Home > Lies in Separation > Being Falsely Accused of Rape

Being Falsely Accused of Rape

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 19 Apr 2017 |
 
Rape False Accused Offence Victim Crime

It is well known that a rape allegation is very easy to make but very difficult to disprove. Despite this, the conviction rate for rape allegations is shockingly low, at around 5% of all complaints made to the police. Often, the only witness is the person who makes the allegation. There is no need to show medical evidence to support the assertion that the complainant has been raped. In a lot of cases, DNA evidence may show that the accused and the victim had intercourse, but the question is that of consent. Because of the nature of rape allegations, it is very often one person’s word against another’s.

Why Does it Happen?

Unfortunately, allegations of rape can be made flippantly and without any consideration for the consequences. The alleged ‘victim’ could be angry, could have been coached into believing that they were raped, for example, by a counsellor or other professional, or they could simply be trying to shed blame onto someone.

How False Allegations Often Start

If a ‘disclosure’ is then made to a third party, that is when the lie begins to gather pace of its own. As people ask more questions, the ‘victim’ can find themselves being given a lot of attention. By the time the proper interview is given to the police, the ‘victim’ may have told their lie so many times that many details about the offence start to surface. This is different from a real allegation of sexual assault, in which the victim’s account generally remains intact throughout the investigation and any subsequent court proceedings. A false allegation changes subtly but rapidly. As a result it is up to the accused to be able to expose the lie, or risk being convicted and facing a prison sentence.

What Can You Do?

There are two things that you can do to help to get yourself out of this situation: first, be consistent in the way you present your version of events; and second, ask yourself what was going on at the time in the ‘victim’s’ life. Although this might sound strange, and you might think that the last thing you want to do is empathise with the person who has falsely accused you, there is an extremely good reason for doing this. If you can identify what was happening at the time, you are in a better position to find out the reason for the false allegation.

Questions to Ask Yourself

  • Were they angry with you, or someone else?
  • Were they going through a particularly stressful time?
  • What reason did they have for wanting you out of the way?
  • Were you absent from their life at the time they made the allegation? If this is the case, could it be that they are blaming you or punishing you – when the reality is that it was because you were emotionally or physically absent from them at the time?

If you find the reason for the lie, you can expose the truth.

Read our articles on Being Falsely Accused of Domestic Violence and Being Falsely Accused of Child Abuse on this site.

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My boyfriend what I've been with for 9 months got accused of rape and there was no further action I've known him 16 years and know that he's not that person does not have that nature in him to do this plz help!!!!
Tam - 19-Apr-17 @ 5:36 PM
Hi my boyfriend ex accused him of attempted rape there was no evidence just her word against his. He was found guilty for this and now she is telling everyone it didn't happen she just wanted him in jail is there anything I can do?
Smith - 26-Mar-17 @ 7:14 PM
Daddy on hold- Your Question:
I have been accused of rape by my ex partner I told her I was going to take her court to see my child she works as a care lady For old people. I brought my child up for four and half years she worked I found out she was cheating on me with a work mate of hers so I left then she kept messing me around with my child so I texted her to say il be taking you court the text was on the 30th of march last year then she replied with who's got a criminal back ground and mental back ground and sead watch what happens to you then on the 1st of April 2016 she reports me of rape twice and sexual assault she says I did this in April 2015 but in July 2015 she ask me to marry her I have screen shots of all this witch I have give to the police since then she has text me rang me witch I have recorded asking to take the family dog on also sead if your cars still broken il take you court I don't under stand why the police still have me on bail. this has made my life a mess I feel so weak all the time it's all I think about all I want is to be a part of my child's life she has also got pictures of marks from work but claims I have hit her and beat her we was fine till she started cheating but I did get depressed bad as I was told in 2015 that the man I fort was my dad wasn't witch put me in a dark place so I did not want to be sexual as I was depressed bad but all of what she claims are lies I do see my child now in a contact senter for two hours every fort night just seems to me that it is to easy to say rape then it puts every think on hold for me and my child but then she says she wants me to have my child agen every ova week end after a cokecain drug test witch I have all ready done free drug tests just seems like she's playing games also forgot to say it got really nasty the day she found out I had moved on with some one els it wasnt that bad but then she kept saying I'm taking are child out today so you can have her next week end but then the next week end come and she would not let me see my child I just want to be able to move on from this mess that's she put me in I don't want to talk to that women agen in my life just want to see my child and my family don't see my child she's a horrible women

