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Being Falsely Accused of Rape

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 25 Sep 2020 |
 
Rape False Accused Offence Victim Crime

It is well known that a rape allegation is very easy to make but very difficult to disprove. Despite this, the conviction rate for rape allegations is shockingly low, at around 5% of all complaints made to the police. Often, the only witness is the person who makes the allegation. There is no need to show medical evidence to support the assertion that the complainant has been raped. In a lot of cases, DNA evidence may show that the accused and the victim had intercourse, but the question is that of consent. Because of the nature of rape allegations, it is very often one person’s word against another’s.

Why Does it Happen?

Unfortunately, allegations of rape can be made flippantly and without any consideration for the consequences. The alleged ‘victim’ could be angry, could have been coached into believing that they were raped, for example, by a counsellor or other professional, or they could simply be trying to shed blame onto someone.

How False Allegations Often Start

If a ‘disclosure’ is then made to a third party, that is when the lie begins to gather pace of its own. As people ask more questions, the ‘victim’ can find themselves being given a lot of attention. By the time the proper interview is given to the police, the ‘victim’ may have told their lie so many times that many details about the offence start to surface. This is different from a real allegation of sexual assault, in which the victim’s account generally remains intact throughout the investigation and any subsequent court proceedings. A false allegation changes subtly but rapidly. As a result it is up to the accused to be able to expose the lie, or risk being convicted and facing a prison sentence.

What Can You Do?

There are two things that you can do to help to get yourself out of this situation: first, be consistent in the way you present your version of events; and second, ask yourself what was going on at the time in the ‘victim’s’ life. Although this might sound strange, and you might think that the last thing you want to do is empathise with the person who has falsely accused you, there is an extremely good reason for doing this. If you can identify what was happening at the time, you are in a better position to find out the reason for the false allegation.

Questions to Ask Yourself

  • Were they angry with you, or someone else?
  • Were they going through a particularly stressful time?
  • What reason did they have for wanting you out of the way?
  • Were you absent from their life at the time they made the allegation? If this is the case, could it be that they are blaming you or punishing you – when the reality is that it was because you were emotionally or physically absent from them at the time?

If you find the reason for the lie, you can expose the truth.

