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Relationship Breakdown: 'Lies' About Behaviour

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 28 Nov 2018 |
 
Lies Divorce False Allegation Partner

When a divorce or separation gets ugly, either party or both parties can begin to fling mud at each other. They do this to undermine each other’s position, or simply because they are angry and hurt. Once two people who once felt extreme passion for one another are no longer together, the emotions can quickly turn to hate. The messiest divorces can become very destructive indeed, as both parties decide that it is all about who ‘wins’ and who ‘loses’. In fact, there are no winners in a divorce. Both parties are losing something that they thought was permanent, a relationship that they at some point thought was going to last forever.

The Truth About Lies

Statistically, more than 75% of the accusations that are made during a divorce are untrue. They arise for several reasons:
  • To cause trouble for the other person or an act of pure revenge
  • To discredit the other person, so that they are closer to ‘winning’
  • A combination of the two, to show how much they are ‘in charge’

Types of Lies

Lies about drug abuse are common when relationships break down. This doesn’t necessarily mean illegal drugs, but also alcohol abuse “she always drank too much, she was embarrassing in public” to “he was addicted to painkillers, without them he became a nightmare”. Another common type of lie is about illegal behaviour. Whether it’s tax fraud, animal cruelty, benefits fraud, or flouting planning permission requirements – you might find yourself faced with a whole load of awful allegations that are completely untrue.

A less common allegation is of satanic worship. It may sound far-fetched but in messy divorces it can happen. All of these allegations are usually a ploy to get you investigated by one or more public or legal authorities. It may be a real nuisance to have to deal with, but in the event that this does happen lies told by an ex-partner are usually very quickly exposed.

Perhaps the most common allegation is of promiscuous behaviour during the relationship. This could range from alleging internet pornography use, a string of affairs with unknown others, or an affair with someone you both knew. A high-profile example of this was when Katie Price accused Peter Andre of having an affair with his agent, and had to pay a substantial sum in damages after he brought a claim for libel in the High Court. Sometimes these allegations can be extreme, such as accusations that you took part in commercially available pornographic films or internet clips. With developments in technology, it’s very easy to see how cropped photographs and forged documents can end up being used to back up these types of lies.

