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Being Falsely Accused of Rape

By: Lorna Elliott LLB (hons), Barrister - Updated: 19 Apr 2019 |
 
Rape False Accused Offence Victim Crime

It is well known that a rape allegation is very easy to make but very difficult to disprove. Despite this, the conviction rate for rape allegations is shockingly low, at around 5% of all complaints made to the police. Often, the only witness is the person who makes the allegation. There is no need to show medical evidence to support the assertion that the complainant has been raped. In a lot of cases, DNA evidence may show that the accused and the victim had intercourse, but the question is that of consent. Because of the nature of rape allegations, it is very often one person’s word against another’s.

Why Does it Happen?

Unfortunately, allegations of rape can be made flippantly and without any consideration for the consequences. The alleged ‘victim’ could be angry, could have been coached into believing that they were raped, for example, by a counsellor or other professional, or they could simply be trying to shed blame onto someone.

How False Allegations Often Start

If a ‘disclosure’ is then made to a third party, that is when the lie begins to gather pace of its own. As people ask more questions, the ‘victim’ can find themselves being given a lot of attention. By the time the proper interview is given to the police, the ‘victim’ may have told their lie so many times that many details about the offence start to surface. This is different from a real allegation of sexual assault, in which the victim’s account generally remains intact throughout the investigation and any subsequent court proceedings. A false allegation changes subtly but rapidly. As a result it is up to the accused to be able to expose the lie, or risk being convicted and facing a prison sentence.

What Can You Do?

There are two things that you can do to help to get yourself out of this situation: first, be consistent in the way you present your version of events; and second, ask yourself what was going on at the time in the ‘victim’s’ life. Although this might sound strange, and you might think that the last thing you want to do is empathise with the person who has falsely accused you, there is an extremely good reason for doing this. If you can identify what was happening at the time, you are in a better position to find out the reason for the false allegation.

Questions to Ask Yourself

  • Were they angry with you, or someone else?
  • Were they going through a particularly stressful time?
  • What reason did they have for wanting you out of the way?
  • Were you absent from their life at the time they made the allegation? If this is the case, could it be that they are blaming you or punishing you – when the reality is that it was because you were emotionally or physically absent from them at the time?

If you find the reason for the lie, you can expose the truth.

