Home > Lies in Separation > Being Falsely Accused of Domestic Violence

Being Falsely Accused of Domestic Violence

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 2 Feb 2018 |
 
False Accusation Rape Sexual Offence

Every year, many people in the UK are falsely accused of domestic violence. The reasons for this are wide-ranging. Some partners or ex-partners make up allegations of domestic violence to get out of a relationship that they are otherwise unhappy with, others do it to spite their partners, while some still want to ensure that they stop (usually) the father from seeing the children.

In other circumstances, a stranger, someone you know, or perhaps your child’s teacher could become concerned about an injury to your child or something your child says – and refers Social Services to you. The tragic fact is that this does happen to people who are totally innocent of any crime. Sadly, although in this country you are ‘innocent until proven guilty’, the truth is that sometimes people can get charged and found guilty for domestic violence on very little evidence.

What Can Happen

You can be arrested while in your own home, in front of your partner and children, and in full view of the neighbours. Then you can be taken to the police station, your DNA taken and held on file, and interviewed while under caution. You could find yourself in court, charged with an offence for which you have done nothing wrong. Worst of all, you could end up with a criminal conviction and sent to prison. The problem is, when emotions are running high after a break up or divorce, one call to the police can have far-reaching consequences. If word gets around your local community, you could suffer verbal abuse, harassment or worse for being a ‘monster’.

Your Rights

If this happens to you, you need to be aware of your rights. You are entitled to legal advice at the police station. If you waive your right, you may end up saying something that could be misconstrued, especially if you are tired or are lulled into a false sense of security by the interviewing officers. There have been many cases that have been successfully brought by the Crown Prosecution Service purely on the basis of an admission in interview at the police station.

If you do speak to a lawyer, tell them the truth because if you are coy, or uncooperative, they are not going to be able to advise you properly. The police may bail you to return to the police station on another date. If they do this, you MUST ensure you go back on the day and at the time specified, or you will be charged with an offence of ‘failure to surrender’ and a warrant may be issued for your arrest. If you are innocent of any crime, be persistent, stick to the truth and try your best not to get angry at any stage. If you find yourself in court, it is vital that you come across as genuine and sincere about your innocence.

Implications For Your Accuser

If your partner or ex-partner accuses you of domestic violence, when you have in fact done nothing wrong, by the time the police are involved your ex has already committed a criminal offence for which they could receive a prison sentence of up to six months. If they then go on to falsify evidence to the authorities – the police, social services etc – they are then perverting the course of justice. If the case actually gets to court, and you find yourself in the dock on trial for something you haven’t done, your accuser would in most circumstances have to give evidence in court. If they are still lying at this stage, they are committing perjury. These are all serious criminal offences for which your ex-partner could serve a long prison sentence.