If You Are Accused of a Crime

If you find yourself Falsely Accused Of A Criminal Offence, it’s very important that you know your rights. It is always illegal to falsely accuse someone of a crime, and you should not rest until you have cleared your name. Your accuser may be wasting police time, Perverting The Course Of Justice or Committing Perjury – if your case ends up in court. Hopefully, none of this will ever happen to you but if it does, tell your lawyer the truth and be calm but persistent about what you know to be the correct version of evens.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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raykel337 - 28-Nov-18 @ 8:42 AM
I have been falsely accused of domestic violence by my then partner, who is an alcoholic. The system always works in favour of the female. She hit me 3 times in public and I admitted to the police that I hit her back. This was happening in my home in which I took her in and looked after her. Drink turned her into a very nasty person and still does. Some females use allegations as a weapon and for some reason they do not get punished for it when the allegations are either proved false or the female withdraws the allegations. In my case, she withdrew the allegations. She ended up in a refuge! I could not believe what was happening and it all happened so quickly. It cost me 2 thousand pounds in legal fees when all she had to do was spent 100 odd quid to send a letter off to the CPS stating she didn't want to go ahead with it. Talk about trying to screw someone's life over. This similar thing had happened with one of her exes who did 4 years. I believed it at the time, but seeing as what I went through, I am now doubting it ever happened. When I was released on bail with conditions, she did everything in her power to entice me back to go and see her. I did but it wasn't her that dobbed me in for it. It was one of her family members. I spent a week on remand in prison because of it. Disgusting behaviour. also the lies she was spreading on social media playing the victim has tarnished my name and reputation in this town. If I were that was towards her, then why the hell was she asking me back all of the time. Unbelievable. I know that police have to act on reports by come on, this was clearly a waste of police resources. I still speak to her but live by myself now. Goodness knows why I still speak to her after what she did. She truly believes her own lies and that forms the basis for schizophrenia. I know more about her than what her own family know. Either that, or they choose to ignore everything about her. She's screwed me over good and proper. It's not her that's the victim. I have been the victim.
W4 - 13-Nov-18 @ 7:56 PM
my wife went missing on the 25th of April 2018. The following day, i went to the local police station, where i saw your wife and son. my wife had submitted a report making an allegation of domestic violence against me. The police prevented me from approaching her or my son, and then i were detained and questioned. i were released after several hours pending investigation but with no charges being made. i have not seen or heard from my wife since this time. i believe that my wife and son are still in the Manchester area. My partner made extremely serious but false domestic violence related allegations against me on 25/04/2018. This was done by her to achieve a certain ‘objective’. I was arrested by Police. I Released - Under Investigation im not allow to see my son and i don’t know where they are my wife she come to uk 30/11/2017 and she makefalse allegations I’m deny these allegations and believe outside forces and possible mental health issues are to blame for my wife fabricatingthis complaintit was plan apply for another visa to get benefitthere is same one have advice her to do thatshe don’t know any thank abut the low in uk.and knowit been more the 2 month i didn’t see my son I’m waitingfor police decision i have already contacted Manchester Free Legal Help and the Personal Support Unit at Manchester Civil Justice Centre and, following their advice, have issued an application for a Child Arrangements Order seeking a residence order and contact with my son. i submitted the C100 form, which could not be processed because i do not know my wife’s current address, and therefore i were instructed to submit the C4 Form (application for disclosure of a child’s whereabouts) first. I successfully submitted the C4 Form to my local authority on 008/07 2018
manutd - 8-Jul-18 @ 11:43 PM
Hi there, I been cause by my ex partner for assaulting by beatingbut she provoc me she punched me and I didn t touch her at all.she is working like carer assistant with diseable people and I believe she had injured from work plus she were frustrated cose I tried to recorder her and I didn t want to delete and she heat her face on the door.i been arrested at 8 am and they let me to go at 9 pm.i would like to make a complain against her for domestic violence and as well for false accuse.i have the paper from police like refused charge.the reason for her complain it is the council house in Edgware 2 double bedroomfor 400 pounds monthly.can somebody to give me any advise please?
Sarpe - 5-Jul-18 @ 10:30 PM
malicious, lying, vindictive, narcissistic, vexatious, (oh the irony lol), despicable, "i'm the victim ex, with absolute and utterly total regard to our son has tried and in part succeeded in making my life hell but so much worse our young son. Is it or has it made a difference to anyone now that family court is now not in private. J
J - 8-Apr-18 @ 8:59 PM
Hi my partner has been separated from his ex for 7 years she has constantly accused him of Domestic violence so much so that we have contact the police to advise that the police reports from the section 7 report are incorrect (he's taken her 2 court twice for access of the children). she has a DASH on her so when ever she rings it is treated as high priority, My partner has also advised that when they split she went into refuge to fast track her into getting a house. social service are again involved with the children and again she is making this extremely hard to deal with as refuses to sit in a room with me to discuss the children as she says she's scared of me! but she has no problems standing with me on the football pitch watching them play!!! I'm at a loss at what I can do to clear my name as its all hear say from her I have never been arrested, questioned, interviewed ect but she uses this excuses when ever authority's are involved.
aja - 6-Apr-18 @ 12:55 PM
My x. Cheated repeatedly hides my child .will not talk to me on the phone so mediation is out .i have to go legal i so (disappointing in my x )I never thought it would have been like this for my child I thought we could have stepped above our issues and co parented .but now I have to go to court it’s my last resort .at least visitation will be a (legal binding contract .)I guess I will have to do it like a business deal .i loved this women once never thought she turn like this with my daughter when you think you no someone go figure .oh well it will legal now cold with no feelings I didn’t won’t it these way .but looks like it will be.thanks
Laurie - 4-Apr-18 @ 2:16 AM
Luke - Your Question:
My ex girlfriend started making up that I was controlling her by stopping her going out and seeing friends and family so she told her family plus social services and I was arrested for assault on a child and controlling behavior which was dropped as there was no evidence to prove it but she was still put into a refuge which 2 weeks later she came back to the family home where we was getting on better as parents but behind my back she was still telling people that I was still controlling her and she asked social services to remove here and my 2 sons and know she has changed her number blocked me on social media and isn't allowing me to see my sons so now I have to attend a family mediation meeting to try and resolve it all and if my ex don't take part it will look bad on her and it will end up in court

