Whether you’re a parent yourself or not, the dating scene can be tricky. And from the point of view of a woman who wants to start dating a separated dad, it can be a complete minefield. If you want to make a success of a relationship, it’s worth thinking about whether you’re really ready to in effect take on another woman’s children, even if it’s probably going to be a part-time venture!
The Not-Sure-I-Should-Be-Doing This Separated Dad
One thing you can be faced with when you start to date a recently-separated dad is their guilt. It doesn’t matter if the separation from their child’s mother was amicable, her ‘fault’ or down to his own misdemeanours, there will always be an element of guilt where the kids are involved. Take Fiona for example.
Fiona’s Experience with dating a Separated Dad
“I met John, a recently separated dad on a dating site a few years ago. He’d separated from his wife a few months previously, due to her own adultery and he was clearly finding it hard to cope with this, despite putting on a show of bravado.
“John saw his kids every weekend, in fact when we first started dating, he was staying at the former matrimonial home overnight most weekends, as he had been forced to rent a small flat so that his wife and children were able to carry on in the house without too much upheaval. The arrangement worked as well as can be expected, but there was bitterness on her part that he had found a girlfriend – even though she had first – and she wasn’t happy that he was now seeing me on one of the nights that she had been going out with her new love.”
Meeting the Children of a Separated dad
Fiona met John’s children quite early on in the relationship, which surprised her, as most separated dads are reluctant to involve the kids straight away. “I went to his flat one evening, when he’d been allowed to have the girls overnight, and I was introduced as ‘Daddy’s friend’ which I was fine with, as I was really aware of not wanting to confuse the children. We seemed to get along OK, although when one of them started to play up, I felt very reluctant to say anything as there was no way I wanted to get involved in any arguments about discipline so early on!”
When he’s Just Not Really Ready
The relationship went on for a few months, but Fiona was convinced that there was something wrong.“John was constantly fretting about his wife, her feelings, and the kids. I didn’t complain as I knew it had been hard for him, but he seemed very reluctant to actually tell people that we were dating. He went to every effort to make sure the children knew we were ‘just friends’ even though his eldest has asked if I was his girlfriend, he didn’t want to meet my friends or family or introduce me to his, all the time we were dating.
“I tried not to put any pressure on him, didn’t complain about his constant fretting or the times that his wife put a spanner in the works when we were supposed to go out. I listened to him moan about her, and worry about whether she was looking after the girls properly. I even tried to encourage him to have the girls stay with him more often so that he got to spend quality time with them away from the marital home, and the influence of his ex, who seemed to blame him for everything despite her affair, and rely on him for absolutely everything.
It all Goes Wrong
“After a while it became obvious that he just wasn’t ready for a relationship, and he broke it off, deciding that the time wasn’t right, he wanted to concentrate on his kids and that he just wanted to be friends. I was upset but I hadn’t really spent much time with the girls so at least there was no real bonding there, and he didn’t have to explain why we weren’t seeing each other anymore.
“They were lovely kids, and because I didn’t have any children of my own, I had entertained ideas of maybe forging a closer relationship with them and befriending them. It wasn’t to be though – although we limped along as friends for a little while, we became distant. He managed to come to terms with being a separated dad eventually, and started up a new relationship and even have another baby. The girls are both doing really well and by all accounts get on famously with their new step mum, but only because he’s dealt with his guilt and waited until he was in the right frame of mind to get involved with a woman again. I wish him well!”
Fiona is now dating another separated dad, but this time he's been separated for a long time! She gets on very well with his son and it's all worked out very well. Fiona's advice? "Make sure that any separated dad you date is actually ready for a relationship, because if he has doubts and doesn't think he should be dating, it will end in tears!"
Business Energy With a Difference
If you are looking for business energy or need advanced solutions like remote energy monitoring, new supplies, downgrading or upgrading capacity have a no obligation chat wuth Purely Energy. To find our more get in touch here..