See our articles on Being Falsely Accused Of Child Abuse and Being Falsely Accused Of Rape on this site.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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What do you do when the police do not get a statement from a key witness in a DV case.
DefendToTheEnd - 2-Feb-18 @ 7:56 PM
I have quite a different story. I sponsored my ex (NON EU) from another country. She basically used me to get into the country in August 2016. We lived together till 28th August 2016 when I went to Dubai for business purposes and later to Canada for my father's cancer treatment. While I was in Canada her behavior was changed and on 18th September 2016 she left the home and went somewhere unknown to me. I went back to UK in November 2016 and spoke with family lawyer who advised me to cancel her Sponsorship via Home Office (Which I did). Lawyer advised me not to approach her and not ever try to find where she lives as it will be bad for me in long run after she finds out that she is not legal in the country. December 2016 I filed for Divorce in the country where we were married and got the divorce certificate in March 2017. Since she found out that she is not legal in UK anymore and she can't work, she went to a lawyer who told her to file (Domestic Violence) case which is the only way to stay in the country, while doing that apply for divorce within UK to get financial support from me. She did all this in November 2017. I only received a letter from her law firm which includes (Petition for Divorce). In this petition her lawyer wrote there is a separate investigation going on regarding (DV, Physical and Mental plus Rape). My question to everyone here, I am not yet contacted by the court regarding the divorce petition as my home address is mention on the petition put forward by the law firm. Since the law firm wrote in the petition that I am an abusive person and another investigation is on going against me. I am never been contacted by the police, I was out of country for many months but no phone calls, no letter at my address or even knock at the door as I asked my cousin who live with me. Are these lawyers bluffing in the petition? if not, since I have done nothing wrong in my entire time with her if police approch me and interview me. Can I press charges against her later? Because I really don't want her to do it to any other person in future.
adam - 23-Jan-18 @ 4:28 PM
I was falsely imprisoned for simply wishing to leave an abusive partner who totally fabricated the whole story about me to the authorities. Walk away at the earliest time you can is my advice and make sure you do it secretly when you are away out from them so they don't even expect it-so they can't have a go at you or get verbal or violent as you yourself longer you stay with an abusive controlling individual. The cycle of abuse will continue to happen time and time again the longer you stay with them. Leave, at the earliest you can, although this can be difficult for some people-you must convince yourself there is a better life out there compared to the one you don't want no more.Also you must never go back as this is the only possible way you can have a nice future and peace of mind with yourself in the future. Most of all be-strong, forget the possessions you may have to leave behind, you can replace all those at another time easily. Leave asap is the only positive way forward to change your life for the life you want. A happy one.
Mr Christian - 21-Jan-18 @ 11:46 PM
My sons soon to be exwife is telling everybody that they know that my son beat her, and it is just untrue. They have 3 small children.He owns his own business and i am afraid its affecting his business.What can he do.
Tammbra - 15-Jan-18 @ 2:00 PM
The name says it all. Too many ladies make up false allegations to get one over on dad and to get the legal upper hand. You guys need to be smart about all of this. Walk away and say nothing. Defend yourself legally. When that's all sorted out you just need to simply have her beaten. The more beatings she gets, the sooner she will realize that police, courts, and false protection orders really don't protect a person from another person intend on evening the score. You have to ask yourself this.. would you rather have a person respect you or fear you? Remember the last time you lost respect for someone? That's pretty easy to do. Do you remember the last time you stopped being afraid of someone? You never really stop being afraid of someone. That's what needs to be beaten into her head. False reports, false court applications equals a truly false sense of security. Get her beaten at work, have her punched out picking up the kid, get her bounced around a few times when shes out shopping for food. Slash the tires, damage the vehicle. The harder you hit ladies like this the faster they dummy up and the sooner they realize false police reports and protection orders might be fun for mom, but dad always even the score with a good old fashion beating you never see coming, again, and again, and again.
Right Hook - 24-Dec-17 @ 4:42 AM
The name says it all. Too many ladies make up false allegations to get one over on dad and to get the legal upper hand. You guys need to be smart about all of this. Walk away and say nothing. Defend yourself legally. When that's all sorted out you just need to simply have her beaten. The more beatings she gets, the sooner she will realize that police, courts, and false protection orders really don't protect a person from another person intend on evening the score. You have to ask yourself this.. would you rather have a person respect you or fear you? Remember the last time you lost respect for someone? That's pretty easy to do. Do you remember the last time you stopped being afraid of someone? You never really stop being afraid of someone. That's what needs to be beaten into her head. False reports, false court applications equals a truly false sense of security. Get her beaten at work, have her punched out picking up the kid, get her bounced around a few times when shes out shopping for food. Slash the tires, damage the vehicle. The harder you hit ladies like this the faster they dummy up and the sooner they realize false police reports and protection orders might be fun for mom, but dad always even the score with a good old fashion beating you never see coming, again, and again, and again.