Our Response:
Mediation is a process which aims to try and help parents to come to an amicable decision. While court is seen as the last resort in the process (where the court will make the decision on both parents' behalf and regarding what it thinks is in the best interests of your children), the court will not make a judgement on a parent if/where mediation has failed.
SeparatedDads - 26-Feb-18 @ 10:40 AM
My ex girlfriend started making up that I was controlling her by stopping her going out and seeing friends and family so she told her family plus social services and I was arrested for assault on a child and controlling behavior which was dropped as there was no evidence to prove it but she was still put into a refuge which 2 weeks later she came back to the family home where we was getting on better as parents but behind my back she was still telling people that I was still controlling her and she asked social services to remove here and my 2 sons and know she has changed her number blocked me on social media and isn't allowing me to see my sons so now I have to attend a family mediation meeting to try and resolve it all and if my ex don't take part it will look bad on her and it will end up in court
Luke - 25-Feb-18 @ 4:38 PM
4 months agomy wife accuse me on domestic abuse - she said that I beat her . The most interest fact is that I BOUGHT HOUSE less than 3 mounts before she accuse me . Than I've been arrestedand after the court hearing court DECEIDE : WE MAY THINK THAT WE BELIVE TO HER . I found out also that my bank accounts are empty ! And on dispute also my mortgage account she mouve to her own without my permission and without giving me a chance even to pay my mortgage Ok . I m going to the highest court and 3 judges , 2 prosecutors , cross examination her for about 2 hours . She mixed totally , she start build new stories etc. The court belive that I'm not guilty . I can't see my kids already 4 months because the social services ,Caafcass knows that I'm guiltyandmy Wife play with allof them . I found out that is ANOTHER person involved on THAT SHE GO ACCUSE ME - her ex colleguewith who she start leaving straight away after she accuse me . Please give me advice I would like to sue her for everything what she did to me and my kids
Julian - 21-Jan-18 @ 11:35 AM
JimboLewis - Your Question:
I eventually had to take my ex to court for contact with my son. It transpired that she'd been plotting against me for months in advance. She did everything she could to try and cause me to react negatively or aggressively, but I kept my cool. I surrounded myself with family and friends to keep my spirits up and also they acted as witnesses. I also advised her I was recording our interactions. In the end she retracted her scott schedule accusations at court and now finally, we can deal with the matter at hand. My advice: Stay calm. Get a solicitor to protect you.or even better, a specialist barrister. Record interactions (after advising her you're doing this) or take along a family member or friend. Don't speak badly of your ex. Stay whiter than white and when things get to court it'll go in your favour. Think before you respond to texts or emails.how will your response be viewed in court.etc. I say again, stay calm! And remember this process is mentally, financially and physically very draining. Do things you enjoy and try to stay healthy. Eat well and keep positive. It will get better! Good luck!

