much better to get an overall view, then you can make an informed decision on how to approach the matter objectively. Our Separated Dads forum may also help you, if you have any specific questions. The dads who help out on the forum also know how the system works and can advise further. Feeling supported so you know you are not the only person going through this can help massively. Best of luck.
SeparatedDads - 6-Jan-17 @ 11:29 AM
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