Our Response:
I can only suggest you continue to see your child and prove yourself to the authorities and most of all keep away from your ex. If you stick to the court order, then hopefully you can move on to unsupervised visits and continue to build the relationship with your child from there. You need to keep all evidence of her texts that try to undermine you and use your child as a weapon (in case you need these for further evidence in court). If your ex breaches the court order please see link here . It won't always be as bleak as this, as long as you continue to prove that you are doing the right thing.
SeparatedDads - 22-Mar-17 @ 2:48 PM
I have been accused of rape by my ex partner I told her I was going to take her court to see my child she works as a care lady For old people. I brought my child up for four and half years she worked I found out she was cheating on me with a work mate of hers so I left then she kept messing me around with my child so I texted her to say il be taking you court the text was on the 30th of march last year then she replied with who's got a criminal back ground and mental back ground and sead watch what happens to you then on the 1st of April 2016 she reports me of rape twice and sexual assault she says I did this in April 2015 but in July 2015 she ask me to marry her I have screen shots of all this witch I have giveto the police since then she has text me rang me witch I have recorded asking to take the family dog on also sead if your cars still broken il take you court I don't under stand why the police still have me on bail. this has made my life a mess I feel so weak all the time it's all I think about all I want is to be a part of my child's life she has also got pictures of marks from work but claims I have hit her and beat her we was fine till she started cheating but I did get depressed bad as I was told in 2015 that the man I fort was my dad wasn't witch put me in a dark place so I did not want to be sexual as I was depressed bad but all of what she claims are lies I do see my child now in a contact senter fortwo hours every fort night just seems to me that it is to easy to say rape then it puts every think on hold for me and my child but then she says she wants me to have my child agen every ova week end after a cokecain drug test witch I have all ready done free drug tests just seems like she's playing games also forgot to say it got really nasty the day she found out I had moved on with some one els itwasnt that bad but then shekept saying I'm taking are child out today so you can have her next week end but then the next week end come and she would not let me see my child I just want to be able to move on from this mess that's she put me in I don't want to talk to that women agen in my life just want to see my child and my family don't see my child she's a horrible women
Daddy on hold - 22-Mar-17 @ 1:40 PM
My estranged wife has accused me of rape. This is the second false allegation of rape she has made against me. She has also made allegations against her eldest daughter and two of my daughters classmates (at her old primary school) She has been sectioned on several occasions, the last of which was Sept/Oct 2016 after attempting suicide, and has a conviction for harassment against me. My life is currently in tatters, because she has described, in great detail, the fake allegation, with our 14 year old daughter. She is currently staying with her mother, claiming she hates me for what i have done, and although social services are involved, the fact that my daughter wants to be with her mum, is being prioritised. My wife has an extensive history of mental illness, domestic abuse and violence.As I've said, her only conviction is for harassment, mainly due to her "illness" and the reluctance of the authorities to prosecute. She has been diagnosed with bipolar and several behavioural disorders, and there is very little stability in her behaviours. She has consistently lied about me to friends and family, and now seems to be succeeding in turning my daughter again to me. She has made a statement to the family court in order to get an injunction.This statement has several inconsistencies, which I feel can help with my defence . My daughter has lived with me since our separation 5 years ago, that is until this recent false claim. Sorry if this is a bit long winded. I'm struggling to keep myself together, and genuinely fear for my daughters wellbeing, and feel my concerns are not being acted upon. I've was interviewed under caution on Feb 16th but have heard nothing else. No charges have been brought, but I've hardly slept since. My health is bound to suffer the longer this is allowed to continue.
Kong - 17-Mar-17 @ 11:21 AM
My partner was convicted of sexual assault on a minor, where the allegation was that he inserted a digit into an 11 year old girl which was a family member.During the trial it was proofed that not only had she lied but there was also a medical report confirming that it never happened , but the jury still delivered a guilty verdict , where on sentencing he received 2 years imprisonment and put on the sex offenders register for 10 years. This was like giving him a death sentence as we have young kids who are going to be denied their Dad. What can we do?
angi - 10-Mar-17 @ 7:10 PM
Our family has just gone though the most horrendous year and 2 month , our son was falsely accused of rape by his x - girlfriend after she found out he was with another girl , she hacked his Facebook , and sent some disgust thing about him , he was arrested and put in the cells for 8 hours , we waited for over a year to go to court , this February he was found Not Guilty on all charges , we as a family are appalled by the evidence that we collected about this girl , she had sent him over 221 private messages and filthy photos of herself naked she was clearly on the edge , but CPS still pursued these accusations , on cross examination she lied and couldn't remember her story , her father who attended the court every day was a broken man after the trial he had to listen to these lies from his daughter and he realised half way though the case that she was liar ,her aim was 2 fold , revenge, compensation , lucky for us Facebook doesn't delete your private messages so we proved without a doubt that this person washappy and contented throughout their 2 year relationship , so what now