Our Response:
Thanks for your advice. Staying calm is indeed the best way to deal with inflammatory situations from an ex. Also please see the link here . Above all, the important thing to consider is to keep the best interests of your child always in mind.
SeparatedDads - 8-Jan-18 @ 10:21 AM
I eventually had to take my ex to court for contact with my son. It transpired that she'd been plotting against me for months in advance. She did everything she could to try and cause me to react negatively or aggressively, but I kept my cool. I surrounded myself with family and friends to keep my spirits up and also they acted as witnesses. I also advised her I was recording our interactions. In the end she retracted her scott schedule accusations at court and now finally, we can deal with the matter at hand. My advice: Stay calm. Get a solicitor to protect you.or even better, a specialist barrister. Record interactions (after advising her you're doing this) or take along a family member or friend. Don't speak badly of your ex. Stay whiter than white and when things get to court it'll go in your favour. Think before you respond to texts or emails.how will your response be viewed in court.etc. I say again, stay calm! And remember this process is mentally, financially and physically very draining. Do things you enjoy and try to stay healthy. Eat well and keep positive. It will get better! Good luck!
JimboLewis - 7-Jan-18 @ 6:32 PM
My partner at the time in 2011 accused me of domestic violence but the police officer never said or told me of the accusation made by my partner on the day he made the accusations, he left me for a few hours that day but come back, it was three months after that I found in a pocket of his a leaflet for victim support against domestic violence, I asked him and he just lowered his head, I was broken hearted he could accuse me of this, but why did he come back why ask me to marry him, but he was also setting up accounts with my details, emailing the police as if it was me using his email addresses falsely accused me of trying to hack his dads computer also of harrasment,he walked out on me in 2013 to live with the women he was cheating on me with, I have asked to be arrested or for answers towards question asked to police who brought a mental health team into me threatening to section me in hospital if I carry on asking questions and did not shut up and move on, were is the fairness in providing help and support of getting my questions answered and to prove what he accused me of was all lies.
Kim - 22-Nov-17 @ 5:17 PM
Mark - Your Question:
My wife accused me for domestic violence, the she changed her statement at the police station, she told then firs I hit her then she said she hit herself accidentally, after that, the social workers became involved. However, I was released from the police station without charge. 2 months later she applied for disabilities based on fraud claims and she was awarded the standard rate of £300 a month for daily living and mobility allowance, she told me if you dont apply for carer you will be out and never see your children again. So I had to apply for it and I became her carer. This situation continue for over than 18 months. Until I decided to write to the job centre about her fraud claims. However, she continued receiving £300 a months until now because she claimed she is very depressed because of our relation and she was receiving anti depressant from her Gp and through it in the toilet, she told me this £300 is a big gift, and will cover lots of things that she likes , in addition to blue badge for free parking in any place and free bus tickets and free school meals for five children. My question; I have separated from her since three months. She gave me permission to see my children at any time and to take them out, 2 of my children age 11 and 13 told me she is hitting them very badly they told me that in writing by text messages and verbally when I saw them. When she accused me for domestic violence I was released without charge and she changed her statement on the next day and she told the police it was not my fault, however, she told the social workers I hit her but she forgave me to keep the family united. Now we are separated and she is moving forward to get divorce after 18 years of marriage. She is hitting my young children almost every day but I dont have proof except the text messages from my children can I get the right for custody based on this circumstances?? Thank you

Our Response:
If you have text messages from your children, then those text messages may be used in evidence. If you cannot resolve these issues via talking it through with your ex directly regarding what you think is in the best interests of your children, I can only suggest you seek legal advice. Mediation and possibly court would be your next options. If the matter goes to court, Cafcass would get involved, please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 7-Nov-17 @ 10:59 AM
My wife accused me for domestic violence, the she changed her statement at the police station, she told then firs i hit her then she said she hit herself accidentally, after that, the social workers became involved. However, i was released from the police station without charge. 2 months later she applied for disabilities based on fraud claims and she was awarded the standard rate of £300 a month for daily living and mobility allowance, she told me if you dont apply for carer you will be out and never see your children again. So i had to apply for it and i became her carer. This situation continue for over than 18 months. Until i decided to write to the job centre about her fraud claims. However, she continued receiving £300 a months until now because she claimed she is very depressed because of our relation and she was receiving anti depressant from her Gp and through it in the toilet, she told me this £300 is a big gift, and will cover lots of things that she likes , in addition to blue badge for free parking in any place and free bus tickets and free school meals for five children. My question; i have separated from her since three months. She gave me permission to see my children at any time and to take them out, 2 of my children age 11 and 13 told me she is hitting them very badly they told me that in writing by text messages and verbally when i saw them. When she accused me for domestic violence i was released without charge and she changed her statement on the next day and she told the police it was not my fault, however, she told the social workers i hit her but she forgave me to keep the family united . Now we are separated and she is moving forward to get divorce after 18 years of marriage. She is hitting my young children almost every day but i dont have proof except the text messages from my children can i get the right for custody based on this circumstances?? Thank you
Mark - 6-Nov-17 @ 7:16 PM
Angie- Your Question:
My partners is a Bi-polar, and has had 2 episodes since December 2016. He was discharged from hospital 31 Dec 2016, but since that time his ex is refusing to permit him access to his 2 children. She was aware of the BP when they married and indeed when they had children together. She was permitting access twice weekly until the December episode (she insisted she was present for this contact), but since December 2016 she has not allowed visits, she has permitted phone calls and Skype contact. The 2nd BP episode was in May 2017 and she is now refusing any contact either face to face, phone, Skype, text etc. She says she will not permit any contact with children until she knows exactly what happened in May 2017 around the BP hospital admission (voluntary). We have started mediation/Court process but she is now threatening to tell the Courts the reason she left Mike was he was aggressive to the children. they divorced 6 years ago, if this was the case why had she allowed access up until Dec 2016??? She is saying children don't want to talk to their dad, will Courts take her word on this? CAN SHE DO THIS !!!