Read our articles on Being Falsely Accused of Domestic Violence and Being Falsely Accused of Child Abuse on this site.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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What interests me is so many people are ‘fasely’ accused. If they are or not the truth is always easy to find. Support them and they will get through false allegations of there is no evidence they will be fine. My ex plays the falsify card, makes everyone believe she is innoccent. The worst part about it she rang my phone prior to the rape occurring as she couldn’t find me when she pulled up at my house, she forgot tok hang up when she saw me and recorded 3 minutes - the beginning of the rape She threatened me with a skateboard, she broke my nose in two places I was screaming for her to stop and said please stop please stop 6 times.once she was done she left me laying in my own blood disorientated and took off to her male fiancé that I didn’t know about. Everyone accused me of lying or didn’t believe me and believed she was falsely accused. I have it on recording, I have the evidence including the time and the date. March 7th - worst thing is I listen to it all the time. Support both sides. Don’t judge. Intense emotions and excruciating to live with either way.
Bricole23092017 - 25-Sep-20 @ 4:34 PM
What interests me is so many people are ‘fasely’ accused. If they are or not the truth is always easy to find. Support them and they will get through false allegations of there is no evidence they will be fine. My ex plays the falsify card, makes everyone believe she is innoccent. The worst part about it she rang my phone prior to the rape occurring as she couldn’t find me when she pulled up at my house, she forgot tok hang up when she saw me and recorded 3 minutes - the beginning of the rape She threatened me with a skateboard, she broke my nose in two places I was screaming for her to stop and said please stop please stop 6 times.once she was done she left me laying in my own blood disorientated and took off to her male fiancé that I didn’t know about. Everyone accused me of lying or didn’t believe me and believed she was falsely accused. I have it on recording, I have the evidence including the time and the date. March 7th - worst thing is I listen to it all the time. Support both sides. Don’t judge. Intense emotions and excruciating to live with either way.
Bricole23092017 - 25-Sep-20 @ 4:14 PM
Please kindly do the job needfully Myself Dipkumar Pal Hopefully waiting foryour decision because there is stiil chance for me same like before or otherwise I'm been threatened by Ramsagar Mishra.. Please save my life before it destroys...??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Please I beg in front of you for my future
Karan - 18-Sep-20 @ 8:25 PM
@law-truth.(sound advice).but for me I don’t speak to her mother (Never will again )years ago I sent messages but I been to court for that had( my punishment ).i really don’t think they could accuse me of rape I haven’t seen them in 11 years .truth said here I wouldn’t sleep with that women even if it was consensual that’s( gods truth) .
Chris - 15-Jul-20 @ 9:55 PM
This is what happend to me but I still had my kid and her kid in my care then she said this but now proven false and malicious in family court that they can NOT charge her, When this child case I.e 2 years now ends,I will have the person charged with false allegations and the police will then do there bit for wasting police time and more on top, If it happens to you just tell the truth and NO Matter what if you still spk to your ex even if nice no matter how long (Secretly record or video everything and keep all text and email to cloud) YOU WILL NEED IT IN THE FUTURE, BE SAFE DADS STAY STRONG NEVER GIVE UP ?????
Law-truth - 15-Jul-20 @ 6:18 PM
My boyfriend has been accused of rape with his ex because he is about to take her to court to fight to be able to see their daughter. It’s all lies and there is zero evidence. I’m just really worried about how this can affect him and his future, surely with zero evidence the case will fall through? I wish there were penalties for women who lie about rape and men should have more rights over their children :(
Laur - 11-Jul-20 @ 2:15 AM
My ex wife left me and 2 years later she comes back saying I raped her and she has no proof ! It’s he said/she said case with no evidence!!
Pat93 - 10-Jul-20 @ 2:18 AM
A friend of mine has been in jail in Dunklin county Missouri for over 2 weeks now.He was accused of breaking and entering and also rape.He has. a 50.000! Bond..The accuser his ex girlfriend and him had been separated but would still reunite occasionally.one day after such reconciliation she called the police and falsified a police report.My friend came to me after this happened needing to talkand as he was explaining to me that his ex had contacted him informing him of his warrant his ex girlfriend actually text at thst exact moment telling him that she knows she's a terrible person for falsely accusing him.but that she would rather he be imprisoned6 than to be with another woman.please help
Jan - 10-Jul-20 @ 1:25 AM
My OH Ex is still doing this for attention too, never even went to Cops but still 10 yrs later spreading it around.My OH went to a defamation lawyer and showed him everything, Lawyer said she is clearly sour, vengeful and ridiculous and not worth even giving oxygen to her waffle and online ramblings which clearly show she has mental health issues.
Jules - 25-Apr-20 @ 12:55 AM
my boyfriends being falsely accused by his ex girlfriend and now the police are involved and they said that it's up to his ex if she's going to take if further. i don't know what we're supposed to do because it isn't true. they we're together a while ago but a month ago she started saying this. i'm a couple weeks pregnant and i'm feeling so low about this whole situation
B - 30-Dec-19 @ 2:11 PM
@chris.thats why you don’t have friends like that ,anyone who is transgender has serous issues in (my opinion )on top off been mentally ill .truth will come out the police are no fools if he didn’t do it I wouldn’t be depressed.i would have the weirdo charged for making up false statements and with hes history off been in mental hospitals he word means rubbish.they will most likely lock him back up .so tell him not be depressed.
Chris - 21-Nov-19 @ 7:00 PM
My partner has been accused of rape by a transgender friend of his, the thing is this person has severe mental health problems and has been sectioned many times throughout the year. My partner is so depressed about this as he was arrested and had DNA samples taken off him. It's a horrible accusation to put on someone. He is the most sweetest person you would come across.
Chris - 21-Nov-19 @ 12:30 PM
I’ve had 11 alligators made by my ex partner her mother never liked me and have been told by friends who have spoken to my exes brother that there mum made the police call at the time of allegations my ex partner was taking liquid Oramorph from her doctor and would watch her over weeks hallucinate of this pain killer was real hard time looking after her I left on Tuesday and arrested on Thursday for rape and another 10 allegations all very serious e since my arrest I been realised on bail been 4 months now with no charge and my daughter in foster care as I’m a single parent I have sent lots of evidence to police showing her version of events to be false but still it’s gone to cps and still on going wile my daughter is somewhere she doesn’t want to be I won custody of my girl 5 years and since that have kept my nose clean still awaiting a cps decision my life has been one big nightmare am depressed have the shakes and I stutter a lot I never committed one of these allegations but still it drags on I feel a lot of women must be making these allegations to get back at ex boyfriends it’s a horror story I am suffering I also have 2 sons 10 and 8 my oldest now cries himself to sleep often and is suffering anxiety why are we allowing this to happen if I proved half her story to be a lie why are the police taking this all the way and dragging it out so long ???Please someone help me :(