for us all , we are a strong supported family with lots of love , my son is doing quiet well his now fiance have a wonderful baby girl and he has just had a promotion in work , I lost my hair from the stress of all this and had to have 2 months off work to cope , but I'm in a good place now trying to forget all that as happened , yes !!,this person has neally put us though hell , their no winners here only pain and heartache , we havebeen told she has applying for her compensation which willbe up to £20,0000, so what advise can I give you men , don't delete any messages , don't think for one minute that these women won't try to get revenge on you because they will our false accuser was working for the NHS working with extremely mental health patients so on the outside she was a hard worker , respectable , and loving on the inside she was overpowering , controlling , aggressive and violent towards my son so beware not all women are nice any signs of these thing GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP NOW
Mummymel - 24-Feb-17 @ 9:48 AM
One of my family members is being falsely accused of rape after a one night stand. He was released after questioning 4 days ago and we have heard nothing! Does it take a long time to even get an update? Is no news good news? Please someone help!
Smith - 9-Feb-17 @ 3:38 PM
My mum was with my partner before me, they had two dates and things didnt work out! 2 years later we got together and had our son, at first things where good untill my mum and my partner rowed over something stupid. now shes reporting him to the poluce for indecent assulting her whilst she lived with us. This is because she cannot just come and stay at mine as she did before and seeing her grandson is not as easy as when they where talking. she says shes reporting him when she doesnt get her way! why should i feel blackmailed into my mum seeing my son just so she wont cause our little family agro with the police?! please help :-[
ra - 8-Jan-17 @ 9:19 PM
I'm currently stood down from work, my wife whom I separated from since November 2015 rang and put a complaint into my work saying I confessed to her four years ago I was having anal sex with two of my clients.My bosses know its not true but they must follow procedure. I had an interview with the police and was asked all kinds of questions. I even spoke about the threesome my wife and I had (with my work mate to whom she was having an affair with for three years before we had a threesome she is now accusing him of rape) I experimented. But since we separated I got the kids and the house and she's accused me of beating her for ten years she's accused my oldest son of sexually interfering with our daughter also she told police that my workmate and I were negotiating her of to each other and she was never into our threesomes even tho she was right into it at the time. So now I'm being investigated for sexual abuse at work , I dont know what to do, also I'm a kiwi living in Australia and my wife knows if I lose my job I lose everything I can't even get a benefit
Mxxxxx - 27-Sep-16 @ 9:39 AM
I'm currently stood down from work, my wife whom I separated from since November 2015 rang and put a complaint into my work saying I confessed to her four years ago I was having anal sex with two of my clients.My bosses know its not true but they must follow procedure. I had an interview with the police and was asked all kinds of questions. I even spoke about the threesome my wife and I had (with my work mate to whom she was having an affair with for three years before we had a threesome she is now accusing him of rape) I experimented. But since we separated I got the kids and the house and she's accused me of beating her for ten years she's accused my oldest son of sexually interfering with our daughter also she told police that my workmate and I were negotiating her of to each other and she was never into our threesomes even tho she was right into it at the time. So now I'm being investigated for sexual abuse at work , I dont know what to do, also I'm a kiwi living in Australia and my wife knows if I lose my job I lose everything I can't even get a benefit
Mxxxxx - 27-Sep-16 @ 9:20 AM
I'm being accused of rape by my ex due to her being jealous of my friendship with another ex partner. The girl who accused me has had my name tattoo on her body a few weeks ago yet unbeknown to me her allocation was made 3 months ago. Since that allocation was made we've been seen together at hotels and in taxis etc. Why are the police not looking into her side. Especially Blackpool police detective Herbert. I have our flat matemy ex confided in saying that our sex was consentialjohnhave text sent to Blackpool gazette showing from the girls phone nothing but nice things until last week when her texts git nasty saying I deserve to die and sudfer and that I've chosen my ex over the girlfreind I was meant to haveraped. How can the police expect me to go on remand and possibly 10 years in prison for something I did not do. I'm scared. I feel like buying a gun and shooting the lying evil girl who accused me and then myself. Then there's days I want to end my life by injecting myself with morphine. She has taken away my life...john
Innocent - 17-Sep-16 @ 9:04 AM
My husband has been accused of oral rape in a pub and attempted anal rape in the park by a woman who he met in a pub she's a friendof his best friend. He says she only said he forced herbecause she's terrified her partner would find out she's been sleeping with men behind his back. That was her main worry all afternoon as they were drinking together incase me or her partner found out.The police were gonna charge them both with public indecency for having oral sex andsex in the park. It was light nights n early on. So she said it was rape. His solicitor says there's wholes all over her story. She's known as the townbike apparently n my husband admits the blow job and sex but swears it was consentual and if he went near her anus it was only accidentally he had her bent over.she's denying ever meeting us before but I can prove she's lying as there is witnesses who were at the pub when we met her the first time. She's saying she was forced into given him a blow job but a witness says they got told to leave the pub so they left the pub together arm in arm and happy. She denied going to buy more drink in the shop with him but cctv shows them both holding hands walking round happy. When they got caught having sex in the park he walked away she went another direction then followed him and started again at this point the witness called the police n so we're back to the beginning. My problem is I don't understand why he's on remand and yet there's all these inconsistencies