Right Hook - 24-Dec-17 @ 4:41 AM
@Paddy - are there kids involved?
SiBV - 5-Dec-17 @ 2:51 PM
My son has been put through hell. His ex partner whom he comowned a property with has used every trick in the book, Andy because he will not agree to her outrageous demands for a financial settlement in the property of which there is no equity has now claimed domestic violence and abuse against him.He was arrested last week, released after ten hours, with no charges brought. (I should state that she has a personal hotline to the already over stretched police force and they have been called several times, every time, asked a few questions then left). On Friday son was notified that some mail had been put through his mothers door, hand delivered.. (he has been denied access to his home as partner has locked him out, even though she wasn't living there) and only she has access. He received was a non molestation order and anapplication by her for an Occupation Order with a full hearing on the Monday, two days later!I contacted his solicitor who said he would accompany him to the court. I expected it to be heard and an adjournment so that my son could put a defence together with evidence to refute the ridiculous accusations and lies told him a supposed sworn statement. However, that was not the case. The judge had made up her mind, he didn't even speak and both orders were granted, just like that! How can this be fair?! He is now homeless because her need is greater than his apparently, although she is living elsewhere.
Paddy - 5-Dec-17 @ 12:22 PM
Me & (soon to be) ex wife have been getting on great, I moved out 6weeks ago but regularly visit to help her. All was good until I fell asleep at our house and she went through my phone finding text from what can only be described as a girl who is just a friend. She went beserk and while I was sleeping attacked me leaving cuts, bruises and gouging all over me. Waking to this I’ve pushed her off and defended myself. She then called the police, I was arrested and charged with assaulting her and now on bail pending the court case! She has no marks on her. Can’t I get her prosecuted for ABH?
Tim - 13-Nov-17 @ 12:44 PM
Hello, I have a daughter with my former wife. She claimed domestic violence, which I did not do, for our divorce. Do I still need to have a mediation in the bid to access my daughter, or apply straight to court? Thanks.
AndMo - 13-Nov-17 @ 9:33 AM
I have recently split with my parter who has 2 children from a previous relationship and we have a daughter together i took my daughter into my care as was concerned for her saftey and contacted social work to make sure that i was within my rights wich i was told i was after a few days my ex contacted police accusing me of domestic abuse police came and removed me from my own home infront of my daughter i was released without charge then social work advised my ex to go to solicitor to get our back into her care then social work started a child protection case against me due to her false allegations during thier investigations i wasnt allowed to see any of my children nor was i being kept inthe loop of what was happening and the social worker was making biased decisions about me saying she knows that i was an evil person without speaking to me and when i raised my concerns i was told i had no right to a solicitor and was denyed the right to have a mail social worker present when being questioned i have tourrettes and no attempt has been madeto accomodate my ilness and no letters letting me know when the protection case meeting was taking place also my ex had several visits from a social worker and was being advised to press charges and other things to help her case of false allegations while i had to contact them for any information wich i didnt recieve And was told i just have to wait untill the investigations wer complete i had to go to thier offices to collect the report wich had so many mistakes with kids names adresses ànd stated that i would be impossible to work with as i denyed any violence when asked so the female social worker had decided i was an abuser before speaking with me when ther has never been any history or reports of violence in my life so i now have to go to a case meeting where the social worker has decided she thinks im an evil and abusive person and would like to know if i have to accept this as i thought we are supposed to be innocent untill proven guilty in this country and do i have to accept thier treatment which i feel is unfair as ther is no evidence to support thieror my ex partners accusations thanks in advance
Rcba - 22-Oct-17 @ 10:45 PM
@Sab1971 - there is nothing you can do, except to apply back to court for more access to your kids now the allegations have been found to be untrue.
Copeland67 - 17-Oct-17 @ 1:57 PM
Diamond - Your Question:
Not sure if you can help as we are in Scotland and I know the law is different. If you can then I will try to tell you the whole story. I am doing this on behalf of my son who has gone through a horrible time with his ex and basically except for a short period in the middle of a year long battle has not seen his 8 year old son.