Read our articles on Being Falsely Accused of Domestic Violence and Being Falsely Accused of Child Abuse on this site.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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"My partner has been accused of rape and domestic violence all over social media by his ex wife. We don't know what to do .... His ex wife has already accused my son for "touching" her daughter but the courts didn't even take it to consideration in because she was still allowed to spend time with us. This is been going on for nearly two years. We are living in fear of the next malicious statement. What can we do ...it's draining and really scary day to day." You are experiencing what I'm currently experiencing. I'm traumatized as hell and it's like living in fear of a false accusation. Not cool.
Joe - 19-Apr-19 @ 2:26 AM
My partner has been accused of rape and domestic violence all over social media by his ex wife. We don't know what to do .... His ex wife has already accused my son for "touching" her daughter but the courts didn't even take it to consideration in because she was still allowed to spend time with us. This is been going on for nearly two years. We are living in fear of the next malicious statement. What can we do ...it's draining and really scary day to day.
Howes - 11-Mar-19 @ 6:45 AM
My fiancé is in jail awaiting trial due to the actions of ex-girlfriend. She would constantly harass the two of us, both stalking my Facebook page and using his kids she has with him to drive us apart. In her latest attempt she has accused him of raping both his daughter and her daughter from a previous relationship. These claims seem unlikely due to many factors including the fact that he lived with his grandmother (whom he was taking care of at time.) that didn't allow for children in her home, when he did have time with his children it was always with his two boysand his ex has a history of doing things like this resulting in the father of her other daughter severing all ties with both her and the child. We hoped this information would be enough but after being questioned by the police that took "whatever" as a yes. He has been in jail for over a year awaiting a trial, the one lawyer, his grandmother could afford offered little help and the public defenders given to him by the court have done nothing but tell him to pled guilty. This is a very difficult situation, and we don't know what to do, every time I see him, he looks more and more unhappy and he keeps asking about his sons (whom were left in the care of their mother who is clearly in a relationship with a neighborhood thug that had threatened to abuse them in the past) and I can't help him.
Lilly - 30-Jan-19 @ 10:27 PM
Hi all, My ex also accused me of raping her in 2009 so she can run away with all my 4 kids have new acconadation complete control kids and get all benefits. Been 6 weeks not seen them the system is joke.
Ams - 22-Nov-18 @ 10:21 AM
My ex, who I have a 3 year old daughter with has falsely accused me of raping her. She's made false allegations of domestic violence against me in the past. All of these prior allegations have never gone to court as she has either dropped the charges or the CPS have dropped the charges. My ex says I raped her 2 weeks after the birth of our daughter. I apparently drugged her and raped her in her sleep. This was meant to have happened 3 years ago but she only made the allegation now. She has since gone to the police and dropped the charges and the police have said they're not taking it any further, nfa it states in their letter. Now she has taken me to civil court to stop me from seeing my daughter, which she never allowed anyway and has applied for sole custody of our daughter and has successfully got a non molestation order against me. She gets free legal aid but I have to pay my legal costs. Everything seems so unfair. I haven't seen my daughter in 6 months and then it was only briefly. I feel very,very low.
RK - 27-Sep-18 @ 12:26 PM
Hi my husaband was accused of rape by my friends daughter, but we are never apart and he has never been alone with her. She is seventeen and her family came to see me my partner and made us aware that she had reported this to social services as she is under them, because they do not believe her and are willing to be witnesses against her. She also texted me the day she made the aligation asking if she come come down to see how we all were. Her family also disclosed that she has also had a problem with making a story true to herself even if it isn’t true and showing obsessive behaviour towards boys/men. I have always been with my husband and she has never been alone with him, she has stated that last year to her friends and family she had sec with my husband, but her family didn’t tell me because they didn’t believe her and now she is changing it to rape. I’m not sure where we go from here as every time we go to the police station to see if it has been logged, there is nothing on system and it has now been 5 days.
Leah147 - 9-Apr-18 @ 10:19 PM
Anyadvicewelcome - Your Question:
My partner was arrested 10 weeks ago when I 1 week over due our baby, the cops came into my house wouldn't tell us what was going on just cuffed him and took him away. I followed to the station where I was very distressed and still failed to tell me what was going on but they did let me sit in the waiting room for over an hour in convulsions crying. Apparently he raped a 65 yr old woman(he is 37) 11 weeks before.We do know the woman not very well but he swears he didn't do it and that he didn't even kno who made the allegations until the police showed him her picture at the end of his questioning. It has now been 10 weeks and we haven't heard another thing about it. My partners name is blackened around where we live and I'm getting abusive messages from the "victims" family.

Our Response:
The police are responsible for investigating allegations of rape and for gathering the evidence. In more serious or complex cases, the Crown Prosecution Service decides whether a person should be charged with a criminal offence, and, if so, what that offence should be. There has to be sufficient evidence for the CPS to bring charges. You can see the stages the process takes via the CPS link here, which should explain all you need to know. You should keep all evidence of any threats received and pass them over to the police.
SeparatedDads - 7-Dec-17 @ 12:40 PM
My partner was arrested 10 weeks ago when i 1 week over due our baby, the cops came into my house wouldn't tell us what was going on just cuffed him and took him away. I followed to the station where I was very distressed and still failed to tell me what was going on but they did let me sit in the waiting room for over an hour in convulsions crying. Apparently he raped a 65 yr old woman(he is 37) 11 weeks before.We do know the woman not very well but he swears he didn't do it and that he didn't even kno who made the allegations until the police showed him her picture at the end of his questioning. It has now been 10 weeks and we haven't heard another thing about it. My partners name is blackened around where we live and I'm getting abusive messages from the "victims" family.
Anyadvicewelcome - 5-Dec-17 @ 6:13 PM
My brother has had an allegation of rape produced against him from his ex-wife He was bailed with conditions of which there would be no contact with her or his two children His bail was not reinstated today.. no charge but with on going investigations...? Child services are Now saying he still cannot have contact with his kids Is this correct Have they the power to implement this Please help
Aky - 16-Nov-17 @ 6:06 PM
Tez - Your Question:
So the allegations have been made in which rape was mentioned. She has now come to her senses and contacted me and admitting in writing this was all a big mistake and that she had blown everything out of proportion. The police however do not now seem to be interested in listening to her now telling them it was false allegations and are more or less ignoring her. She has made repeated calls and text messages to the officers dealing with the case but no one returns her call or messages. She is suffering worse than I am with the amount of stress (admittedly I'm not holding up to well) any advice or help would be greatly and I mean greatly appreciated!