Trolly-dolly - 24-Aug-16 @ 12:15 PM
my boyfriend was accused falsely of rape by his best friend (that he raped the guys sister) he got arrested last month and I'm scared of conviction.
Crys - 7-Aug-16 @ 6:27 AM
I have been in prison for 24 years because someone wanted to adopt my kids after wife and I split up. They coerced my kids who were 5, 3, and 2. They have recanted saying they were made to say what they did. They are now28, 30, and 31. I am applying for clemency.I got 3 life sentences and was charged with aggravated rape.I am innocent. Even the projector knew it. What can I do. I want my story out there. This can happen to anyone. Even YOU!!!
Dwight - 28-Jul-16 @ 1:03 AM
Hi i am male and 15 years ago i had a relationship with a girl, it was a rocky relationshipvery up and down. she was cheating on me a lot after a year she got pregnant and the relationship went from bad to extremely badit almost sent me into a mental home, towards the end before my daughter was born i couldn't take the abuse any longer and left , i decided to go the legal way, it did not work out, i turned to drugs 6 and half years went by i started to clean my self up it took 2 and half years by this time my daughter was 9 ish or almost nine. i wanted to see my daughter so much it crushed me all this time not seeing her, there was a few times i wanted to die. by this time i pulled my self together, keep in mind my ex is extremely poisonous and a compulsive liar i tried to contact my ex and arrange some contact and to cut along story short she was lying a lot to me about a lot of different things and it seemed as though she was after something. i contacted her ex and he told me a lot about there relationship and what she had done to him. he told me she is a good mother though and my daughter is happy and if i took her to court she would try and poison the case against me. I took a step back had a long and hard think i decided to wait till my daughter was old enough to make her own mind up to meet me this way she wouldn't be poisoned against me and her mum wouldn't be to try and lie in court and get away with it she is a good liar. it was extremely hard discussion for me but i thought it was in my daughters best interest at the time, she was happy, fives years went by social worker came to my house and told me my daughter had been abused physically mentally and sexually :(, i could not believe what i was hearing. so i was lied to right from the start because this was happening from an early age apart from the sexual abuse which happened at a later age. we have been through courts i am waiting for my daughter to go through a few tests a checks to see if she is able to be introduced to me, she is very emotional angry and upset and they don't want to make that any worse. i want my daughter to meet me and have a relationship now her mother cant get to her, although she dose see my daughter it is supervised so i know she can not poisoner against me with some one hearing it. here is were it takes a step up. my ex knows i am a good person and she knows my daughter has a great family and she is afraid of this knowing what she has done and what she is like. 3 weeks ago i found out of the social worker that my ex had made an allegation against me, i ask what it was he couldn't tell me. so i rang the police they couldn't tell me because they wasn't sure who i was so i spoke to my solicitor and i was advised to wait , i found out today that she has accused me of rape, the police officer said its historic and apparently happened when we was dating, well i burst into teas i couldn't believe what i was hearing, all I've ever wanted to do is see my d
RazMan83 - 4-Jul-16 @ 7:25 PM
When i was away on job training a rumour got spread about my daughter that she had been raped she told me about it and i was not happy when i arrived home my daughter who is 12 told me to go into school to sort it then next morning she was laughing and dancing with me before school a few hours later i have police and social worker saying i cannot see my kids and made me sign something other an allegation i had to go to the police station couple days later where they told me my daughter said i raped her when she was around 5-8 i could not speak i was shocked took me a while to get my words out they asked me a few questions then let me go on bail. i have since been drinking so close to hanging myself and cut my wrist all because i cannot see my children they offered her the chance to have an examination and she refused it a week later she wants to speak to police again to say something else my life as been turned upside down i may of lost my job even before its started and i have not seen my kids for a month and missed my sons 3rd birthday i can have supervised contact but it will break me even more my daughter is acting the same before the allegation and after the allegation mum told me she just bothered about doing videos on her ipod and talking about boyfriends she dont care what she doing to me and rest of the kids and my partner my family is supporting me best they can they say if no evidence i will be fine how can i prove that i am innocent she refused the examintion that would of proved she has not had sex i didnt want her to go through that at her age not nice but now i wish they made her do the examintion i keep thinking the police cps are going to believe what she is saying i have not got alot fight left in me anymore
dc20016 - 6-Jun-16 @ 11:46 PM
ddvvtt - Your Question:
My ex-partner had me arrested on allegations of assault drugging and raping for 7 and a half years all my charges with dropped. She has contradicted his statements to the police and to the social services. I know also contradicted has statement to cafcass. Will the tree parties cross reference hair statements before Court. The accusations were impossible and was dropped immediately by the police. I have had to be assessed by social services and didn't my statements my ex-partner makes me out to be a manipulator and in eyes everything I say.Advise anybody please David