Our Response:
You may wish to seek legal advice where domestic violence is concerened. We can only give general guidance and legal advice is always suggested in situations such as this. You may wish to use the Separated Dads forum, which may help from a more personal angle.
SeparatedDads - 16-Oct-17 @ 12:39 PM
Not sure if you can help as we are in Scotland and I know the law is different. If you can then I will try to tell you the whole story. I am doing this on behalf of my son who has gone through a horrible time with his ex and basically except for a short period in the middle of a year long battle has not seen his 8 year old son.
Diamond - 15-Oct-17 @ 9:01 AM
My ex wife made a whole host of false allegations against me 3 months ago. I was arrested for Controlling and Coercive behaviour under the domestic violence crime. All af the allegations were false and included such things as controlling her bank account and alcohol abuse. I had plenty of evidence that the allegations were untrue and that she was only making them to remove me from the house and prevent me from seeing my children. I am lucky, I heard last night that the CPS are not taking any further action. What I need to know now is what I can do to prevent her from making further false allegations and smearing my name further. I was the main carer of our children before all of this and now I only see them for a few hours a week. Whilst I was on bail Cafcas advised during an interim hearing that I should have limited contact due to the allegations made and so now that is obviously no longer relevant. Also, the police don’t seem interested in doing anything about the false allegations or wasting police time. Do I have to ask them to do this or should it be automatic? Any advice would be much appreciated - I really don’t want her to get away with this - I have been made homeless and many of my friends have abandoned me as a direct result of what I was being accused of. Thanks in advance
Sab1971 - 14-Oct-17 @ 10:11 PM
My ex wife made a whole host of false allegations against me 3 months ago. I was arrested for Controlling and Coercive behaviour under the domestic violence crime. All af the allegations were false and included such things as controlling her bank account and alcohol abuse. I had plenty of evidence that the allegations were untrue and that she was only making them to remove me from the house and prevent me from seeing my children. I am lucky, I heard last night that the CPS are not taking any further action. What I need to know now is what I can do to prevent her from making further false allegations and smearing my name further. I was the main carer of our children before all of this and now I only see them for a few hours a week. Whilst I was on bail Cafcas advised during an interim hearing that I should have limited contact due to the allegations made and so now that is obviously no longer relevant. Also, the police don’t seem interested in doing anything about the false allegations or wasting police time. Do I have to ask them to do this or should it be automatic? Any advice would be much appreciated - I really don’t want her to get away with this - I have been made homeless and many of my friends have abandoned me as a direct result of what I was being accused of. Thanks in advance
Sab1971 - 14-Oct-17 @ 9:10 PM
My self and my 2 kids have been falsely accussed of me, cutting off my boyfriends daughters hair when I did not, that my 2 kids who r 12 and 9yrs bully his kid who are the same age , false, that I alway lie , because I tell the kids to do,the right thing and they want their way they lie always righf jn front of my face.these kids ho to contact with their mum and are always rude, talk to me with no respect. The mum coach the kids jn their behavior which is really bad, she has alleged that we r alcoholic s , she has coached her 12yrs old son to take pictures when we all go out with them, she has alleged that I don't clean because the she asked yhe son to ring on FaceTime to spy on us, he showed the kids rokm, now, caffcus r in volved, we r going to court she started all the lies and coaching the children when she knew my boyfriend wanted to change the contact so she started to coach the kids to be ruthless This women has told soo much lies and impacted on her kids so much it's horrible My two kids see everything,even neighbors .have the change in them,, the lady who looked after them gor 2 yrs before I came saw the changes. 3 Yrs Ago my boyfriend had a girlfriend and his ex did the same thing, made false allegations against her kids and filed for custody of the kids . My Boyfriend has had custody for 9 yrs. How do I protect myself and my 2 kids from this because it's geting worse . Caffcus are involved , she called police on us and the checked and saw no concern
Tari - 4-Oct-17 @ 2:12 PM
@Wendy. Cafcass have to listen to the allegations, but they don't have to act upon them. If the allegations were dropped then the court has to take this on board. If the allegations weren't dropped, your son would never have got this far to even be discussing it with Cafcass.
OHolt - 29-Sep-17 @ 11:30 AM
My son was accused of rape , on presentance bail for 18 months , then charged . Spiteful ex didn't want him in his children's lives and spoil new set up with new boyfriend . Long story short . It went to crown court and he was proven to be not guilty on all 7 counts a just result , faith restored in justice system . Today we were back at family court and his ex is acting like crown court never happen ! Same allegations and now spouting safeguarding the children , cafcass were with her upholding the same allegations he's been cleared of ! This can't be right or lawful . But their listening to her even after she been proven to be a liar ! Where's the justice for the fathers if it was a woman they'd be shouting equal rights ! But it seems fathers arnt given equality in these matters . It's a disgrace !
Wendy - 28-Sep-17 @ 6:09 PM
Alli. - Your Question:
My brother is being tried for rape on accusation of his ex wife he indeed not even touch her. it's a tactic of revenge as she decided to leave him when he was away for work cleaned out the house of brand new furniture his bank accounts of money as he has honesty n has shared all of everything with her! She never worked he provided quite a luxury of life for her. Not she's screaming rape! There is an such eveiendnce even supporting this. nothing other then making a statement of police report? He is facing a rape charge which consists of a 3 year jail sentence! It has cost him $50.000 Canadian funds.all isn't said n done. can I get some guidance ?? Please. I am from Canada ???? any ideas?