Dr. Salem I want to start first by saying a big “thank you” to you . There are a bunch of nuts out there just trying to make a fast buck, but you are genuine! I prayed before I went online that God would send me exactly where I needed to go to find help for my problems concerning my love life.. And I mean I went directly to your site and felt it was the place I needed to be. now my family is reunited and my lover is back to me with masses of love. I’m forever grateful! Dr. Salem is legitimate and his gift is for real. Of that I am certain, Thank you thank you!!! you can contact him on this Email- salemmanifestloverspell @ g mail. com
Vee Lavinia - 8-Aug-24 @ 5:46 AM
I can’t think of anything more painful or heartbreaking than hearing your husband say “I don’t love you anymore. Or “It’s over. I’m in love with someone else.” I was heart broken when my husband left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but I could not control the pains that tormented my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because I was really in love with my husband. I have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that directed me to Dr.Excellent a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 11hours. Me and my husband are living happily together again, This man is powerful, Contact Dr. Excellent for any kind of spiritual problems or any kind of spell or relationship problems he is capable of making things right for you with no side effect. Here his contact. WhatsApp him at: +2348084273514 "Or email him at: Excellentspellcaster@gmail. com
cindy byrd - 22-Jun-24 @ 3:36 AM
This tech guru @prompttechrecovery on Telegram, helped me recover from a cryptocurrency investment scam with great help. Throughout the entire procedure, their professionalism and dedication were genuinely impressive. I sincerely appreciate their help during a trying period. I heartily endorse their services to anyone dealing with such difficulties
CandaceGaius - 20-Jun-24 @ 9:53 PM
Good works deserves good recommendation, I met a powerful spell caster and He is very real, Honest and Genuine. All thanks to Dr.Excellent spell caster for helping me to bring back my husband. I was heart broken when my husband left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but I could not control the pains that tormented my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because I was really in love with my husband. I have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that directed me to Dr.Excellent a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 11hours. Me and my husband are living happily together again, This man is powerful, you can contact him now. I will advice anyone that have relationship problem or marriage problem, financial Difficulty, court case problem contact Dr Excellent now, Here his contact.
WhatsApp him at: +2348084273514 "Or email him at: Excellentspellcaster@gmail. com
oliviastephen02 - 27-Feb-24 @ 8:21 AM
The man I was beginning to date finally told me that he's been separated for more than 5 years but is still married to a woman in Europe and their adult daughters want them to get back together. He wouldn't answer my question: do you still love your wife. Maybe he's not sure. Now I'm not sure whether to trust our growing mutual feelings or if I could trust him to visit them.
Mystique - 3-Jul-19 @ 4:46 PM
Janet - Your Question:
I find these stories really surprising.In every case there somehow a new woman is expected to take on some guys past kids.Can I just say can people in the UK not learn to work on their marriages.In other cultures we all do that.It is not at all nice for children to have to be shuttled between parents and new and strange partners.And no most woman should not have to take on baggage and problems of another guy.One man on here seems intent on boasting his partner is 18years younger.that says it all.So as an older bacon he's expecting her to go chasing him and his kids and put up with his unemployment.His partner must be desperate.As a womb can she not find a man who has a bit more dignity and respect for woman kind!Children from divorced /broken families don't always have good experiences of their childhood.ImAnd there also needs to be some recognition that in the UK the leading cause of the family breakdown is now the 45 year old male seeking a younger madam.The male midlife crises.It is costing the UK thousands and children's and families.
Our Response:
Many thanks for your interesting comments and perceptions, I'm sure they will interest our readers.
SeparatedDads - 9-Aug-16 @ 10:19 AM
I find these stories really surprising.In every case there somehow a new woman is expected to take on some guys past kids.Can I just say can people in the UK not learn to work on their marriages.
In other cultures we all do that.It is not at all nice for children to have to be shuttled between parents and new and strange partners.
And no most woman should not have to take on baggage and problems of another guy.One man on here seems intent on boasting his partner is 18years younger...that says it all....So as an older bacon he's expecting her to go chasing him and his kids and put up with his unemployment.His partner must be desperate.As a womb can she not find a man who has a bit more dignity and respect for woman kind!
Children from divorced /broken families don't always have good experiences of their childhood.ImAnd there also needs to be some recognition that in the UK the leading cause of the family breakdown is now the 45 year old male seeking a younger madam.The male midlife crises.It is costing the UK thousands and children's and families.
Janet - 8-Aug-16 @ 9:06 AM
Adriaan - Your Question:
We've been divorced since 2005 and she took, with my consent (and an agreement in place for the kids to SKYPE, write and visit me in SA at least twice a year) the 2 kids (then aged 5 and 3yrs) to NZ that same year. That was the last time I saw them. Not helping or allowing me to be involved in the kids' live. Now they need passports/citizenship to travel to the US. I do not want to sign again before I can get to see them. Is there some law that can help me enforce her to let me see the kids on a regular basis or get them returned to SA on a permanent basis?
Our Response:
You would have to seek advice from an international family law solicitor here as we are a UK-based site with knowledge of only UK family law.