Goggsy - 15-Sep-19 @ 12:26 PM
My girlfriend has opened a case of attempted rape against me we have a month old baby reason being she is angry with me I used to live with her together with her mom and little brother, I used to support her and her family financially it even forced me to sell my car so that we can get a bigger place to rent so that i can accommodate her family, after that I bought a bicycle so that I can utilise to go to work on daily basis, because no one was working, after realising that I cant take it anymore financially I told her I'm moving out to stay alone but before that I suggested that we move out and live together so that we can raise our child together without the presence of her family she refused, when time went by things started to be sower in the home, we will sometimes ran out of food in the house because we were depending in one salary which mine, it even came to where me and her mother stopped talking to each other, it destroyed my relationship with my girlfriend big time where some other time she will take the side of her mother and her mother she was always in our business, this became detrimental to our relationship, there was a day when I was about to move I realised that my bicycle was missing in the house that particular day it was me and her and our 1 month old baby I ask her where is my bicycle she said to me that herself and mother sold it , I told her that she can't sell my bicycle without my consent and that I'm going to open a case against her for selling my bicycle that is when she said that she is going to open a case of rape. she went to the police to open attempted rape and I was arrested. This is very stressing and my career is on the line because she is lying with a serious accusation. Please help
Black T - 6-Sep-19 @ 11:25 AM
After a year of trying to get a contact order to see my children the mother (at the last minute)has now stated that I raped her 4 or 5 times. This is a total shock to me. After the contact order is granted I am pretty sure she will tell the police because that is her last resort.
Dumbfounded - 18-Aug-19 @ 9:33 PM
"My partner has been accused of rape and domestic violence all over social media by his ex wife. We don't know what to do .... His ex wife has already accused my son for "touching" her daughter but the courts didn't even take it to consideration in because she was still allowed to spend time with us. This is been going on for nearly two years. We are living in fear of the next malicious statement. What can we do ...it's draining and really scary day to day." You are experiencing what I'm currently experiencing. I'm traumatized as hell and it's like living in fear of a false accusation. Not cool.
Joe - 19-Apr-19 @ 2:26 AM
My partner has been accused of rape and domestic violence all over social media by his ex wife. We don't know what to do .... His ex wife has already accused my son for "touching" her daughter but the courts didn't even take it to consideration in because she was still allowed to spend time with us. This is been going on for nearly two years. We are living in fear of the next malicious statement. What can we do ...it's draining and really scary day to day.
Howes - 11-Mar-19 @ 6:45 AM
My fiancé is in jail awaiting trial due to the actions of ex-girlfriend. She would constantly harass the two of us, both stalking my Facebook page and using his kids she has with him to drive us apart. In her latest attempt she has accused him of raping both his daughter and her daughter from a previous relationship. These claims seem unlikely due to many factors including the fact that he lived with his grandmother (whom he was taking care of at time.) that didn't allow for children in her home, when he did have time with his children it was always with his two boysand his ex has a history of doing things like this resulting in the father of her other daughter severing all ties with both her and the child. We hoped this information would be enough but after being questioned by the police that took "whatever" as a yes. He has been in jail for over a year awaiting a trial, the one lawyer, his grandmother could afford offered little help and the public defenders given to him by the court have done nothing but tell him to pled guilty. This is a very difficult situation, and we don't know what to do, every time I see him, he looks more and more unhappy and he keeps asking about his sons (whom were left in the care of their mother who is clearly in a relationship with a neighborhood thug that had threatened to abuse them in the past) and I can't help him.
Lilly - 30-Jan-19 @ 10:27 PM
Hi all, My ex also accused me of raping her in 2009 so she can run away with all my 4 kids have new acconadation complete control kids and get all benefits. Been 6 weeks not seen them the system is joke.
Ams - 22-Nov-18 @ 10:21 AM
My ex, who I have a 3 year old daughter with has falsely accused me of raping her. She's made false allegations of domestic violence against me in the past. All of these prior allegations have never gone to court as she has either dropped the charges or the CPS have dropped the charges. My ex says I raped her 2 weeks after the birth of our daughter. I apparently drugged her and raped her in her sleep. This was meant to have happened 3 years ago but she only made the allegation now. She has since gone to the police and dropped the charges and the police have said they're not taking it any further, nfa it states in their letter. Now she has taken me to civil court to stop me from seeing my daughter, which she never allowed anyway and has applied for sole custody of our daughter and has successfully got a non molestation order against me. She gets free legal aid but I have to pay my legal costs. Everything seems so unfair. I haven't seen my daughter in 6 months and then it was only briefly. I feel very,very low.
RK - 27-Sep-18 @ 12:26 PM
Hi my husaband was accused of rape by my friends daughter, but we are never apart and he has never been alone with her. She is seventeen and her family came to see me my partner and made us aware that she had reported this to social services as she is under them, because they do not believe her and are willing to be witnesses against her. She also texted me the day she made the aligation asking if she come come down to see how we all were. Her family also disclosed that she has also had a problem with making a story true to herself even if it isn’t true and showing obsessive behaviour towards boys/men. I have always been with my husband and she has never been alone with him, she has stated that last year to her friends and family she had sec with my husband, but her family didn’t tell me because they didn’t believe her and now she is changing it to rape. I’m not sure where we go from here as every time we go to the police station to see if it has been logged, there is nothing on system and it has now been 5 days.
Leah147 - 9-Apr-18 @ 10:19 PM
Anyadvicewelcome - Your Question:
My partner was arrested 10 weeks ago when I 1 week over due our baby, the cops came into my house wouldn't tell us what was going on just cuffed him and took him away. I followed to the station where I was very distressed and still failed to tell me what was going on but they did let me sit in the waiting room for over an hour in convulsions crying. Apparently he raped a 65 yr old woman(he is 37) 11 weeks before.We do know the woman not very well but he swears he didn't do it and that he didn't even kno who made the allegations until the police showed him her picture at the end of his questioning. It has now been 10 weeks and we haven't heard another thing about it. My partners name is blackened around where we live and I'm getting abusive messages from the "victims" family.