Our Response:
The decision to prosecute is a matter for the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS), not the police. The responsibility to investigate criminal allegations lies with the police and generally once their investigations are concluded, the CPS will make the decision if there should be a criminal prosecution.
SeparatedDads - 14-Nov-17 @ 2:16 PM
So the allegations have been made in which rape was mentioned. She has now come to her senses and contacted me and admitting in writing this was all a big mistake and that she had blown everything out of proportion. The police however do not now seem to be interested in listening to her now telling them it was false allegations and are more or less ignoring her. She has made repeated calls and text messages to the officers dealing with the case but no one returns her call or messages. She is suffering worse than I am with the amount of stress (admittedly I'm not holding up to well) any advice or help would be greatly and I mean greatly appreciated!
Tez - 13-Nov-17 @ 9:00 PM
My ex wife has been accusing me of rape .we are going to court for custody of the children at the moment and she has already gone to the police saying that I pushed her and i used her bank card without her knowing I was in custody for 22 hours before they was both dropped by the police. Now she's saying this. What can I do?
Oz - 4-Nov-17 @ 10:27 PM
@Ajames - you need to get as far as possible away from this man as you can and KEEP away!
Garvey - 31-Aug-17 @ 3:59 PM
In March I left my cheating n voilent ex it's was the hardest thing ever, I loved him so much. Then he rang me n said he was gonna get me done for rape ..he'll be known I was at a mates In the next county. I got woke up by a mate n said the police want me,I knew he'd done it! 12 hrs in jail degraded. I didn't see him for a while n then he filled me full of more lies n I kinda believed them! Since then I've bean beaten by his family! My social life is nil because of it! When ever he gets mad he yells n screams rapist! He is one unhinge man! The story he told police doesn't match with my where about at all! It was a vindictive hanus crime n story he told! My life has never been the same since! He lied I got nfs but it feels like it's not enough ..
Ajames - 31-Aug-17 @ 1:48 AM
It isn't just being accused of it. There are many men in prison who have been convicted of rape in a long term relationship. No evidence is required anymore thanks to a change in the law. The woman just has to say it happened and it is treated as the truth. It is the only crime where no evidence beyond a reasonable doubt is needed. Disgusting.
angryanne - 12-Aug-17 @ 12:09 PM
My brother has recently split from his cheating ex of 4 years. He helped her bring up her son from another man and since had my 2 and a half year old nephew. Things were great and just after returning from a family holiday he finds out she cheated on him. They split up and she goes to the police and says he has imprisioned her for the past 2 years, raped her and also hit her. This is all lies, she has severe mental help issues and has hit him in the past. He now isn't allowed to see his son for at least 28 days (none of us are). We have messages and are trying to prove that he didn't do these things and this is her messed up way of not letting him see his son. When we asked the police if she will be prosicuted once she's proved to be lying they've said no, that nothing ever comes of that which is ridiculous! She should be punished for wasting police time and accusing an innocent man of these allegations. Any suggestions on anything will be great as we're falling apart right now. Thank you
Devastatedfamily - 4-Jul-17 @ 10:38 PM
My estranged wife accused me of raping her for the last 9 years of our marriage over a year after we separated and divorce proceedings had started. She has suffered from mental health issues all her life and been sectioned several times going back 20yrs before we met. She made the false allegations to police while I was on holiday and I was arrested on the plane when it landed back in uk and bailed for 3 months -I received a letter the day before I was due to answer my bail saying it had been extended another 3 months then another letter the morning I was due to go back 3 months later saying refused to charge. The day I was arrested she broke into our house which she hadn't resided in for 14 months and removed all of my belongings into storage The police drew up my bail conditions to say a could not return to my own home or place of work as my estranged wife are directors in our own company and she had returned to work after an abscence of 2 yrs while I was on holiday My bail conditions effectively meant I was homeless and jobless and sleeping on my girlfriends parents couch who I had met only twice before.i have since received copies of my estranged wife's bank statements during the financial proceedings and discovered she withdrew £30,000 from our business account also while I was on holiday a couple of days before she made false allegations. The house and mortgage are in my name and I am now £7k in arrears while she has moved in her family (4 working adults now living there) since October and not paid a penny. 2 months ago when the case was dropped I attempted to return to my business but she took out an injunction against me even though I had 2 independent witnesses and recorded events on my phone and primed the police the day before. So now I'm back to square one waiting to go to court in September . Some of the police involved have been very understanding and do not agree with the way these laws stand but I do believe that in the initial stages there is a great deal of kodus for them in catching a 'rapist' and they allow this to cloud their judgment meaning they then have to try and justify their actions and refuse to even consider charging the accuser for false allegations even when I've offered evidence.....I'm afraid there is no justice in this situation and I no longer have any faith in the police at all....how can this be fair!!!!
Am - 26-Jun-17 @ 9:36 AM