Our Response:
Unfortunately, as we are a UK-based website, we only can give advice on the back of UK-family law. However, unless your brother's ex can supply is sufficient evidence, it is very difficult to prove and therefore your brother would be unlikely to be convicted.
SeparatedDads - 28-Sep-17 @ 12:24 PM
My brother is being tried for rape on accusation of his ex wife he indeed not even touch her .. it's a tactic of revenge as she decided to leave him when he was away for work cleaned out the house ofbrand new furniture his bank accounts of money as he hashonesty n has shared all of everything with her! She never worked he provided quite a luxury of life for her . Not she's screaming rape! There is an such eveiendnce even supporting this.. nothing other then making a statement of police report? He is facing a rape charge which consists of a 3 year jail sentence! It has cost him $50.000 Canadian funds.all isn't said n done ... can I get some guidance ?? Please ... I am from Canada ???? any ideas?
Alli. - 27-Sep-17 @ 9:46 PM
I have just taken my ex partner to court toget access to my son which she stopped out of spite she went to a solicitor and said I had been violent towards her during the relationship baring in mind I've never been in trouble with the police and I've got no criminal record. So i was in court today and the court asked me what job i am doing and im currently about to start phase 1 in the British Army as this was said things went downhill,My ex has said I've been violent to heron multiple occasions baring in mind it's bs and there was no police reports filed and she has also said I can see my son only if supervised. Now this became a massive shock to me as shes blocked me out his life for 4 months. Now im expected another court hearing in January and as i was leaving today the court advisers have said the allegations will be going to the police baring in mind theres no proof or anything, I just want to know how this works, will it stop me having a future job roles which im aiming for or will it go down as a criminal offence, I've only just turned 18 and i haven't a clue what going on tbh, Can someone tell me what to do and how this stuff works
temp - 22-Sep-17 @ 4:43 PM
Justice - Your Question:
Guys, I’ve read so many on here and I am genuinely able to help. I’m a law graduate and have suffered something similar here before, I became an expert in this field. Send me your email and I’ll do my best to help as many as I can.