Our Response:
I'm afraid there is little advice I can give, except you can only be honest, which is always the best policy. If you are innocent of the charges and the charges have been dropped, then there shouldn't be an issue as any statements you give will be consistent.
SeparatedDads - 25-May-16 @ 10:11 AM
Peeni - Your Question:
Some girl accused my boyfriend for raping her and he don't even know her and the police asking him questions. like he telling the truth and they don't too much believe him so what will happen

Our Response:
I'm afraid we can't predict what will happen as all will depend on whether the police and CPS can gather enough evidence to prosecute your boyfriend.
SeparatedDads - 24-May-16 @ 2:59 PM
Some girl accused my boyfriend for raping her and he don't even know her and the police asking him questions . like he telling the truth and they don't too much believe him so what will happen
Peeni - 24-May-16 @ 8:38 AM
My ex-partner had me arrested on allegations of assault drugging and raping for 7 and a half years all my charges with dropped. She has contradicted his statements to the police and to the social services. I know also contradicted has statement to cafcass. Will the tree parties cross reference hair statements before Court. The accusations were impossible and was dropped immediately by the police. I have had to be assessed by social services and didn't my statements my ex-partner makes me out to be a manipulator and in eyes everything I say. Advise anybody please David
ddvvtt - 24-May-16 @ 2:59 AM
I accused in pocso case of my child, I am step father of victim girl I was fighted with my wife and said don't want to live with me and after 2days she case on me that i did raped to the child, but in real I never thought about this I can't this big crime ever. and now advocate saying no body can save you from going 14years jail there is no need injury also to put case on innocent these are the kannon I can't do anything
Irfan - 20-Apr-16 @ 1:55 AM
Fight-or-flight - Your Question:
I was recently in a relationship of 10+ years and we had two wonderful children together for the first 7 years my partner was very ill and I ended up becoming her carer after finally getting my partner all the help she needed I myself fell ill with depression and felt suicidal our relationship was always quite volatile we'd argue over silly things and it would eventually get violent often my partner pushing and pulling me to the point where I'd retaliate by pushing her off. I look back and remember a lot of good times but she only ever remembered the bad and blames me for everything even contributing to her illness. Recently I found her out in several lies and questioned her about them which led to her breaking up with me I took an overdose and she packed her things I fought for the relationship to work for the kids but eventually another argument broke out and she called the police I was arrested on a harrasment charge which was bogus as she made a lot of stuff up then after being in cells for 21 hrs the police took me to the front desk and said there has been further accusations 2 counts of rape and I count of attempted rape along with assault blackmail and serveral others the police bailed me after an interview where I told the whole truth of the rape accusations being false and now im not allowed back into my home town or any contact with my kids for 6 months pending further investigation i've looked everywere for help but getting nowhere I feel like ending it all please help me.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, there is little you can do here until the investigations have completed. Unless the police and your ex can provide evidence to back her allegations up, then I'm sure the charges will be dropped. In the meantime, I can only suggest you seek some legal advice to see what options you have and also seek some support to get you through these dark times. FASO is a voluntary organisation that offers clear information, practical advice, and emotional support to anyone affected by false allegation of abuse and you can access help via the link here. If you are feeling suicidal please look to help from organisations such as the Samaritans who can help point you in the right direction to seek further help. I know it is difficult not to see your children, but please keep your mind on the situation of six months down the line, when hopefully the charges will be dropped and you will once again be able to see your kids.
SeparatedDads - 8-Apr-16 @ 11:21 AM
I was recently in a relationship of 10+ years and we had two wonderful children together for the first 7 years my partner was very ill and i ended up becoming her carer after finally getting my partner all the help she needed i myself fell ill with depression and felt suicidal our relationship was always quite volatile we'd argue over silly things and it would eventually get violent often my partner pushing and pulling me to the point where i'd retaliate by pushing her off. I look back and remember a lot of good times but she only ever remembered the bad and blames me for everything even contributing to her illness. Recently i found her out in several lies and questioned her about them which led to her breaking up with me i took an overdose and she packed her things i fought for the relationship to work for the kids but eventually another argument broke out and she called the police i was arrested on a harrasment charge which was bogus as she made a lot of stuff up then after being in cells for 21 hrs the police took me to the front desk and said there has been further accusations 2 counts of rape and i count of attempted rape along with assault blackmail and serveral others the police bailed me after an interview where i told the whole truth of the rape accusations being false and now im not allowed back into my home town or any contact with my kids for 6 months pending further investigation i've looked everywere for help but getting nowhere i feel like ending it all please help me.
Fight-or-flight - 7-Apr-16 @ 1:03 PM
sammy - Your Question:
Back in 1981 I was convicted of attempted rape,by way if a forced confession ,the only evidence they had against me.Unfortunately I was young and naive.No Dna evidence,my brother as a witness ended up suicidal as a result of the court not believing his testimony.I am at a stage in my life where this is affecting me mentally and I feel suicidal myself.