My boyfriend what I've been with for 9 months got accused of rape and there was no further action I've known him 16 years and know that he's not that person does not have that nature in him to do this plz help!!!!
Tam - 19-Apr-17 @ 5:36 PM
Hi my boyfriend ex accused him of attempted rape there was no evidence just her word against his. He was found guilty for this and now she is telling everyone it didn't happen she just wanted him in jail is there anything I can do?
Smith - 26-Mar-17 @ 7:14 PM
My estranged wife has accused me of rape. This is the second false allegation of rape she has made against me. She has also made allegations against her eldest daughter and two of my daughters classmates (at her old primary school) She has been sectioned on several occasions, the last of which was Sept/Oct 2016 after attempting suicide, and has a conviction for harassment against me. My life is currently in tatters, because she has described, in great detail, the fake allegation, with our 14 year old daughter. She is currently staying with her mother, claiming she hates me for what i have done, and although social services are involved, the fact that my daughter wants to be with her mum, is being prioritised. My wife has an extensive history of mental illness, domestic abuse and violence.As I've said, her only conviction is for harassment, mainly due to her "illness" and the reluctance of the authorities to prosecute. She has been diagnosed with bipolar and several behavioural disorders, and there is very little stability in her behaviours. She has consistently lied about me to friends and family, and now seems to be succeeding in turning my daughter again to me. She has made a statement to the family court in order to get an injunction.This statement has several inconsistencies, which I feel can help with my defence . My daughter has lived with me since our separation 5 years ago, that is until this recent false claim. Sorry if this is a bit long winded. I'm struggling to keep myself together, and genuinely fear for my daughters wellbeing, and feel my concerns are not being acted upon. I've was interviewed under caution on Feb 16th but have heard nothing else. No charges have been brought, but I've hardly slept since. My health is bound to suffer the longer this is allowed to continue.
Kong - 17-Mar-17 @ 11:21 AM
One of my family members is being falsely accused of rape after a one night stand. He was released after questioning 4 days ago and we have heard nothing! Does it take a long time to even get an update? Is no news good news? Please someone help!
Smith - 9-Feb-17 @ 3:38 PM
My mum was with my partner before me, they had two dates and things didnt work out! 2 years later we got together and had our son, at first things where good untill my mum and my partner rowed over something stupid. now shes reporting him to the poluce for indecent assulting her whilst she lived with us. This is because she cannot just come and stay at mine as she did before and seeing her grandson is not as easy as when they where talking. she says shes reporting him when she doesnt get her way! why should i feel blackmailed into my mum seeing my son just so she wont cause our little family agro with the police?! please help :-[
ra - 8-Jan-17 @ 9:19 PM
my boyfriend was accused falsely of rape by his best friend (that he raped the guys sister) he got arrested last month and I'm scared of conviction.
Crys - 7-Aug-16 @ 6:27 AM
I have been in prison for 24 years because someone wanted to adopt my kids after wife and I split up. They coerced my kids who were 5, 3, and 2. They have recanted saying they were made to say what they did. They are now28, 30, and 31. I am applying for clemency.I got 3 life sentences and was charged with aggravated rape.I am innocent. Even the projector knew it. What can I do. I want my story out there. This can happen to anyone. Even YOU!!!
Dwight - 28-Jul-16 @ 1:03 AM
When i was away on job training a rumour got spread about my daughter that she had been raped she told me about it and i was not happy when i arrived home my daughter who is 12 told me to go into school to sort it then next morning she was laughing and dancing with me before school a few hours later i have police and social worker saying i cannot see my kids and made me sign something other an allegation i had to go to the police station couple days later where they told me my daughter said i raped her when she was around 5-8 i could not speak i was shocked took me a while to get my words out they asked me a few questions then let me go on bail. i have since been drinking so close to hanging myself and cut my wrist all because i cannot see my children they offered her the chance to have an examination and she refused it a week later she wants to speak to police again to say something else my life as been turned upside down i may of lost my job even before its started and i have not seen my kids for a month and missed my sons 3rd birthday i can have supervised contact but it will break me even more my daughter is acting the same before the allegation and after the allegation mum told me she just bothered about doing videos on her ipod and talking about boyfriends she dont care what she doing to me and rest of the kids and my partner my family is supporting me best they can they say if no evidence i will be fine how can i prove that i am innocent she refused the examintion that would of proved she has not had sex i didnt want her to go through that at her age not nice but now i wish they made her do the examintion i keep thinking the police cps are going to believe what she is saying i have not got alot fight left in me anymore
dc20016 - 6-Jun-16 @ 11:46 PM
ddvvtt - Your Question:
My ex-partner had me arrested on allegations of assault drugging and raping for 7 and a half years all my charges with dropped. She has contradicted his statements to the police and to the social services. I know also contradicted has statement to cafcass. Will the tree parties cross reference hair statements before Court. The accusations were impossible and was dropped immediately by the police. I have had to be assessed by social services and didn't my statements my ex-partner makes me out to be a manipulator and in eyes everything I say.Advise anybody please David