Our Response:
You might like to join the Separated Dads forum if you wish to offer advice. We can not allow private messaging via this site, or via the forum. But you are free to answer any of the comments openly on the forum or on any of the Separated Dads pages where all can see. Many thanks.
SeparatedDads - 22-Sep-17 @ 10:07 AM
Guys, I’ve read so many on here and I am genuinely able to help. I’m a law graduate and have suffered something similar here before, I became an expert in this field. Send me your email and I’ll do my best to help as many as I can...
Justice - 21-Sep-17 @ 2:00 AM
I was falsely accused of domestic violence by my baby mother,we are not married but we have 2 kids together, she's was an illegal immigrant but I helped her sort out her papers now, I've been paying both her rent and mine,so when I got this 2 bed flat from the housing association I said she can stay with me till she sort herself out not knowing I've invited trouble. Now I have been kicked out of my house for the last 6 months, our case in the magistrates court. I am really frustrated by the system that allowed this lady to take such advantage of me. Pls I need advice on how I can get her out of my flat. I pay the rent and all the bills till date. But the court still allow her to live in my flat toll free. Please help me.
Ade - 18-Sep-17 @ 9:37 PM
im currently going through the courts with my ex partner in regards to our daughter, in 2015 she set me up for a crime i didnt do or never would do common assault she caused injury to herself and put the blame on me, she later dropped the charges that i would of fought all the way in a trial, social services got involved because she has 2 other children and she lied to them too saying i did it so they would repeat what she said to other and social, i made the mistake to go back there and later she gave birth 9 months on, im not looking for advise i just want to make awareness its not right and i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy
zac - 18-Sep-17 @ 4:51 PM
My son is now beginning to go through it the girl did it to her other child's father so she knows exactly what to do. She is the violent one police asked my son if he would like to press charges then they never went back to him and he decided to try keep it amicable so he could see he's son. He has kept away had no contact at all and she managesaid to get an emergency injuction on him can anyone tell me how this is possible.
Liss - 12-Sep-17 @ 5:21 PM
Sorry to have read all the comments and unfortunately I have fallen into the same trap.My wife in 2015 accused me of raping her but unfortunately I knew something was lurking in her mind-she was sexually assaulted by her cousin when she was 15-understandable but the words still ring in my mind but it never went any further-she seeked councelling soon after.With hearing those words I didn't hit her-she wanted a reaction-don't give your partner the satisfaction-walk away.In 2017 my wife went to the police to try and get me done for domestic abuse on the financial front but I had always done the finances from day one and we have a son of just under 3 yrs old.She left the martial home "telling everyone in her family" it was domestic abuse".So she left whilst I was at work under the secrecy of the police and social services and I knew this wasn't true but it was heart wrenching not knowing where my son was at the time.All along it wasn't true I wasn't charged or cautioned.She just wanted out.All she had to do was speak to me and I wouldn't have stopped her from leaving.It is now four months to the day since she left but in that time I have a shared parenting agreement.I have ring fenced our two properties so that she cant get her hands on the equity.Over the past four months I have not stooped to her level with evil comments like "you drunk" smoking weed" I pride myself.But I am one of the lucky ones just to get out alive but in four months she has written me an e-mail trying to say sorry for the comment " I raped her" which I have in writing from her.I have followed her timeline on social media.In 10 weeks of leaving me she is in a new relationship-I have pasted and copied the evidence.Thats all I need for my divorce then I take her to the dry cleaners financially and I will be getting custody of my son or at least close as dammitt-Women are not allowed to do such things if they are not true-there is so much upheaval but she doesn't know what is coming in the new year.Lesson here is-don't go down to her level be professional,trawl social media sites and check her timelines for evidence and wrong doing-just hang in there.it is hard work but make sure you protect yourself-tables always turn and be patient. To all the separated DADS out there if you have been falsely accused-hang in there.truth always comes out in the wash but mine was easy. Put your child(ren) first My argument is:If she left under Domestic Abuse it would take months if not years to trust men again but 10 weeks of leaving?
shafted - 9-Sep-17 @ 8:35 PM
I was served a non-molestation order recently, with a witness statement packed with lies and omissions. I was given the opportunity to challenge it. But due to finances and not really wanting to put friends on the spot, as well as being advised, not to challenge it! I did not! I didn't challenge the non-molestation simply because when I was home I was being constantly provoked with threats of calling the police, even if I spoke out of turn. So I had to get out for the purpose of safeguarding myself against false accusations. Now that I haven't challenged the order, I'm not sure if a non-molestation goes on my record. No one seems to know? As this now inhibits me working in my previous field of work! Does anybody know?
Goonerjay - 7-Sep-17 @ 9:50 AM
I would like to know if I can have legal assistance before a situation similar to those described in this post. it turns out that me ex mate made me a false claim of which she has not made the effect she has intended and I was released from the commissioner without charges or warnings. she took advantage of my absence while I was at the police station giving a statement to take our daughter and steal all my personal documents and my company apart from computer articles and projects of my work. we have already attended two appointments in the family court to try to resolve with who should live the child and the time that should be spent with the other parent. she continues to make the same allegations without meaning and changing history whenever asked the same questions of details of the facts ... even on the last visit to the family court she has had the nerve to say that I hit her the day I was detained in the police station giving a statement. I need legal guidance on how to handle this or any solicitor who will take care of this case here or recommendation?
Oliver - 3-Sep-17 @ 8:34 PM
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