Our Response:
The site Accused.Me may offer some support, please see link here. It also gives advice on what you should do should you be suffering from depression. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 12-Feb-16 @ 1:50 PM
Back in 1981 I was convicted of attempted rape,by way if a forced confession ,the only evidence they had against me.Unfortunately I was young and naive.No Dna evidence,my brother as a witness ended up suicidal as a result of the court not believing his testimony. I am at a stage in my life where this is affecting me mentally and I feel suicidal myself.
sammy - 11-Feb-16 @ 8:44 PM
squeeky77 - Your Question:
Me and my ex split up in September we was talking and getting on for our sons sake and our son is now 24 month old and she now trying to blackmail me if I dont give up my right to him she will go to police and tell them I have raped her but ive been to police to tell them about the blackmail but I was told by police not to tell her ive been to see them and she as made my contact to a text message a day now I cant have photos unless I go over to see our son but I cant do that as the police have got social services involved with this I don't know if that is a good or bad thing my ex is mentally depressed and she cut everyone that loves and cares for her I don't want our son to go into care would he be able to live with me can anyone tell me I don't want to loose our son to care

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. However, if your ex has threatened this then you have done the right thing by protecting yourself from false accusations. Just because your ex is being investigated, it does not mean your son will be removed from her. Therefore, I would take some legal advice to see whether you can apply through the courts for access to your son.
SeparatedDads - 18-Jan-16 @ 12:46 PM
me and my ex split up in September we was talking and getting on for our sons sake and our son is now 24 month old and she now trying to blackmail me if i dont give up my right to him she will go to police and tell them i have raped her but ive been to police to tell them about the blackmail but i was told by police not to tell her ive been to see them and she as made my contact to a text message a day now i cant have photos unless i go over to see our son but i cant do that as the police have got social services involved with this i don't know if that is a good or bad thing my ex is mentally depressed and she cut everyone that loves and cares for her i don't want our son to go into care would he be able to live with me can anyone tell me i don't want to loose our son to care
squeeky77 - 17-Jan-16 @ 5:44 PM
Please I need some advise here. My wife has a history of assaulting me and my son (3 years old), and after years of taking it, I just had to put a stop to it recently when I got the police involved. I grew in an abusive environment myself and I know firsthand the effects, so I just had to ensure my son did not continue to be in that sort of environment. Prior to this time, I had tried to convince her to get help for years and even helped her make an appointment with our GP about her behaviour (possible mental health issues) which she did not pursue. The case has been taken to court and her bail conditions included her not having direct contact with me which she has breached numerous times without me making a report. She has been reaching out to me to drop the charges against her and I have always told her that my condition was for her to commit to anger management counselling which she has refused to do for years. In any case, we met up recently on boxing day to shop for our son and then we agreed to meet again on the 29th. During the weekend she makes nude videos of herself and sends to me through skype and we agree to meet up to "talk", and I being the fool that I have always been, I booked a room in a hotel for this. In addition to my health issues I had not had sex since even before the police arrested her over a month ago, so I guess I was thinking with other parts of my body rather than my brains. We ended up talking and having sex and she gave me 3 options to make the case disappear; make a formal move to get the case thrown out and receive a fine; show upon the trial day and indicate my unwillingness to continue with the trial and lastly to not show up in court at all on the