Our Response:
I'm afraid there is little advice I can give, except you can only be honest, which is always the best policy. If you are innocent of the charges and the charges have been dropped, then there shouldn't be an issue as any statements you give will be consistent.
SeparatedDads - 25-May-16 @ 10:11 AM
Peeni - Your Question:
Some girl accused my boyfriend for raping her and he don't even know her and the police asking him questions. like he telling the truth and they don't too much believe him so what will happen

Our Response:
I'm afraid we can't predict what will happen as all will depend on whether the police and CPS can gather enough evidence to prosecute your boyfriend.
SeparatedDads - 24-May-16 @ 2:59 PM
Some girl accused my boyfriend for raping her and he don't even know her and the police asking him questions . like he telling the truth and they don't too much believe him so what will happen
Peeni - 24-May-16 @ 8:38 AM
My ex-partner had me arrested on allegations of assault drugging and raping for 7 and a half years all my charges with dropped. She has contradicted his statements to the police and to the social services. I know also contradicted has statement to cafcass. Will the tree parties cross reference hair statements before Court. The accusations were impossible and was dropped immediately by the police. I have had to be assessed by social services and didn't my statements my ex-partner makes me out to be a manipulator and in eyes everything I say. Advise anybody please David
ddvvtt - 24-May-16 @ 2:59 AM
I accused in pocso case of my child, I am step father of victim girl I was fighted with my wife and said don't want to live with me and after 2days she case on me that i did raped to the child, but in real I never thought about this I can't this big crime ever. and now advocate saying no body can save you from going 14years jail there is no need injury also to put case on innocent these are the kannon I can't do anything
Irfan - 20-Apr-16 @ 1:55 AM
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