Our Response:
She can attempt to do this. However, as there are two sides to every story and the courts have to unpick what they deem to be truth against non-truths. This is where Cafcass comes in, please see link: What Goes into the Cafcass Family Report? here which will explain more. However, the courts do come across parents who tell lies, so are accustomed to dealing with matters such as this. If his ex has any proof he was aggressive to the children, then this will help her case. If your partner has texts or evidence of her threats, this will help his. If she does not have evidence, then lying in front of a judge and court is very different than dishing out idle threats to your partner if he attempts to take the matter to court. The fact your partner made a voluntary hospital admission shows he is sensible and rational regarding any extremes in his personality disorder.
SeparatedDads - 31-Aug-17 @ 11:42 AM
My partners is a Bi-polar, and has had 2 episodes since December 2016.He was discharged from hospital 31 Dec 2016, but since that time his ex is refusing to permit him access to his 2 children.She was aware of the BP when they married and indeed when they had children together... She was permitting access twice weekly until the December episode (she insisted she was present for this contact), but since December 2016 she has not allowed visits, she has permitted phone calls and Skype contact.The 2nd BP episode was in May 2017 and she is now refusing any contact either face to face, phone, Skype, text etc. She says she will not permit any contact with children until she knows exactly what happened in May 2017 around the BP hospital admission (voluntary). We have started mediation/Court process but she is now threatening to tell the Courts the reason she left Mike was he was aggressive to the children... they divorced 6 years ago, if this was the case why had she allowed access up until Dec 2016??? She is saying children don't want to talk to their dad, will Courts take her word on this? CAN SHE DO THIS !!!
Angie - 29-Aug-17 @ 2:38 PM
I recently moved out of my family home so me and my partner could have a break from eachother, it's a joint tenancy so we have equal rights! She contacted the council and community law and she got told the same thing as I did and that, she can't stop me going back! So now my ex as contacted the police and informed them I've hit her because she can't stop me from going back?? Help me please
Helpme - 12-Aug-17 @ 2:38 PM
Trump Brings Prestige to the Mail Order Bride Industry. For years, International Marriage Services had to live with the stigma of being referred to as Mail Order Bride services. However, many consider the term "mail-order bride" derogatory and feel it demeans foreign women by comparing them to commodities for sale and falsely implying that (unlike local women), they exercise no judgment over the men they meet and would marry anyone from a relatively wealthy country. Even with the foreign women being labeled as mail order brides these companies have grown in popularity for the past two decades, largely due to the internet. The industry grew at such a fast pace it caught the attention of the US senator Maria Cantwell of Washington State,who in 2006 shepusheda bill through congress known as IMBRA or International Marriage Brokers Regulation Act. Although the intent of Senator Cantwell was clearly meant to put Foreign Bride Companies out of business by severely restricting how men communicate with foreign women.In the end, the companies flourished under the new regulations as these business quickly modified their business models. Kenneth Agee, marketing Director for A Foreign Affair one of the largest so called Mail Order Bride Companies says, "We have always had to overcome this label. Since Trump announced his candidacy for president of the United States, the industry saw a significant increase in upscale business men looking for foreign brides. Once he became president, Trump made it the new status symbol of success to be married to an eastern European women. With First Lady Melanie Trump in the White House, opinions about foreign women have dramatically changed. Once men were scorned upon to be married to a women from Russian or the Ukraine, now is seen as prestigious. And we are seeing huge increase of men seeking foreign brides, our client base is up by more than 200% since Trump has taken office. This month alone we will be taking over 100 American men to the Ukraine, mostly very successful executives." Beside online matchmaking, the company arranges group tours for men that will travel to countries throughout the world. During these tours the men will meet hundreds of pre-screened women during what A Foreign Affair calls "Social Events" or what Kenneth calls speed dating on steroids. Critics say these women are just used as arm trophies for business men in America.That men take advantage of the women's circumstances, both economical and geographical.Kenneth argues, "I would hardly say Melanie Trump has been taken advantage of or refer her to as a Mail Order Bride.Women choose just like the men choose, we are all adults and are responsible for our own choices. It is just that men in America have a good reputation for the way we treat women and how we take care of our families. This opens the door to the men to meet some of the most beautiful women in the world." Trump is not the only high profile person to marry
1stWorldNews - 11-Aug-17 @ 3:26 AM
kaner - Your Question:
My partner's ex said she has gone to a solicitor today and said I was lyen for him so the solicitor has said I'm never to see there kids ever I have never met his kids we are togather over 2 yes can she really do this ???