Our Response:
The police are responsible for investigating allegations of rape and for gathering the evidence. In more serious or complex cases, the Crown Prosecution Service decides whether a person should be charged with a criminal offence, and, if so, what that offence should be. There has to be sufficient evidence for the CPS to bring charges. You can see the stages the process takes via the CPS link here, which should explain all you need to know. You should keep all evidence of any threats received and pass them over to the police.
SeparatedDads - 7-Dec-17 @ 12:40 PM
My partner was arrested 10 weeks ago when i 1 week over due our baby, the cops came into my house wouldn't tell us what was going on just cuffed him and took him away. I followed to the station where I was very distressed and still failed to tell me what was going on but they did let me sit in the waiting room for over an hour in convulsions crying. Apparently he raped a 65 yr old woman(he is 37) 11 weeks before.We do know the woman not very well but he swears he didn't do it and that he didn't even kno who made the allegations until the police showed him her picture at the end of his questioning. It has now been 10 weeks and we haven't heard another thing about it. My partners name is blackened around where we live and I'm getting abusive messages from the "victims" family.
Anyadvicewelcome - 5-Dec-17 @ 6:13 PM
My brother has had an allegation of rape produced against him from his ex-wife He was bailed with conditions of which there would be no contact with her or his two children His bail was not reinstated today.. no charge but with on going investigations...? Child services are Now saying he still cannot have contact with his kids Is this correct Have they the power to implement this Please help
Aky - 16-Nov-17 @ 6:06 PM
Tez - Your Question:
So the allegations have been made in which rape was mentioned. She has now come to her senses and contacted me and admitting in writing this was all a big mistake and that she had blown everything out of proportion. The police however do not now seem to be interested in listening to her now telling them it was false allegations and are more or less ignoring her. She has made repeated calls and text messages to the officers dealing with the case but no one returns her call or messages. She is suffering worse than I am with the amount of stress (admittedly I'm not holding up to well) any advice or help would be greatly and I mean greatly appreciated!