SeparatedDads - 4-May-16 @ 2:01 PM
We've been divorced since 2005 and she took, with my consent (and an agreement in place for the kids to SKYPE, write and visit me in SA at least twice a year) the 2 kids (then aged 5 and 3yrs)to NZ that same year. That was the last time i saw them. Not helping or allowing me to be involved in the kids' live. Now they need passports/citizenship to travel to the US. I do not want to sign again before i can get to see them.
Is there some law that can help me enforce her to let me see the kids on a regular basis or get them returned to SA on a permanent basis?
Adriaan - 4-May-16 @ 8:18 AM
HI, after some advice, me and my ex have a voluntary arrangement regarding maintenance payments.
i just wanted to know if im within my rights to stop the payments if she is dating another guy, and can i stop him moving in with my kids.....
francis - 16-Jun-15 @ 8:56 PM
I need some advice! My fiancé has a near 2 year old daughter with his ex and she recently moved to england with the child (we live in Scotland) what rights does he have to see his daughter? he wants to take her back up here to scotland to see her grandparents and that for 2 weeks in tje summer and every second christmas and new year, are we allowed? thanks!
stephgibsx - 2-Mar-15 @ 11:07 PM
My partner has recently found out he s the father to a year old baby with his ex wife. He has now decided to pursue her for joint custody. He stays with me and advised he will have the child at mine, I do not want anything to do with his ex or the child. How likely is he to get awarded joint custody when his home address is mine and I categorically do not want involved? I've suggested he gets his own place, perhaps my feelings will change in the future but this has came as a shock. Please help.
advice? - 26-Jan-14 @ 9:22 AM
Hi, very interesting story. I am a separated dad and have 3 chidren. Shortly after moving out of the marital home I started dating my current partner (18 yrs younger than me ;-) ) She was aware of the situation and although the children knew about her I didn't introduce them to her until 4 months into the relation ship (in contrary to theri mum who has introduced at least a dozen men in the past 3 years to them - my son actually walked in on mum and 'a strange man' one morning). I couldn't give my new partner enough praise on how she has dealt with the ups and downs in the relationship, divorce and financial matters, unemployment and my children. She has accepted them as her own and they absolutely adore my partner. Sometimes it does work out perfectly but as the writer said both persons involved need to be in the right frame of mind.
Patricia Re: When Your Ex Gets a New Partner
I will share with you my experience with Dr. Salem, I was lost because my boyfriend left me after seven wonderful years. He…
20 November 2024
tireddad Re: Your Separated Father's Rights
I'm struggling iv got a son in australia and iv not had contact after his mum attacked me with two knives 3 days before he was…
Mary H Re: When Your Ex Gets a New Partner
I have been divorced for about 2 months now. I caught my husband cheating on me at his place of work. I wouldn't know who he…
HellenFredrich Re: How Visitation Rights Work For Fathers
Monitoring your teenager's social involvements is the most committed effort every parent must put to ensure the day…
20 October 2024
HellenFredrich Re: Communication With Your Children
Monitoring your teenager's social involvements is the most committed effort every parent must put to ensure the day to day…
Re: When Your Ex Gets a New Partner
I will share with you my experience with Dr. Salem, I was lost because my boyfriend left me after seven wonderful years. He…
Re: Your Separated Father's Rights
I'm struggling iv got a son in australia and iv not had contact after his mum attacked me with two knives 3 days before he was…
Re: Working With the CSA on Support Payments
There is only one way for me to believe is though a (dna test .that’s the only way )
Re: Working With the CSA on Support Payments
So my advice stop writing all over the internet.whose messages I sent years ago were (spam ).it was a (joke )but…
Re: Working With the CSA on Support Payments
Ha ha ha I see you writing all over the internet your the one mental health issues.I’m glad I haven’t dealt with…
Re: Working With the CSA on Support Payments
I really need some advice regarding paying my child maintenance my ex-wife moved my children 130 miles away without…
Re: When Your Ex Gets a New Partner
I have been divorced for about 2 months now. I caught my husband cheating on me at his place of work. I wouldn't know who he…
Re: Introducing a New Partner to Your Children
Some parents fail to provide, neglect their parental duties, and betray their families through infidelity and…
Re: How Visitation Rights Work For Fathers
Monitoring your teenager's social involvements is the most committed effort every parent must put to ensure the day…
Re: Communication With Your Children
Monitoring your teenager's social involvements is the most committed effort every parent must put to ensure the day to day…