Our Response:
Your partner's ex can forbid you from seeing his children. However, you can challenge this through the courts if you disagree and the courts will decide what it thinks is in the best interests of the children.
SeparatedDads - 20-Jun-17 @ 2:04 PM
My partner's ex said she has gone to a solicitor today and said I was lyen for him so the solicitor has said I'm never to see there kids ever I have never met his kids we are togather over 2 yes can she really do this ???
kaner - 19-Jun-17 @ 6:55 PM
After almost 7 years of marriage I decided to end my relationship and moved separately from my wife that is the European national. I had EEA residence card at the time and still valid when divorce got done around 1 year after separation. After that I stayed around 1 extra year and decided to leave UK by my own decision, still with valid visa during all my stay which was lawfully and true. And I DID NOT try to apply for "retained rights of residence" and I just left the country spontaneously. Because the end of my relationship was not friendly my ex wife keeps on threatening that she accused me to the Home Office of fraudulent visa application and to have married her to get visa. My question is about how much she can prejudice me with these false allegations??? Because soon I will get married with another European national and we are planning to go to the UK. Is it possible for the Home Office or UK border control refuse me entry visa to the UK even after married to another European national because of those false allegations? If so, what should I do to defend myself? I don't want to have problems to return to UK with my new wife.
Eduardo - 7-Jun-17 @ 5:24 AM
Hi just wundering if anyone has any advice my xs 13 year old daughter is making false aliigation about touching her inapropriatly to family and friends and i have two children with my x and im scared of asking to see them because im not sure how far shes prepared to go what shall i do????
Tom - 27-May-17 @ 6:37 AM
jimmy - Your Question:
My sons ex is constantly up and down making big arguements out of nothing,an example being he was concerned about his sons diet because of the stools he was leaving in the potty where constantly hard and he had trouble passing them,so my son asked her when he returned his son,he asked in a polite manner and was told he will only eat pizza,cheese sandwich or toast and shut the door,later that evening she is ranting down the phone and texting basically how dare you question my parenting,and goes on to say "you are making me wonder if you should have contact with our son as you and your parents think I am a bad mother and trying to interfere "and on and on another occassion we noticed he smelt of smoke and we had the same outcome,the period of denying access are getting longer and also she will not tell the child maintance that we have him for more than the one day,it's normally 2 on school time plus a half day after pre school,holidays can be 3 to 5 days.Ihave looked up her behaviour patterns and it points towards Narciccisiam,this is only a snip of her she constantly lies ,saying schools and other assosiations are advising her to withdraw contact out of the blue,so my son contacts these people and is told no defiinatly we did not say this and would not say this,then the abuse starts from her again ,it as now resulted in her being to embarresed to take him to school as she did'nt expect to be caught out,access denied for this at the present time until she decides what is going to happen,please advise us of what can be done and is there anyway she can be assested mentally as the effects can be seen on our grandson.