trial day so the case can be thrown out, while I repeated my own conditions for her to attend anger management, which has always been my desire for years because I loved my wife and I did not want my family to be broken up if possible. She was even physically violent towards me during the night because I insisted on my condition for dropping the charges (I did not report this to the police). In the morning when I went to drop her off she demands to be paid £700 towards her legal fees (which I did not even have to give) and refused to get down from the car then she walks off with the car keys and would not give them back unless I spoke to her lawyer to tell him I intend to drop the case which I did after almost an hour of pleading with her. Now she says she is going to tell the police I raped her if I do not drop the charges. Everybody warned me not to have any contact with her but I have secretly been takingher calls and talking to her to convince her to get help (and God knows why else). Even though I know she can be manipulative and controlling, it is very difficult for me to hear my wife and mother to my child being distressed and crying over the phone, it just breaks my heart. Now I have seen her for what she truly is, just like I had been warned and I real
Chinky - 31-Dec-15 @ 8:30 AM
Please I need some advise here. My wife has a history of assaulting me and my son (3 years old), and after years of taking it, I just had to put a stop to it recently when I got the police involved. I grew in an abusive environment myself and I know firsthand the effects, so I just had to ensure my son did not continue to be in that sort of environment. Prior to this time, I had tried to convince her to get help for years and even helped her make an appointment with our GP about her behaviour (possible mental health issues) which she did not pursue. The case has been taken to court and her bail conditions included her not having direct contact with me which she has breached numerous times without me making a report. She has been reaching out to me to drop the charges against her and I have always told her that my condition was for her to commit to anger management counselling which she has refused to do for years. In any case, we met up recently on boxing day to shop for our son and then we agreed to meet again on the 29th. During the weekend she makes nude videos of herself and sends to me through skype and we agree to meet up to "talk", and I being the fool that I have always been, I booked a room in a hotel for this. In addition to my health issues I had not had sex since even before the police arrested her over a month ago, so I guess I was thinking with other parts of my body rather than my brains. We ended up talking and having sex and she gave me 3 options to make the case disappear; make a formal move to get the case thrown out and receive a fine; show upon the trial day and indicate my unwillingness to continue with the trial and lastly to not show up in court at all on the trial day so the case can be thrown out, while I repeated my own conditions for her to attend anger management, which has always been my desire for years because I loved my wife and I did not want my family to be broken up if possible. She was even physically violent towards me during the night because I insisted on my condition for dropping the charges (I did not report this to the police). In the morning when I went to drop her off she demands to be paid £700 towards her legal fees (which I did not even have to give) and refused to get down from the car then she walks off with the car keys and would not give them back unless I spoke to her lawyer to tell him I intend to drop the case which I did after almost an hour of pleading with her. Now she says she is going to tell the police I raped her if I do not drop the charges. Everybody warned me not to have any contact with her but I have secretly been takingher calls and talking to her to convince her to get help (and God knows why else). Even though I know she can be manipulative and controlling, it is very difficult for me to hear my wife and mother to my child being distressed and crying over the phone, it just breaks my heart. Now I have seen her for what she truly is, just like I had been warned and I real
Chinky - 31-Dec-15 @ 1:12 AM
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