Our Response:
The decision to prosecute is a matter for the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS), not the police. The responsibility to investigate criminal allegations lies with the police and generally once their investigations are concluded, the CPS will make the decision if there should be a criminal prosecution.
SeparatedDads - 14-Nov-17 @ 2:16 PM
So the allegations have been made in which rape was mentioned. She has now come to her senses and contacted me and admitting in writing this was all a big mistake and that she had blown everything out of proportion. The police however do not now seem to be interested in listening to her now telling them it was false allegations and are more or less ignoring her. She has made repeated calls and text messages to the officers dealing with the case but no one returns her call or messages. She is suffering worse than I am with the amount of stress (admittedly I'm not holding up to well) any advice or help would be greatly and I mean greatly appreciated!
Tez - 13-Nov-17 @ 9:00 PM
My ex wife has been accusing me of rape .we are going to court for custody of the children at the moment and she has already gone to the police saying that I pushed her and i used her bank card without her knowing I was in custody for 22 hours before they was both dropped by the police. Now she's saying this. What can I do?
Oz - 4-Nov-17 @ 10:27 PM
@Ajames - you need to get as far as possible away from this man as you can and KEEP away!
Garvey - 31-Aug-17 @ 3:59 PM
In March I left my cheating n voilent ex it's was the hardest thing ever, I loved him so much. Then he rang me n said he was gonna get me done for rape ..he'll be known I was at a mates In the next county. I got woke up by a mate n said the police want me,I knew he'd done it! 12 hrs in jail degraded. I didn't see him for a while n then he filled me full of more lies n I kinda believed them! Since then I've bean beaten by his family! My social life is nil because of it! When ever he gets mad he yells n screams rapist! He is one unhinge man! The story he told police doesn't match with my where about at all! It was a vindictive hanus crime n story he told! My life has never been the same since! He lied I got nfs but it feels like it's not enough ..
Ajames - 31-Aug-17 @ 1:48 AM
It isn't just being accused of it. There are many men in prison who have been convicted of rape in a long term relationship. No evidence is required anymore thanks to a change in the law. The woman just has to say it happened and it is treated as the truth. It is the only crime where no evidence beyond a reasonable doubt is needed. Disgusting.
angryanne - 12-Aug-17 @ 12:09 PM
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