Our Response:
It is very easy and can be dangerous to label someone with a particular personality disorder if you are not a qualified psychologist. The internet allows us to think we can diagnose others - but it can be grossly inaccurate. Unless that person seeks help themselves, or feels they have a mental-health problem there is little you can do to force this issue. Also, just because that person shows similar traits to certain disorders, it doesn't mean they actually have that disorder. Your only recourse in a situation such as this is for your son to suggest mediation to try and resolve the issues of access, or if she refuses he would have the option to take the matter to court. Once a court order is in place, both parents will have to stick to it. It is not unusual for one or either parent to become irrational after a separation, especially if both parents don't see eye-to-eye. It is not about trying to continually create a one-upmanship against the other parent, parents really need to try to get on and work together for the sake of their kids. Please also see link herewhich may help further. I'm not trying to undermine your son's concern regarding his ex's parenting - but when two people rub each other up the wrong way, it can often result in irrational responses in many different ways and as a result be extremely counter-productive and spiral out of control.
SeparatedDads - 16-May-17 @ 11:17 AM
my sons ex is constantly up and down making big arguements out of nothing,an example being he was concerned about his sons diet because of the stools he was leaving in the potty where constantly hard and he had trouble passing them,so my son asked her when he returned his son,he asked in a polite manner and was told he will only eat pizza,cheese sandwich or toast and shut the door,later that evening she is ranting down the phone and texting basically how dare you question my parenting,and goes on to say "you are making me wonder if you should have contact with our son as you and your parents think i am a bad mother and trying to interfere "and on and on another occassion we noticed he smelt of smoke and we had the same outcome,the period of denying access are getting longer and also she will not tellthe child maintance that we have him for more than the one day,it's normally 2 on school time plus a half day after pre school,holidays can be 3 to 5 days.Ihave looked up her behaviour patterns and it points towards Narciccisiam,this is only a snip of her she constantly lies ,saying schools and other assosiations are advising her to withdraw contact out of the blue,so my son contacts these people and is told no defiinatly we did not say this and would not say this,then the abuse starts from her again ,it as now resulted in her being to embarresed to take him to school as she did'nt expect to be caught out,access denied for this at the present time until she decides what is going to happen,please advise us of what can be done and is there anyway she can be assested mentally as the effects can be seen on our grandson.
jimmy - 15-May-17 @ 1:14 PM
My son and his wife have separated now for 10 months, and she has done nothing but accuse him of abuse and now saying he raped her. He has been arrested and been trying to do everything right for her, she went off with someone else and through him out of the home, he has a number of children and she is doing everything to make his life hell. She has said she will ruin him and brake him. She is now doing it. Please help Worried mum
Worried mum - 6-Apr-17 @ 7:44 AM
My sons ex girlfriend accused my son of asalt he went to court and found not guilty she still has a molestation order in place and makes any excuse to get him arrested falsely accessing him of contacting her when he hasn't every time the police just keep arresting him it all so one sided and unfair
Nellsta - 22-Mar-17 @ 11:01 AM
@H - thanks for this positive advice - this has come just when I need it and when can't currently see a way through this hell that is not allowing me to see my kids. Jake.
JK - 14-Mar-17 @ 2:37 PM
re the comment about being fausly accused of DV i went through the same i had a non molestation order against me, i fought it in court and the judge dimmised it. i know exactly how you feel as a father you are 2 steps behind the mother from the start., i now have full custody of my son and he sees his mum 16 hours a week. you can prove the truth it takes time and a lot of frustration but it can be done. the first thing i advise is to go to court to get a contact order, the rest will follow and good luck to all fathers in the same boat. Always remember Judges are honest and see thru lies, they will never stop a dad from seeing his child unless there is a very serious reason.
H - 14-Mar-17 @ 9:21 AM
My step daughter has went to social services saying that i man handle her and am abusive to her my partners ex was violent i am bot what do i do
Pady - 1-Mar-17 @ 4:57 PM
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